Prayers and encouragment needed..

[moonglow]

I am just really bummed that Nate will be starting school soon. I am so tired of the constant stress when he is in school...its gotten where I just have a really bad attitude towards school. :( Part of the problem is Nate and his anxiety over starting a new school (going to middle school this year) though right now he seems calmer about it...but the first month of so of any school year is always hard on him. He has never done well with change and whenever he has to move up in grades and go to another school that gets so much worse. Plus his schedule is extremely confusing for this coming year. Instead of having set times everyday for each class they switch it around. Like some days the morning classes will be in the afternoon...afternoon classes in the morning...back and forth like that. I think its absurd they do this but the reasoning for it is some kids learn better in the morning or afternoons...this way they have a chance to have this class in the morning and afternoons.

The lunch thing is different too...I can't even explain that because I forgot everything the principle told us in early June about it...:rolleyes:

I am very tired of Nate having to deal with not very nice teachers and the stress of my having to deal with them.

Plus also the middle school pushes alot of extra school stuff like sports and music and the principle said to expect your children's schedule to get much busier. Well I am disabled...my back hurts most of the time and some days when my neck is out I am miserable and dizzy and just dealing with homework is about all I can handle...not running Nate to after school stuff all the time. Then trying to get him to do homework when he is tired. We are pretty much homebodies and neither of us like running alot.

I am feeling upset and anxious about the whole thing...:( So far though I don't have him signed up for anything other then his regular classes...I think school work should come first. The principle talked about how yes it can be hard on the kids trying to get their homework done around these other things...:eek: I think that is just nuts! These extra other things would just add stress to his life...he has an anxiety disorder and does ok most of the time IF he isn't overwhelmed. So the last thing I want to do is have him do alot of extra after school stuff. I don't understand why they push this if it stresses the kids out and does nothing to help them get a good job or career later in life.

Anyway this week I have to enroll him. So far I haven't even filled out the paper work...I so dread it!

I also realize some of my emotions on this could be hormonal right now too...going through menopause is NO fun let me tell you...ugh!

Anyway prayers...comforting words appreciated! And also can you pray for my back..its really been hurting alot lately. Haven't been able to get into the chiropractor for awhile due to insurance stuff....thanks.

God bless

[Diggindeeper]

Julie, part of the problem is, I think, that Nate is normal in one big way...lots (if not most) kids claim they DREAD school starting each year.

And, my own grandchildren, I've noticed, get all nervous at the prospect of moving on up to MIDDLE SCHOOL! They know it will be so, SO different, and fear of the unknown makes them somewhat apprehensive too. Just like Nate. And they don't have lots of the issues that Nate has dealt with for so long.

So you need to understand that Nate's apprehension is quite normal for his age. But...on the other hand, Nate had never been away to church camp, and he did really well at adjusting to that! It even turned out that he liked it!

Encourage Nate to be proud that he is growing up. From here on, Nate will see lots of change coming in his life...for example:

1- First, here comes Middle School on the horizon. He is (of course) apprehensive. But then, most all kids are....they have outgrown ELEMENTARY school, and are being forced to go on to another stage in life.

2- After what? Three years of Middle School...along will come High School! A really big change to encounter!

3- Along with High School comes things like Driver's Ed! Imagine that. Nate behind the wheel of a car, learning how to drive!

4- Nate will start to notice GIRLS ~ and want to ask someone out once in a while, but that takes money.

5- Also along with High School will come the question of Can I find a part-time job and work a few hours a week to get some money that I want? And still keep my grades up?

Believe me, this (starting Middle School) is the first of many changes that any kid must face! My own granddaughter who turned 12 years old last week told me, "I'm kinda nervous about turning 12 years old."

I asked, "Why are you nervous about THAT!"

And Julie, she said, "Well...I still feel like I'm the same little kid, but I'm ALMOST A TEENAGER, Mamaw! And its scarey."

