Proverbs 31:10-31 - The Virtuous Wife

[Momof5]

This thread is not intended to be a debate thread but a discussion of Biblical principles.:)

We have been discussing this in our Godly Wives small groups for the past year or so and would like to bring this to the public women's forum to edify and benefit us all.

We will go verse-by-verse and take a look at what it means, how we apply these things to our lives, cross-reference Scripture, etc.

When I first read this passage, I was horrified....how could I EVER be this woman. I was comforted to know that this is an ideal and she did not do this all in one day (I hope) - more than likely some things are different seasons of this woman's life.

I pray the Lord will guide us and direct us in this discussion!:hug:

[Momof5]

I read this passage in 4 different versions:

KJV and NKJV said "virtuous wife." Virtuous means righteous, upright, dutiful

NASB said "worthy woman." Worthy means meriting or deserving - valuable

NIV said "noble woman." Noble means excellent, honorable, worthy, righteous, fine.

So, here we go:

NKJV Proverbs 31

10) Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

[Diggindeeper]

I find it interesting that a man who was referred to as the wisest man who ever lived would ask the question: Who can find a virtuous woman? Solomon became a womanizer in the worst way.
Here's what the Bible says of Solomon:

1 Kings 11:1-4
1 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites:

2 Of the nations concerning which the LORD said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.

3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.

4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.

Verse 6
And Solomon did evil in the sight of the LORD, and went not fully after the LORD, as did David his father

9-10
And the LORD was angry with Solomon, because his heart was turned from the LORD God of Israel, which had appeared unto him twice,

10 And had commanded him concerning this thing, that he should not go after other gods: but he kept not that which the LORD commanded.

But, Solomon ends up asking, "Who can find a virtuous woman?"

I can't help but wonder...what might have happened if King Solomon had found one, just ONE, good, decent, God-fearing, chaste woman! A woman that he could trust. A woman who might have said, "Solomon, you are the king and you have every right to rule over me. But Solomon, please don't ask me to go and become part of your harem. God would be very displeased with that."

Mom of 5, the dictionary I use adds one more word to the definition, and that word is chaste.

We can only guess how different Solomon may have turned out, in his old age, if he had found just one virtuous, chaste woman. Because it was women who turned away his heart from God!

[flybaby]

I see two key words here, virtuous and rubies.

I found virtuous mentioned in the book of Ruth, wow, what a woman!! That is a great study all in itself, so I'll just say for anyone not familiar with the story, take an hour and read the book. Incredible!!!

Another verse I found virtuous is really an interesting verse. It's also found in Proverbs and says:

Prov 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

So we have a virtuous woman on one hand and rottenness on the other. What a contrast! We can choose to be a crown on our husband's head - someone that when people look at our husband's they see a kingly guy, not necessarily by what kind of guy he is, but because we are the virtuous woman we are supposed to be and hold him in the highest regard and bring upon him a kingly crown.

Or, we as women can choose (and we so often do, ladies) to be that rottenness in his bones, just the little nagging, "Why hasn't the trash been taken out?" "Can't you spend more time with the kids?" "I just want you to be the spiritual leader in our home." and on the nagging goes. We cut him down as a husband, as a man, as a father. We send messages to him in our simple questions that we don't trust him and his judgment. We are to him the rot in his bones.

We don't want to be like that, we want to be virtuous b/c a virtuous wife is far above rubies, not even any comparison, just so far above!!!

I found two verses that showed wisdom as above rubies.

Prov 8:11 For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.

Job 28:18 No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: for the price of wisdom is above rubies.

So, when we are virtuous, we are then compared to wisdom - above rubies.

We a lot of the time think that we know better than our husband how things should be done (and many times we do), but would it really be so hard to just let our husbands make the choice, to hold our peace and show our wisdom by not speaking?? I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open our mouths and remove all doubt."

I know this is probably one of the hardest areas for me. I tend to just want to blurt it out. After all, I was a preacher's daughter, don't I know better than he does what that passage is talking about?? I don't even give him a chance sometimes to be the man and leader that he can be. I criticize rather than being thankful. These are the things that I'm working on and so I wanted to share them here and found this to be a good place. I'm really looking forward to this study and all the great things that are going to be shared.

[miepie]

I agree with you both. I have noticed that not saying what he does wrong but complimenting him on the things he does and say on a regular basis how thankful I am for his work, improved our relationship a lot...... it seemed to be difficult at first not to have comment on how he did the housework.... and he got the feeling that "no matter what I do, it is never good enough"..... Now I don't do that anymore, it first was a learning process, now it goes automatically, but compliment on the things that he does do right, he has more pleasure in doing things and does more than he did before..... :)

I found more verses:

Proverbs 8:11
For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.

Proverbs 20:15
There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.

It is clear that ruby is compared to wisdom all throughout the Bible. No wonder that they use this word for the perfect wife, which I will never be......

This is what I found in the Bible Knowledge Commentary:
A long and fruitful life is expressed in the figure of a tree. Much as the tree of life was a source of life, so wisdom is a source of life.

Jesus is also referred to as the Tree of Life....... :hmm:

Proverbs 3:19-20
The Lord by wisdom founded the earth;
By understanding He established the heavens;
[20] By His knowledge the depths were broken up,
And clouds drop down the dew.

Bible Knowledge Commentary: When God created the world, He used wisdom understanding, and knowledge. If God needed these, then certainly people need them.

Something to think about.....

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[judi<>><]

As I was reading Proverbs 8 last night -- looking at that rubies verse --this struck me:
Proverbs 8:10-11:
Choose my instruction instead of silver,
knowledge rather than choice gold,
for wisdom is more precious than rubies,
and nothing you desire can compare with her.

And this started playing in my mind:
Lord, You are more precious than silver;
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds;
and nothing I desire compares with You.

Amazing to me. We then should view ourselves not as emulating the Proverbs 31 woman... but as seeking to emulate the God that she emulated!

[Momof5]

Amazing to me. We then should view ourselves not as emulating the Proverbs 31 woman... but as seeking to emulate the God that she emulated!

Absolutely! She has the knowledge of God and is a picture of wisdom in action.

Proverbs 2:3-6

3) Yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding,

4) If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures;

5) Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, And find the knowledge of God.

[Karrietex]

Diggin...

Good point that! I am wondering if he did find that one women when you read Song of Solomon?

[Karrietex]

I see two key words here, virtuous and rubies.

I found virtuous mentioned in the book of Ruth, wow, what a woman!! That is a great study all in itself, so I'll just say for anyone not familiar with the story, take an hour and read the book. Incredible!!!

Another verse I found virtuous is really an interesting verse. It's also found in Proverbs and says:

Prov 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.

