Am I** the one that's crazy?

[skidmark1027]

Ok, I don't have many friends at all these days - at least no one close to talk to on a regular basis. I talk to God a couple times a day. I also call my parents once or twice a week - they're divorced so that's one call to each parent. I also listen to a lot of radio - I'd rather listen to sermons and surf the internet than hang out at a bar.

The reason I say that is this: The last two times I got upset with my significant others (one recent - my wife, and one 10 years ago who I didn't marry) for not spending time with me they told me that I needed to get some friends and go out and see them.

Well, that's not why I get upset. I get upset because we made plans to do something at a certain time, yet they blow me off. The 10-year-ago relationship blew me off a LOT to hang out with her friends. I got angry a lot back then (maybe I had/have desertion issues) at her for making plans with me, then blowing me off to do something with her friends and not letting me know that she changed her mind. So I get stood up.

Now my wife is doing it to me. This past weekend (our marriage has been 'on the rocks' for a couple months now because she says it has been) my wife told me Sunday morning that she would be back at the house at 3pm after she went to church (50 miles away with her mom) so I could take her car and put miles on it for her. So, I went to a local church by myself and came home and took a nap. At 3pm I woke up, she wasn't here, so I sent her a text message telling her that I'm getting ready to leave soon. I went back to church for a class (taking Dave Ramsey's FPU - great stuff btw) and when I came home at 6:30 she still wasn't here. At 10pm she rolls in and I'm livid.

She can't understand why I'm mad. At 8pm I reset my phone because I couldn't call her for some reason and I got a text that she sent me at 3pm in reply to what I had sent. Her reply to my text was (I'm not making this up): "I won't be there in 5 mins. Still in (town with Mom)....heeeeeheeeee. Hav a gr8 afternoon."

I get mad at her and she tells me that I have no reason to be mad and that I should get some friends and that I'm crazy and it's not a competition between my time with her and anyone else. The night before she spent about 6 hours at a friend's house and didn't come home till 1am - I was in bed by 11pm and was hoping to spend some evening time with her. We had made plans to do something specific that night, but she left before we could do it.

Anyway, she tells me that I'm crazy, etc. for being upset that she didn't come home early and that she had a perfect day that she spent with her mother. I asked her why she did that when she had told me that she would be home by 3pm so I could do what I needed to her car? Her answer: "I changed my mind." I had flashbacks of the same arguments that I had with my SO 10 years earlier. I thought to myself "What is wrong with me?"

I don't mind when women change their minds. I do mind and get upset when I don't get a phone call that says, "Hey, I think I'm going to spend some time with (whoever) for a while. I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you" or something to that effect. I would like an apology for breaking our plans. "I changed my mind" really angers me and makes me feel insignificant.

So I tell her that she really hurt me by not calling and that texting me with that "heeeeheeee" wasn't good enough. So then I get "I'm sorry you're angry." She takes no accountability for the broken promise at all. It also seems to be a very selfish action for her to change her mind without apology, and then to throw the "I'm sorry" back at me as if it's not sincere, which it isn't. "I'm sorry you're angry" and "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and made you angry" are two different things completely where one takes accountability and one doesn't.

So, my question is - Am I really that crazy to ask for some consideration? Could I really just be blowing this whole thing out of proportion? The last relationship where I heard this ended because the woman became too selfish and now this one is heading down that same road.

I have a feeling that had I done the same thing, I would have never heard the end of it.

Thoughts? And please, please be sincere. If there's missing information -something that I may have done - I'll try to supply later. I may have slighted her unknowingly.

I just want to fix this marriage and not have to go through all of this again. It's my first marriage and I don't want it to end. I give myself to the relationship but I think I'm watering a dead tree. :giveup:


Oh, I also asked her if she'd like to go to the open-house week at FPU (which is at 6pm next Sunday). She says "maybe" (which means 'no'). I ask her why she won't commit and she says that it's because it's her "church Sunday" and she'll more than likely spend the day with her Mom. I think she's being unreasonable because church is at 11am, and including a 45min drive, she could spend 5 hours with her mother and then meet me at FPU and then we go home together. But, nope. Not good enough to commit to. So, I again feel really insignificant and unimportant to her. And that could be because I am insignificant and unimportant to her. Just like the marriage. She said a few weeks ago that she still has to "find herself." Ugh...help me Lord!!! :help:

[DaniHansen]

I'm guessing this isn't about your wife choosing to spend a few hours longer with her mom or you being "stood up" in any way. Because the issue, as they say, is never the issue. ;)

The reason I say this is because I've stayed at a friend's house longer than anticipated and all it takes is a quicky phone call to hubby (if he's not working) saying I'll be later than expected and that's it.

What seems to be happing when I peek just below the surface of your post is that you and your wife may not be giving one another high priority in your lives and that there is some insecurity happening as to the foundation of your relationship.

One book I can highly recommend is called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs. It may help you guys clear some things up. It really helped my husband and I understand one another better and work with God on putting our marriage on a much more secure footing.

Cheers,

Dani

[skidmark1027]

I'm guessing this isn't about your wife choosing to spend a few hours longer with her mom or you being "stood up" in any way. Because the issue, as they say, is never the issue. ;)

The reason I say this is because I've stayed at a friend's house longer than anticipated and all it takes is a quicky phone call to hubby (if he's not working) saying I'll be later than expected and that's it.

What seems to be happing when I peek just below the surface of your post is that you and your wife may not be giving one another high priority in your lives and that there is some insecurity happening as to the foundation of your relationship.

One book I can highly recommend is called "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs. It may help you guys clear some things up. It really helped my husband and I understand one another better and work with God on putting our marriage on a much more secure footing.

Cheers,

Dani


You hit the nail on the head. I don't feel as if I'm getting the respect of a simple phone call with an apology. Then again, there's the old saying that one doesn't deserve respect, one earns it. I'm just trying to figure out if I lost her respect or if I just never had it to begin with. I suppose that I am not respecting her as well, however I am struggling to see where that is happening in the relationship - but I bet if I ask her, she'd be able to tell me a few ways. Or not. Lately she wants me to talk to someone else: "Go ask (someone else we work with) that. I'm sure she'd tell you." "I'm not at all interested in what she thinks, I want to know what you think."

Oh well. I'll hunt down the book. I left her a card last night that quoted Matthew 19:3-6 and had my words, "Why are our hearts so hardened toward each other? God doesn't give up on marriages...why should we?" and then in smaller print "I still haven't heard from the counselor. Should I go ahead and call them to set up the appointment or should I just forget about it? It's up to you."

I am praying that she tells me to go ahead and set up the appointment. I would like to be proactive, but I don't want to waste anyone's time - especially if she just goes into the session with the attitude that the marriage is over and done with and there's no reason to put any effort into the session, counseling, or the marriage. She is a psychology and women's studies major and tends to have an "I know it all" attitude toward everything and then she asks a million questions (of which 999,996 are common sense or assumed knowledge). Yes, she really knows how to drive me crazy.

Thanks for the reply! This posting and 'talking it out in my head' is helping a little.

[skidmark1027]

Oh well...she sent off the divorce paperwork on Monday. We're through. 90-day waiting period in PA, blah blah blah.

I guess I can take solace in 1 Cor 7:15. I know I'm saved.

[DaniHansen]

I'm sorry. :hug:

I still highly recommend that book though.

I also recommend that you turn the whole situation over to God and allow Him to bring it to its appointed end, whatever that is. Nothing is over until ... you know. :)

[skidmark1027]

I'm sorry. :hug:

I still highly recommend that book though.

I also recommend that you turn the whole situation over to God and allow Him to bring it to its appointed end, whatever that is. Nothing is over until ... you know. :)

Yes, I agree...nothing is over until God says it is.

Interesting thing is that I asked her a little while ago if she knew she was saved. She said no.

Soooo...maybe God will save her. I pray for that every day. And maybe, just maybe, she'll come around.

I was doing (gasp!) the Love Dare for a while and it worked, or at least seemed to, until we were spending so much time together that I couldn't take the time to read it and continue it...then we had another fight. I got to Day 4, stopped because things were going well, started to pick it up again after we had a slight falling-out and got through day 6, then things seemed to be great. I started to do day 7 and then BAM...huge fight on Sunday and she's thrown in the towel.

I don't know if I should even bother continuing the Love Dare at all. Again, I ask...why water a dead tree? Why trim its branches? Why expect or hope for it to bear fruit? I thought I saw some new sprouts here and there, but I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, thanks again for the book recommendation!

