Totally frustrated..not sure what to do or where to go next?

[superwoman8977]

Okay I have an issue and I am not sure where to go with this, now before you jump on the judgemental bandwagon, let me just tell you I have grown to love this man. Its like I said ok God here is the man I want and He blessed me with Him. He loves me and my kids and I have never had a man treat me with such respect and dignity. Okay with that said here in is my problem. We have been dating since a few weeks before my dd was born, we have attended church together and discussed the bible at great length and he is seeking but he is having a hard time coming to grips with the fact of salvation because he is out there everyday and sees so many people doing so many good things he is struggling to believe that the only way to heaven is to know Jesus. Please dont throw a whole bunch of scriptures at me because I have already been there and done that and it just made the situation worse. He is going to church with me, He is seeking, we are talking about it, but he just cant come to grips with it. Any advice and not dating him is not an option he is the man I have prayed for for so long, everything else is awesome just that one thing..

[-SEEKING-]

Well I would say pray. you're mind's made up. Pray that God enlighten him.

[ZAB]

Alot of the time, doctrine is not what unbelievers want to hear. I think you should let the love of God shine through you, all the while praying that Jesus would draw him and reveal Himself to him. I am reminded of the shulamite in the Song of Solomon. This story, if you don't know, is a beautiful picture in type of the Lord Jesus and His bride (Eph 5:25-27, 32).
The shulamite woman is addressed by some of her friends. They ask her, "what is thy beloved more than another beloved" (5:9). In other words, "what's so special about this Jesus person anyway?" Her glorious reply (5:10-16) captivates their apathetic hearts and they in turn desire to seek Him with her! WOW! What a wonderful thing. They end up declaring, "Whither is thy beloved gone, o thou fairest among women? Whither is thy beloved turned aside that we may seek him with thee" (6:1). Simply allow God's living water to flow from your belly (Jn 7:37-38) and pray that he get's thirsty! Bless you.

[Partaker of Christ]

Hi superwoman8977!

I could be wrong, and forgive me if I am, but I think the problem of your frustration, is your lack of patience. Perhaps you can visualise how great life could be like with this man, and the danger is trying to bring about a result, in your own strength, and in your own timing.

Matt 4:1 Then was Jesus led up of the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
Matt 4:2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, he was afterward an hungred.
Matt 4:3 And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread.

After Jesus had fasted for 40 day's, He was understandably very hungry. Satan's first approach, was to tempt Jesus at His weakest physical point. "Turn these stones into bread"

There was nothing ungodly about turning the stones into bread. Infact it was a godly work, just like turning the water into wine, was a godly work.

The issue was; would Jesus act upon His own needs, the voice of Satan, or would He wait on the voice of His Father?

[Sojourner]

What more can I say, except, don't pester him, let the Holy Spirit work on him. God Bless!

[ShortStuff]

superwoman8977,

I would like to give pretty much the same advice as everyone else...I will not throw a lot of scripture at you...simply tell you to pray and be patient..be a witness to this man in all that you say and do..

I will tell you that when my hubby and I married, I was not saved...and it was through my watching and listening to my hubby that I knew he had something I wanted...Jesus and the unending joy, love, and peace..

It was through my DH's witness that I knew what I needed..no one can guarantee that this man will come around but God...so...pray,pray, and pray some more...:pray:... I am sure there will be many of us on here praying with you..maybe you could post a prayer request in the prayer forum..

Mt 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

[Pastor Dennis]

Hi Superwoman.
Believe me there's nothing at all judgemental in what I ask/say here.
There is something that needs to be cleared up if you and he are to have a sound and lasting relationship. You haven't mentioned marriage? From the little bit of info you've provided it is difficult to give you any real advice or words of encouragement except for the obvious ones of making sure that the areas of your life are in agreement with the Word of God.
God is the One who is full of grace and love but He cannot grant you the desires of your heart if your heart and mind and your life are not in line with his desires for you and your life.

