Radiognome
Feb 18th 2009, 03:09 PM
I have travelled many roads in my life of 35 years, and I plan to travel many more. I find joy in recognizing my forever companion on my journey, at times He was invisible because I was farsighted, too in love with the search. Other times He was invisible because I was nearsighted, too in love with my own will. Now He is visible and makes good conversation along this road.
I was raised in a Methodist church, went to Sunday school as a child and spent many hours in church settings. My parents were and still are stoic and stable, good role models of moral character and moderation in life. But they always seemed to shy away from the big questions in life as I was growing up. When the birds and bees came up, my mother gave me a book, and I symbolically got the gesture that this was something I could figure out on my own, no need to ask a lot of questions about it. It was the same with my faith. They made sure I was in that church building and hearing the message, but we never really talked about any of it as a family. It was kind of "it's between you and God" more or less.
So nobody really flinched when I stopped going to church in high school and pretty much rejected organized religion as a whole. Then later I ramped up my drinking and ventured into my seeking ways through drugs. Before anyone chalks this up as another "wayward son" story, know that I was very good at approaching drug use in what I thought was an intelligent and responsible manner. I kept my priorities straight in school for the most part, and read books before I took the plunge including a now out of print book by William Braden called "The Private Sea: LSD and the Search for God".
Anyway, never hitting a rock bottom allowed me to continue in this false search for a long time. Then during college, my best friend was saved. I followed him for a while, but that was the problem... I was trying to follow his salvation while not allowing for my own.
All during this time, I never rejected God. I knew he was there if I reached out, and I did in fact I was saved in this time and had long periods of complete sobriety, but I lacked consistency. Later I married a great girl and started a family. I had grown up some, but not enough. I had a steady job as a teacher, but I would still fall back and party in my free time. Eventually we moved to another state and found a great church home. I had already been saved, but wasn't allowing Christ to direct my life. I was too busy trying to be the one in control. In this non-denominational church we made the decision to rededicate ourselves and were baptized by immersion for the first time in our lives. We became very active and helped to carry out some great worship opportunities that our church offered. A couple of years later we felt the call to return to our home town, which we have done. I have seen family members begin to grow in their faith around us. I love the fact that I pray with my children every morning on the way to school and again every night (my parents prayed for me, but never with me). I love praying with my wife
and talking about scripture and being a Christian with others. I love writing about what it means to be a Christian.
I am still a seeker, but now I seek a deeper intimacy and a deeper understanding. I seek God's will and the unraveling of His story for my life.
While I will always fall short of Him, I will seek out each new day with some purpose and pray as in Psalms 143:8 "Lord show me your loving kindness in the morning for I put my trust in your. Show me the path I should walk for to You I lift up my soul."
Though I will stumble and fall, though I may get distracted at times by the scenery, I plan to always remember His path and stay on this road to freedom all the days of my life.
I was raised in a Methodist church, went to Sunday school as a child and spent many hours in church settings. My parents were and still are stoic and stable, good role models of moral character and moderation in life. But they always seemed to shy away from the big questions in life as I was growing up. When the birds and bees came up, my mother gave me a book, and I symbolically got the gesture that this was something I could figure out on my own, no need to ask a lot of questions about it. It was the same with my faith. They made sure I was in that church building and hearing the message, but we never really talked about any of it as a family. It was kind of "it's between you and God" more or less.
So nobody really flinched when I stopped going to church in high school and pretty much rejected organized religion as a whole. Then later I ramped up my drinking and ventured into my seeking ways through drugs. Before anyone chalks this up as another "wayward son" story, know that I was very good at approaching drug use in what I thought was an intelligent and responsible manner. I kept my priorities straight in school for the most part, and read books before I took the plunge including a now out of print book by William Braden called "The Private Sea: LSD and the Search for God".
Anyway, never hitting a rock bottom allowed me to continue in this false search for a long time. Then during college, my best friend was saved. I followed him for a while, but that was the problem... I was trying to follow his salvation while not allowing for my own.
All during this time, I never rejected God. I knew he was there if I reached out, and I did in fact I was saved in this time and had long periods of complete sobriety, but I lacked consistency. Later I married a great girl and started a family. I had grown up some, but not enough. I had a steady job as a teacher, but I would still fall back and party in my free time. Eventually we moved to another state and found a great church home. I had already been saved, but wasn't allowing Christ to direct my life. I was too busy trying to be the one in control. In this non-denominational church we made the decision to rededicate ourselves and were baptized by immersion for the first time in our lives. We became very active and helped to carry out some great worship opportunities that our church offered. A couple of years later we felt the call to return to our home town, which we have done. I have seen family members begin to grow in their faith around us. I love the fact that I pray with my children every morning on the way to school and again every night (my parents prayed for me, but never with me). I love praying with my wife
and talking about scripture and being a Christian with others. I love writing about what it means to be a Christian.
I am still a seeker, but now I seek a deeper intimacy and a deeper understanding. I seek God's will and the unraveling of His story for my life.
While I will always fall short of Him, I will seek out each new day with some purpose and pray as in Psalms 143:8 "Lord show me your loving kindness in the morning for I put my trust in your. Show me the path I should walk for to You I lift up my soul."
Though I will stumble and fall, though I may get distracted at times by the scenery, I plan to always remember His path and stay on this road to freedom all the days of my life.