So we have a virtuous woman on one hand and rottenness on the other. What a contrast! We can choose to be a crown on our husband's head - someone that when people look at our husband's they see a kingly guy, not necessarily by what kind of guy he is, but because we are the virtuous woman we are supposed to be and hold him in the highest regard and bring upon him a kingly crown.

Or, we as women can choose (and we so often do, ladies) to be that rottenness in his bones, just the little nagging, "Why hasn't the trash been taken out?" "Can't you spend more time with the kids?" "I just want you to be the spiritual leader in our home." and on the nagging goes. We cut him down as a husband, as a man, as a father. We send messages to him in our simple questions that we don't trust him and his judgment. We are to him the rot in his bones.

We don't want to be like that, we want to be virtuous b/c a virtuous wife is far above rubies, not even any comparison, just so far above!!!

I found two verses that showed wisdom as above rubies.

Prov 8:11 For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it.

Job 28:18 No mention shall be made of coral, or of pearls: for the price of wisdom is above rubies.

So, when we are virtuous, we are then compared to wisdom - above rubies.

We a lot of the time think that we know better than our husband how things should be done (and many times we do), but would it really be so hard to just let our husbands make the choice, to hold our peace and show our wisdom by not speaking?? I believe it was Abraham Lincoln who said "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open our mouths and remove all doubt."

I know this is probably one of the hardest areas for me. I tend to just want to blurt it out. After all, I was a preacher's daughter, don't I know better than he does what that passage is talking about?? I don't even give him a chance sometimes to be the man and leader that he can be. I criticize rather than being thankful. These are the things that I'm working on and so I wanted to share them here and found this to be a good place. I'm really looking forward to this study and all the great things that are going to be shared.


I have to agree with you on this. On another board we were talking about submitting to our husbands. The non-Christians did not understand how a woman can be submissive to her husband but you have hit the nail on the head. Respecting him by allowing him to be the head is awesome for his self esteem and allows him to grow both spiritually and emotionally. It shows our wisdom in having faith in GOD and in our mates.

[Karrietex]

Mieke,

We are created in His image including the emotions and mental abilities that He has. I was in a small tiff with the dear one and now I am starting to feel a bit bad for being stubborn and maintaining no contact with him in any form until he comes around.

Who am I to be so ugly and make it worse when I can be forgiving and realize that if I uplift him even when I tell him I hurt that it will go better and growth will begin again.

[Momof5]

I have to agree with you on this. On another board we were talking about submitting to our husbands. The non-Christians did not understand how a woman can be submissive to her husband but you have hit the nail on the head. Respecting him by allowing him to be the head is awesome for his self esteem and allows him to grow both spiritually and emotionally. It shows our wisdom in having faith in GOD and in our mates.

I knew this topic was bound to come up.:lol:

Genesis 3:16 - To the woman He said: "I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you."

From that time we, as women, wanted to control and dominate our men and men want to lord it over us instead of doing this:

Philippians 2 - 3) Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. 4) Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.

That certainly applies to marriages, doesn't it?

This is what God says we are to do:

Ephesians 5

21) submitting to one another in the fear of God.

22) Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord,

23) For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

24) Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

25) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

26) that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,

27) that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.

28) So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.

29) For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.

30) For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones.

31) For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.

32) This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33) Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

People not understanding submission do not see that men play a part also.

[Karrietex]

"People not understanding submission do not see that men play a part also."

You are so right. They see submission as being subservient to a man. How do you explain that it's not that. It's all about trusty your husband to do what is right in God. AHHH, but you have to be a Godly couple and there is the crutch of it all.

[kayte]

I read this passage in 4 different versions:

KJV and NKJV said "virtuous wife." Virtuous means righteous, upright, dutiful

NASB said "worthy woman." Worthy means meriting or deserving - valuable

NIV said "noble woman." Noble means excellent, honorable, worthy, righteous, fine.

So, here we go:
I'm thinking about examples of wives in my own life as I grew up. My mom was this kind of wife. She was virtuous. She was always dressed modestly, she always presented herself as an upright person. She was dutiful toward my dad, honoring him. He was a strong man and you could always see that he was proud to have her 'on his arm'.

When my mom died, he married again. She also is a modest woman in appearance, but has a problem with always making little digs at him and argueing over silly things. He being a strong man will get angry (quietly... not saying a word) and do what he wants to do anyway. She will sigh (loudly) and go along... because she has no choice and he won't listen to her. But I see him shrinking inside a little... discontent and kind of sad.

There are times she's fun with him and he lights up when that happens... which says a lot to me!

My grandmother was a pretty bitter woman toward my granddad. He surely wasn't an ideal husband (although he was a fabulous granddad!) He had a problem with drinking for much of their lives... though I never witnessed it. But she treated him like he was rather stupid and inept. She held things together... he just worked in the fields (they were farmers.) He was one of the sweetest men I've ever known... but he seemed beaten down. He was never allowed to go past the things he'd done wrong... because she wasn't a virtuous wife in her speech and manner toward him so much of the time.

In the end, he became senile and had to be put in a nursing home. The other women there thought he was great and spent their days flirting with him. Imagine that! They were 70-80 years old. And strangest of all, my grandmother became intensely jealous. She even smacked one elderly lady with a fly swatter and told her to leave her husband alone. :eek: :lol:

Why so often do women not value what they have till it's taken away? I'd say it's because we lack understanding and are not virtuous women. We're ONLY worth more than rubies if we're virtuous.

....the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel.
This seems to go with 'kindness is the rule of her tongue'.
Do jewels fall from our mouths daily? Or.. well... something else altogether...?

[seek_joy]

In the end, he became senile and had to be put in a nursing home. The other women there thought he was great and spent their days flirting with him. Imagine that! They were 70-80 years old. And strangest of all, my grandmother became intensely jealous. She even smacked one elderly lady with a fly swatter and told her to leave her husband alone. :eek: :lol:



I'm sorry to get sidetracked, kayte, but thanks for my laugh of the day. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I can see my own granny doing the same thing.

As Loretta Lynn used to sing, "stand by your man", and in this case, carry a flyswatter.:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

ahem, now back to your regularly scheduled Bible Study.

(snork, giggle, choke, gufaw, hoo, *sigh* :blush: )

[Momof5]

I know there is so, so much more....keep posting on this verse and let's add the next verse:

11) The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.

[Momof5]

11) The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.

What this means to me in a word: confidence!

[mosey]

Confidence:

full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing:


I just really thought the definition on that word was great!

Trust, trustworthiness and reliability...

There are so many area's where these things must apply to a wife for a man to flourish!

