healing

[Anchovers]

Hi, my name is Andrea and I was looking to post a prayer request because it seems like I'm always struggling with so much stuff..like I struggle with wanting to surrender my life to God but I feel like something's holding me back but I don't want this world either but at the same time I have a hard time committing myself to God even though I know I don't want this world..so I don't get what the thing is that's holding me back..it makes me soo frustrated and hopeless sometimes that I want to cry..I also know I have deep hurt from rejection and having the absence of a father in my life that I never get any affection that much and I've been in bondage to really deep and bad fear in my life that I know I can't get free of from myself because it's not the kind of fear where you face your fears and you get over it..it's the kind that's always in me..and makes me afraid such as when I apply for a job I get really nervous..very afraid, I'm afraid of moving out and living on my own because I'm afraid someone will come in and try to hurt me, I'm afraid to do a lot of stuff because of deep fear of rejection..I also struggle with my thoughts a lot..sometimes they are bad and I feel like I don't know how to control them as much as I use to..but I don't know if that's true..I'm just tired of being in bondage to a lot of stuff..and it makes me feel really discouraged, and hopeless esp with concerning what I told you of struggling to commit my life to God..I know I want to but I feel like it's something holding me back..and I don't know what to do....I don't want to go to hell because of this..I love God deep down inside though..and I know a long time ago my mom prayed with me and I started crying and after the praying was done and I stopped crying I knew God took away all of my hurts in my heart and healed me and gave me joy and put it in my heart that it's about Jesus and that night I was fretting/worrying so much because I felt like I didn't know what I was suppose to do after God did that in my heart..and so I think I didn't commit to him because I didn't know what I was suppose to do and now I'm back to those hurts.......and I feel really bad for that..and I want God in my life..

[Sojourner]

[God want us all to] "...come [to] 1. the knowledge of the Son of God, 2. unto a perfect man, unto 3. the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: ...that we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro..." Eph. 4: beginning with v13

"But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered [affliction] a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you." I Peter 5:10

"Before I was afflicted I went astray: but now have I kept thy word.
It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes." Ps 119:67, 71

[If Gods love is perfected in you then His love will drive out all fear.]
"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love." I John 4:18

[ConqueredbyLove]

I also know I have deep hurt from rejection and having the absence of a father in my life that I never get any affection that much and I've been in bondage to really deep and bad fear in my life that I know I can't get free of from myself because it's not the kind of fear where you face your fears and you get over it..it's the kind that's always in me..and makes me afraid such as when I apply for a job I get really nervous..very afraid, I'm afraid of moving out and living on my own because I'm afraid someone will come in and try to hurt me, I'm afraid to do a lot of stuff because of deep fear of rejection..I also struggle with my thoughts a lot..sometimes they are bad and I feel like I don't know how to control them as much as I use to..but I don't know if that's true..I'm just tired of being in bondage to a lot of stuff..and it makes me feel really discouraged, and hopeless esp with concerning what I told you of struggling to commit my life to God..I know I want to but I feel like it's something holding me back..and I don't know what to do....I don't want to go to hell because of this..I love God deep down inside though..and I know a long time ago my mom prayed with me and I started crying and after the praying was done and I stopped crying I knew God took away all of my hurts in my heart and healed me and gave me joy and put it in my heart that it's about Jesus and that night I was fretting/worrying so much because I felt like I didn't know what I was suppose to do after God did that in my heart..and so I think I didn't commit to him because I didn't know what I was suppose to do and now I'm back to those hurts.......and I feel really bad for that..and I want God in my life..

Hi Andrea...

I am so grateful you came and shared what you have shared :hug: It takes alot of courage to do that, dear heart.

I can indentify with so much of what you post and my heart weeps for you. Know, precious one,that you are not alone and that Jesus not only can, but so desires to help you and bring relief to your grief of heart.

It makes me cry just reading your post because, I too, have experienced alot of rejection; the pain of being rejected is deep and far-reaching and touches almost every aspect of our lives.

We fear being vulnerable, don't you think because we fear that one more person will reject us and the pain of that possibility is overwhelming.

It is extremely hard to commit our lives to God under sch circumstances because we either think we will not perform well enough to please Him (more rejection) or, with me it was that I was afraid of Him because of the abuse and rejection I felt from significant others...:cry: :cry: :cry:

You probably won't believe this now but I am going to tell you anyway...YOU ARE SO LOVED BY GOD...SO VERY, VERY LOVED :kiss:

Know that He understands rejection only too well and is intimately acquainted with you grief ~ He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not (Isaiah 53: 3).

Know that also, He so longs to bring healing to that precious wounded heart of yours and that it is going to get better....There is hope for you, dear one :hug:

If you wish, I would be most grateful to share with you what has helped bring hope and healing to my heart. I am not completely healed yet but I know, by God's grace, I will be, in His perfect time.

My love to you,
Your sister in Christ

P.s. I am going to go look for a devotional to post for you :hug: :kiss: :hug:

[ConqueredbyLove]

I posted a devotional for you in the devotion section :)

[Momof5]

I am moving this thread to the counseling forum where you will receive great advice and more good responses.

[Partaker of Christ]

Hi Andrea!

Matt 12:50 For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

Jesus said whosoever (that is anyone) does the will of my Father:

So, what is the 'will of my Father'?

2Pe 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His promise, as some count slackness, but is longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.

It is the Fathers will, that all would be saved.
So, we do not need to struggle, beg or twist God's arm to save us.

Who would have to beg you to do, what you truly desire to want to do?
It would be silly, so why would we think that the God who loves us, and who desires after us, would reject us?

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
John 3:17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.

John 6:37 All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out.

So, to do the will of my Father in heaven, is to 'come' to him, (who demonstrated His love for us) and recieve His gift of life by grace through faith. Whosoever will 'come' He will by no means cast out (reject)

[Anchovers]

Thanks, that helps..yesterday night I was so struggling with wanting to kill myself and I don't know why....but I just have to trust God with his truth and stuff. Thanks for all the replies/encouragement..it does help!

[Anchovers]

I have wanted to commit my life to Christ but I don't really know what I'm supposed to..I don't really know what it means..to me I've thought it meant to trust God with everything and like praying all day type of thing..How do I have a personal relationship with God and actually get closer to him? I don't really understand..I'm just confused.

[Xel'Naga]

I have wanted to commit my life to Christ but I don't really know what I'm supposed to..I don't really know what it means..to me I've thought it meant to trust God with everything and like praying all day type of thing..How do I have a personal relationship with God and actually get closer to him? I don't really understand..I'm just confused.

Anchovers, are you currently a Christian and unsure of your faith or are you what people would call 'seeking Christ'? Either way, please read the following link and let me know what you think

http://bibleforums.org/forum/showthread.php?t=148125

[Anchovers]

well I know that I love God so I guess you could say I'm seeking christ..I don't think i've ever really gave my whole life to God though because I never really knew how to because I always worry about having to do this and that or mabye I just need a willing heart.

[ConqueredbyLove]

Thanks, that helps..yesterday night I was so struggling with wanting to kill myself and I don't know why....but I just have to trust God with his truth and stuff. Thanks for all the replies/encouragement..it does help!

For people that have been deeply wounded it can be extremely difficult to be able to trust God.

It takes getting to know Him in an ever increasing way...

Why, even the Apostle Paul did not just trust the Lord Jesus Christ automatically...he had to become persuaded through the hurts and questionings of what God allowed in His life...

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8: 38-39

Here is a song from Jesus, just for (((you)))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwlCibGItok

[Anchovers]

I feel like I have to have a lot of friends..and be doing something great for people to accept me..I feel left out from most of my family..and it feels lonely..

[Momof5]

well I know that I love God so I guess you could say I'm seeking christ..I don't think i've ever really gave my whole life to God though because I never really knew how to because I always worry about having to do this and that or mabye I just need a willing heart.

I am happy that you recognize that you are seeking Christ....you know what? You don't have to do this or that to come to Him. He takes us just as we are where we are and then begins a work in us!! A few posts previously, a link was given to you to read. I will repost it. Please read it and tell me your thoughts.

http://http://bibleforums.org/forum/showthread.php?t=148125

If you would like to chat privately, the Chat to the Moderators forum is always available.:hug: