Question for singles re: sexual purity

[Welder4Christ]

Hi, everyone;

I would like to direct this question to all of the singles out there.

Do you find it hard to remain sexually pure? I have been single for about 8 yrs. now, and have been walking with Christ for about 3 of those years. Due to my past, and the nature of my past marriage, I have very little desire for sexual intercourse.

I have often thought that I might have the gift of celibacy, because of my weak libido -- but I realize that this might also just be due to the sexual nature of my past marriage, and other abuses that I've suffered in life. I know that I have a lot of trust issues, too, so that might contribute to it.

Anyhow, I have not had that much trouble keeping myself sexually pure, but even so, there are times when I do crave intimacy. I do not allow myself to dwell on these thoughts, so they don't consume me, but even so, there are times when I think it would be nice to have someone to be intimate with.

I hope that this is not inappropriate to talk about here. I guess my question would be -- how do you, as a single person, deal with those times? I'm sure that remaining pure before the Lord doesn't mean that you never have moments where you would enjoy being with someone, right?

How far should you take that desire -- or should you just ignore it altogether? I don't see how it's possible to just ignore something that God has given you an internal desire towards. That seems very unwise. I think a better plan of action would be to acknowledge them, and bring those times before the Lord.

Even so, how do you deal with the desire? Is the desire even in you? Like I said, it's not really a part of my life, but I do get lonely sometimes.

[Sojourner]

:) [Male here] It is hard when sex is struded all over television, movies, and magazine, pop culture in general. We all have needs, but God wants us to wait on His perfect will. The battlefield is our minds, when troubled with thoughts go read the Word of God, or go make some tea, get your mind on something else. Something that seems so right can be so wrong.
Blessings :)

[Metalwolf]

Do I find it hard to remain sexually pure? Yes. I have a strong libido, and I often crave to be with a man. To be bluntly honest, there are times where it feels like I want to go and find a man to sleep with, and it doesn't help that in today's society virgins are treated as if they were freaks.

I try to stay away from anything that could arouse this desire in me, but sex is everywhere these days and sadly, I wouldn't be surprised if one day I end up giving in to my desire for sex in a moment of weakness. :cry:

[moonglow]

I came out of an abusive marriage so I understand some of what you mean on that. I have been divorced for 11 years. Though I didn't behave myself for a couple of years after the divorce..I wanted so badly to have my 'family' you know? But that went very badly too and eventually I gave my life to Christ...since then I have not really even dated. I understand everything you said on this...and our desire at times to just even be held by another person would be nice. I think what you said here is correct in dealing with things:

I don't see how it's possible to just ignore something that God has given you an internal desire towards. That seems very unwise. I think a better plan of action would be to acknowledge them, and bring those times before the Lord.

Yes with sex all over the TV as someone pointed out, or at least heavy kissing on some shows, usually I just change channels..wait a minute then go back and that scene is over with. (if its a show I really did want to watch that is) if not, I find something else to watch or something else to do. I used to make fun of these type of scenes actually to take some of the impact out of them. I would insert my own comments as if I was talking for the actors..."Oh baby you stink horribly! Quit slobbering on my face! What are you some kind of dog? Do you ever brush your teeth?" :lol: I also enjoy making fun of commercials which I also despise...:rolleyes: If I don't 'comment' on a sex scene I still roll my eyes...same old same old and change channels. I am pretty good at 'killing' any kind of lustful thoughts before they have a chance to even start!

As a woman in a way I am lucky because all the magazines with barely dressed women out in every store we walk into, doesn't cause me problems because I am not attracted to other women. They make me cringe but not lust. So those don't present an issue for me. Its actually surprising they don't target women and put alot of men on these magazines. Why put barely dressed women on the cover on women's magazines? I never understood that. Same for the TV too, its mostly women you see barely dressed...not men. Advertisers and shows seemed to ignore us women in this area for some reason. Even though there are more women then men. I guess in that way we are lucky, (and the feminist missed this area), but my heart goes out for the men that are bombarded with these things on a daily basis.

God bless

[Followtheway]

I stayed a virgin till I was 22 and got married, it was very hard, but ive finally learned that the best way to help yourself is take control, and bind up the spirit of perversion and cast it in the pit.