All the way from small things like how the home is run and money is spent to how she conducts herself outside of the home or on the phone. Is she trustworthy, reliable does she see herself ready for the tasks of keeping their home running smoothly and his heart safely protected so that he may be free to work hard with a clear mind to provide?

[russelllindsey]

I realize that this thread is for Bible study of Proverbs 31, but felt to add a couple of quick comments - not debate.

First off, this particular chapter speaks volumes to me - and I appreciate this study thread (I plan on catching up shortly). I'm very new to reading and studying the Bible - and have been praying for His guidance. I believe that He guided me to that passage in order to guide me on that right path. I truly believe that it was an answer to my prayers.

Lindsey

[Momof5]

I realize that this thread is for Bible study of Proverbs 31, but felt to add a couple of quick comments - not debate.

First off, this particular chapter speaks volumes to me - and I appreciate this study thread (I plan on catching up shortly). I'm very new to reading and studying the Bible - and have been praying for His guidance. I believe that He guided me to that passage in order to guide me on that right path. I truly believe that it was an answer to my prayers.

Lindsey

Welcome, Lindsey!:hug:

Please join us as we study and explore this passage. Feel free to comment at any time!:)

[seek_joy]

The heart of her husband safely trusts her:

To me, this means that he can trust her with his secrets. How many women do we know who blather on about her husband's short comings to anyone who will listen. Who say wistfully while in a group to her husband, loud enough for all to hear:

"why can't you be like so and so and ______ (fill in the blank)"

I make a concentrated effort to say only positive things about my dh to anyone. His short comings are safe with me. A woman can do much damage to her marriage by condemning her husband publically.

[Diggindeeper]

The King James is almost identical...
"The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil."

Trust is a big issue in any marriage! Would any man want a wife who he can't trust? NO! They may date the other kind of woman, but when it comes to marriage...he wants a woman he can trust!

He wants to be proud of the wife he chose. And does not want to think she may be flirting with every man who comes across her path.

Also, he wants a wife he can trust to carry the checkbook! She cannot be the kind who impulsively buys new clothes, or new curtains, or new anything when it could cause them to have bounced checks, or run low on gas money! (But, isn't that what WE want too, ladies? To be able to TRUST our man with the money that should be 50/50?)

He SAFELY trusts in her! He can go off to earn a living, knowing she is so trustworthy, that they are as one when it comes to finances, or forsaking all others.

When our 4 children were all still at home, sometimes our money was hard to stretch. I remember I would make a grocery list, and go to 4 or 5 different stores (all near each other!) and ONLY buy what each store had on sale! I learned to save a lot that way!

And we planted a big garden, and I learned to can and freeze our vegetables, and made homemade apple butter and jelly...to save money!

The fact was, and is, that I dearly love my husband. I want him to have full confidence in me! I desire his TRUST in me. How awful a life would be without trust in each other! Many times there was pretty things I wanted for our home, but I learned not to go and shop IMPULSIVELY! With 4 children to feed, and clothe, and buy school clothes and supplies for, and to have money for their field trips and things they wanted to do...I learned that we had to sacrifice OUR wants, and stretch our money as far as it would go!

I don't think a marriage can endure the test of time, without TRUST...

[miepie]

I was thinking about this last night...... on Wednesdaynights, I give Charles an injection for his arthritis...... and I asked him if he was not afraid...... and then he said: No, I trust you completely. And I said: Are you sure? And he said: Yes, if I would not have complete trust in you, I would not have married you.......
so at least I am doing one thing right in my marriage....... ;)

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[Momof5]

This is great! Keep going...:hug:

Next verse - it ties into the last one:

12) She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.

[mosey]

12) She does him good and not evil all the days of her life.



This is a big one, a very important one. I think we as wives often neglect to realize what actually does good to our husbands and what does "evil" to him.

I want to just take a minute and think about what might do evil to a man.

Got that job That just must be done? Been bringing it up every single weekend?
Judges 16:16
With such nagging she prodded him day after day until he was tired to death.

nag
–verb
1. to annoy by persistent faultfinding, complaints, or demands.
2. to keep in a state of troubled awareness or anxiety, as a recurrent pain or problem

Spending time arguing and acting like he's stupid? This can even be in thought and action not just words.
Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Proverbs 21:19
Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.
Proverbs 27:15
A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day;

quar‧rel‧some 
–adjective
inclined to quarrel; argumentative; contentious.

Are we still the wife of his youth? Are we still fun and playfull, delighted in him and ready to spend every moment we can with him, or have we grown cold and board and bitter? Is his fountain blessed?
Proverbs 5:18
May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.

re‧joice 
–verb
1. to be glad; take delight

Hows the tongue? Do we speak only words that are pure and kind? Or do we smooth talk our husbands and manipulate them to get what we want?
Proverbs 6:24
keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

immoral

adj 1: violating principles of right and wrong

How is our character, are we a crown? Does he look at us full of delight and admiration when we are on his arm at church? Does he feel confident that we will not embaras or belittle him in front of others.. Or is that man decaying right before our eyes? Is he quiet, sunken, shrunk down into a pathetic excuse of what he was when we married him? Our behavior has a lot to do with how our husband carries himself!
Proverbs 12:4
A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

dis‧grace‧ful 
–adjective
bringing or deserving disgrace; shameful; dishonorable; disreputable.

woah... are we prudent? Do most of us even know what prudent is? Are we a gift from the Lord?
Proverbs 19:14
Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Definition from the dictionary:
pru‧dent 
–adjective
1. wise or judicious in practical affairs; sagacious; discreet or circumspect; sober.
2. careful in providing for the future; provident: a prudent decision.

Do we manage and run our homes in such a way that our husband is safe to head out the door with out a care or a worry for how we spend our day because he see's that everything is well taken care of so that he may work hard to provide.

In a book I read not to long ago I really liked the annalogy of the home being like a big corporation meaning,

Your husband is the head/owner of the company and you are his CEO, it is your job to manage and maintain order and finance. This goes even further though as far as, having meals on the table, the home orderly and the children well maintained.

Well, That is just a few minutes looking at only a few of the ways we can bring "evil" to our husbands, but I thought it very important to look at some ways that Scripture warns us on in how not to be with our husbands. And realize that there are small every day things that we do that tear our husbands down, that make us rotteness to his bones.

[Diggindeeper]

Very well put! Sure gives us something to think about...

I think also we should go back to what Seek joy said in post #20!

This was difficult for me to learn and put into practice! I remember when I first began to understand...

It was in the days when my husband drank, and ran around, and could become really mean at home. When I complained, or nagged, he would respond with things like, "I am the MAN of the house! Nobody tells me what to do!" It had gotten so bad by the time we had 3 children, that I began to learn to retaliate. I would dutifully prepare a wonderful evening meal, be waiting for him in fresh clothes, my hair combed, my make-up on...doing everything the right way. I was so perfect!

