*Living~By~Faith*
Jun 7th 2009, 08:32 PM
I guess this is more of a venting post than a discussion.
This past week I began having feelings of not wanting to go camp with my church. I just didn't want to be a burden on anyone, but I never said anything to anyone and yesterday I decided that I'd go. But I was told today that I can't go because I sent my form in too late so there isn't any room left. I feel that I should have been told this as soon as someone from my church found out.
I had pretty much decided that I'd go just to have something to do and so that I could have some alone time with God. But I don't think I would have enjoyed it very much. It will be very hot this week and I was told that the campground would be hard for me to get around on. I think things would have been too difficult for me to have been able to completely enjoy myself. I guess I'm just disappointed since I decided that I'd go and packed my bags last night. I'm kind of wondering if I was given that reason because it'll be too difficult. But maybe God has a reason for me not going.
I just don't know if I belong at this church anymore. I don't have any idea where my place is in this church even though I've been there almost a year. I've tried nursing home ministry, children's church and nursery in my church, but none of them feel like what I should be doing. I also feel like such a burden to the people that give me a ride to and from church.
I have wanted to join the choir and the worship leader knows this. But she has only had a small praise team to sing for the past few months instead of the choir. But she just started the choir back up and pretty much blew me off the other night when I asked her about it. There are a couple of steps going up on the stage and they mentioned fixing a ramp a while back if I wanted to be in the choir, but nothing was ever done about it.
I was also supposed to help with the yard sale and bake sale that my church had over the weekend but no one ever arranged to come by and get me. No one even called. I donated a lot of items to the yard sale and I know it's wrong to feel this way, but I now wish I would have given them to my friends church. They are having a yard sale to raise money for camp. They have invited me to go to their camp so giving them my items may have helped them out.
I've really got to get up enough nerve to check out some other local churches. There is one in particular that offers several classes before Sunday evening services that sound interesting. I was going to the New Beginner's class at my church on Sunday evenings, but they've postponed that class for now.
I just want to be somewhere where I can serve God and where I can fully focus on God. Unforunately I have really struggled with the last part on that at my church, but am beginning to overcome that over the past few weeks.
This past week I began having feelings of not wanting to go camp with my church. I just didn't want to be a burden on anyone, but I never said anything to anyone and yesterday I decided that I'd go. But I was told today that I can't go because I sent my form in too late so there isn't any room left. I feel that I should have been told this as soon as someone from my church found out.
I had pretty much decided that I'd go just to have something to do and so that I could have some alone time with God. But I don't think I would have enjoyed it very much. It will be very hot this week and I was told that the campground would be hard for me to get around on. I think things would have been too difficult for me to have been able to completely enjoy myself. I guess I'm just disappointed since I decided that I'd go and packed my bags last night. I'm kind of wondering if I was given that reason because it'll be too difficult. But maybe God has a reason for me not going.
I just don't know if I belong at this church anymore. I don't have any idea where my place is in this church even though I've been there almost a year. I've tried nursing home ministry, children's church and nursery in my church, but none of them feel like what I should be doing. I also feel like such a burden to the people that give me a ride to and from church.
I have wanted to join the choir and the worship leader knows this. But she has only had a small praise team to sing for the past few months instead of the choir. But she just started the choir back up and pretty much blew me off the other night when I asked her about it. There are a couple of steps going up on the stage and they mentioned fixing a ramp a while back if I wanted to be in the choir, but nothing was ever done about it.
I was also supposed to help with the yard sale and bake sale that my church had over the weekend but no one ever arranged to come by and get me. No one even called. I donated a lot of items to the yard sale and I know it's wrong to feel this way, but I now wish I would have given them to my friends church. They are having a yard sale to raise money for camp. They have invited me to go to their camp so giving them my items may have helped them out.
I've really got to get up enough nerve to check out some other local churches. There is one in particular that offers several classes before Sunday evening services that sound interesting. I was going to the New Beginner's class at my church on Sunday evenings, but they've postponed that class for now.
I just want to be somewhere where I can serve God and where I can fully focus on God. Unforunately I have really struggled with the last part on that at my church, but am beginning to overcome that over the past few weeks.