[DaniHansen]

Well, if you're not sure that your wife has a solid relationship with God (or any sort of relationship), then the only thing you can do is focus on your own. Use this time of trial to fortify yourself in the Lord and ask Him how you can be a better husband and disciple of the Lord Jesus. Let her see Jesus in you and love her how God commands you to. Focus on the Lord and let Him make the final decisions. That's what my personal course of action would be. We can't change people. Only God can bring them to repentance. And so the only thing we can do is focus on our own relationship with the Lord and do the things He asks us to do, and worry about the things we can control (which are our own choices and behavior), pray for those around us (and especially our spouse and children) and leave the rest with Him. :)

[Anje]

Well, if you're not sure that your wife has a solid relationship with God (or any sort of relationship), then the only thing you can do is focus on your own. Use this time of trial to fortify yourself in the Lord and ask Him how you can be a better husband and disciple of the Lord Jesus. Let her see Jesus in you and love her how God commands you to. Focus on the Lord and let Him make the final decisions. That's what my personal course of action would be. We can't change people. Only God can bring them to repentance. And so the only thing we can do is focus on our own relationship with the Lord and do the things He asks us to do, and worry about the things we can control (which are our own choices and behavior), pray for those around us (and especially our spouse and children) and leave the rest with Him. :)


Excellent answer. I'll be praying for you.

Keep looking directly at the Son.

[skidmark1027]

Excellent answer. I'll be praying for you.

Keep looking directly at the Son.

Hey, thanks! Her and I had a long talk tonight, and she's still adamant about the divorce. She wants me to seek counseling, so I am. When she said it to me yesterday, I heard her say "You need counseling. We are never going to get counseling together." Then tonight when she literally said "You getting counseling is a start" it seemed like a bright ember or spark that could be the reignition of our marriage. Or at least the possibility of it happening in the future.

Then she yanked out my heart and kicked it like a kid's ball all over the kitchen when after I told her that I heard some hope in that phrase, she re-worded it to make it sound exactly like she said it last night.

Funny thing is that I'd catch her saying things like "I luh....see you later" and I'll say back "I love you, too" because she started to say "I love you." And today when we were talking there was a lot of eye contact. I tried looking into her soul, but couldn't see anything but a ton of bricks. She has really built a wall of anger it seems.

But, hey, thanks for the prayer. I'm praying too. And I'm seeking some counseling through the church with our Stephen Ministries program. I'd like to do that too, someday, so I'm seeking their help now.

[livingwaters]

Praying that God will intervene, as HIS Will directs, and bring the two of you back together in happiness and love...do your best NOT to get BITTER!! See, that's exactly what satan wants...don't let him have the victory!!! Seek the Lord in all of HIS Wisdom and Grace!!!

God Bless:)

[skidmark1027]

Praying that God will intervene, as HIS Will directs, and bring the two of you back together in happiness and love...do your best NOT to get BITTER!! See, that's exactly what satan wants...don't let him have the victory!!! Seek the Lord in all of HIS Wisdom and Grace!!!

God Bless:)

Well, I've been praying on it and I keep getting the message to move on. So, I'm going to shore up any differences we have and just make it easier on the both of us. If God does intervene as His will directs to bring us closer then I will do as He wants. I'm going to continue with the Love Dare. If not for the marriage's sake, then for mine and His will to make me a better husband for someone else.

I bought two copies of the Love Dare book (one for each of us) and when I'm done with mine, where I'm journaling in, I will let her read what I've written - I'm keeping the book for myself, though. I'll start over with the second book when this first one is done - if I'm still around in the relationship.

I've been pointed to look elsewhere to live, though. My father has said that he will help me move to where he lives (in central Tennessee) when I'm ready. I will be ready in late August or early September. By then, all of my medical treatments for my cancer will be complete and I'll be ready to go - both physically, mentally, and spiritually, I'm hoping.

But again, by God's grace alone will this marriage be saved - she's given up completely. And I don't feel bitter about it at all. Just hurt. The enemy has gained a foothold in her, so I will continue to pray for her salvation as well as my own. :pray:

Thanks to everyone for their advice. This has truly been an eye-opening experience. :eek: :o

[DaniHansen]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you have cancer. That'll take a toll on a marriage. I pray you recover fully.

I don't know why I'm saying this but I once knew a couple where one of them had cancer and the other was their caretaker. After the cancer went into remission, their relationship fell to bits because the "caretaker" found herself void of purpose and they both realized that the foundation of their relationship had centered around his illness.