So, since I was so perfect, and he didn't show up at a reasonable time, I would dump his supper in the dog dish and feed it to the dog. I felt perfectly justified in doing this! When he came home in the middle of the night or wee hours of the morning, I'd have a chair propped under the door knob, and he COULD NOT get in!

Then, when he's start banging on the door and yelling for me to open it, I'd call the police and tell them someone was trying to break in my home...and I was there all alone with my little children.

Meanwhile, when he was home, I'd be preaching to him, and laying Bible tracts on the table by his chair...but he'd just use them for a coaster to sit his beer can on!

Ladies, it was not until the Lord dealt with ME, and caused me to stop doing the things I was doing, and showed me I was NOT little Miss Perfect, after all, that the Lord was able to deal with him! He got so he would make comments like, "What's come over you? I did not think I'd have any supper, but here you are, warming it up for me, and not fussing at me..."

You see, my retaliation was just as bad as what he was doing! My sisters, let me impress you that...it does NOT work!

[kayte]

I'm really enjoying this thread. You've all made some great and incitefull posts!

I just wanted to briefly add to this post:
Karrietex - "People not understanding submission do not see that men play a part also."

You are so right. They see submission as being subservient to a man. How do you explain that it's not that. It's all about trusty your husband to do what is right in God. AHHH, but you have to be a Godly couple and there is the crutch of it all.
You are so right in what you've shared here. :)
But for the sake of those that don't have godly husbands, I think we need to address this, too. According to Scripture, it doesn't matter what our husbands are... what they do or don't do... our responsibility remains the same, to be the wife God has called us to be. There aren't any loopholes for us.

1 Corinthians 7:13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches.

[Momof5]

I'm really enjoying this thread. You've all made some great and incitefull posts!

I just wanted to briefly add to this post:

You are so right in what you've shared here. :)
But for the sake of those that don't have godly husbands, I think we need to address this, too. According to Scripture, it doesn't matter what our husbands are... what they do or don't do... our responsibility remains the same, to be the wife God has called us to be. There aren't any loopholes for us.

1 Corinthians 7:13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.
14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy.
15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.
16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
17 But as God has distributed to each one, as the Lord has called each one, so let him walk. And so I ordain in all the churches.


Ladies, these are some great posts!

I had a feeling we were thinking along the same lines here, kayte....;) I was going to post that passage as well as:

1 Peter 3 1) Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2) when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

When I harped, nagged, and treated him like one of my children - he was never going to change. It was only when God did a work in ME - changed ME - that he saw and liked that change and everything changed!

Another portion of our verse that strikes me:

.......all the days of her life

I married him for the rest of my life, so I am to do him only good for the rest of my life. That is a tall order and on my own it is impossible. There were many times along the way that we were headed for disaster and divorce. Only with God were we restored!

I know there are circumstances where the dissolution of marriage is unavoidable and I would never advise someone to stay in abuse......But, today so many people are willing to toss aside marriage because it doesn't meet the preconceived notion of "happily ever after" - taking care of #1 - me - and not following Christ and being a servant to one another.

[miepie]

I know there are circumstances where the dissolution of marriage is unavoidable and I would never advise someone to stay in abuse......
I am glad you say that Brenda..... :hug: I know that up till today there are still people condemning me for leaving my abusive exhusband, who besides abuse tried to lead me into the p*rnworld and hated God and made me choose between him and God, and I could not do that...... he also had feelings for men (last thing I heard he has a relationship with one now....) and wanted me to approve to do that IN our marriage...... I was dying in there and then the emotional abuse when I did not approve it....... it was horrible..... sometimes I still have nightmares and it took Charles (who came into my life after surrendering the situation to God from both our sides) a long time before I was feeling safe again with a man in my house...... he belonged here, the minute he walked in it was as if he always had been there...... :)
It not only made my life a lot more quiet, and the one of our cats, but he learned me to apply the Bible to my life..... He is a very wise Bibleteacher and now he is teaching his wife! I love doing Biblestudy with him and often we do that on unexpected moments, like in the hospital we had a whole discussion about James.....
Yesterday when we got the results from the doctor (I am going to have surgery) I had to translate everything to him and I said let's not go out of here in a hurry..... let's grab a cup of tea and something to eat and let's just talk you and I and forget about the rest of the world...... he loved that! I don't know why I wanted that, but I do want more quality time with him..... I love doing my Ministry but not if that takes away time from that...... Thursday I felt led to make him happy with more 3D-penguins..... while I was cutting and taping them, we were doing Biblestudy! I loved that! :pp
I KNOW that God wanted this man for me..... he is loving, caring and very religious and helping me multiple times a day with Scriptures and when we want something we try to apply the Bible to it in the best way we can..... at first it made me mad when we had an argument or if I felt sad for a while he would throw Bibleverses at me....... it made me even more mad...... :eek: but gradually I got the hang of it and I understood why he did that...... it just takes some time to sink in sometimes....... and then I understand what he meant with it, and try to do better....... but he is never holding a grudge, neither am I, and we kiss and start over......

when we discussed James yesterday at one point we end up talking about this study here....... and he said that he had no doubt that I was his ruby and that he thinks I am a ruby...... what better compliment is there to get...... :blushhap:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[Momof5]

Good morning, all!:hug: Time to add a verse:

13) She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.

[Momof5]

13) She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.

I don't think many of us make our own yarn and thread and weave our cloth these days....at least I don't!:lol:

This shows me that I need to be organized and use my time and resources wisely, to plan ahead for what I need to accomplish my work each day. That includes bargain shopping - to get good quality on sale!

She willingly works with her hands! I am so guilty of seeing something to do become drudgery and I become a complainer......anything I do should be done as to the Lord and it becomes willing work - a joy to serve others and make a difference!

[miepie]

JFB Commentary:
13, 14. Ancient women of rank thus wrought with their hands; and such, indeed, were the customs of Western women a few centuries since. In the East also, the fabrics were articles of merchandise.

The explanation in the Bible Knowledge Commentary is even clearer:
31:13. She is involved in weaving and sewing as indicated in verses 13, 19, 22, 24. She uses wool and flax, and linen (vv. 22, 24) made from flax. With eager hands is literally, “with the delight of her hands,” suggesting that she enjoys her work.

