My struggle

[motormouf]

I've been a christian for most of my life and I've had struggles like anyone else, but 1 day the devil got me in a massive one that has messed up my life ever since. 1 day i was surfing the net and i was checking up on comics (spiderman , etc) and i clicked on a link for Xmen(wolverine etc). Lo and behold i ended up on a link for porn sites, how did that happen? But i closed it immediately but it was too late and curiosity came in and i went back in to see what it was like (1st mistake)

To make a long story short what followed was years of a serious pornography addiction(watching it every day, sometimes more than once, even before and after going to church).


It got so bad i'd find my self looking at all sorts of stuff ( i shudder to think of what i've put in my mind- thank God i never sank to the levels of gay, animal, child porn etc), learning the names of the performers and the different acts.

Now i'm making no excuses, i always knew it was wrong and would pray for God to help me to stop every day. But it seemed like a whole new persona took over and all my conscience just disappeared until i had my fill. Eventually, masturbation came in and lustful fantasies (some involving my female friends) as well :cry: I felt like a total monster sometimes.
SOmetimes i'd manage to beat it, (once for close to a year) but i'd always fall back. Sometimes i did it as a means of stress relief, or sometimes as a means of making myself fell better from loneliness (i'm single and never had a girlfriend yet, (i think God is keeping whoever he has for me away till i beat this fully in order to protect her) because sometimes when i used to see what was going on i'd think- Why can't i do that and the fear came up that i might sink so low that i might get involved in sins like fornication or even prostitution

But i realised that the devil is trying extra hard to keep me in this, whenever i try to beat it , i'd actually get things out of the blue to try and encourage me to go back in- e.g once whenever i was trying really hard to stop, out of the blue onthat same day, i'd get pornographic emails from a friend who thought it was funny to send me them, not knowing what i'm going thru.

Right now, i'm off- :ppi made a vow to God that i'd try harder to stop, and i'm trying, i've been off a nearly a week now, but the urge still comes and the devil is still trying. Why because thing happen out of the blue that seem too conicidental.One time i was flipping through a magazine (it was about rap music, i dont usually listen to it but i saw something on the cover that caught my eye) and what do i see? an ad for porno dvds, starring an "actress" whose movies i watched alot :o I've even gotten dreams about it.

I really want to be totally free and stay so. So if any of you do not mind,please pray or give any advice. that i dont fall back in and become a slave to this again. The feeling of not doing this is unbelievable- i feel clean ,really clean (you cant possibly know how i felt sometimes going to church after doing something like that, i felt unworthy and filthy and that i shouldnt dare step into God's house)

[andrew_no_one]

You will never be temptd with something that isn't common to man and 100% beatable. You have to see the sin as God sees it, detestable. Lust can easily become and idol but it is never appeased. Feeding it only makes it want more, but starving it will surely cause it to die. With God as General, train your mind like a soldier in battle. Keep your eyes focused on victory through Jesus. In many verses in the Bible it says plainly that the sexually immoral will not enter heaven. I've had to keep this in mind for myself in order to gain victories. The good news is that God is quick to give a way out of temptation to those who ask him. Pray with all your might during times of extreme tempting, and also pray whenever you can about everything!

[motormouf]

You will never be temptd with something that isn't common to man and 100% beatable. You have to see the sin as God sees it, detestable. Lust can easily become and idol but it is never appeased. Feeding it only makes it want more, but starving it will surely cause it to die. With God as General, train your mind like a soldier in battle. Keep your eyes focused on victory through Jesus. In many verses in the Bible it says plainly that the sexually immoral will not enter heaven. I've had to keep this in mind for myself in order to gain victories. The good news is that God is quick to give a way out of temptation to those who ask him. Pray with all your might during times of extreme tempting, and also pray whenever you can about everything!


Yeah im doing that and like i say i see it as detestable, but a part of me lkies it and wants to continue in it. Thats the part that scares me

[andrew_no_one]

a part of me lkies it and wants to continue in it. Thats the part that scares me

Don't worry friend! That's called the flesh! It is in man's nature to sin and that is exactly why we need Jesus to help us!
As Paul says in Romans 7:21-25:
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

I found that in times of extreme temptation you have to fight a great deal at first. Sometimes I've actually had to "wrestle" with my sinful nature and all the while beg God to deliver me! I remember one of the greatest spiritial battles of my life was fought over that exact issue. At the time, I felt like I wanted to commit that sin more than I had ever wanted anything in my life! Satan must have sent one of his top soldiers to lie to me! We must stand firm against the enemy and keep our shield up at all times! God will not forsake us! I am praying for you and will help in any way I can.

[Tonton]

...I really want to be totally free and stay so. So if any of you do not mind,please pray or give any advice. that i dont fall back in and become a slave to this again...

I have two suggestions:

1. Install a porn guard on your PC.
2. Subscribe to the free on-line course at www.settingcaptivesfree.com (they will facilitate a process of cleaning, assist you with the porn-guard, and help you to set up the necessary support system).

Regard your struggle as war against Satan and his underworld. He is trying to take you captive, and if he wins, he has your sole.

You will never be temptd with something that isn't common to man and 100% beatable.

See 1 Cor 10:13

You have to see the sin as God sees it, detestable. Lust can easily become and idol but it is never appeased. Feeding it only makes it want more, but starving it will surely cause it to die. With God as General, train your mind like a soldier in battle. Keep your eyes focused on victory through Jesus. In many verses in the Bible it says plainly that the sexually immoral will not enter heaven. I've had to keep this in mind for myself in order to gain victories. The good news is that God is quick to give a way out of temptation to those who ask him. Pray with all your might during times of extreme tempting, and also pray whenever you can about everything!

Satan hates the sight of light - whenever he places darkness (sin) on your way, "switch on the light" - i.e. invite God. Praise God rebuke Satan.

When I feel tempted to darkness, I pray a blessing to a pastor. Any-one that I know or even heared of. It cleans my mind, and it chases away Satan's demons.

God bless,
Anton

[Slug1]

Yeah im doing that and like i say i see it as detestable, but a part of me lkies it and wants to continue in it. Thats the part that scares meWhen you battle, do you do it with all the equipment Jesus has issued you and also... do you do battle on the ground Jesus has set you or do you stand on the ground satan wants to fight you on.

IOWs, do you fight while still having access to all elements of your sin fully available to you at any time?

TonTon has begun to touch on this... ya need to battle at the advantage... higher ground and that is when you remove or limit elements around you that cause you to look up at satan as he tempts you.

As for the flanking attacks such as with the magazine. Based on what you said, this was a shot from the dark at you... when you go to battle once the attack is evident what do you do? Do you verbally rebuke satan?

[VerticalReality]

Here are a couple common deceptions of the devil that he likes to place in our mind, and these thoughts will come in first person form . . .


1) "I'm addicted . . . "

This comes into direct conflict with God's Word. God's Word says that He has delivered us from the power of sin. If we think we are addicted it is because we are deceived into believing and walking a lie.
2) "God will forgive me anyway"

While our Lord is VERY merciful toward us such a deception of the enemy is what is known as counting the blood of our Savior as a common thing, and it will lead us into judgment, and it will keep doorways for the devil to come in and steal, kill and destroy -- Hebrews 10:26-30; John 10:10
3) "I can't help but sin . . . "

Again, the Word of God declares that no longer will sin have dominion over us (Romans 6:14). Satan's power is in deception, so if he can convince you that you have no power over this sin then you will remain in it. The only way to overcome this sin is to walk in authority over it.
These are just a few of the tactics of the enemy. Remember, sin is not a flesh problem. Sin is a heart problem. Our Lord Jesus Christ said that all sin comes from the heart . . . not the flesh. The flesh is sinful, and there is no good thing that resides there. However, we do not have to obey the flesh. We have the power and authority to crucify the flesh and choose rather to walk in obedience to our Lord. You have to choose, and you must keep in mind that whatever you choose shows what is in your heart. Next time you are tempted do not listen to the devil. Ask yourself who it is that you love. Ask yourself what means more to you. Do you love Jesus, the One who gave His life for you so that you may live . . . or do you love this sin that is only for a moment but will lead you to your eternal death if you do not master it by residing in our Lord . . .

If you abide in Him, and it is in Jesus where your love lies . . . then sin will not have power over you. DO NOT forget that the only power the devil has over you is deception, so be very careful of what thoughts you buy into. Make sure that what is filling your mind is from God's truth. Jesus said that it is the truth that sets us free, so do not allow the devil to have a foothold through deception.

Jesus said that whoever loves Him will keep His commandments. The devil will try to draw you away from our Lord through lies, so if you do not know God's truth you are going to be vulnerable to attack. Get in the Word of God and pray often. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Jesus Christ. Examine every single thing that enters your mind. If it is not from God then take authority over it and cast those thoughts down.

What finally woke me up was revelation on the severity of what I was doing. I finally received revelation that it wasn't the flesh that made me sin. It wasn't that I was addicted. It was that I was choosing in my heart to serve sin rather than the Savior who chose to humble Himself in order to save me. I was allowing the devil to play me as a fool. Instead of walking by faith in love with my Lord I was instead plotting on when I could fulfill the lusts of the flesh once again. Then after I sinned I would feel the guilt and condemnation for a time only to end up doing the same thing all over again.

The only way to overcome sin is for the desires of our heart to change and for the lies of the devil to be exposed.

[Slug1]

The only way to overcome sin is for the desires of our heart to change and for the lies of the devil to be exposed.Amen!


When I began my true battle that led to deliverance from what bound me to my lust... I failed initially by holding onto portions. I confessed some but not all and held some back that enabled satan to retain authority within me. Until I confessed it all to my pastor and friends (other church leaders) was I able to receive what I desired from God and He enabled me to battle on His ground, firmly on the foundation He placed under my feet.

[motormouf]

Thanks, but u know whats funny? this seems to be a bigger problem than i thought it was woth bpth genders. I used to think i was alone in this, but one day i met a friend of mine, female no less and when talking online, she told me she dealt with the same problem and had managed to escape. i didnt even tell her about me doing it.

Btw how open u think i should be about it. Should i take my natural approach and keep this secret until the day i die or not?

[DaniHansen]

Well you have already shared it with complete strangers on the Internet so I think the "supersecret tactics" ship has sailed ... ;)

Can I ask you something?

Do you believe that you died, were buried with, and resurrected with Jesus?

[motormouf]

Well you have already shared it with complete strangers on the Internet so I think the "supersecret tactics" ship has sailed ... ;)

Can I ask you something?

Do you believe that you died, were buried with, and resurrected with Jesus?


True. But as i mean with my fellow friends and christians. I can say it here because the net is pretty anonymous and hte odds of u learning who i am is prettly low

[DaniHansen]

True. But as i mean with my fellow friends and christians. I can say it here because the net is pretty anonymous and hte odds of u learning who i am is prettly low

Well, true repentance brings with it transparency and humility to tell others of our struggles, face to face. I.e. you should probably also discuss these matters with a local pastor where you live or some form of a support group.

You didn't answer my question ... :)

[motormouf]

Well, true repentance brings with it transparency and humility to tell others of our struggles, face to face. I.e. you should probably also discuss these matters with a local pastor where you live or some form of a support group.

You didn't answer my question ... :)


Sorry.To be honest i dont really think about that aspect of it, but i really try to avoid that type of thinking>not that i dont like to identify my self with God. But i like to be a practical down to earth(not worldly), christian so i try not to talk alot about that.

[DaniHansen]

Sorry.To be honest i dont really think about that aspect of it, but i really try to avoid that type of thinking>not that i dont like to identify my self with God. But i like to be a practical down to earth(not worldly), christian so i try not to talk alot about that.

Do you think that the things mentioned in Scripture affect our earthly reality in a practical way?

Maybe it's worth considering that the fact that you don't like to think of these Biblical things in connection with your daily behaviors, may have something to do with the fact that you're struggling unnecessarily with things such as pornography and the like?

Because there are times when 2 plus 2 indeed does add up to 4. :)

[motormouf]

Do you think that the things mentioned in Scripture affect our earthly reality in a practical way?

Maybe it's worth considering that the fact that you don't like to think of these Biblical things in connection with your daily behaviors, may have something to do with the fact that you're struggling unnecessarily with things such as pornography and the like?

Because there are times when 2 plus 2 indeed does add up to 4. :)


Oh when u put it like that sure i do. Some of the stuff that happened to me cant be normal or coincidental. There has to be some deomnic influence in there- the Bible does say in Esphsians that we wrestle not against flesh and blood....

[DaniHansen]

Oh when u put it like that sure i do. Some of the stuff that happened to me cant be normal or coincidental. There has to be some deomnic influence in there- the Bible does say in Esphsians that we wrestle not against flesh and blood....

You are absolutely correct.

Stands to reason, then, if we really and honestly and in reality consider ourselves dead to sin and resurrected along with Jesus, that demons would have no basis to operate on then, would they? Because their power comes from deception and lies and keeping us from the knowledge of truth.

Do you think people that were already dead and have been resurrected by God's Spirit would have better things to do than look up porn sites and being entangled in the guilt and shame of it all?

Think about it ... really, let it sink in and grab hold of the reality of it. :hug:

If you died today and God raised you from the dead by a miracle, how would you live your life?

Think about that.

Then think about the fact that when you received Jesus and entered into His death and resurrection for your sin, that is exactly what happened.

Considering the truth and reality of these matters, how then should we live?

Galatians 2:20 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=55&chapter=2&verse=20&version=50&context=verse)
I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.

Colossians 2:11-1 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=58&chapter=2&verse=12&version=50&context=verse)4
11 In Him you were also circumcised with the circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the sins of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, buried with Him in baptism, in which you also were raised with Him through faith in the working of God, who raised Him from the dead. 13 And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, 14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.

Romans 8:11 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=52&chapter=8&verse=11&version=50&context=verse)
But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you.

Philippians 3:10 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=57&chapter=3&verse=10&version=50&context=verse)
that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death,

Romans (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=57&chapter=3&verse=10&version=50&context=verse) 6:13
And do not present your members as instruments of unrighteousness to sin, but present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

[motormouf]

like i just said i try to avoid all of the high level extremely spiritual talk to me it over complicates things. So while the verses are quite appreciated the make openings to stray away fdrom the point. Thats why I like to stay practical But i'm more or less out now, so the emphasis now is staying out.

Thanks alot though

[DaniHansen]

Well if the Scripture versions (from the New King James) I've quoted to you are keeping you from applying them in a practical way, then I'd suggest you purchase a translation that is going to be highly relatable to you, such as The Message or something along those lines. Because God's Word does carry all the power for us that we need to be free, from any sin that is threatening to take over our lives. :)

[Slug1]

Btw how open u think i should be about it. Should i take my natural approach and keep this secret until the day i die or not?Have you read my testimony linked in my signature, the link in the testimony covers my healing of my addiction to fantasy lust and masturbation. Until I brought my addiction to somebody(s), I remained bound and helpless against the addiction.

James 5:16 Confess your trespasses[a (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=james%205:16&version=50;#fen-NKJV-30365a)] to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

The people I confessed to was my "new" pastor at that time and then with other church leaders who are friends of mine.

If you do read it, true to the Word that the Lord gave me, this June I stand before a group of many people and give my testimony.

[motormouf]

Well if the Scripture versions (from the New King James) I've quoted to you are keeping you from applying them in a practical way, then I'd suggest you purchase a translation that is going to be highly relatable to you, such as The Message or something along those lines. Because God's Word does carry all the power for us that we need to be free, from any sin that is threatening to take over our lives. :)

Oh no i understand the scripture well enough. Its not that part i mean. I got a great Bible which explains and adds notes to the different verses and over the years i've gathered some Biblical knowledge and understanding. Sometimes i have found that some Christians tend to ( in their zeal to sound spiritual) drift off and insert various verses and spiritual speech that kinda clutters the conversation and leads to drifting off from the main purpose e.g-
Q-What's wrong with stealing
the answer could simply be- Exodus 20:15 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=2&chapter=20&verse=15&version=9&context=verse)
Thou shalt not steal.
But some people will fill it in with all sorts of talk about, Dwelling in the flesh and
Galatians 5:1 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=55&chapter=5&verse=1&version=9&context=verse)
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage
While there's nothing wrong with doing it to me it over complicates the issue which could be simply answered and can even confuse :confused or turn off Christians or people with less understanding. No offense to you btw.

[DaniHansen]

Okay then how's this?

1 Corinthians 6:18 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?book_id=53&chapter=6&verse=18&version=50&context=verse)
Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.

Run, run away. And keep running. :)

[motormouf]

See, simple and effective. :DVery effective AND a very useful verse. Once, years ago i found my self in a similar troubled situation and the pattern was the same- commit, feel bad, ask forgive ness, repeat when it arose, feel worse (repeat for several years) I just couldnt find a way to resist it, until God showed me the way out- Leave. So whenever the situation reared its head, i left the area immediately and eventually it got to the point i avoided it automatically without thinking or much struggle and this is how I finally got out.

With this one it was different since the computer was ever-present and often being used but right now i thank God havent done it in close to 2 weeks so i hope that i can continue beig free. If it returns i hope i can get it into practice to turn off the computer immediately as soon as the urge hits

[VerticalReality]

i hope that i can continue beig free.

What if you have already been set free and the devil is only deceiving you into believing that you're not?

[DaniHansen]

With this one it was different since the computer was ever-present and often being used but right now i thank God havent done it in close to 2 weeks so i hope that i can continue beig free. If it returns i hope i can get it into practice to turn off the computer immediately as soon as the urge hits

Take 2 steps back if need be. Meaning that when the urge hits, leave the house, go for a walk, talk to a friend or a family member, find something else to do. Get away from the computer, period. Sell it or give it away if you have to. I'm being serious. Because by just turning it off, you may get bombarded to just turn it on again, so remove it from your sight altogether by doing other things or getting rid of it. Find a friend there with you who struggles with the same thing, and make plans together to support each other. Very often, with the Lone Ranger approach, we make things unnecessarily hard on ourselves, when God has already put people in our lives to help us and support us, all we have to do is open our eyes and be willing to be honest with ourselves and somebody else and find someone we can trust with these things.

We can't do anything about temptation. It's going to happen. But we can trust God to show us a way out, and part of that is to remove ourselves from certain situations that we know are going to be difficult for us, until we get a hold of God's promises and understand that we don't have to be dragged away by these things because Jesus set us free already and is there with us, always. But that is usually a process of understanding who we are, and who God is, and growing up in Him. Because when we become mature adults, we leave childish things behind. :)

[ChristJesusSaves]

:pray:I've been a christian for most of my life and I've had struggles like anyone else, but 1 day the devil got me in a massive one that has messed up my life ever since. 1 day i was surfing the net and i was checking up on comics (spiderman , etc) and i clicked on a link for Xmen(wolverine etc). Lo and behold i ended up on a link for porn sites, how did that happen? But i closed it immediately but it was too late and curiosity came in and i went back in to see what it was like (1st mistake)

To make a long story short what followed was years of a serious pornography addiction(watching it every day, sometimes more than once, even before and after going to church).


It got so bad i'd find my self looking at all sorts of stuff ( i shudder to think of what i've put in my mind- thank God i never sank to the levels of gay, animal, child porn etc), learning the names of the performers and the different acts.

Now i'm making no excuses, i always knew it was wrong and would pray for God to help me to stop every day. But it seemed like a whole new persona took over and all my conscience just disappeared until i had my fill. Eventually, masturbation came in and lustful fantasies (some involving my female friends) as well :cry: I felt like a total monster sometimes.
SOmetimes i'd manage to beat it, (once for close to a year) but i'd always fall back. Sometimes i did it as a means of stress relief, or sometimes as a means of making myself fell better from loneliness (i'm single and never had a girlfriend yet, (i think God is keeping whoever he has for me away till i beat this fully in order to protect her) because sometimes when i used to see what was going on i'd think- Why can't i do that and the fear came up that i might sink so low that i might get involved in sins like fornication or even prostitution

But i realised that the devil is trying extra hard to keep me in this, whenever i try to beat it , i'd actually get things out of the blue to try and encourage me to go back in- e.g once whenever i was trying really hard to stop, out of the blue onthat same day, i'd get pornographic emails from a friend who thought it was funny to send me them, not knowing what i'm going thru.

Right now, i'm off- :ppi made a vow to God that i'd try harder to stop, and i'm trying, i've been off a nearly a week now, but the urge still comes and the devil is still trying. Why because thing happen out of the blue that seem too conicidental.One time i was flipping through a magazine (it was about rap music, i dont usually listen to it but i saw something on the cover that caught my eye) and what do i see? an ad for porno dvds, starring an "actress" whose movies i watched alot :o I've even gotten dreams about it.

I really want to be totally free and stay so. So if any of you do not mind,please pray or give any advice. that i dont fall back in and become a slave to this again. The feeling of not doing this is unbelievable- i feel clean ,really clean (you cant possibly know how i felt sometimes going to church after doing something like that, i felt unworthy and filthy and that i shouldnt dare step into God's house)

:pray::pray::pray:Yes, my dear friend in Christ Jesus, focus on Christ Jesus and you'll have the true victory over the devil's temptation. Jamess 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. :pray::pray::pray:. Remember, Apostle Paul's faithfulness to God, the One True Living God, Christ Jesus, after he was given the grace and mercies. Php 3:7 But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.
Php 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
Php 3:9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
Php 3:10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;
Php 3:11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.
Php 3:12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
Php 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice.
Php 4:5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand.
Php 4:6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.
Php 4:7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Php 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Php 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
Php 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
Php 4:13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

Hope and pray this helps by the power of the Holy Spirit of God. Amen.

with all the kindness and love of Christ Jesus,

Mario Sr.:pray::pray::pray:

[motormouf]

thanks everyone for your help, its been a few weeks and still struggling. But i think im slowly sliding back in im getting urges and memeries of what i saw are flashing back. Im seeinig images of the "actresses" one in particular who had me really "sprung" because she was so beautiful. (by my standards at least) This has happened before and im afraid i'll slide back in:cry: Someone PLEASE HELP, I DONT WANT TO GO BACK, I FEEL CLEAN FOR ONCE IN YEARS.

[VerticalReality]

thanks everyone for your help, its been a few weeks and still struggling. But i think im slowly sliding back in im getting urges and memeries of what i saw are flashing back. Im seeinig images of the "actresses" one in particular who had me really "sprung" because she was so beautiful. (by my standards at least) This has happened before and im afraid i'll slide back in:cry: Someone PLEASE HELP, I DONT WANT TO GO BACK, I FEEL CLEAN FOR ONCE IN YEARS.

Matthew 5:29-30
If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.

If you are being tempted then whatever is tempting you must still be available. Why not just remove the source of temptation? Evidently the computer is a source of temptation for you. Maybe you should either get rid of it, or maybe if possible you should move it to a place that will surround you with other people. Are you tempted to watch porn when you are surrounded by loved ones? The reason you are tempted is because the sin is an option to you. Why not make that option go away all together?

