Lust and Marriage

[ConservChrist]

I can relate. I've had this same problem since I was eight years old. I was introduced to oral sex at that time. Ever since then, it's been a struggle. I got saved when I was 15. I too, if I go without for a few days, will wake in the middle of the night and fall. As it's been said, it's hard then because you're drowsy and all. I've even at times thought it was a dream. Had to think hard the next morning on whether it actually happened.
One of my biggest issues though is, when I get aroused and "in the mood" I no longer want to stop from doing it. I mean, Before I'm in that state, it's easy to pick up the bible or to pray...but if that state comes upon me unexpectedly, I'm trapped and, although there is a way out, I don't want out. My flesh and mind take completely over and literally, from looking back in my mind, those times are but a fog. Very faint. As though I was barely even there. It's like, when it's happened, a very small voice inside of me will remind me that I'm doing something wrong and that I shouldn't. Then a dominating voice in me will tell me to keep doing it: "Who cares? Too late now, might as well finish. Oh it's not that bad. Just this one time. I've been good lately, I deserve the treat. Why punish myself?"

Guys....is that a demon in me? Seriously.


I can't wait to get married. I know I will stop then. Some people have told me that I won't but, there has been times when I was really into a girl and I stopped completely for the entire duration I was into her. But when that interest or those feelings subside, or she rejects me, I slip right back into it. So if only i could find me a wife, I would be fine. She would be my partner, my accountability partner, my prayer buddy, my companion, and if need be, my wife.

[tt1106]

It will not stop, just because you get married. You can be victorious. You may have to battle all night though. What would be the worst case scenario if you stayed awake all night, not masturbating? Do you think you could go a week on a couple of hours sleep, not masturbating? Claim victory. and be tired. :)
Tired but victorious. Yes, I struggle with this too. I have been awake since 4, not masturbating.
Blessings brothers and sisters.


tt1106

[VerticalReality]

Guys....is that a demon in me? Seriously.

We are always in contact with spirits. We have to discern whether the spirit is from God or not. We must have on the armor of God in order to stand against attacks from the enemy.

Ephesians 6:12-13
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

The enemy is always trying to tempt the flesh in order to draw us away from the Lord and give himself access in to our lives to steal, kill and destroy. He wants to bring about destruction, and when we submit to temptation we are giving him that open door. We must stand in faith and abide in the Lord.

Things to examine . . .

1) How much of your time is consumed by the Lord?
2) What thoughts fill your mind, and when you find things filling your mind that aren't of God what do you do with those thoughts? Do you dwell on them and meditate on them or do you take those wicked thoughts captive and cast them out?
3) What sort of bait do you freely allow the enemy to draw you in with? For example, how many movies are you watching with ungodly things in it? Just a glimpse of a sexual sort of situation or nudity can serve as temptation or motivation to go further. As Jesus said, if the hand causes you to sin . . . cut it off. Obviously, it wouldn't be a great thing to literally chop your own hand off. However, if something causes you to be tempted it would be best to totally cut that particular thing off from your life all together so it no longer serves as a point of temptation.

We have to always be vigilant and discern when the enemy is trying to use something to get to us. This takes us sharpening/exercising these "skills" and growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord.

[HisLeast]

I can't wait to get married. I know I will stop then. Some people have told me that I won't but, there has been times when I was really into a girl and I stopped completely for the entire duration I was into her. But when that interest or those feelings subside, or she rejects me, I slip right back into it. So if only i could find me a wife, I would be fine. She would be my partner, my accountability partner, my prayer buddy, my companion, and if need be, my wife.

It will not stop when you get married, especially if you don't know the underlying causes and triggers of your temptations (hint: its not always sexual).

The reason it will not stop when you get married is that you're currently training yourself to get satisfaction when you want it. As soon as your triggers are struck, you're going to want it. You can get it from your wife... maybe... if the right circumstances are there. Or you can get it from p0rn and self satisfaction. Your subconscious, like lightning, will seek the shortest path to ground.

[Slug1]

I cut all this from the other thread cause it began to take the focus away from the other OPer.

My comment for this new OP... getting married will not get rid of an addiction. Getting rid of the addiction, get's rid of it usually by first removing elements, hurts, unforgiveness etc that led to the addiction.

The whole time you were with that "girl" and not married, all you did was trade one Sexual Immoral act for another... you didn't get rid of anything, all you did was alter the method of sin.

[ConservChrist]

I cut all this from the other thread cause it began to take the focus away from the other OPer.

My comment for this new OP... getting married will not get rid of an addiction. Getting rid of the addiction, get's rid of it usually by first removing elements, hurts, unforgiveness etc that led to the addiction.