How often do we fall into the daily routine and do chores and housework while we would want to do something else? I used to grumble sometimes when I would do that...... in this verse it says that the woman has joy in her work, even stronger than that.... the delight of her hands! She loves what she is doing! Well I can understand that...... I have not been able to do housework for quite a few years and now I do some chores every now and then..... I did some folding today and some washing..... and I loved every minute of it...... but when I had to do it daily...... it was not that nice! I guess you have to lose something first before you start to like it...... :hmm:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[Diggindeeper]

"...and willingly works with her hands."

This one is hard! Willingly work with our hands??? WILLINGLY?? I admit that sometimes I don't do that so WILLINGLY...but, I figure SOMEONE has to do it! Housework gets old...week after week...year after weary year!

But we need to remember if company drops in unexpectedly, and our home looks like the devil has been there and had a fit...who is that a reflection on? Certainly not our husband! Not our children!

People may say, "Her children always trash the house", but it reflects back to US, as if we have not taught them to pick up! (Of course, that's when people DO come by, when things are a mess!)

But, we need to realize people will say "HER house is always a pig sty." They will never say, "His house is always a mess."

But this scripture in Proverbs remeinded me of this, and I LOVE these scriptures, in Titus--


Titus 2:1-5
1 But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:

2 That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.

3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.


Older women are to teach the younger women--our daughters and daughters-in-law?-- to be KEEPERS AT HOME! We teach best and wisest by example. We are to be KEEPERS AT HOME!

[kayte]

That is such a good point Mieke! I've known so many women that do everything with a martyr attitude... they have to wash the dishes. They have to do the laundry. They have to help bring in money for the family, etc. They do it... but there is no delight whatsoever... and they bring shame and sadness to their husbands while they think they're being ever so spiritual because they're 'doing' these things. They never consider their attitude.

I like how this verse points out not only that we shouldn't be idle, but workers... AND the attitude we should have as we work.

I always thought weaving was interesting and for a long time wanted a loom so I could try it. However, looms are expensive and BIG... so x that idea. :lol:
I also like to sew a little bit and it used to be way to save money... but fabric has gotten expensive... esspecially when you don't really know how to sew and make mistakes, so you have to have more fabric than necessary.. :lol: ... so it's cheaper for me to buy ready made clothing. (I CAN sew curtains.. well... as long as it's okay if they're not exactly the right length. ;) )

13) She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands.

My wool and flax right now are gourds, paint, glass, wooden boxes.. etc.

We need to be creative and seek out what we CAN do... and then willingly, with delight, do it.

[Momof5]

Great thought and insight, ladies.:hug:

I am not sure just how much time I will have online for the weekend so I will post the next verse:

14) She is like the merchant ships; She brings her food from afar.

[miepie]

Bible Knowledge Commentary:
31:14. The noble wife also does shopping. She is like merchant ships that brought unusual and fascinating merchandise from other places. She too brought interesting and unusual items home from her shopping.

I love shopping, and I love mostly to buy things for Charles that he likes..... I love seeing his face when he tastes another new thing. We here in the Netherlands have a lot that he did not eat before and our shoppingtrips became exciting when we try to find new things he can try....... :)
Every once and a while we go to town and we love doing that..... buying things we need, but also time for taking a cup of coffee in a restaurant, or buy something nice to eat on the market...... :) The funny thing is that we are always together in the house, but drinking coffee or eating something nice on the market, or sometimes even something simple as shopping (Charles always makes jokes) makes me fall over and over in love with him again..... :)

I found this in the Life Application Notes:
Proverbs has a lot to say about women. How fitting that the book ends with a picture of a woman of strong character, great wisdom, many skills, and great compassion.
Some people have the mistaken idea that the ideal woman in the Bible is retiring, servile, and entirely domestic. Not so! This woman is an excellent wife and mother. She is also a manufacturer, importer, manager, realtor, farmer, seamstress, upholsterer, and merchant. Her strength and dignity do not come from her amazing achievements, however. They are a result of her reverence for God. In our society where physical appearance counts for so much, it may surprise us to realize that her appearance is never mentioned. Her attractiveness comes entirely from her character.
The woman described in this chapter has outstanding abilities. Her family’s social position is high. In fact, she may not be one woman at all—she may be a composite portrait of ideal womanhood. Do not see her as a model to imitate in every detail; your days are not long enough to do everything she does! See her instead as an inspiration to be all you can be. We can’t be just like her, but we can learn from her industry, integrity, and resourcefulness.

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[flybaby]

Well, tomorrow we head to Anchorage to the Farmer's Market and Costco (two hours away), so I guess I'll be bringing my food from afar...

Seriously, though, I think it's saying here that we need to be willing to go to whatever lengths it takes to feed our families. That's hard sometimes when it's just easier to pick up the phone and order pizza. I know that there are those occasions in life when pizza is the best option, but if our food is coming from a restaurant many days of the week, maybe we need to take a look at ourselves and our kitchens again and get back to the basics of making dinner. Going to the grocery store isn't always easy with two littles, but it's worth it to have that special snack my husband enjoys when he gets home.

Maybe we need another recipe swap thread to go along with this verse.....

[judi<>><]

Certainly, whoever this lady is, she takes delight in providing for those she loves... food, clothing, instruction, order.... :hmm: which circles back for me to my last post in this thread...We then should view ourselves not as emulating the Proverbs 31 woman... but as seeking to emulate the God that she emulated!Our Lord also delights in providing for us "food" through His Word, "robes of righteousness," instruction for our everyday lives, and order -- in fact, all "the desires of our hearts," if we can only align our hearts with His.

I find myself "taking delight" in many things when I feel I am living out His Will for me -- including housework, shopping, and sewing clothing (though since my daughter was about 12, the creation of clothing to wear is limited to "for myself..." other wise, I am just mending ;))

[miepie]

I especially delight in my work as a moderator on here and working in my Ministry where I embroider and make 3D-cards for my friends on here or for people who need encouragement...... I love working for Him like that..... and the times I can do something in the house or if we go shopping (Charles said I turn it into a social event..... ), I enjoy it more than I ever thought was possible..... :D

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[Joanna Joy]

How often do we fall into the daily routine and do chores and housework while we would want to do something else? I used to grumble sometimes when I would do that...... in this verse it says that the woman has joy in her work, even stronger than that.... the delight of her hands! She loves what she is doing!

My Mom has always been such a great example of this.
Most of her married life was physically hard. Because of my Dad's work, they didn't have much money and they lived alone on an island. They didn't have much, but she carefully cared for the house and garden and always seemed to enjoy working around the house and yard.

She's told me so many times over the years that God blessed her with a beautiful home (or a wonderful spot for a garden, etc.) and that the best way she knew to show Him her love and appreciation was to take good care of the things He's given her.