You need to recognize that you are not addicted. You are deceived. The devil has you convinced you are addicted. The enemy works in deception. That is his weapon against us. If you were truly addicted you would never be able to control your addiction. The truth is you can control this. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). If you are not in control of your actions you are not walking in the Spirit by faith. The truth here is that the devil is deceiving you into believing there is nothing you can do about this sin. He is convincing you that you are subject to it. The truth of God's Word proclaims that He has given you, the believer, authority over all the power of the devil and nothing he does can harm you (Luke 10:19). You need to walk in that authority by faith and expose the lies of the devil.

Are you able to control your actions around family? How about at work or school or wherever you are at the time? Why do you think you can control yourself then but you can't seem to do so when you are alone? If you truly had no control over your actions you would never be able to do without porn. It wouldn't matter who was around. When you find yourself thinking of whatever woman this is that the devil is using to tempt you then you need to do as Paul instructs us in 2 Corinthians 10 when he said to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. You need to cast those thoughts down and begin thinking about the Lord and what His will is for you. Seek Him in prayer and worship Him and Him alone. Praise His name and surround yourself with holy things.

The reason you are becoming susceptible to this temptation is because you continue to surround yourself with it. These are all choices that you are making. You are choosing to remain in this temptation, and if you continue to surround yourself with it you are going to fall. You are not addicted. You have the ability and the authority right now to expose the tactics and trickeries of the devil and put on the whole armor of God. You have the truth available to you that will keep you walking in freedom from this fiery dart the devil is shooting at you.

Why continue in something that is just going to make you feel lousy in the end anyway? The devil never wants us to think about the guilt and condemnation prior to the sin, but he sure likes to heap it on us once we have committed it. Stand against his tricks and put on that armor!

[andrew_no_one]

Philippians 4:6 (New International Version)

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I have found that in times of great temptation, it is best to refocus your attention on the Lord. Pray or pick up the Bible instead BUT DO NOT GET ON YOUR COMPUTER WHEN YOU FEEL TEMPTED; NOT EVEN TO CHECK YOUR EMAIL OR BANK ACCOUNT!

[motormouf]

Thanks, when i mean images, i mean memories comig back.Theyre still there

[HisLeast]

Thanks, when i mean images, i mean memories comig back.Theyre still there

Well, as far as my experience goes, that's just the consequence of the action. They don't go away. They get less frequent, and less tempting, but the mind can't erase them. Now that those images are in our heads, guys like you and me must stand vigilant to ensure that when they knock at the door they are not given a welcome.

[Slug1]

Thanks, when i mean images, i mean memories comig back.Theyre still there

Well, as far as my experience goes, that's just the consequence of the action. They don't go away. They get less frequent, and less tempting, but the mind can't erase them. Now that those images are in our heads, guys like you and me must stand vigilant to ensure that when they knock at the door they are not given a welcome.

Me to... I consider it a consequence, so I turn it into focus to fight any failure and that to fail is allowing satan to get back any authority. Kinda like a "thorn" in our side to remind us where we once were. It's a battle wound to remind us what God did in delivering us of addiction and that healing is spiritual in this case.

It's motivation for me as I testify and help other through the BtC Ministry and the images do fade as time goes by and more hear such testimony. The tesitmony of any healing gives glory to God and the damage done will fade.

[motormouf]

Me to... I consider it a consequence, so I turn it into focus to fight any failure and that to fail is allowing satan to get back any authority. Kinda like a "thorn" in our side to remind us where we once were. It's a battle wound to remind us what God did in delivering us of addiction and that healing is spiritual in this case.

It's motivation for me as I testify and help other through the BtC Ministry and the images do fade as time goes by and more hear such testimony. The tesitmony of any healing gives glory to God and the damage done will fade.


Thanks, but you know what i realise its not really an addiction as i once thought. Th reason i did it was because part of me really liked and enjoyed it,regardless of the guilt i felt later and if i tried hard enough, it could be resisted or avoided, as i am doing now. Its just the easy access that i guess made it so simple to fall back into.

[HisLeast]

Thanks, but you know what i realise its not really an addiction as i once thought. Th reason i did it was because part of me really liked and enjoyed it,regardless of the guilt i felt later and if i tried hard enough, it could be resisted or avoided, as i am doing now. Its just the easy access that i guess made it so simple to fall back into.

Thats fine as long as you're not kidding yourself. Anything that makes us shut off all our warnings and conscience... anything that stands against everything our conscious mind finds righteous... all those things are done because the primal, instinctual, feeling part of our brain is too connected with the "good" feelings of the activity. That's the mechanics of addiction... or at least how it starts.

[Metalwolf]

thanks everyone for your help, its been a few weeks and still struggling. But i think im slowly sliding back in im getting urges and memeries of what i saw are flashing back. Im seeinig images of the "actresses" one in particular who had me really "sprung" because she was so beautiful. (by my standards at least) This has happened before and im afraid i'll slide back in:cry: Someone PLEASE HELP, I DONT WANT TO GO BACK, I FEEL CLEAN FOR ONCE IN YEARS.I was thinking, maybe you could give up your home computer and use the one at a library? You could still use a computer, but you would not be alone. It would be in public, and I know most people probably wouldn't want to view porn or masturbate if theres a chance someone might walk up unexpectedly. It would be waay too embarrassing, and if you did it anyway the librarian would most likely throw you out. I think also many libraries have internet filters to protect younger patrons, so there might be some protection there too, if I'm correct.

The images will take time to fade, but I think they do fade eventually. But I don't know if they go away completely. You'll have to try and think of something else when those images come back, probably even go out for a run if and exhaust yourself if you need to.