And I looked at her standing there by me, AS BIG AS I AM! And I told her, "Sweetie, you are NOT the same little kid. You are growing up!"

But see, to her...that is scary. I assure you, both Nate AND my granddaughter are starting to GRADUALLY, a little at a time, untie the apron strings that tie them to us. (Like when Nate went off to camp....I bet you wondered if he would make it okay. I did when mine first went off to camp!)

But more and more, a little at a time, they WILL start to be independent.

And that's a good thing. Try to teach him that he needs to become independent. To stand on this own two feet. To make good, grownup decisions.

Because, like it or not, like my granddaughter....Nate IS growing up! Help him do that, Julie. Encourage him to understand that lots of his problems can be avoided if he can learn to make grownup decisions, and leave the impulsiveness of childhood behind. Try to make a few good friends, by being a friend to them...try not to get all upset if things don't go his way...try not to get all hyper or hostile to other kids or a teacher, even if they don't seem to be siding with him or something like that. Try to learn to turn and walk away, and let it go.

Not just Nate, but all our kids need to learn to accept that they ARE growing up, and that with growing up comes consequenses of actions. He (like my granddaugher!) wants you and me to sympathize with their insecurities...but we are to encourage them to grow up and face it.

The time comes when we can't do it all for them.

[moonglow]

Thanks Diggin...I know you are right and he is becoming more independant. But what complicates things is for instance, he does have ADHD and a learning disability so does have an IEP with the school...so I have meetings to go to on that and make sure they are following his IEP.. I realize he is nervous just like all the other kids...but for him it goes beyond that and has every years. Alot of tears, alot of frustration in figuring out the routine...he needs help with remembering, organizing things and they said they have got to be very organized because its impossible to take everything in their backpacks to each class...and only have four minutes between classes to use the restroom, go to the lockers ...many times no time to go to the locker so they have to think ahead of what materials they need for upcoming classes...that kind of thing.

Nate usually has to have alot of help with these things..its part of his LD problem and I am usually sending out emails or making phone calls so they know what is going on to help him. Once he finally 'gets it' things settle down but the strain is very hard on me. He isn't sleeping, having nightmares, upset at school cause he has panic attacks...sometimes throws up before going to school...these aren't normal before school nerves...this goes on for a month or two after school starts...:(

(the post froze up for some reason...wasn't done posting but had to submit it to get it to work).

On top of all of this the LACK of understanding by many teachers when it comes to learning disabilities and anxiety disorders in children just adds horribly to the problems...to the stress level. At times I am SO angry at their lack of even trying to understand..their lack of compassion, that its all I can do to contain that and remain civil...

So please, please pray he has good support this years and gets the help he needs! thanks!

God bless

[Diggindeeper]

I know its worse with Nate with his complications, but I guess I would suggest that he needs to understand he can't use any of these as a crutch or as an escape pattern.

He needs to know that you can see through any of these things that he can use to stay away from school or from doing some things that he must do. And I'm sure you can, by now, see through things he is trying to do to keep from facing things. (My own kids tried some stunts like that, but we Moms have a built-in radar for times like that, I believe.) Just don't over symphathize with him. Now as well as later in life, he will have to face unpleasant situations. Like we all do.

And you won't always be there to help him get through.

[moonglow]

I know its worse with Nate with his complications, but I guess I would suggest that he needs to understand he can't use any of these as a crutch or as an escape pattern.

He needs to know that you can see through any of these things that he can use to stay away from school or from doing some things that he must do. And I'm sure you can, by now, see through things he is trying to do to keep from facing things. (My own kids tried some stunts like that, but we Moms have a built-in radar for times like that, I believe.) Just don't over symphathize with him. Now as well as later in life, he will have to face unpleasant situations. Like we all do.

And you won't always be there to help him get through.

Actually he doesn't use those things to avoid school...he goes anyway. He never says he doesn't want to go to school.

He only missed a few days last year when he was running a fever. I never said he used these to get out of going to school or doing school work. I think you are misunderstanding my whole post...