hope4myfamily
Apr 11th 2009, 03:25 PM
I wrote a thread in the Prayer section and someone asked that I also post it here, and I thought it was a great idea. I am going to post my original post that I wrote about a week ago. At the bottom I will add a little update.
"Hi everyone, I am new to this group and looking for some support and prayers. My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, and pretty much all of it has been rocky off and on. The last year or so has gotten worse. We no longer yell at eachother, it just comes everytime to the "what are we even doing here?" talks. I think that since we are married there has to be some way for us to make it work, doesn't God always make that an option?? I want to think so but I want to hear someone else's input. I want so badly for everything to work out but know that it's going to be hard, and he doesn't think it's possible. I said we should try talking to someone but he doesn't want to since I wasn't ready a long time ago when he mentioned that we talk to someone. We are both Christians but neither have the relationship that we want to have with the Lord. We go to church off and on, I tried to get him to go this morning in hopes that getting back into church will also help our own relationship. He refused and basically I ended up telling that I was tired of him not even trying and I wanted him out of the house today. There's pretty much only one place to go for him and he won't go because he doesn't want to be preached at the entire time. So, I agreed to let him stay here but said I want him out soon. Of course, what I really want is for him to hold me and tell me that we are over reacting and things will be fine. But it doesn't seem that will happen so I don't want to live with him forever and be miserable, I'm only 25 years old and hope that if it really does end then I can find someone else to love me later in life. We can not get a divorce until we live separatley for at least 6 months. Personally, I do not want a divorce at all and I'm hoping we can patch things up before either of us moves on.
I am also concerned because we have legal custody of our neice and nephew who we consider our own kids since they have spent most of their lives with us. They will be crushed if we separate! I am concerned because we haven't been able to adopt them and I don't want to risk loosing them if we are not together. I asked him if he was still going to be a part of the kids lives when he leaves and he said "if you want me to". I said "of course, you are still their dad even if we can't work things out" it really hurt me that he said that though, I know he loves the kids and I would have expected him to say "Yes" without even caring if I wanted him to or not.
Augh, I am so torn and crushed about all of this. I don't want to be another divorce statistic. I just want to spend the rest of my life with my husband and kids.
PLEASE pray for us, I could really use some support too. If someone has any words of advice or a personal experience... please share. "
My update is that things are slowly improving. I am currently reading the Love Dare. I am also journaling "our" experience, feel free to check it out if you want. http://cooklovedare.blogspot.com/
"Hi everyone, I am new to this group and looking for some support and prayers. My husband and I have been married for 5 1/2 years, and pretty much all of it has been rocky off and on. The last year or so has gotten worse. We no longer yell at eachother, it just comes everytime to the "what are we even doing here?" talks. I think that since we are married there has to be some way for us to make it work, doesn't God always make that an option?? I want to think so but I want to hear someone else's input. I want so badly for everything to work out but know that it's going to be hard, and he doesn't think it's possible. I said we should try talking to someone but he doesn't want to since I wasn't ready a long time ago when he mentioned that we talk to someone. We are both Christians but neither have the relationship that we want to have with the Lord. We go to church off and on, I tried to get him to go this morning in hopes that getting back into church will also help our own relationship. He refused and basically I ended up telling that I was tired of him not even trying and I wanted him out of the house today. There's pretty much only one place to go for him and he won't go because he doesn't want to be preached at the entire time. So, I agreed to let him stay here but said I want him out soon. Of course, what I really want is for him to hold me and tell me that we are over reacting and things will be fine. But it doesn't seem that will happen so I don't want to live with him forever and be miserable, I'm only 25 years old and hope that if it really does end then I can find someone else to love me later in life. We can not get a divorce until we live separatley for at least 6 months. Personally, I do not want a divorce at all and I'm hoping we can patch things up before either of us moves on.
I am also concerned because we have legal custody of our neice and nephew who we consider our own kids since they have spent most of their lives with us. They will be crushed if we separate! I am concerned because we haven't been able to adopt them and I don't want to risk loosing them if we are not together. I asked him if he was still going to be a part of the kids lives when he leaves and he said "if you want me to". I said "of course, you are still their dad even if we can't work things out" it really hurt me that he said that though, I know he loves the kids and I would have expected him to say "Yes" without even caring if I wanted him to or not.
Augh, I am so torn and crushed about all of this. I don't want to be another divorce statistic. I just want to spend the rest of my life with my husband and kids.
PLEASE pray for us, I could really use some support too. If someone has any words of advice or a personal experience... please share. "
My update is that things are slowly improving. I am currently reading the Love Dare. I am also journaling "our" experience, feel free to check it out if you want. http://cooklovedare.blogspot.com/