Smoking again and bitter

[mcnumps]

Hello all, I need some advice and encouragement...about 3 months ago the Lord delivered me from the addiction of smoking. I had smoked for about 17 years, 2 packs a day, and nothing else worked when I tried to quit. I was reading a Max Lucado book about defeating your giants (based on David) and I went to the Lord in prayer asking Him to deliver me once and for all. That was it, no desire to smoke, didn't need a patch, gum or anything else, just quit. Fast forward 3 months, my hubby, who had also quit smoking, fell off the wagon and started up again. He tried to hide it, but of course, I could smell it on him so he fessed up. Once thing led to another, his cigs were here at the house, and Satan worked me over with it (Oh, one won't hurt....:blush:) Well, yeah, one led to two, and here I sit two weeks later, smoking 2 packs a day again. :cry: I'm so ashamed, I feel like I've let God down after He blessed me with deliverance. I don't even want to ask for that again, because I know I don't deserve it. But I still want to quit defiling my body. Then today, my hubby and I were at an Urgent Care facility (he got hurt yesterday putting off fireworks), and I'm standing outside waiting for them to call him in, smoking. Here comes a couple we go to church with, also there for treatment, and so I'm busted. Boy it's true that your sin will find you out. I had praised God in church for delivering me from this addiction, and now I'm so embarassed. They said nothing to me about it, but when I went to church tonight, someone else made a comment, so I know this couple told them what they saw. So now I'm feeling mad at myself for smoking, ashamed that I dishonored what God did for me, and bitter because my brother and sister in Christ gossiped about my problem. :B What would be a good course of action? Should I just try to forgive them and forget it, or should I go talk to them to clear the air? I don't want to resent them when its my fault I picked the lousy things up again.

[DaniHansen]

We all have weaknesses and habits we struggle with, and smoking is a toughie. Although to my mind, it's no different than overeating, or eating junk food or not getting enough exercise or sleep, for that matter.

It's a good thing, then, that it's not the things that we put in that defile us, but the things that come out of our hearts and mouths, isn't it?

We judge one another over a great many things. Smoking, to my thinking, is towards the bottom of the ladder and, while an unhealthy thing to do, not worth beating ourselves (or each other) up over.

Your first course of action, methinks, is to go to God about it, and yes definitely forgive those people, and also let go of your personal guilt and whatever shame you have over this situation. Like I said, this isn't worth judging one another over. And if it's that important to you, then keep seeking God about it and keep working on treating your body better by submitting it to Him as a living sacrifice, first of all. :)

[thunderbyrd]

"so I know this couple told them what they saw" - it's entirely possible that this couple didn't tell them this, maybe this person either smelled it on you or they saw you smoking.

let nobody judge anybody for smoking who hasn't quit themselves. no wait, better put this way: no one has the right to judge you for smoking except Jesus.

[Tonton]

They said nothing to me about it, but when I went to church tonight, someone else made a comment, so I know this couple told them what they saw. So now I'm feeling mad at myself for smoking, ashamed that I dishonored what God did for me, and bitter because my brother and sister in Christ gossiped about my problem. :B What would be a good course of action? Should I just try to forgive them and forget it, or should I go talk to them to clear the air? I don't want to resent them when its my fault I picked the lousy things up again.

Firstly, do not blame your brother and sister - they are also human, and surely, it will have an effect on them if you testified deliverance and then they saw you smoking. They probably see you as a fake. Yet they do not understand what it is to be addicted, and how easily one can fall back into bad habits.

My proposal is as follows:

1. Get your husband on your side. If he doesn't want to stop, he should respect your wish to stop, and encourage you, and make sure he doesn't set you up with temptations.

2. Get your addiction in the light. Discuss it with other Christians, and ask them to pray for you. God knows that we are weak in our flesh, and that we may slide back. It is through interventions like the one you experienced that He forces darkness into light. You didn't think that it was a coincidence that He allowed you to be exposed, did you?

3. Ask God to deliver you from it. He is in the process of doing it, and it is a war, not just a battle. Thereby I mean that you will win some of the rounds, and Satan will beat you with temptation at times - but all in all you must always see it as a war, and fight him (Satan) off again. He will always endeavout to tempt you. Same as he did with Jesus. But Jesus promises that He will not allow you to be tempted beyond your ability, and He will give the outcome with each temptation. (1 Cor 10:13).

4. Always bring sin to the light - even if it is embarrasing.

5. Maybe you should consider leveling with your congregation / brothers and sisters in Christ - instead of gossip, they can constructively contribute through prayer and intercession.

6. www.settingcaptivesfree.com has a great free Jesus-focussed course in setting Christians free of captivity - do enroll - it is worth it.

7. Get yourself a fellow Christian as an accountability partner - one to report back to, to support you, pray for you, and keep you on your toes. Always be honest about your addiction.