[Momof5]

She's told me so many times over the years that God blessed her with a beautiful home (or a wonderful spot for a garden, etc.) and that the best way she knew to show Him her love and appreciation was to take good care of the things He's given her.

That is the best way any of us can do. That also shows contentment!

[Momof5]

I think on this verse many times because I am an early riser but yesterday I really thought about it....it was our anniversay and instead of thinking "they should take me out to breakfast", I found such pleasure in making biscuits, eggs, etc., to give my family a good start to the day and to go to church ready to worship and learn!

15) She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.

Although she had servants (I am still waiting for mine:lol: ), she gave them a good start in the morning. What an example to the people who worked for her!

[mosey]

Quote:
15) She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.

Although she had servants (I am still waiting for mine ), she gave them a good start in the morning. What an example to the people who worked for her!

I've got maidservants too!! My crockpot, dishwasher, washer and dryer... and I give them a good start and set them to work every morning!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

ok ok sorry, back to the discussion!

[flybaby]

mosey, that's what I was about to say!!! We do have servants in our home if you think about it. When people try to gripe to me about how she had servants and that's how she could do so much, I remind them of our mechanical servants. They really do for us what a maidservant could have and would have done!!!

Anyway, back to the verse, wow, I have a really hard time with this one b/c I am not an early riser. The first morning that my husband came home this time, I did get up and make him the whole meal with eggs, hashbrowns, sausage and toast. But he really doesn't like that kind of breakfast everyday. However, this morning, I could've gotten up and turned on his coffee. But I didn't, I layed in bed instead.

Getting up early.....that's a foreign concept to me and one I still need to work through in my mind....Keep the discussion coming ladies, turn me into a morning person!!!

[Diggindeeper]

15) She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household, And a portion for her maidservants.

Don't you find it surprising that she provided a "portion" for her maidservants"? I don't have servants either, but what if we all DID have maids or servants? Would it EVER occur to us to provide THEM a portion to eat also? Probably not me. I would've probably thought, I'd better go and wake them up, so THEY can start breakfast!

How awful of me!:blush:

But I remember my Saturdays used to be filled with cooking...when all my four children were still under my roof. Seemed like I'd cook all day...so that as soon as we got home from church, when the whole family was STARVING...all I had to do was to warm up our Sunday Dinner!

I still have a "warming tray" that is probably 10 inches wide and perhaps 36 inches long and it's electric. (I have no idea where I bought it, and no, I don't think they sell them now. This was in the days before microwave ovens.) The warming tray had three "stove eyes" painted on it, and it kept the food nice and warm for us. All I had to do was take up our Sunday Dinner and put it on the table! Boy! Was that thing a blessing for me!

Also, I have put a turkey in the oven and let it cook real slow all night before Thanksgiving Day. I really don't think we have to be "morning people" to feed our family. We take pride in finding ingenious ideas that work!

Anyway, back then, my family would grab a jar of homemade apple butter and put it on toast, and ZAP! Instant breakfast!

But, I have read that at one time in the Soviet Union (I don't know if food is still in short supply there or not) but the women would line up BEFORE DAYBREAK at local bakeries, hoping to buy one loaf of bread! How fortunate we have been! Thank you, Lord!

But, a Mother, a real MOTHER, will do whatever it takes to feed her children! Even if it means doing without ourself.

[Momof5]

Great stuff, ladies!:hug: I never thought of our modern conveniences as being "servants", so to speak. Thank you, Lord, for allowing us to have these things!!!

16) She considers a field and buys it; From her profits she plants a vineyard.

Wow! We know from verse 24 that she has a cottage industry that, evidently, is profitable. In reading this, my thought is that the consideration is not only inspecting the field to purchase it - but she considers what is she going to do with it, and what will be the benefit?

She invests her resources wisely in planting a vineyard, which, I am sure is profitable. In turn, she can help people in need! What a lesson for me!

[miepie]

That's why I like putting money into my little (well little..... :D ) Ministry...... it is worth so much to make a person at the other end of the world happy with just a simple card or embroidery..... I know I can get paid for it..... but I do not want that.... I want that smile or that hug...... just the idea that I can make people happy with my "investments" is so great.......

And that other verse.... the early rising...... no trouble at all...... Charles often catches me cutting card or embroidering at 7 or 8 am...... :lol: If you can't do that, try taking some Ritalin...... Success garanteed! :lol:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[kayte]

My appliances are my servants, too. My newest servant is Franke... my kitchen sink. (Has his name right on it. :lol: ) I got him and Delta (my faucet) for Christmas. :D

I'm not an early riser either. I've always struggled with that verse. I wake up between 7 and 8.. but I stay in bed for at least an hour. I use that time to study. If I get up before that I have a very hard time getting study in and I also just never seem to wake up!

My husband is an early riser... often around 5 or 5:30. But he enjoys his morning time relaxing and is ready to get started on the day about 8:30 or 9:00. We don't have kids in the house anymore and our schedual is more flexible since dh works at home.

But still... I would have to say that my 'vineyard' needs some weeds pulled. :blush:

[flybaby]

I don't have a cottage industry right now. I do babysit on occasion for people. For me right now, the way I make money is by saving us money. My husband allows me to stay home and take care of our two children (saving money from daycare), and I work to find sales at the grocery store. My friends and I share clothes around so that we save money on clothes. I'm considering making my own laundry soap. My friend did it and it costs about a penny a load!! Um, let's see, I pay the bills on time to avoid late fees, I take the kids to play at the park so that we aren't spending money on activities, we walk sometimes, I trade babysitting out with a friend to save money on that. These are just some of the things that I do to "make" money for our household.

[mosey]

I work on ocassion doing photography to bring in a little extra money, my kids are usually with me or I run them up to Kayte (grandmas baby sit cheep to LOL).. I did some baby sitting for a while but quickly decided my 4 where not getting the attention they need I work hard to prepare meals that are cost effective and go a long way.

I have been thinking about this thread all day.. am I industrious, do I do my best by my family, do I do for others... I guess I'm still thinking.

[Momof5]

It's all food for thought, mosey. Remember, we cannot be this woman. There are not enough hours in the day....she is a composite - an ideal. We can strive to be like her, to first - fear the Lord, then comes our husbands, families, home, industries, etc.

(I am still waiting for those maidservants, BTW):lol:

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

May I join, albeit late?

I think that sometimes we can allow ourselves to be over-run with guilt trying to live up to this woman. I firmly believe that the L-rd brings us through "seasons" in our lives and THIS is what this woman was exemplifying. I don't know if I believe she is a composite of several woman, but rather one woman in several seasons of her life.

I am soon-to-be 50. When I was a young married woman with small children, that season of my life was consumed with homemaking and child-rearing.