Not that I think this has anything to do with your marriage, it's just something that came to mind, so I'm putting it here. It's just funny that when these things happen, if we don't guard our relationships, they take on a direction that's unhealthy without anybody realizing it before things rear their ugly head.

[skidmark1027]

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you have cancer. That'll take a toll on a marriage. I pray you recover fully.

I don't know why I'm saying this but I once knew a couple where one of them had cancer and the other was their caretaker. After the cancer went into remission, their relationship fell to bits because the "caretaker" found herself void of purpose and they both realized that the foundation of their relationship had centered around his illness.

Not that I think this has anything to do with your marriage, it's just something that came to mind, so I'm putting it here. It's just funny that when these things happen, if we don't guard our relationships, they take on a direction that's unhealthy without anybody realizing it before things rear their ugly head.


Now that you mention it, that's more than likely what happened. She was my guardian angel during my surgeries. When I came out of the anasthetic both times (I had a 14hr and an 8hr one) she was there in the room and was the first person I saw when I came to from the first one.

She said that circumstances held us together. And in the last few months when she told me that she loved me out of the blue, it felt great and I felt that she meant it. Now, her heart is REALLY hard.

I survived Stage 4 cancer that first appeared in the center of my head and jumped to my liver. My doc told me that 50% of the people with this cancer don't survive 6 months. Since the last two PET/CT scans (Jan and March) there are zero tumors in my body. Fully cured thanks to the grace of God. And since I've been living healthy (no more drinking or smoking) they won't come back, with God's grace, that is. I have another PET/CT coming up at the end of this month.

Half of my face is paralyzed. I have scars on my neck, face and stomach. I'm afraid that I will never attract another woman ever again.

The last thing I have to go through in the coming 2-3 months is dental surgery. They took out all of my teeth because I had to get radiation treatments to my head. So, now that the gums are all healed up, they have to shape the bones and gums to make them able to accept dentures. I also have regained some of the muscle control in the paralyzed part of my face so it doesn't droop like it did when they first cut the nerve. So when I get dentures, at least I'll look somewhat presentable...hahaha!

Anyway, she offered to take me down to the hospital for the surgery and I declined her offer. It should be something I can drive home from, but if it isn't, I'll let her know.

So, yeah, she did fill a role as caretaker for a while and I'm feeling much better. It's been a few months since the Chemo treatments ended (they were done in March) and my hair is growing back just as thick as it was when it all fell out. I still have dysphagia (swallowing issues) and eating real food will be difficult when I get my teeth, but life will be SOOO much better once I do.

Then it'll be time to move on, I guess.

Great observation! I'll have to take the time to thank her for being there for me. I still cry about it because (maybe I'm emotionally unstable right now) I had no idea whether or not I would come out of surgery. God had every right to take me and send me to hell when I went in, but he answered my prayers and I am ever so grateful to him for it. :)

I will save up at least $1500 (shooting for $2000) to move out and move on. Just need to really make my dollars stretch. And if God keeps this relationship together, then that would be the start to a down-payment on a really tiny or crappy house...but it'll be OUR house.

Anyway, thanks again for the observation! Answering these posts are becoming my therapy - well, mini-therapy. I still need a counselor. :hug:

[DaniHansen]

It certainly looks like you've both had your share of trials.

Is it possible that your wife has hardened herself on purpose in preparation for you possibly not making it, to prepare herself for a life without her husband? Perhaps not intentionally, but still? I imagine that your illness was a grieving period for her, and that she's still stuck in it somehow? Perhaps she just needs to learn to let go and embrace life, as you have done. Hard to tell with these things and I'm only speculating, of course. Divorce is like a death, and so that would seem a very logical outcome of it all, to some people's thinking.

I find it quite remarkable that you've come out of this with your love for God and for her intact. Perhaps a good course of action would be to ask God for restoration of the things the enemy has stolen from both of you through this, and that only the things God has established, will remain. You know, redemptive praying to a God who can take the most impossible darkness and bring light from it. The God of the resurrection, He is. :)

[Anje]

It certainly looks like you've both had your share of trials.