[superwoman8977]

Hi Superwoman.
Believe me there's nothing at all judgemental in what I ask/say here.
There is something that needs to be cleared up if you and he are to have a sound and lasting relationship. You haven't mentioned marriage? From the little bit of info you've provided it is difficult to give you any real advice or words of encouragement except for the obvious ones of making sure that the areas of your life are in agreement with the Word of God.
God is the One who is full of grace and love but He cannot grant you the desires of your heart if your heart and mind and your life are not in line with his desires for you and your life.

Right now we are not even thinking about marriage. Both of us were hurt and cheated on in our previous marriages, and so we are broaching that subject very lightly. Right now we are working on knowing each other and building a foundation, marriage will come later because I know my heart is healing from my divorce and I am at this moment trying to show him in so many ways that I am not his ex wife, I am not out to hurt or manipulate him. If anything through all of this I have grown closer to the Lord, someday down the road when we are ready we will talk marriage but for now we are just wanting to get to know each other and I am wanting him to know how deep my spiritual in my life is.

[karenoka27]

You say you are frustrated and you are not sure what to do,but in the same sentence you don't want any of us to tell you either..so I'm a bit confused as to what you are asking.

Get before God. Get on your knees and ask God to reveal to you the direction and purpose for your life. Above another marriage the thing you should be concentrating on more than anything is teaching your children the ways of the Lord that you can one day send them off into the world walking with Him. That is your highest priority..or it should be.

There is always a fear of being alone. Especially when children are involved. I sense this in your post. You need to work on your own relationship with the Lord before you can worry about someone else.

I am not judging you. I can relate more than I care to share right now. I am asking you to talk with the Lord about how this new relationship is affecting your children. You brought them into this world, you need to show them Christ...at any cost...or loss.:hug:

[superwoman8977]

You say you are frustrated and you are not sure what to do,but in the same sentence you don't want any of us to tell you either..so I'm a bit confused as to what you are asking.

Get before God. Get on your knees and ask God to reveal to you the direction and purpose for your life. Above another marriage the thing you should be concentrating on more than anything is teaching your children the ways of the Lord that you can one day send them off into the world walking with Him. That is your highest priority..or it should be.

There is always a fear of being alone. Especially when children are involved. I sense this in your post. You need to work on your own relationship with the Lord before you can worry about someone else.

I am not judging you. I can relate more than I care to share right now. I am asking you to talk with the Lord about how this new relationship is affecting your children. You brought them into this world, you need to show them Christ...at any cost...or loss.:hug:

Thanks but my kids are being taken care of. My kids wanted me to get back out there in the dating world and they love him and love hanging out with him. I am not afraid of being alone, in fact I was ready to be alone when the kids are like mom you need to find someone, so I did I got on a dating website and met him. I am not going to change my faith and relationship with the Lord over a man, I have come way farther with my walk with the Lord not to do that. I just thought it was cool that like everything I asked the Lord for in a person He provided me. I have been on my knees now more than ever before over this. He has PTSD which can be very hard to handle or understand but with everything I went through with my now ex husband and his PTSD I feel like I have learned so much that I can go on with this relationship. I know I have been taught patience and understanding of this awful disorder. My sons look up to me for still having a smile on my face and forging through life even when everything is crashing down around me. As my kids get older it is my prayer that they see me as a fighter, a survivor, who didnt give up and in the end was blessed and happy and at peace no matter what.

[karenoka27]

Thank you for sharing. I will keep your situation in prayer.

What is it that you are asking of us,I'm not quite sure. You seem to be settled in your mind how things are going to be.
If you are wondering what you should do to encourage this man,I would quietly keep him in prayer.

Again, your children walking with the Lord is most important. Bringing a man into their life who isn't,might not help your situation, but in later days only add to the frustration.

praying....:hug:

[Pastor Dennis]

I have just finished reading through these posts again - and it is difficult to know what you'd really like to receive/hear from us. We'd love to help... no mistake about that.

Diligent prayer. Faithfully seeking the will of God and following his way. These are steps that will lead to what I believe you are seeking. But you have been given some very sound advice by Karenoka27 in regard to your relationship with the man you love.... Please think carefully over what she has written - and, most importantly, make this a prior and prime content of your prayers and aim in life.

