Need some bible based advise-moved from Intro

[guidroz1231]

My story is quite long so please just bear with me. I have been caring for my 91-year-old mother for the past 9 years. I had to call her apartment manager who basically verbally attacked me and called me a liar. I calmly asked this lady to calm down and speak to me politely. When she continued to berate be, I told her I was hanging up and then did so. My son is 28 years old, is married with his third child on the way. I have always had a (what I thought) was a very close relationship with his wife. I shared this information with my daughter-in-law and son on more than one occasion and also shared the fact that I formerly thought of this person as a friend and how painful it was to be treated that way.


Fast forward a couple of years later when my son and daughter-in-law moved back to their home town where I live. They finally found a house to buy and to my surprise, they used the person who mistreated me as their realtor. I voiced my hurt to both of them who both stated that they did not realize how much the confrontation had hurt me. Because I did not want it to interfere with my relationship with my son and his wife, we both apologized and went on with our lives and close relationship.


A few months later, I received a call from my son letting me know that they bought a used car and that they bought it from this same person who had mistreated me. I told my son that my feelings were hurt. His response was "I'm sorry you feel that way". His position is basically that the confrontation did not involve them and they should not be prohibited from dealing with this person. I explained to my son that I never expected them to shun her but that there are many capable realtors in town and many vehicles for sale and I feel he did not have to give their business to the one person in town that mistreated his mother. He stated that I have to accept the fact that they will continue to use her for any further real estate transaction they may have.


My question is how I should handle this situation. I know I have to forgive but I naturally want to protect myself from being hurt in the future. I would love some biblical advice.

[Sojourner]

I thank the Lord above for leading you to this board, so glad to have you with us. :pp

[quiet dove]

I moved this thread from Intro so the OP could get some feed back on their concerns.

[karenoka27]

I think you answered your own question when you said, ". I explained to my son that I never expected them to shun her...."

You didn't expect him too, and he didn't. He got some good deals through this woman,so be it.

Don't let this woman who in the past hurt you,hurt your relationship with your family now. It's not worth it.

I say this in love....get over it. You yourself even said you know you need to forgive. You are right. What you are doing now is wanting your family to walk along you in not forgiving this person.

I would suggest having some quiet time with the Lord. Share with Him your hurt and how you are having a hard time getting past all of this. He understands.:hug:

[tango]

Without knowing the details of the services this person offers it's hard to say. Let's say she's the best realtor in town - would you expect your son to go to a realtor who wasn't as good to sustain a grudge that you have against her? If she's selling the car he wants at a good price should he turn down a bargain to sustain your grudge?

More importantly, are you going to let your grudge against this woman harm your relationship with your family because they chose not to join in with the grudge?

I know I'm being direct here, and deliberately so. If you look at the situation through the eyes of an outsider it looks very different.

What I'd say is simple - don't fall out with your family over it. Try to forgive this woman - I'm not going to dispute that she has wronged you but whether you hold a grudge or not is your decision.

Mat 18:23-35 NKJV Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. (24) And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. (25) But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. (26) The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' (27) Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. (28) "But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!' (29) So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.' (30) And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. (31) So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. (32) Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. (33) Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?' (34) And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. (35) "So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses."

[Followtheway]

Ma'am you need to speak with more authority, remember your battle is not against flesh and blood, declare spiritual WAR! As king David one said "turn their curses back upon their own heads"