Is it possible that your wife has hardened herself on purpose in preparation for you possibly not making it, to prepare herself for a life without her husband? Perhaps not intentionally, but still? I imagine that your illness was a grieving period for her, and that she's still stuck in it somehow? Perhaps she just needs to learn to let go and embrace life, as you have done. Hard to tell with these things and I'm only speculating, of course. Divorce is like a death, and so that would seem a very logical outcome of it all, to some people's thinking.

I find it quite remarkable that you've come out of this with your love for God and for her intact. Perhaps a good course of action would be to ask God for restoration of the things the enemy has stolen from both of you through this, and that only the things God has established, will remain. You know, redemptive praying to a God who can take the most impossible darkness and bring light from it. The God of the resurrection, He is. :)

Amen...with God, nothing shall be impossible!:)

Keep looking directly at the Son.

[Diggindeeper]

Skidmark, there is one aspect that I want to concentrate on, and it has not been addressed. You two are a married couple. Scripturally speaking, you two are ONE.

So...why is she going one direction and you another? If she is going to church with her Mom, why aren't you two attending church together?

Any marriage...and I repeat, ANY MARRIAGE...cannot make it if one person is going in one direction and the spouse going in another direction. Is there a reason you have not searched for a church TOGETHER?

In plain English, as long as she wants her way or her direction to go in, and you insist on going another direction, it can't work. You are wanting it your way. She is wanting it her way. And there is no middle ground. You either make up your minds to travel the same direction, or stop trying to make it work. The fact is, you are interferring with her wants and she is interferring with your wants. It appears its an "I want this way", and "Yes, but I want this way" situation, and it should not be that way.

As long as the two of you are going in different directions, you are not traveling the road of life TOGETHER! And the end result is that you travel farther and farther apart.

Now, that aside, a woman just naturally needs another woman's companionship (like for shopping trips to the mall or to Sears or Penneys) more than a man needs another man's companionship. For example, you can't be jealous or envious of time she spends with her Mom. It puts her in a situation where she must choose between her Mom and you.

When I went to visit my Mom (when I still had one), my husband was with me. When he went to visit his Mom, I was with him. Why isn't it that way with you and her?

Do you feel up to the trip to her church?
Are you welcome at her Mom's?
Or will she not attend the church you are going to?
Where is the together part of your marriage?

From where I stand, on the outside looking in, your marriage looks like this:
< < < < < < < < < YOU...HER> > > > > > > > >

It should look like this:
> > > >YOU and HER > > > >walking together through life.

Does that make sense?

Love, Skidmark, is not selfish.

And most important, Skidmark:
Psalm 127:1
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it...

Two people do not make a marriage. It takes 3, the third marriage partner being Christ Jesus. I'm speaking from experience.

[turtledove]

There certainly has to be more of a bond other than this kind of dependency you previously had with your wife in order to keep the marriage relationship alive. Also..and besides this..from what you have shared here it seems that there is a certain pattern which causes your relationships not to succeed and because of that alone..counseling by a caring Christian should help you identify what the pattern is and deal with it.

peace and prayers :pray:

[skidmark1027]

Skidmark, there is one aspect that I want to concentrate on, and it has not been addressed. You two are a married couple. Scripturally speaking, you two are ONE.

So...why is she going one direction and you another? If she is going to church with her Mom, why aren't you two attending church together?

Any marriage...and I repeat, ANY MARRIAGE...cannot make it if one person is going in one direction and the spouse going in another direction. Is there a reason you have not searched for a church TOGETHER?

In plain English, as long as she wants her way or her direction to go in, and you insist on going another direction, it can't work. You are wanting it your way. She is wanting it her way. And there is no middle ground. You either make up your minds to travel the same direction, or stop trying to make it work. The fact is, you are interferring with her wants and she is interferring with your wants. It appears its an "I want this way", and "Yes, but I want this way" situation, and it should not be that way.

As long as the two of you are going in different directions, you are not traveling the road of life TOGETHER! And the end result is that you travel farther and farther apart.

Now, that aside, a woman just naturally needs another woman's companionship (like for shopping trips to the mall or to Sears or Penneys) more than a man needs another man's companionship. For example, you can't be jealous or envious of time she spends with her Mom. It puts her in a situation where she must choose between her Mom and you.

When I went to visit my Mom (when I still had one), my husband was with me. When he went to visit his Mom, I was with him. Why isn't it that way with you and her?

Do you feel up to the trip to her church?
Are you welcome at her Mom's?
Or will she not attend the church you are going to?
Where is the together part of your marriage?

