dena_cat
Mar 16th 2009, 04:06 AM
I havn't been in here in a while. The reason for that is because, after 8 years of continouse soberity, I relapsed. I started using Crystal Meth again. In 2 years I lost my government job, my car, my dog, all my kitties (there were 8), everything I owned including most of my clothes, and almost my freedom. I am looking at 8 years in prison if my probation gets violated again. I am telling you this because a little background is needed. In December 2007 I was already on probation and had it transferred from Nevada to Utah where I was living. I was still using meth even knowing that I was risking prison. One I begged God for help. I asked him to please send someone to me to help me get off the drugs and get back on the path to Him. On January 17, 2008 I was arrested for a warrent out of Nevada for not reporting to my probation officer in Utah. I had been reporting she just wasn't reporting to Nevada. 2 days after I was arrested I tried to commit sucide. I was sitting in my cell with no clothes and wrapped in blanket. I was crying and telling God how angry I was and why wouldn't He just let me die. I lost my little ones, my parents were never going to talk to me again, and I was going to prison for 8 years. Out of no where this voice said that I would be released. After I got off sucide watch I called my parents. They were upset because I hadn't told them I was in trouble again and that I had relapsed. How could they help? On February 1 I was booked into the jail in Las Vegas Nevada. My Judge there is not known for giving second chances. While I was waiting for my court date I got in touch with the Pastor in the jail. He gave me several books one of them is called "From Prison to Praise". I also got a bible. I attended bible study every week. I was also put on the psychic ward there cause I was sucidal where I had my own room by myself. My parents and an old family friend were putting money on my books. When I got a court date my parents came from North Carolina to Las Vegas to be in court with me. I hadn't seen them in over 4 years. My judge reinstated my probation, ordered me into a rehab center there in Las Vegas (i had to stay in jail until a bed was ready for me), and after that I was to go to North Carolina and live with my parents. That was the 11th of March. I was told that it would be 3 to 6 months before I would get a bed. On April 18 I was released to my probation officer there and taken to the Salvation Army Adult Rehbiltaion Program. A Christian based 6 month program. They gave me clothes and shoes to wear. I was given food stamps to help feed me. I was paid a few dollars each week from the work therapy part of the program. Every 6 weeks I was given a little more. 3 times I should have been kicked out of there because of my temper. 3 times I was given a reprieve. I graduated on October 17, 2008. A sober living house was found for me until my probation was transferred to North Carolina and I could leave state. I arrived at my parents house the Sunday before Thanksgiving. My parents had built me a nice little one bedroom apartment above thier garage fully furnished. They take to my PO and every where I need to go. My mom has even given me her laptop to use. If and when I get ajob they will let me have a kitten. Also, my dog and my kitties, (my little ones) were taken to a No Kill Shelter in Idaho where they have all found homes and have gotten medical care. I asked God for help. I got it. In every way He has been there right beside me all the way. He did what He thought was best for me. I can't say that I am happy about all of it. I would rather not have relapsed at all and gotten into trouble again. God has diffently showed me He is there with me and has plans for me that don't include me going to prison. I am grateful for that.:)