As the children got older and did not need so much hands-on from me, I was able to expand my ministry outside of my immediate family. That season too was G-d's will.

Then, I had a season where I could do nothing for myself or my family or my church (I had Leukemia and underwent chemotherapy for 18 months). G-d blessed during that season as well, as I became the "younger" woman of Titus 2:3-5 and was very needy.

And now, in THIS season, I am a year out from chemo, I am in remission and I am slowly regaining my strength. The L-rd again has me in another season and as a Proverbs 31 woman, I am seeing areas where I can do some of these things.

As I get older and the children leave home, I will have even MORE focus on cottage industry or outside ministry.

So, I just wanted to say that this woman, to ME, shows how we grow in our seasons, one woman doing G-d's will wherever He has her - be it child-rearing, leading ladies' Bible study, working, cottage industry, ministry etc. Not all at once, but over her lifetime, in her seasons.

[Diggindeeper]

Quote:
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.


Bill and I were kind of unusual in our younger days, I suppose. But with four children, we had to find ways to supplement our income. Sometimes I did have to go to work for short periods of time to catch up some bills that were smothering to us. But when I did work, it was while they were all in school, and when they were not, I found neighbors who would "be there" if they needed anything. Or it was when Bill was there.

But one thing we did that many considered strange was to buy a house, stay there 4 or 5 years, then sell it! We never got to fall in love with any one house or neighboprhood. But our profits were always enough for closing costs on another home, and we had enough to pay off our cars and bills! We did make it an unspoken rule that we would NEVER jerk our children out of a school and put them in a different one in the middle of a school year.

Our kids, we found, adjusted very well to the moves, and they got used to moving. They understood this was our plan, and it sure helped me to stay home with our kids like Bill wanted me to do. I am so thankful that I was able to do that! I was there when they came home from school, talking about things that had happened that day. And I was there when they were sick and needed me. We couldn't afford day care for 4 children!

I did not know how this impacted my children until my youngest son was across the ocean in the military, during the first Iraqui war. He called one time, and said, "Oh, Mom, I am so-o-o sick." Man! That was like a knife in my heart! I thought, My child is sick, and I can't be there for him!

I asked what was wrong, and he said he had been running a fever and throwing up all night. Someone had to come and change his bed for him twice! Then he said, "Mom, I had to call to say I believe I could get better faster, if you could be here...just to put your hand on my forehead, like you used to do when I was a little boy." So, it is important to be there with them when they are sick.

Later, as the children got a little older, when I began to submit things I'd written for possible publication, I was amazed that God could use MY words on paper for extra money for us, and that I could witness to so very many with magazine articles and stories. I am still awed when I have something published in a magazine that has a circulation of say...98,000! I figure if only 1/2 of those read my article, then I have reached at least 49,000 people! So, God really blessed that for us, not only as a ministry, but with extra income.

I think God just enables us women with a bit of genius in us that allows us to find creative ways, if we must, to be a financial helpmates to our husband, and to have enough to share and give and help others! It does not say this in verse 16 (quoted at top of this post), but I really do not believe that vineyard was totally for that lady's income. I understand it was her way of supplying grapes and grape juice and even food and snacks (raisins) for her family, but I can easly see her sharing it with neighbors and those in need!

[flybaby]

I would love to have my writings published, I just don't have enough gumption to send anything in. Plus, I've only actually completed one book. I've done several short stories and have probably ten books started. But to finish one is difficult for me.


Vickilynn, I, too, have been taught for years that this is seasons of a woman's life. But either way, there are definitely things that we can learn and apply to our lives throughout every verse. That's why I have really enjoyed this study, I learn something new about every verse!!!

[Joanna Joy]

Well, I'm ashamed to admit that I used to feel a little bit smug about the whole rising early thing. :blush: I was the only working mom I knew who eagerly got up early and fixed a hot "sit down together before heading off to school" breakfast for her family.

Then I realized that the Proverbs 31 Woman probably didn't doze off on the couch at 8 pm every night. :lol:

She's an awesome example of stewardship, isn't she?
She uses her time wisely, her talents wisely, her money and resources wisely.......

[Momof5]

It gets even better......

17) She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.

Our woman is physically fit! No wonder she can plant a vineyard, get up when it's still dark and go to bed late........

[Momof5]

Even more important, I believe girding ourself with strength is our spiritual strength - the strength we have in the Lord!

[miepie]

Bible Knowledge Commentary:
31:17. She works energetically (lit., “girds her loins with strength”) and with vigor (cf. “works” in v. 13) She has a healthy attitude toward work.

girds
chagar, Hebrew 2296, Strong’s
chagar, khaw-gar'; a primitive root; to gird on (as a belt, armor, etc.) :- be able to put on, be afraid, appointed, gird, restrain, × on every side

I have nothing to say about this...... :D I am not strong physically, but I am strong mentally and religously. So if that is what is meant here, then I do fine...... :) although I must admit that my husband is much stronger in these and is trying to teach me to be the same.....

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[Momof5]

You are a strong woman in the Lord, Mieke!:hug:

Next verse:

18) She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night.

I see that she gives her best! She is talented and uses her talents in service to her family and the people she helps. She sees a market for the goods she makes and sells them....no wonder she can bring in goods and food from afar....

The second part of the verse is so not me! I am an early riser but I am exhausted by evening and go to bed at 9 p.m. Nothing productive comes from me after that hour.:lol:

[Vickilynn]

17) She girds herself with strength, And strengthens her arms.

Shalom,

I believe this is 2 things.
1) How we take care of the body. If we have work to do, we make sure we get our rest beforhand so we are at our best and full of strength (as much as we have) to fulfil the task.

2)And I also agree that this applies to our spiritual strength - we are prayed up, and in the Word and strong in Jesus!

18) She perceives that her merchandise is good, And her lamp does not go out by night.

I believe the L-rd gives her discernment and she uses it for His glory. She does do and give her best and this verse says that she works hard to achieve the best - doing what it takes - even staying up at night if need be.

I'm more of a night owl right now rather than an early riser and sometimes I do my Bible Study lessons late at night after busy days.(I am teaching a ladies' Bible study for our church).

[flybaby]

It seems like she's available night or day to her family. Her lamp does not go out by night. Now obviously she sleeps, we all have to have our sleep. But she is willing to get up if necessary to take care of her family. Can we say sick kids?? We all know what that is like!!!

[Momof5]

It seems like she's available night or day to her family. Her lamp does not go out by night. Now obviously she sleeps, we all have to have our sleep. But she is willing to get up if necessary to take care of her family. Can we say sick kids?? We all know what that is like!!!

Absolutely! Even though I have a little older (and some grown) kids now, I am helping to raise my 2 year old grandson and I have him at night several nights a week......

