In need of some guidance and prayer...

[Kazayam]

I have been struggling with this for quite some time now and I really need to know what it is that I feel.

I have been an active marijuana smoker on and off for a couple of years- never got into the everyday habit as that is not my personality. But what confuses me so much is God's view on this vs my view on this. And why its become so hard is this: when I would smoke, and be alone, I feel like Im so close to God. I started worshiping him singing him songs out in my buddies backyard one night- and I havn't lifted my voice to Him in years! I feel so much more closer to Him, I feel Him, I know Him- but it frusterates me because "smoking is a sin" is all I seem to hear; yet I feel closer to God. :confused

Per my confusion, I just really want to hear some perspective or something that any of you may feel guided to share. I have been through a really rough patch these past 2 years of my life, and I fell into a lot of junk, but none of them made me feel how I feel when I smoke and be one on one with God. I quit smoking cigs, quit with the stupid computer pictures and movies belittling beloved women, and I am really trying to get back on track with God.

Marijuana might become legal in California further confusing me- as many peoples arguments agaisn't it was that "it's agaisn't the law and in the Bible it says to follow and obey the law". I hate being drunk, and I hate falling short of what God has planned for me.

All in all, I just really need some guidance. I have went to the scriptures, went to God, and just can't seem to find an answer that allows me to do so. Besides the fact that God created all plants for our use-cannabis being an ingredient in the holy annointing oil, and things like that- I still seem like I am out of place. But the worst part about all of it is how I feel when I experience God when I'm on it. My thoughts are always racing through the day, most of them bad, but when I smoke and really get quiet with myself and God I feel feel Him and thats what makes everything just go :B


Really hard to explain, but please; prayer, guidance, and some perspective would be muuuuuuuuch appreciated. God bless and hope everyones doing just swell.

[turtledove]

Well, I am sure you can assume that.. we surely won't encourage you on this website to smoke weed because you think it makes you feel close to God...Anything, doesn't go here..I will try to help you see what is happening and doing so very prayerfully because we do care. :)

That being said..you are talking about feeling 'high' here. An induced stage of "feeling" because of any kind of drug is not indicative that God approves or is even present. It's a very good counterfeit and not the real thing. The joy of the Lord in your life is much more than simply a high feeling although one does feel great when one is joyful..This is not what you are experiencing and, if pursued, it could lead to a very unhealthy, dependent state because:

If you don't stop indulging in this and think it is just okay.this could lead to addiction and in time you could want more to induce this feeling you describe... You will find it hard to get along without it. There are drug addicts who can tell you that they started with smoking weed and graduated to stronger stuff.


You say you want to get back on track with God. Smoking marijuana is not the way to do it. If you think that it is harmless..then you are, indeed, deceived.

Sins can feel good but eventually sin builds upon sin and the road goes downhill. Because a sin may feel good it doesn't make it right and sooner or later it takes its toll on us. If we are fooled by the devil by these momentary feelings..we can later be taken more and more into the captivity sin brings.

Some plants, even though part of creation, are poisonous and dangerous if used by people..and God did create them. So thinking that it is okay to smoke it; because it's a plant..just doesn't cut it.

:pray:Surely you are in my prayers tonight..May God grant you mercy and deliverance from the tactics and lies of the devil. May you find your happiness and joy in God in a natural and appropriate way as you learn more about Jesus, study the Word, and endeavor to live a life guided by the Holy Spirit in fellowship with other believers. You need to pray and you don't need a drug induced state of euphoria to do it. Just pray no matter how you feel. It is a matter of talking to God..that simple. You want the real joy of the Lord in your life..then get right with Him.

John 8:44 There is no truth in him [the devil]. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. (NIV)

wiseoldowl ...BtC moderator.

[DaniHansen]

There are drugs/herbs out there that lower inhibitions, and marijuana is one of them.

Honestly, do you need drugs to worship God freely? Wouldn't it be better to just ask for His grace to draw close to Him and pour out your heart to Him? I can't see any justification in God condoning drugs as a crutch to worship Him. Would you drink alcohol until you're half drunk so your inhibitions could be lowered so that you could worship God? That doesn't sound right, does it? Well, it's no different with marijuana.

Seems to me that drugs, are simply substitutions for the Spirit of God, who has been given to us by Jesus to assist us in our walk with the Lord and to help us draw near to Him. Wouldn't it be better to just ask God to help you worship Him freely and to give you the grace to step past your personal inhibitions during your private times with Him? Where nobody can see you but God anyway?

Marijuana may have some medicinal benefit, but it also alters your brain chemistry. It is a fake and cheap substitute for the real thing, which is God Himself. If you wish to settle for a substitute and drug dependency with it, then that is bondage, not freedom. People who are free need no crutches.

And snake poison is a natural substance too. So the "marijuana being a natural herb" excuse doesn't quite cut it there, does it? Just because something is found in nature, doesn't mean it's good for us. And just because God put something there, doesn't mean man is using it properly. We're known to pervert all sorts of things God has meant for something totally different. :)

If your thoughts race often and your mind gets jumbled then the cure for that is to meditate on God's word. Scripture meditation and saturating our minds with the word of God will quiet us down and get us focused. Leaning on Him more, and all these outward things and cheap crutches less or not at all, is what will bring us through these situations that we feel we can't quite get a handle on. Because what a crutch does, is hinder your feet from using their muscles and tendons properly, and so they atrophy due to lack of use. While crutches seem to be helping us in the short term, they're really in the long run hurting us very severely and keeping us from walking properly with our God, firm and solid.

[baxpack7]

Good evening Kazayam

I want to start by telling you that I was a pot smoker for 17 years straight w/out missing a day. Good pot, bad pot-I've smoked it all in one way or another.

The problem was (which I think you might or might not agree with) like yourself, I began to rationalize my habit by saying "Since it's natural, and part of the fruit of the earth, then it's OK to partake". Well, that's wrong to think because even though it's getting closer to being legalized, it will be a while before that happens and until then, it's still against the law (per what you said in your post).
Second of all, believe it or not, pot IS addicting. The THC in it is like nicotine in cigarettes, which is/are the addicting chemicals. It will get(like it did for me) to be a habit. Habits are not what God wants for us. He wants us to cast our cares,troubles,wants and desires up to Him and to not lean on anything else for comfort.
Thirdly(is that a word?:confused) marijuana is a hallucinogenic making us susceptible to whatever the devil wants to do with us. You said that when you smoke pot, it gives you a sense of closeness with our Creator. I believe that that can't be further from the truth. When I smoked, I got high, making me feel like I was getting away from my problems, even if for just a short time. Do you think that this is the case for yourself?
Lastly, the health effects are just as real as smoking cigarettes, if not more. Pot also relaxes you, allowing your inhibitions to be stripped away and once again opening you up to things that you might not want to do.

If you haven't been doing pot for a long time, STOP! It's easier to stop if the THC isn't running rampant in your system. As for getting closer to God, pray, read your bible, but most of all, find better things to do with the time you have to spare. And most important of all-until you get a LOT stronger in your faith, you have to stop hanging around those who DO smoke. When I quit I had to stop hangin' around a bunch of people I knew to avoid temptation. When I told those friends about my decision, they actually understood, and even said "I wish I could quit just like that".
Find a good church and make friends with the people there. You'll find that there's plenty to do within a good fellowship.

I hope that you don't look upon my post as too harsh, just trying to be helpful. If you want to know more about me, check out my signature below.

Have a God-blessed day!:hug::pray:

[RUN2GOD]

First of all, God still loves you. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I think anything of this world could potentially be a stumbling block, if you put it between you and the Lord. If it is on your conscience, then it is a stumbling block, if it leads you into temptation, then it is a stumbling block. Obviously,some drugs are more likely than others to lead to stealing, killing, adultry,etc. Caffiene is addictive, but i don't think i'm sinning every time i drink my coffee in the morning. then again i don't let that keep me from reading my morning daily either.Don't give up ,most of all, we're all a work in progress. I just thought I would put my:2cents:in.

[Kazayam]

I truly appreciate the feedback from you all. I know I need to change my ways and live for God, but I feel like it's so hard to do sometimes- as I don't really know what God has planned for me. But like anyone else, I'm sure thats the same way...


I never replaced pot with God in the sense that I had to use to in order to worship and feel the way I do while high, but I felt like he would really touch me sometimes and I never felt that feeling before. No not the high, a true sense of peace with just me and God. Obviously I have a lot of work to do if I can't attain that being sober right? ....yeah but much easier said than done I suppose...

I feel like I've started over so many times just to fall into the same junk, and when I finally get out- or at least when I feel like I'm out, I realize that I am far from it. I want to experience God like I've never before, but don't know how. I will indeed read the Bible much more and try to get into a church for some fellowship.

What books of the Bible, or practices would any of you recommend to do so that I can start a new relationship with God? I honestly want to give Him everything, but there are some things that i feel like I can't let go because they are apart of me. Example- my past. And I want to serve Him, but I feel so lost... :giveup:

I'm gonna stop or else I'll type a book but please continue to talk with me if of course you have time. I think I lack so much fellowship in my life that I've become something that I thought I never would be-like everyone else.

gahhhh :B

but I am truly working on changing my ways and my life so please pray for me. thanks so much...

[baxpack7]

Gotta be headin' to bed real soon. But I'll keep an eye out for ya, so if you really want to talk about this then I don't have a problem helping out. That's what God has me here for. If you wish for this to be less public then you can start a thread in Chat to moderators where we can focus on help for you in the biblical way, not the humanly(fleshly) way.

Good night and blessed dreams. Talk to you tomorrow?

[livingwaters]

Kazayam, you have been given excellent advice. No one looks down on you, cause we are all sinners. Only through reading the Word and seeking the Lord can we overcome our sins and shortcomings, through God's forgiveness and grace. We are all a work in progress. But, just let me say this: Quit smoking!!!! It gives you a "false sense" of peace. Everything is just the "same old, same old" when the high wears off. We can all try to justify our sins, but in the end, the wages of sin is death. Change friends, cause if you're in the environment or not being encouraged and supported to stop smoking weed, YOU WON'T!!!!!!!!! Jesus can deliver you, now!!! Call on HIS name and surrender your WHOLE life to HIM, not just the parts that you want HIM to have. HE delivered me of pot, pills, alcohol, and 3 pks of cigarettes a day...with no, not one withdrawal!!!! So, I know what Jesus can do, but you must want HIM to do it!!!!! That's the key!!!!!!:pp:pp:pp:pp:pp:pp

Just think, the money you're spending on pot, you can feed a homeless person, at least one meal every now and then, be a big brother to a kid who has no one, try to find a true, can't do it myself, widow that might need her grass cut or car washed...get it???? That's what God wants us to do!!! LOVE HIM and LOVE ONE ANOTHER. We must crucify self everyday and pick up our cross and follow JESUS!!! Alleluia...Alleluia.. Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

God Bless:)

[DaniHansen]

Well, honey, there comes a point in our lives where we have to make a decision who we're going to follow, cause we can't have it both ways and be successful. If we live with one foot in the world, we will always trip ourselves up and fall flat on our faces, and stay double minded, never fully knowing everything God has for us, and always going back and forth. That is misery. That is torment. That is not living; it's existing. How sad. And how very beneath the life God has for us, with Himself at the center, at all times.

God is either God, or He isn't. Jesus is either Lord of all, or not Lord at all.

We can either continue to be our own god and have it our way (and believe me, God will NOT share His rightful throne with our desire to want to remain in control and play god when it suits us or let Him be God when it suits us), or we can surrender, once and for all.

The horrible thing happens when we have already lied to ourselves to such an extent that we actually think we have something to lose when we surrender to God. When we're already losing out on an amazing, all encompassing, completely awesome relationship with Him by thinking we're missing out on whatever garbage we think the world has to offer. It doesn't. It's headed for destruction, the ways of the world are utter garbage, lost and forsaken, with people treating one another like dogs, because nobody cares about anyone but themselves, and everyone has their own agenda. It's not just "look out for number one"; it's "look out for number one and only". When God already gave us His most precious, His Son, His life. He has already proven Himself. Is it too much to ask to give Him the whole of us, without holding back?

Surrender, and be free, once and for all. God loves you, He will withhold no good things from His children that He paid for with His own life and blood. :hug:

[Kazayam]

I don't mind having this in public just in case anyone else is having a similar problem because I haven't been able to relate to a lot of people on this...

I think what's eating me up inside everyday is the fact that I live a lie and justify living a lie because I feel like it's something good in my life. err.. hard to explain...

I want God to take control of everything and anything in my life, whatever he wants me to do i'll do it, wherever he wants me to go i'll go- its just getting to that point is the tough part. I don't feel called to anything, I don't feel led or motivated, or inspired which is heartbreaking because there is so much to live for and so many people to help. I WANT to be a voice, a leader, someone who really changes the world and not just the world I live in. I want people to love the way God loves, I want people to care the way God cares... ~sigh yet all i see is hate...and I just wish it were different.

But i should be happy for what I have; and i am. you give me a spoon full of peas for dinner and i won't say a word, i am so grateful and content with what i have...

I feel like i need to start over, but i've done that so many times i'm afraid i'll fall back into my struggle and drown in my sin...but i will keep my held as high as it can until then for God paid the price and i am ever so grateful.

praise be to Him in all I do and in everything I live my new life...just have a whole buncha stumbling blocks to jump over soon....

thanks again all of you and hope all is well

[DaniHansen]

If you know you're living a lie, then stop living it. We tend to make it too complicated, when it's really pretty simple.

You only have 24 hours in one day. That's a very limited amount. If you fill it with God, and doing the things you already know He wants you to do, no matter how trivial, then you'll have no time to fill it with anything else. All that requires is awareness of the fact that God gives you that time, as well as your next breath, and so redeem it, and use it for Him. All of it.

A Scripture that has always meant much to me is Zachariah 4:10:
For who has despised the day of small things?

Everything big God builds, starts small. A mighty oak tree starts out as a seed. A human being starts out as a single cell. We have to learn to not despise the baby steps and the small beginnings. Because over time, when followed diligently, they will lead us to our destiny. We have to learn to crawl before we can walk and jog before we can run marathons.

Discard the fluff and focus on the solid things. Integrity. Diligence. Discipline. Remove the distractions. Get rid of what continues to trip you up. Just toss it, and don't look back. Find a group of people who are what you want to be, and join yourself with them in fellowship. Many of the things we're looking for, are caught, not taught. Find a church and stick with them and get involved in serving others. Simplify your life, and make it solid, and then let God build on that.

You want to be a leader? Then be a great follower first. And follow the greatest leader of all, which is Jesus. Who came to serve us and give His life a ransom for many. Become a great servant. Because those who would lead others, must serve everyone. Adopt a life of servanthood of those around you. Ask yourself every day "how can I make somebody else's life a little better today?" Then find someone, or ask God to bring you someone, and go do it. Get your eyes off yourself, and on God, and on the people around you, and ask how you can serve. Because it's not about you. You already have God. It's about how you can give Him to others, who don't have Him. :)

[danny25172009]

hello, CHEER UP..THE BIBLE SAYS "REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS AND AGAIN I SAY REJOICE! DO IT AND YOU WILL BE FINE.
IF YOU SMOKE MJ DO U FEEL GUILTY? ARE YOU CONDEMNING YOUR SELF? REMEMBER: THE DEVIL IS A CHEATER, A LIAR, AN ACCUSER, HE IS DECEIVING BY SAYING THAT YOU ARE CLOSER TO GOD EVEN IF YOU SMOKED MJ-THAT'S A BIG LIE!! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT YOUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF THE HOLY SPIRIT? AND THOSE WHO DESTROY THE TEMPLE GOD WILL DESTROY! THINK ABOUT THIS: W.W.J.D. (WHAT WILL JESUS DO?) IF YOU ARE SMOKING OR DOING THINGS THAT COULD DESTROY YOU?-GOD BLESS

[Asjer]

Hey kazayam, i really appreciate your honesty on this subject..
I have also struggled with this problem, but not only this.. There are a lot of everyday sins people do.. But i tell you the bible sais, everything that you dont do out of faith is a sin, and i personally use this to help me along with the help of God.. The bible says we all sin, and he who does not sin makes God out for a liar.. I truly love God and i have left everything behind to serve him.. But honestly i do think there are some things man could rejoice over, for example the paycheck of a man after his hard work, herbs and trees and fruit and vegetables, even a glass of wine.. God has put them all their for our pleasure, but they must not distract us in doing the work of God.. When we eat one meal and eat to our satisfaction, this is good.. But when we eat too much of the meal,even when we are full.. this is gluttony or lust.. When we drink whine we only drink one glass, or else it would be abuse of the wine, which leads to drunkness.. and so i see this in verything, you can use it or abuse it..

God has personally released me from the bondages of sin, and i see you have already had some help with stopping smoking cigarettes etcetera..
The moment you open the door and let God come in and have a meal with you, he starts working in you.. He also helped me one step at a time, and everytime he helped me see what the problem is, how i'm causing the problem, and then waits for me to solve it.. God will make known to you what exactly it is that is causing you to sin, and he will cause you to take out the root of the problem..
But for this to occur you must believe and have faith, and daily spend time worshipping God in His Word, and trust me, you will learn a lot from God's word even though it would seem that nothings working, in time you will see more and more changes that will be made in your life. These changes made by you, with the immense help from God, For without God's help we cannot be released from sin, we need supernatural power, because our heart itself is wanting to go to the left when we want to walk straight ahead. Our own heart itself misleads us, because it is crooked and like stone.. Then we have the spirit of the world which misleads us aswell, then we have also have the Devil and his demons themselves that would do anything to keep you as far away from God as possible.. We humans on our own cannot defeat these influences knowing the state of our heart.. So that is why we are ALL in need of God's powerful help, for without him we are nothing..
So ask God to work in you in everything and keep on reading your bible, show God that you want to have Favor in His eyes, that you want to become a part of His loving family for good and that you want Him to become a part of your life, make some spiritual sacrifices of your own, things you cán change.. Show That you want to rely on only him to tell you what to do, for God tells us what to do, but it is our decision to do it.. and that is why we need to build our faith up with his word, we need to build up, we need to grow, for anything that is not growing is dead.. we need to grow each day we grow a little bit more, and so you will see you wont even have a problem leaving those sins behind, because you will grow to love God and out of this love you would want to please him, for it is only the love of God that makes his commandments not burdensome, so Have Faith, Love, Hope, which leads to repentance, and let His holiness keep working in you, for just as God buildeth the earth so Beautiful and so balanced out of nothing, he will prove to do the same to you, he will place a wreath of charm upon your head, and a golden necklace upon your throat.. But have patience with God, But also do not wait too long, for the end is coming.. And he is waiting on account of you and all those wanting to know him, for HE LOVES every single one of us,and therefore he has patience for everyone that loves him- because God is love..

ALL you have to do is believe and you will start seeing God as if he were before your own eyes, telling you with his own words what to do
Praise the Lord For eternity

[turtledove]

What books of the Bible, or practices would any of you recommend to do so that I can start a new relationship with God? I honestly want to give Him everything, but there are some things that i feel like I can't let go because they are apart of me. Example- my past. And I want to serve
I'm gonna stop or else I'll type a book but please continue to talk with me if of course you have time. I think I lack so much fellowship in my life that I've become something that I thought I never would be-like everyone else.



but I am truly working on changing my ways and my life so please pray for me. thanks so much...

Kazayam, God will meet you just where you are and then work on you as you let go of some of the things that are causing you to stumble. Your sincerity as shown by what you say above in this paragraph and request for prayer shows that God is working in you because of His great love for you as He does work in me and all of us here.

As for the books in the bible..I think Psalms is a great place to start in..there is so much there we can all relate to. You don't have to go chapter by chapter; but can skip around. I would especially suggest Psalm 139 (which shows just how well God knows and loves each one of us) and Psalm 40 which I am posting for you below this.

And it's good to read any of the gospels but if you want to go through all the chapters in a gospel I would suggest starting out with the Gospel of Mark. In this it shows how many times Jesus had compassion and healed and delivered people. Also..I agree with Dani here in saying that if you think you are called to be a leader..(and you may very well be someday)..you do need to have a servant's heart and you need to first follow Jesus. Leadership itself involves serving others. The gospel of Mark paints for us the wonderful life he led and how he showed us that he is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. It also tells of His death (for us) and His glorious resurrection.

I started my first personal bible study when I was only 17..and as I remember well it was in that gospel that I began. I go back to it time and time again because, like many here, God is not finished working on me either. The Word of God is my lifeline to God and the Holy Spirit will help you as you explore the scriptures. And getting involved in a bible study somewhere..(church likely) will also help you focus on God and also you can find friends there to help and support you.

Here is Psalm 40:

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.

2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD.
4 Blessed is the man
who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud,
to those who turn aside to false gods.
5 Many, O LORD my God,
are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us
no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them,
they would be too many to declare.
6 Sacrifice and offering you did not desire,
but my ears you have pierced ;
burnt offerings and sin offerings
you did not require.
7 Then I said, "Here I am, I have come—
it is written about me in the scroll.
8 I desire to do your will, O my God;
your law is within my heart."
9 I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly;
I do not seal my lips,
as you know, O LORD.
10 I do not hide your righteousness in my heart;
I speak of your faithfulness and salvation.
I do not conceal your love and your truth
from the great assembly.
11 Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;
may your love and your truth always protect me.
12 For troubles without number surround me;
my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.
They are more than the hairs of my head,
and my heart fails within me.
13 Be pleased, O LORD, to save me;
O LORD, come quickly to help me.
14 May all who seek to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
15 May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!"
be appalled at their own shame.
16 But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who love your salvation always say,
"The LORD be exalted!" 17 Yet I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O my God, do not delay. (NIV)

Psalm 119:105 "Your Word, O, Lord, is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." (NIV)


As for practices..worship God, praise God (in all of your circumstances), and pray..Reach out to give to others-- to lend a helping hand when opportunities arise.




(Luke 6:38 NIV) Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."




peace and prayers...:pray:

[Kazayam]

Thanks much to everyone posting and praying, I really appreciate it- many more thanks to all the encouraging words and verses because they are really hitting home. I prayed last night that and basically gave everything to God; in that i am starting over in a way and trying to live differently. So please pray for when I am tempted, or my thoughts start racing, that I will be able to do what God wants me to do...

I guess I have taken the first step...and I know I won't magically feel all good and happy, but I do feel as if the burden of choosing and deciding has been taken away as it is up to God now, as it always should have been... but I will be truly patient and wait on the Lord. Psalm 40:1 starts with "I waited patiently for the LORD" and that is what I will do.

I know I am only accountable to the Lord, but it would be nice to have someone do the same thing and guide me through this so I will look for that possibly in church or in one of my friends who wouldn't dare trip me up...

As for WANTING God to take control of my life, and leading it, and being apart of it; I don't know exactly HOW to do that- as I have trouble fighting my racing thoughts vs what God might be telling me. But I shall be silent and listen just in case. I will hopefully attend church this sunday (first time in probably a year or so) or find a college group or something to fit in and be apart of after I get off work...we'll see how it works out....

Everything is, and should be God's and I am starting to understand that now in a different way than I did before. I just hope I am strong enough to put up with myself, my temptation, my wants, lusts, and sins.

Thanks for the motivation and prayers-still. God bless your lives.

[DaniHansen]

Well honey, for those times you're not strong enough, you know that Jesus is strong enough. I'm not strong enough to put up with myself either, but thankfully the Holy Spirit is more than able to handle me. Just ask Him to keep you and for His grace to continue on, no matter what. :)

[Kazayam]

Well honey, for those times you're not strong enough, you know that Jesus is strong enough. I'm not strong enough to put up with myself either, but thankfully the Holy Spirit is more than able to handle me. Just ask Him to keep you and for His grace to continue on, no matter what. :)


Thanks much love, appreciate it...I will do that and keep my head held high

[Kazayam]

Also if any of you need prayer for anything I'd be glad to pray for you...please just let me know. Or maybe just need an ear- i wouldn't mind listening.