May you truly find the happiness you're looking for. But remember that happiness in the things of life doesn't always just arrive like a parcel in the mail... it has to be worked for. And there are signposts and guidelines along the way. Some of them have been pointed out to you. God bless you as you find your way forward.

[daughter]

My best advice is ... don't nag him! When I was first saved, it broke my heart that my husband was not in the kingdom, but God just brought it home to me, that I should pray for my husband, love him, obey him, and more than anything, love him.

I could never have nagged my husband into the kingdom, no matter how much scripture I threw at him. But God drew him anyway, and the more easily because I didn't try to do it in my own strength.

[FaithfulSheep]

I'm going to share something with you because I am being led to do so. You probably will not like what I have to say, but when the Lord guides I will follow. Please do read this. Don't stop because of fear of what I am to say. I have not told this to anyone except the Lord and my best friend. But I think God has been waiting for such a time as this to let everything out.

Some background... I am in an unequally yoked relationship and have been for many years now. I tell you that because it is important for what I tell you later.

Have you checked to make sure what you are doing is in line with scripture? I ask because you are asking us for help and counseling, and yet your mind is already made up that you are going to do things your way. You are frustrated and want us to help, but there are limitations to the help you want to receive. To me it seems your mind is made up and although you want advice, you don't want to listen to it. When my husband and I started dating way back in high school, I knew he attended church now and then, but also knew he wasn't a Christian. Even though I knew the Bible commands us not to wed into an unequally yoked relationship, I knew this is what the Lord wanted, so we married. And no, I didn't pray about it... I just "knew." And I too didn't want anyone to tell me otherwise.

We have been together 12 years now and I love my husband just as much as the day we got together if not more. But let me tell you, it's been a very bumpy journey. While in the beginning he would come to church with me, as the years have gone by, he comes less and less. Now, it's just a few times a year. Let me tell you it's been so hard for me serving the Lord alone... going to church, to choir, reading the Bible, doing Bible study, and leading a Godly life... alone... And when I see couples in my church who are serving the Lord together it makes it even harder. I am jealous of the closeness they have in their relationship between them as a couple and the Lord. I pray for his salvation every day and will continue to do so until he gives his heart to the Lord or death does us part. But our priorities are not the same... mine being to the Lord and his being to the world.

Please pray about this long and hard... and ask the Lord to show you HIS will.

I will be praying for you.:hug::pray:

[superwoman8977]

Thank you for the advice. I actually dont consider him an unbeliever, in actuality I consider him a believer that is seeking. I am not asking that you dont give me advice what I am trying to understand is what I can be doing during this time. Somedays we are closer to than others, but its still a very bumpy road. My kids love him, as he is like the dad that is absent in their lives. I have prayed long and hard and me dating him has been confirmed that I am doing the right thing,several times.

[moonglow]

I would just say this..if you truly believe God sent this man to you then God will see to it that he is saved before you are married IF it leads to that...meanwhile you just need to be patient and let the Holy Spirit do its work.

God bless

[Vhayes]

Superwoman, is it possible that God is asking you to make a choice between Him and this man so He can see to whom your heart belongs?

Psalm 37
4 - Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
5 - Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

I'm not being judgmental - just asking that your examine what you are being taught by our Father Who loves us and wants what is best for us.

You aren't married to this man yet and say that you haven't talked about that at this stage. If you are just friends at this point, then my advice would be to enjoy his company, let the light that is within you shine through, stay strong in your beliefs so there is no hypocrisy to be seen and later pointed out by this man and trust God to work in this mans heart. But be sure in your own heart and mind that you will not go against God's teaching on being unequally yoked in marriage to an unbeliever and if push comes to shove, God wins and you'll walk away.
V

[superwoman8977]

Why would God want me to choose? This is where I am very frustrated in my walk right now. All of my life I asked for someone to be broght into my life to love me and to share my life with me. This man I know without a doubt is my knight in shining armor...uggh I am just very frustrating and becoming angry!