Make sure that you direct your embarrasment to the sin (smoking) and not to being caught out. That way your corrective action will be aimed at the sin, and not at ways to avoid being caught...

Anton

[WaitingForGlory]

Hello all, I need some advice and encouragement...about 3 months ago the Lord delivered me from the addiction of smoking. I had smoked for about 17 years, 2 packs a day, and nothing else worked when I tried to quit. I was reading a Max Lucado book about defeating your giants (based on David) and I went to the Lord in prayer asking Him to deliver me once and for all. That was it, no desire to smoke, didn't need a patch, gum or anything else, just quit. Fast forward 3 months, my hubby, who had also quit smoking, fell off the wagon and started up again. He tried to hide it, but of course, I could smell it on him so he fessed up. Once thing led to another, his cigs were here at the house, and Satan worked me over with it (Oh, one won't hurt....:blush:) Well, yeah, one led to two, and here I sit two weeks later, smoking 2 packs a day again. :cry: I'm so ashamed, I feel like I've let God down after He blessed me with deliverance. I don't even want to ask for that again, because I know I don't deserve it. But I still want to quit defiling my body. Then today, my hubby and I were at an Urgent Care facility (he got hurt yesterday putting off fireworks), and I'm standing outside waiting for them to call him in, smoking. Here comes a couple we go to church with, also there for treatment, and so I'm busted. Boy it's true that your sin will find you out. I had praised God in church for delivering me from this addiction, and now I'm so embarassed. They said nothing to me about it, but when I went to church tonight, someone else made a comment, so I know this couple told them what they saw. So now I'm feeling mad at myself for smoking, ashamed that I dishonored what God did for me, and bitter because my brother and sister in Christ gossiped about my problem. :B What would be a good course of action? Should I just try to forgive them and forget it, or should I go talk to them to clear the air? I don't want to resent them when its my fault I picked the lousy things up again.


Psalms 37:24 – Though he falls, he shall not be utterly cast down, for the Lord grasps his hand in support and upholds him.

Thankfully, we have a mercifully Father who knows that we are merely human and at some point we are going to fall. The shame that you spoke of should come into play if you decide to stay down rather than getting back up, dusting yourself off and trying again.

However, during these times of temptation, and they will happen, you need to resist Satan by falling on your knees. Begin by praising our Almighty Father so that he draws near to you in these moments of weakness.

Psalm 138:3 says, In the day when I called, You answered me; and You strengthened me with strength (might and inflexibility to temptation) in my inner self. In addition,
Psalm 91:15 says, He shall call upon Me, and I will answer Him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.

So you see, God also wants you delivered from this addiction and He will lift you up when you need it! Remember, Satan is a liar who comes only to steal, kill and destroy. So keep this in mind when you hear, “one cigarette won’t hurt”! In the event you do fall again, keep getting back up!

Micah 7:8 – Rejoice not against me, O my enemy! When I fall, I shall arise; when I sit in darkness, the Lord shall be a light to me.

Remember, we all fall! This includes the couple that crossed your path at the Urgent Care Facility. You are struggling with this and you need their prayers, not their criticism. Also, I hope this doesn’t persuade you from going to church. Remember, you are there for God, not to impress the people who gather there.

Keep at it and God will come through, He always does!

God Bless!

[mcnumps]

"so I know this couple told them what they saw" - it's entirely possible that this couple didn't tell them this, maybe this person either smelled it on you or they saw you smoking.

let nobody judge anybody for smoking who hasn't quit themselves. no wait, better put this way: no one has the right to judge you for smoking except Jesus.

Well, actually I do know because when they saw me I made a comment to them, "gee I fell off the smoking wagon", and last night one of our other brothers in Christ came up to me and said, "so I hear you fell off the smoking wagon..."

It's still my fault, but I don't want anybody to think I just assumed that they said something, no trying to bear false witness here. But since this other person said to me that he heard what I said, I know they told him.

Yeah, it is a tough thing to break free from, and I wonder if this is why Satan got me this time, maybe I got a little smug about how easily I was delivered from it. Pride goeth before a fall, and I guess I'm getting a little chastisement.

[mcnumps]

Thanks all for your support. Hubby does want to quit too, last night was an eye-opener for him as well. I don't think he ever really thought it was a sin, but he does now, and blames himself for my starting back. I told him though that it's not his fault, I'm a big girl and I stuck it in my own mouth. I guess the reason I'm most ashamed is that I don't want to be a stumbling block for anyone else, and I don't want to look like a hypocrite. I'm still such a baby in Christ, just got saved last November, and I know my fleshly nature still wars with me. I know, though, that God can do anything, and I'm still a work in progress. It's just frustrating, you know? I don't want to let Him down.... :B