The whole time you were with that "girl" and not married, all you did was trade one Sexual Immoral act for another... you didn't get rid of anything, all you did was alter the method of sin.


Oh okay. I didn't mean to take away from the OPer.

Um but I didn't mean that the girl and I did anything. We didn't. We kept very pure in thought and action. What I mean is this, like, I found a girl who I was interested in. From that point on, out of respect for her, I wouldn't lust, look at things on the internet, or anything sexual. Literally. I didn't have the desire to even remotely think of sinning sexually, with her or alone. I don't know. It just, went away when I found myself really liking a girl. There was this one girl who was into me and I her and she promised herself to me and etc. And we liked each other for about three months like that, and not once did I sin. I didn't lust, OR even look at other girls. I had no interest in other girls or in sex or anything. My interest was in her, as a person, not as a sexual possibility.
I don't want you guys to think me and any girl I've ever been with have sinned sexually. Because I haven't. Thankfully. I mean, I've been in situations with girls where it could have gone that way, but we caught ourselves, prayed and repented. What I'm saying is, sex just wasn't the first thing on my mind. But after the girl and I broke it off, i went back into my old ways. I hate it.
Just recently I met a girl who I was into. And I decided to pursue her. For the duration of the time I was pursuing I was keeping pure....easily. But when she said she wasn't into me and thought of me only as a friend, I went back into it. It's almost like I'm using these sexual chains as a means to fill the hole in my heart and in my life that only a girlfriend or wife can fill...and I don't mean only sexually.

[amazzin]

Oh okay. I didn't mean to take away from the OPer.

Um but I didn't mean that the girl and I did anything. We didn't. We kept very pure in thought and action. What I mean is this, like, I found a girl who I was interested in. From that point on, out of respect for her, I wouldn't masturbate, lust, look at p0rn, or anything sexual. Literally. I didn't have the desire to even remotely think of sinning sexually, with her or alone. I don't know. It just, went away when I found myself really liking a girl. There was this one girl who was into me and I her and she promised herself to me and etc. And we liked each other for about three months like that, and not once did I sin. I didn't lust, OR even look at other girls. I had no interest in other girls or in sex or anything. My interest was in her, as a person, not as a sexual possibility.
I don't want you guys to think me and any girl I've ever been with have sinned sexually. Because I haven't. Thankfully. I mean, I've been in situations with girls where it could have gone that way, but we caught ourselves, prayed and repented. What I'm saying is, sex just wasn't the first thing on my mind. But after the girl and I broke it off, i went back into my old ways. I hate it.
Just recently I met a girl who I was into. And I decided to pursue her. For the duration of the time I was pursuing I was keeping pure....easily. But when she said she wasn't into me and thought of me only as a friend, I went back into it. It's almost like I'm using masturbation as a means to fill the hole in my heart and in my life that only a girlfriend or wife can feel...and I don't mean only sexually.

I'd like to talk with you in private. Can you please start a thread in Chat to Mods

Thanks

[The Mighty Sword]

I can relate. I've had this same problem since I was eight years old. I was introduced to oral sex at that time. Ever since then, it's been a struggle. I got saved when I was 15. I too, if I go without for a few days, will wake in the middle of the night and fall. As it's been said, it's hard then because you're drowsy and all. I've even at times thought it was a dream. Had to think hard the next morning on whether it actually happened.
One of my biggest issues though is, when I get aroused and "in the mood" I no longer want to stop from doing it. I mean, Before I'm in that state, it's easy to pick up the bible or to pray...but if that state comes upon me unexpectedly, I'm trapped and, although there is a way out, I don't want out. My flesh and mind take completely over and literally, from looking back in my mind, those times are but a fog. Very faint. As though I was barely even there. It's like, when it's happened, a very small voice inside of me will remind me that I'm doing something wrong and that I shouldn't. Then a dominating voice in me will tell me to keep doing it: "Who cares? Too late now, might as well finish. Oh it's not that bad. Just this one time. I've been good lately, I deserve the treat. Why punish myself?"

Guys....is that a demon in me? Seriously.


I can't wait to get married. I know I will stop then. Some people have told me that I won't but, there has been times when I was really into a girl and I stopped completely for the entire duration I was into her. But when that interest or those feelings subside, or she rejects me, I slip right back into it. So if only i could find me a wife, I would be fine. She would be my partner, my accountability partner, my prayer buddy, my companion, and if need be, my wife.

Sounds to me like a generational curse, deliverance might be the way for you to go. It's a stronghold that won't easily let go, an addiction if you will. That's just my opinion.

[thunderbyrd]

"Guys....is that a demon in me? Seriously."

it is not a demon in you. it is a behaviour that the devil has taught to your flesh.