Also I read somewhere that many of the actresses on those porn movies and mags have either a drug problem, or someone messed with them when they were kids and thats a big reason why they chose that line of 'work.' So some of those ladies are on there because their dad raped them when they were little, so they think that's all they're good for now.

Take care,
Metalwolf

[motormouf]

I failed. Today after close to 2 months i fell back in. Just once. But it can happen again. I've prayed and recommitted my self to try harder. So please pray for me that i stay out for good. One thing i fear is that this will be a constant struggle for my whole life. And i jjust dont want to go back,

[baxpack7]

Don't lose faith bro. Sometimes small failures are followed by great victories, and always remember that God forgives. No matter the severity of the sin, as long as you are truly sorry and repentant, then He is faithful and just to forgive you:hug:

[motormouf]

Its not the severity, i'm worried about, its the frequency- for years i had a cycle- do it, feel bad, pray for forgiveness and ask for God's help to escape, go right back, the next day. Sometimes it go so bad it'd be 2 or 3 times the same day and i'd always pray and ask forgiveness and go back. I tired alot- staying off the comp for as much as possible, turning up the security, chanting phrases to remind me and it'd go good for a while- months even close to a year once, but then-something would happen and right back.
So i'd wonder if God got angry with me going back and just was ignoring mw, why else would my constant prayer (in my opinion seem to have no effect)
This partuicular time was devastating becuae at some point i thought that maybe i was gonna be out for good.

But 1 more this it should have said yesterday- to be honest, a day has gone and i have fallen back yet

[Metalwolf]

I failed. Today after close to 2 months i fell back in. Just once. But it can happen again. I've prayed and recommitted my self to try harder. So please pray for me that i stay out for good. One thing i fear is that this will be a constant struggle for my whole life. And i jjust dont want to go back,Just keep trying, you can do it. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. ;)
What I was thinking of, is you could keep a journal. That is, most people use this means when they are trying to overcome a bad habit, and they are trying to find what triggers, situations, etc., are keeping them locked into this bad habit. Very often, there is a pattern that happens before a fall. Often it's stress, boredom, loneliness, and such that leads into the temptation. This is what some folks do when they are trying to overcome things such as overeating, addictions, and the like.

If this temptation is severe and you have little resistance, you might just have to do the proverbial eye pluck mentioned by Jesus and remove the means of your temptation. Even if it means getting rid of the computer.

[motormouf]

Just keep trying, you can do it. Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day. ;)
What I was thinking of, is you could keep a journal. That is, most people use this means when they are trying to overcome a bad habit, and they are trying to find what triggers, situations, etc., are keeping them locked into this bad habit. Very often, there is a pattern that happens before a fall. Often it's stress, boredom, loneliness, and such that leads into the temptation. This is what some folks do when they are trying to overcome things such as overeating, addictions, and the like.

If this temptation is severe and you have little resistance, you might just have to do the proverbial eye pluck mentioned by Jesus and remove the means of your temptation. Even if it means getting rid of the computer.

That ideas came up and while its a good one, i actually need a computer at home to do research for my job. But, i fel again, i keep away for a few days and return. Anyone reading this please pray for me. I think its not that im stuck or addicted, I realise i CAN resist it fi i try hard enough just pray for the strength for me to stay away when it comes.

[HisLeast]

That ideas came up and while its a good one, i actually need a computer at home to do research for my job. But, i fel again, i keep away for a few days and return. Anyone reading this please pray for me. I think its not that im stuck or addicted, I realise i CAN resist it fi i try hard enough just pray for the strength for me to stay away when it comes.

Bro, you're stuck. You're just stuck in a longer cycle. I did the "I'll just fight harder next time" routine for about 10 years. Each year I'd swear more fervently and make more dire promises about fighting it off. Paradoxically, its one of the things that kept me down in the gutter.

Because fighting it was the act of denying "it". But I never paid attention to what "it" really was. Sure on the surface "it" was an urge to look at porn. Under all those layers though... "it" was something much different than a desire for porn. It was actually a very powerful and very misdirected need to address some major parts of my life I didn't have words for. Over the years, my way of dealing with (or rather anesthetizing) those problems was turning to porn, simply because porn provides one massive dose of "good feeling". It was an outlet. So during the intervals I was "fighting" and denying the porn I was cutting off any form of "good feeling" from my life while consequently NOT dealing with the stuff under the surface of the temptation.

Now, don't take that to mean you should indulge your temptation. But put some thought into what really needs healing in your life. As my therapist put it in our first session together: "When you stop porn cold turkey... where is the energy going to go?"

[lbeaty1981]

You've received some good advice in this thread. Personally, I agree with Slug1 that you really need to talk with someone in-person about this and hold nothing back. One of the enemy's greatest holds on us in this area is the private nature of it. If he can convince us to keep our battles internal, then he can prevent us from receiving the help we really need.

Seeking help online is good, but it won't take the place of in-person, 100% transparent confession and support. I know that in my case, just like Slug1, it wasn't until I sought the help of a trusted brother in the church that I was able to begin the first steps of real healing. Satan loves to convince us that we're all alone in this, or that our sin is so bad that a "real person" would be appalled if they knew the truth about us. Seeing this for the lie that it is is one of the first steps toward recovery. It can be a little scary, but the end results are well worth it. :)

[Tonton]

You've received some good advice in this thread. Personally, I agree with Slug1 that you really need to talk with someone in-person about this and hold nothing back. One of the enemy's greatest holds on us in this area is the private nature of it. If he can convince us to keep our battles internal, then he can prevent us from receiving the help we really need.

Seeking help online is good, but it won't take the place of in-person, 100% transparent confession and support. I know that in my case, just like Slug1, it wasn't until I sought the help of a trusted brother in the church that I was able to begin the first steps of real healing. Satan loves to convince us that we're all alone in this, or that our sin is so bad that a "real person" would be appalled if they knew the truth about us. Seeing this for the lie that it is is one of the first steps toward recovery. It can be a little scary, but the end results are well worth it. :)

Amen! Get a brother as an accountability partner. Report to him daily. Ask him to pray for you. Keep it between yourselves and Jesus. A string of three threads is stronger than one of 1 thread.

Sin is like mould - it wilts when exposed to light (the sun).

Anton

[motormouf]

I ve been away for a while because i fell again and felt ashamed to talk about it but i fell back big time, even tho i know i can resist and have done so, its like something takes me over when it happens and i become someone completely different who only returns when i finish. Please someone pray for me!!!!

[HisLeast]

I ve been away for a while because i fell again and felt ashamed to talk about it but i fell back big time, even tho i know i can resist and have done so, its like something takes me over when it happens and i become someone completely different who only returns when i finish. Please someone pray for me!!!!

This is exactly what it was like for me. "Something takes over".

That "something" is whatever part of you is in serious need of fixing that is currently latched onto porn. I can't tell you what that something is, and I honestly don't think anyone here can either. But you need to start paying attention to yourself to find out. Until you understand the dynamics drawing you to the activity in the first place... until you understand that part of you reaching for it, you're usually just waiting until the next breakdown.

Think of it like wearing fur slippers on a carpet. You're walking around all the time building up static charge, and then trying not to touch doorknobs. You don't want the shock, but sooner or later the charge will be too much or the metal too close and *zap*. Instead, you have to look at the problem (the slippers).

Do you think there could be access to counseling through your church?

[RollTide21]

I failed. Today after close to 2 months i fell back in. Just once. But it can happen again. I've prayed and recommitted my self to try harder. So please pray for me that i stay out for good. One thing i fear is that this will be a constant struggle for my whole life. And i jjust dont want to go back,Do you walk with Christ regularly? What I mean is...do you dwell on the things of the Lord on a daily, hourly basis?

I'm familiar with the porn thing. A lot of Christians are, I suspect. It's highly addictive. I stopped watching it...and even stopped WANTING to watch it when:

1. I found some spritually uplifting music that I listen to regularly.
2. Because I love to read, I started reading pretty much all Christian books (if I'm not reading the Bible).
3. I pray every morning and night.

I basically re-focused all of the things in my daily life toward God. What happened is that I drew Him close and now I feel like He walks with me regularly. If He is walking with you REGULARLY, your mind shifts to Him. The porn craving just takes care of itself. Before, I listened to pretty much all sports radio, I watched any movies and read any books I wanted without caring what they were about, and I prayed sparingly at night. Consequently, I opened myself up to all manner of temptation.

Just try to SEEK God in all that you do on a daily basis and see if a closer, more intimate Walk with Him doesn't help you with this problem. Don't just "try" to not give in to temptation.

[motormouf]

Do you walk with Christ regularly? What I mean is...do you dwell on the things of the Lord on a daily, hourly basis?

I'm familiar with the porn thing. A lot of Christians are, I suspect. It's highly addictive. I stopped watching it...and even stopped WANTING to watch it when:

1. I found some spritually uplifting music that I listen to regularly.
2. Because I love to read, I started reading pretty much all Christian books (if I'm not reading the Bible).
3. I pray every morning and night.

I basically re-focused all of the things in my daily life toward God. What happened is that I drew Him close and now I feel like He walks with me regularly. If He is walking with you REGULARLY, your mind shifts to Him. The porn craving just takes care of itself. Before, I listened to pretty much all sports radio, I watched any movies and read any books I wanted without caring what they were about, and I prayed sparingly at night. Consequently, I opened myself up to all manner of temptation.

Just try to SEEK God in all that you do on a daily basis and see if a closer, more intimate Walk with Him doesn't help you with this problem. Don't just "try" to not give in to temptation.

The thing is, i'm not addicted. i can resist. Sometimes, i actually just went online and did my stuff and never wnt on any sites no struggle whatsoever. Most times i dont even crave it. Other times i go online and the idea pops up and i just go on the sites with no delay, a little theought in m mind says "dont do it," but its like i want to do it and i ignore it. Only one time i think have i ever obeyed that voice.

Why i'm really afraid is that sometimes ideas pop up in my head, When i see the images, i start to think- I want to do that NOW!!!! and all the reservations about waiting till marriage disappear. I'm afraid one day i might get the opportunity to fornicate and because of this filth, i've put in my mind i'll actually do it. Sometimes i dont even think it might be even wrong. I got one unsaved friend who told me that this sorta stuff is healthy, and neccessary since i'm not active and what bad with feeling good sometimes. Usually i don't believe it but all those thoughts come up. (they dont know it was a related subject)

I'm increasingly become open about it tho, in that i think i feel a bit omre willing to go to other Christians for help rather than completely hide it. Hopefully this will work. And i do pray regularly everyday especially about this problem, and i do divulge in christian literature. I need to get into christian music more tho

[Francois Marais]

Sorry to say but your friend was wrong.
It is not healthy. And who am I to speak? I am 28 years old. Single.

[RollTide21]

The thing is, i'm not addicted. i can resist. Sometimes, i actually just went online and did my stuff and never wnt on any sites no struggle whatsoever. Most times i dont even crave it. Other times i go online and the idea pops up and i just go on the sites with no delay, a little theought in m mind says "dont do it," but its like i want to do it and i ignore it. Only one time i think have i ever obeyed that voice.

Why i'm really afraid is that sometimes ideas pop up in my head, When i see the images, i start to think- I want to do that NOW!!!! and all the reservations about waiting till marriage disappear. I'm afraid one day i might get the opportunity to fornicate and because of this filth, i've put in my mind i'll actually do it. Sometimes i dont even think it might be even wrong. I got one unsaved friend who told me that this sorta stuff is healthy, and neccessary since i'm not active and what bad with feeling good sometimes. Usually i don't believe it but all those thoughts come up. (they dont know it was a related subject)

I'm increasingly become open about it tho, in that i think i feel a bit omre willing to go to other Christians for help rather than completely hide it. Hopefully this will work. And i do pray regularly everyday especially about this problem, and i do divulge in christian literature. I need to get into christian music more thoIt's a tough situation to be in when you are single. You are human, and just because you are a Christian doesn't mean that you lose your desire for sexual satisfaction. When I was single, I didn't allow God to dictate anything in my life. I slept around at will and watched as much porn as I felt like watching. The difference between you and I is that you are trying to follow the Lord. Me? Not so much. I spent all of my time trying to ignore the conviction.

The only advice that I can give is to make sure that you are not thinking that this is something that you have to defeat with your own will power. It won't work. You can't approach this as if it's YOU vs. sin and that God is just sitting there waiting to see if you have the will power to not give in to the temptation. You have to hand your conviction and guilt over to God. If you truly want to be righteous in your Walk, He knows that. It's kind of a simple concept, yet it seems impossible sometimes, I know. "Hand it over to God". What does that even mean? It's taken me 20 years to really find out. I've been about the worst Christian anyone could imagine. On with God...then back off, again. Mostly off. I finally accepted the Truth...through God's Grace...that sin is something that Christ has already paid for. I'm not perfect, just forgiven...as the saying goes. Once I accepted that, even though I fall, Christ will always be there to pick me up and wash me off, I was able to clear my heart of the guilt that would accompany my inevitably sinful nature.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not saying that sin is OK. I'm not saying that I decided that I'll just do whatever I want and God will forgive me. The point I'm making is that I quit worrying about sin driving me away from God. I simply decided that, as long as I tried with all my heart, to follow the Lord, I'd just trust that God would lead me. If I sin, I ask for forgiveness with sincerity and, just as He promised, He forgives me. I am able to find Peace this way because I know that I have surrendered myself to Him and don't have to live with trying and failing to be righteous by myself. I don't let my own shortcomings interfere with my relationship with Him.

Again, He knows you're heart and, like I said, you are just one of a BUNCH of Christians struggling with things like this. If you're a Christian and have truly accepted Him, your His. His Grace will always be sufficient for you. Just try to let Him guide your way and, if you slip, go to Him and allow His Grace and Mercy to wash you clean. Don't let the FEAR of sin allow you to live a life of bondage.

2nd Timothy 1:7 : For the Spirit of God is not a Spirit of Fear, but One of Power, Love, and a sound mind.

I actually got that off this board. LOL.

[VerticalReality]

Look, folks . . .

This thing is not rocket science. It's not some deep mystical puzzle that you must solve in order to find out why you're falling to this sin. It's simply the flesh. That's all it takes to sin. You don't have to have some scarred history with deep-seeded issues with your long lost father to have a battle with porn. All that's necessary for making us capable of sin is the flesh we're in and the lack of faith in the power Jesus Christ has given us to walk above it. That's the combination, and that's all it takes.

The problem here is a heart problem. Who do you love more . . . porn or the Lord?

We all have lapses here and there where we are either deceived by the enemy or just make flatout stupid decisions, but the truth of the matter is that we need to be humbling ourselves and asking the Lord to change our heart. All sin comes from the heart. If we sin with knowledge it is because that is what we desired to do at the time.

This is where seeking the Lord by faith and accepting some of that self-control that is available through the Holy Spirit is necessary.

If you really want to stop this sin then . . . well, stop.

When you feel tempted . . . STOP.

When you start having thoughts about porn . . . STOP.

When excuses and justifications start to enter your mind . . . STOP.

This is when you make the choice by faith to step away from the computer and go pray . . . get in the Word . . . seek the Lord for strength . . . and so on.

This is not that difficult of a problem to solve. The answer is really quite simple. We make it a lot more difficult than it has to be. All we have to do is surrender completely to the Lord Jesus Christ.

That's it . . .

That's all it takes. All it takes is knowing the truth and believing it. The truth says that Jesus Christ has given you all the power you need to overcome pornography. All you have to do now is believe it.

[HisLeast]

The thing is, i'm not addicted. i can resist. Sometimes, i actually just went online and did my stuff and never wnt on any sites no struggle whatsoever. Most times i dont even crave it. Other times i go online and the idea pops up and i just go on the sites with no delay, a little theought in m mind says "dont do it," but its like i want to do it and i ignore it. Only one time i think have i ever obeyed that voice.

Why i'm really afraid is that sometimes ideas pop up in my head, When i see the images, i start to think- I want to do that NOW!!!! and all the reservations about waiting till marriage disappear. I'm afraid one day i might get the opportunity to fornicate and because of this filth, i've put in my mind i'll actually do it. Sometimes i dont even think it might be even wrong. I got one unsaved friend who told me that this sorta stuff is healthy, and neccessary since i'm not active and what bad with feeling good sometimes. Usually i don't believe it but all those thoughts come up. (they dont know it was a related subject)
You're simultaneously saying that you "can resist it" and "can't resist it". The truth is you can only resist it for a while. It reaches critical mass and you're back in the thick of it. You're addicted to it. I know this because I was saying the same thing 5 years ago.

I'm increasingly become open about it tho, in that i think i feel a bit omre willing to go to other Christians for help rather than completely hide it. Hopefully this will work. And i do pray regularly everyday especially about this problem, and i do divulge in christian literature. I need to get into christian music more tho
Yes, you MUST get help on this. Find someone you trust in your church, or ask for a counselor and tell them. The reason this isn't magically going away is that you don't understand your triggers and you aren't dealing with the root of the matter. You're just holding off until the next fall. Over the years you keep this a secret, the amount of time it takes to wear you down will decrease, the intensity of material required will increase, and your probability of doing something REALLY STUPID (http://bibleforums.org/forum/showthread.php?p=2067609#post2067609) will skyrocket.

Crush your pride. Seek help.