Phroggie
Apr 7th 2009, 10:23 PM
Hi All,
With my baptism getting closer by the second (Easter Sunday) I thought I'd post the testimony I'll be giving during the service.
My story begins in a small American town in central Pennsylvania:
I was brought up in the Lutheran church, being christened as a baby, attending Sunday school, Confirmation as a teenager, and singing in various choirs since I was old enough to first join. If I'm honest, I did all of this, except the singing, out of obligation to my parents rather than a personal desire. Where I lived, families went to church together on Sunday morning. As it was expected of me and because all the other families were doing the same thing, I never questioned it. I would stand beside my parents, reciting the same words, week after week, all the while having no real idea what any of it meant.
This continued throughout high school and college, though now as I was reciting the words, I was thinking to myself, 'Here we ago again', and my mind would wander to what I was going to do with the rest of the day or something else completely unrelated.
Skipping ahead a few years to 1997, after I met my husband (tango), and moved to England... (that’s a whole other story in itself!)
Once I'd settled here, my Mom encouraged me to find a church, and for a while tango and I attended the church of the Vicar who married us. I got involved in one of Ladies groups and even did the Alpha course. Though I'd made some new friends and had started praying and reading the Bible, I still wasn't really understanding what I was reading. To add to my doubts, I'd read about people having religious experiences, where God spoke to them and I had thoughts like, 'Why them and not me? I thought God was supposed to love everyone, doesn't he love me?'
Several months went by and we moved to an area, which made getting to this particular church awkward, so eventually we stopped going completely. I continued reading a passage in the Bible every night and saying my prayers, but still I heard nothing.
The following year two tragedies occurred in my life, namely the deaths of my parents. In the months that followed I grew angry at God. I remember thinking, 'If he's such a great God, how could he let this happen to me? He obviously doesn't love me, so why should I love Him?' It wasn’t long before the praying and bible reading stopped completely. I decided I didn't want anything to do with Him anymore.
8years went by and my bitterness and anger grew. I was also having real trouble coping with my parents' deaths. Eventually, with some gentle yet firm persuasion from tango, I decided to seek some counseling. Within the first few sessions I began to feel better, feeling happier as though I was coming to life again.
A short time after confronting and dealing with my issues, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing from my life and I began to wonder if that something could be God.
To put the timing into perspective, I should mention here, that around the same time tango’s walk with God was also beginning.
After much discussion, we decided we wanted to try out some of the local churches, so on October 14th, 2007 we attended our first church service. After being angry at God for so many years I was feeling EXTREMELY nervous about even being in a church, so much so that I nearly stayed home. Looking back, I am SO glad I didn't.
The service started and from the very beginning I felt as though worship leader had been speaking directly to me. Before the 1st hymn, 'How Great Thou Art', he encouraged each of us to allow God into our hearts. As I sang along I got bit tearful, a song that I had sung many times in the past was beginning to have meaning. Feeling a little embarrassed, I sniffled a bit and hoped that no one had noticed.
Another song followed immediately after: We Bow Down. The words being:
We bow down and confess
You are Lord in this place
You are all I need
It’s Your face I seek
In the presence of Your light
We bow down, we bow down.
As I sang the words, 'You are all I need, It's Your face I seek...' I had to sit down because my legs felt like jelly and back came the tears. I remember repeating 'It's time! It's time!' over and over in my mind. That's when IT happened, the moment I became a Christian! The moment I stopped doubting and began believing that God, The One & Only, loves me.
For the rest of the service, I felt as though my heart might leap out of my chest at any moment.
Since then, my faith and love for God has grown stronger with each passing day. The biggest personal change that I’ve noticed is the rediscovery of my love of singing and music. You can ask tango, it doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing, I can usually be found humming a melody or singing a lyric, often without even realizing I’m doing it. The difference between today and when I was younger is that now I BELIEVE in WHO and WHAT I’m singing about
As I finish preparing my story, I’m reminded of the words on the noticeboard in the church hall: PRAISE Him for all that is past and TRUST him for all that is to come. Which is exactly what I try to do each and every day.
Thanks for reading!
With my baptism getting closer by the second (Easter Sunday) I thought I'd post the testimony I'll be giving during the service.
My story begins in a small American town in central Pennsylvania:
I was brought up in the Lutheran church, being christened as a baby, attending Sunday school, Confirmation as a teenager, and singing in various choirs since I was old enough to first join. If I'm honest, I did all of this, except the singing, out of obligation to my parents rather than a personal desire. Where I lived, families went to church together on Sunday morning. As it was expected of me and because all the other families were doing the same thing, I never questioned it. I would stand beside my parents, reciting the same words, week after week, all the while having no real idea what any of it meant.
This continued throughout high school and college, though now as I was reciting the words, I was thinking to myself, 'Here we ago again', and my mind would wander to what I was going to do with the rest of the day or something else completely unrelated.
Skipping ahead a few years to 1997, after I met my husband (tango), and moved to England... (that’s a whole other story in itself!)
Once I'd settled here, my Mom encouraged me to find a church, and for a while tango and I attended the church of the Vicar who married us. I got involved in one of Ladies groups and even did the Alpha course. Though I'd made some new friends and had started praying and reading the Bible, I still wasn't really understanding what I was reading. To add to my doubts, I'd read about people having religious experiences, where God spoke to them and I had thoughts like, 'Why them and not me? I thought God was supposed to love everyone, doesn't he love me?'
Several months went by and we moved to an area, which made getting to this particular church awkward, so eventually we stopped going completely. I continued reading a passage in the Bible every night and saying my prayers, but still I heard nothing.
The following year two tragedies occurred in my life, namely the deaths of my parents. In the months that followed I grew angry at God. I remember thinking, 'If he's such a great God, how could he let this happen to me? He obviously doesn't love me, so why should I love Him?' It wasn’t long before the praying and bible reading stopped completely. I decided I didn't want anything to do with Him anymore.
8years went by and my bitterness and anger grew. I was also having real trouble coping with my parents' deaths. Eventually, with some gentle yet firm persuasion from tango, I decided to seek some counseling. Within the first few sessions I began to feel better, feeling happier as though I was coming to life again.
A short time after confronting and dealing with my issues, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing from my life and I began to wonder if that something could be God.
To put the timing into perspective, I should mention here, that around the same time tango’s walk with God was also beginning.
After much discussion, we decided we wanted to try out some of the local churches, so on October 14th, 2007 we attended our first church service. After being angry at God for so many years I was feeling EXTREMELY nervous about even being in a church, so much so that I nearly stayed home. Looking back, I am SO glad I didn't.
The service started and from the very beginning I felt as though worship leader had been speaking directly to me. Before the 1st hymn, 'How Great Thou Art', he encouraged each of us to allow God into our hearts. As I sang along I got bit tearful, a song that I had sung many times in the past was beginning to have meaning. Feeling a little embarrassed, I sniffled a bit and hoped that no one had noticed.
Another song followed immediately after: We Bow Down. The words being:
We bow down and confess
You are Lord in this place
You are all I need
It’s Your face I seek
In the presence of Your light
We bow down, we bow down.
As I sang the words, 'You are all I need, It's Your face I seek...' I had to sit down because my legs felt like jelly and back came the tears. I remember repeating 'It's time! It's time!' over and over in my mind. That's when IT happened, the moment I became a Christian! The moment I stopped doubting and began believing that God, The One & Only, loves me.
For the rest of the service, I felt as though my heart might leap out of my chest at any moment.
Since then, my faith and love for God has grown stronger with each passing day. The biggest personal change that I’ve noticed is the rediscovery of my love of singing and music. You can ask tango, it doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing, I can usually be found humming a melody or singing a lyric, often without even realizing I’m doing it. The difference between today and when I was younger is that now I BELIEVE in WHO and WHAT I’m singing about
As I finish preparing my story, I’m reminded of the words on the noticeboard in the church hall: PRAISE Him for all that is past and TRUST him for all that is to come. Which is exactly what I try to do each and every day.
Thanks for reading!