From where I stand, on the outside looking in, your marriage looks like this:
< < < < < < < < < YOU...HER> > > > > > > > >

It should look like this:
> > > >YOU and HER > > > >walking together through life.

Does that make sense?

Love, Skidmark, is not selfish.

And most important, Skidmark:
Psalm 127:1
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it...

Two people do not make a marriage. It takes 3, the third marriage partner being Christ Jesus. I'm speaking from experience.


Wow...quite the long response! Um, ok. Here are my answers:

"You two are a married couple. Scripturally speaking, you two are ONE." - Yes, I know that. She won't accept that. She won't read scripture. She feels that too much "God" talk is a turn off to her. That's all her mom talks about to her - so she goes to church to either find God or to make her mom stop preaching to her about going.

"So...why is she going one direction and you another? If she is going to church with her Mom, why aren't you two attending church together?" - We were. For a long time we went together. For a few months, actually. One weekend, I had stuff to do around the house, so I found a place locally that I could attend while she went away to her mother's church. No problems here. I was fine with it.

"Is there a reason you have not searched for a church TOGETHER?" - We did right after we first got married, but she never felt comfortable at any of the local churches we attended and always wanted to go back to the one her mom goes to. We found a couple interdenominational churches - just like the one she goes to now - in the area, but she felt that they were blasphemous for one reason or another. I don't know what she expects, but it's not Christian, it seems.

"The fact is, you are interferring with her wants and she is interferring with your wants." - Yup. Soundly put. When I got saved, I got saved. I thirsted for the word. I wanted to do more with my walk with God. I never tire of hearing about the glory of God and how powerful His influence is on us. She said she felt "overwhelmed."

"For example, you can't be jealous or envious of time she spends with her Mom. It puts her in a situation where she must choose between her Mom and you." - Um, I wasn't jealous of the time she spent with her mom. I was upset because she didn't respect me enough by letting me know that she was going to spend an entire day and well into the night with her when she said she'd be back in time for us to do something - specifically for her. But that's in the past. :)

"When I went to visit my Mom (when I still had one), my husband was with me. When he went to visit his Mom, I was with him. Why isn't it that way with you and her?" - My parents are divorced (like father, like son?) and live in different states (I'm in PA, mom in TX, dad in TN). And we spent a lot of time at her mother's house. I enjoyed it! I felt like I had family here. But now I've been rejected by someone who used to love me. And now there's no more family at all. At least in that sense. Now I just have the family of my new church.

"Do you feel up to the trip to her church?" - Yes, I always did, except in rare instances when the cancer treatments kept me in bed.

"Are you welcome at her Mom's?" - I always felt welcome. I don't know if I ever really was now. I think her mother resented me for something. Not sure what it was, but I think she may have planted this divorce seed in my wife's head.

"Or will she not attend the church you are going to? " - Nope, she won't have anything to do with my church at all. She's not comfortable with it. Considering how hard she is trying to be a Christian, she's not being very Christian at all.

"Where is the together part of your marriage?" - We used to spend quality time together, but those times grew apart for one reason or another. We'd be in the same apartment, doing different things in different rooms. We'd both take time to walk in and say hello and kiss one another, but at one point she acted like I was bothering her and it just slowly got worse from there. She started to treat me like a doormat.

I realize that I was selfish, and am trying to do my best to not be that way anymore at all. But she's got it into her head that divorce is the only option to make her feel better. She doesn't realize what damage she is doing, but there's no convincing her any different. It's all in the Lord's hands now. Only he can open her heart because I sure can't.

I will still go above and beyond to love her even after the papers are signed, but it won't be returned. That's what she said.

So, I'm convinced that we're through. I've put my marriage into God's hands. It's his marriage now to do with what He will. :pray:

Thanks for your reply!

[skidmark1027]

There certainly has to be more of a bond other than this kind of dependency you previously had with your wife in order to keep the marriage relationship alive. Also..and besides this..from what you have shared here it seems that there is a certain pattern which causes your relationships not to succeed and because of that alone..counseling by a caring Christian should help you identify what the pattern is and deal with it.

peace and prayers :pray:


I agree...I'm seeking counseling now through my church.

Thanks for your prayers. =)

[turtledove]

I agree...I'm seeking counseling now through my church.

Thanks for your prayers. =)

You are most welcome and glad to hear you are seeking counseling through your church..:pray: