Either ... or!?!

[kristen054]

I thought about putting "Divorce or Suicide" but that sounds much more dramatic than I want to sound! I don't think I could really ever commit suicide. As much as I wish I could... I just know when it came down to it... I'd fail (oh what a reoccurring theme in my life... failure!)

And I really never thought divorce would ever be something that would touch my life personally. I didn't want it to and I hate that it is ringing so loudly in my head now! :(

However, I feel like I wasn't cut out for marriage. Not only am I miserable half the time, I feel like I bring my husband down and that is NOT fair to him! In another post, I mentioned we do not have the large issue items (infidelity, abuse, etc.) however, it's a matter of my deficiencies and unhealthiness. And I know it.

Yes, I've tried counseling. I've been to no less than 1/2 a dozen counselors in my adult life. I've read books. I've done time on meds. I've emotionally and mentally abused myself for being "less than" and I'm tired. I am not sure if it's even possible for my inner workings to be better/different. I think I might be who I am to the core.

This morning (while I won't turn my back on myself and berate myself) I did unfairly ask for support from my husband when it wasn't his job to provide that support. And yet, I hurt because he can't support me the way I need - and I hurt because I ask that of him.

Bottom line. I can't keep hurting both of us. I can save him from having to deal with me. I could save us both but I don't have the courage to do that.

He deserves a simple, easy life... I can't provide that to him! :(

[Partaker of Christ]

Hi Kirsten! :hug:

John 6:68 Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life.
John 6:69 And we believe and are sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living God.

1Peter 5:7 Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

Neither the 'either' nor the 'or' is the answer to your problems.
There is only one answer, and that is the Lord Himself Jesus Christ.

Jesus said: "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life"

Matt 11:28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matt 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
Matt 11:30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

[DaniHansen]

What exactly are you "less than" and whose expectations are you trying to live up to?

P.S. The answer to your inner conflict and seeming conundrum, of course is option c) Neither. :)

[livingwaters]

Are you a born-again Christian? I just need a simple yes or no.

[moonglow]

I thought about putting "Divorce or Suicide" but that sounds much more dramatic than I want to sound! I don't think I could really ever commit suicide. As much as I wish I could... I just know when it came down to it... I'd fail (oh what a reoccurring theme in my life... failure!)

And I really never thought divorce would ever be something that would touch my life personally. I didn't want it to and I hate that it is ringing so loudly in my head now! :(

However, I feel like I wasn't cut out for marriage. Not only am I miserable half the time, I feel like I bring my husband down and that is NOT fair to him! In another post, I mentioned we do not have the large issue items (infidelity, abuse, etc.) however, it's a matter of my deficiencies and unhealthiness. And I know it.

Yes, I've tried counseling. I've been to no less than 1/2 a dozen counselors in my adult life. I've read books. I've done time on meds. I've emotionally and mentally abused myself for being "less than" and I'm tired. I am not sure if it's even possible for my inner workings to be better/different. I think I might be who I am to the core.

This morning (while I won't turn my back on myself and berate myself) I did unfairly ask for support from my husband when it wasn't his job to provide that support. And yet, I hurt because he can't support me the way I need - and I hurt because I ask that of him.

Bottom line. I can't keep hurting both of us. I can save him from having to deal with me. I could save us both but I don't have the courage to do that.

He deserves a simple, easy life... I can't provide that to him! :(

We really need more information before we can offer much help.

Why did you marry him? Did you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him? What changed? What is it you asked him to do which now you wish you hadn't? I see nothing wrong at all in asking your husband for support...that is what he is suppose to do!

Maybe reading some scriptures about marriage would help you better understand each others roles? We could post those for you. Once the husband and wife are doing what the bible says, they are usually pretty content...its when they don't follow those guidelines one or both get very unhappy...

God bless

[Sojourner]

Does this sound like you?

4My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. 5Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.
6And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest.
7Lo, then would I wander far off, and remain in the wilderness.
8I would hasten my escape from the windy storm and tempest.
Psalms 55:4-8

Running away (flying away as in Psalms), divorce, or suicide is not the solution to your problems.

The Psalmist goes on to say in verse 16:
As for me, I will call upon God; and the LORD shall save me.What a tender and intimate invitation to come to himself Christ offers us.
28Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. Matt. 28-29Sorry, I am not a big help.

[ImHe]

Ill probably get in trouble for saying this, but it needs to be said. Your letting satan convince you of depression, you have been given the authority and power by the Lord to cast demones into the pit, stop feeling sorry and stick up for yourself. Divorce is not an option and in this case would not be biblically allowed. As the Army says "be all you can be" Be the most biblical wife you can be and be proud that your father will make up for what you lack that is how Jesus fulfills the law.