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

Amen. Our 7 y/o still sleeps in my bed. Can we say "ouch!!'? :spin: I'm up whenever they are sick or when they just need something.

[Momof5]

Good morning all!:hug:

19) She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.

I was unsure of what is distaff is - it is a staff that hold the flax or wool for spinning. She could have others do this work, but this is an area of her skill and talent, so she does it - and leads by example. We should willingly do whatever work the Lord has given us to do!

[Momof5]

20) She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

When we are wise stewards of what God gives us, we are able to reach out to those in need. We are able to do this well when we know our family is taken care of. We should help feed, clothe, visit those in need. I believe this extends to spiritual needs as well....we can teach, lead a study, share the Gospel, encourage....whatever the Lord has called us to do.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom!

I'm not trying to derail the thread, but I just returned home from our church's ladies' retreat and our speaker was Luann Prater from PROVERBS 31 MINISTRY!! ( www.proverbs31.org) Awesome!

[Vickilynn]

Shalom!

19) She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hand holds the spindle.

This to me says that she works to create goods from scratch. I know for me, I cook That is my area and it is what I can do, so I do as I can.

20) She extends her hand to the poor, Yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.

Also, this can be the area of hospitality. We are to open our homes to others who are needy and feed them, bless them and show them the love of Messiah!

Also, giving and blessing as we are led to those Jesus brings to us.

[Joanna Joy]

When we are wise stewards of what God gives us, we are able to reach out to those in need. We are able to do this well when we know our family is taken care of. We should help feed, clothe, visit those in need. I believe this extends to spiritual needs as well....we can teach, lead a study, share the Gospel, encourage....whatever the Lord has called us to do.

I've found that when I do take good care of what we've got God always provides more than we need. It always seems that our budget's tighter when I'm busy and distracted, though. :hmm: Of course it isn't - but when I don't plan well, I end up spending more on convenience foods or meals out, etc. and it all adds up so quickly.

I love the way God does things. While He expects us to sesrve others out of obedience to Him - He always blesses that obedience. I know the little bit that Gus and I are able to give and the few things we're able to do really bring us pleasure...... probably more than those on the other end get out of it. That's a loving God for you.

[Momof5]

Shalom!

I'm not trying to derail the thread, but I just returned home from our church's ladies' retreat and our speaker was Luann Prater from PROVERBS 31 MINISTRY!! ( www.proverbs31.org) Awesome!

It's not derailing the thread...thank you for sharing this site.:hug:

[Momof5]

21) She is not afraid of snow for her household, For all her household is clothed with scarlet.

You know, I have found several meanings (to me) in almost every verse.....we can prepare our family for a harsh winter each year by the proper food and clothing. We can also prepare for lean times.

I also see this in another way since I am getting older! :)

I am not afraid to become an old woman or to depart this earth because my family and I are believers and are all covered by the blood of Jesus Christ.

[Momof5]

22) She makes tapestry for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

Even for herself, she made and wore the best - looked her best. How many of us try to look our best?

[Diggindeeper]

You know, something about us attracted us to our husband in the beginning, before he was our husband. Something caused him to want to come back, then to make us HIS wife. I can't help but think it was not our brains or our ability to keep house.

I think it is very important to KEEP ON being a wife he can be proud of. I see it eually important that our children consider us attractive. I used to take pride in the fact that I sewed. I really did make a lot of my clothes, and my daughters, even when she went off to college..she took lots of my homemade washable wool skirts. And she was very proud of her clothes.

But, we should be an example to our kids, to be well-groomed, and dress appropriately! It is from us they learn modesty, and cleanliness, and good grooming. Yes, the Proverbs 31 lady is a fine example for us, that it is important to try to dress the best we can. And we do not have to shop at Macy's! Notice she MADE her clothes. No designer labels for that lady!

Good heavens! What grown-up reads labels on clothing???

[Momof5]

23) Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land.

Sounds like a well-respected man - one of prominence. How much of his reputation is due to his wife? Like it or not, our husbands are judged by other people by our actions and our reputations....it was very apparent to me when I was a military wife living overseas how true this is.

[Joanna Joy]

Like it or not, our husbands are judged by other people by our actions and our reputations.....

That is so true.

[Diggindeeper]

So this Proverbs 31 lady had a husband of prominence. But I've noticed something over the years. Our husband can become KNOWN because of us. So many times I've seen people walk up and say to Bill, "You are Judy's husband, aren't you?" And people who know us seem to say things like, "We're going to Judy and Bill's for Bible Study." (I've noted, they don't say "to Bill and Judy's") And even our grandkids say, "We're going to Mamaw and Papaw's."

This lady must have been known and well liked. We know she took good care of her family and worked hard to clothe them and care for them. She considered a piece of land and bought it. So she knew landowners. With her own hands, she planted a vineyard. So she may have had hired hands, helping in the vineyard. Yet, she was no rich snob! She made sure she gave to the poor and needy.

Yes, people must have known this lady! By everything she did, they knew her. Therefore, she was a GOOD reflection on her husband. They could have said to him, "Oh! I know you! You are Proverbs 31's husband! She gave me the nicest clothes that her children had outgrown!" Or, "She gave me food when I was sick and could not work!"

You see, I am convinced we are known by our "doings", and by our "doings", those who know us come to know our husbands. I imagine when someone came to know him because of his wife, I just imagine, that his eyes must have lit up, and probably pride showed in his smile, when he would answer, "Yes, Proverbs 31 is MY WIFE."

By her doings, I think it helped him rise to prominence.

[Momof5]

Judy, I love your explanations! :hug:

Onto the next verse:

24) She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies sashes for the merchants.

Do you think the linen garments were ladies' clothing?

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

These verses where she makes her own clothing, well, that's great, but I don't sew. :lol: Also, back then, it was more of a necessity since she couldn't run out to Wal-mart for her clothing for her family.

And, since I believe this woman's accomplishments span over her lifetime (many seasons), that is not to say that I won't learn how to sew before I die! :idea:

I believe these verses hold true about doing what can at home with our gifts and talents G-d has given us and using them to bless our family and those G-d leads us to.

[Momof5]

I don't sew either, so I would be the one buying the clothing from the woman who made them!:lol:

I believe these verses hold true about doing what can at home with our gifts and talents G-d has given us and using them to bless our family and those G-d leads us to.

I agree with you.:hug:

[Diggindeeper]

I agree also, but you know what? That poor lady, like you said, had no Walmart. But...she even had to spin her own flax (I think it was flax) into the thread, to make the material....Bless her ingenious heart!

But probably it was not only clothes she made. It could have been bed coverings, men's robes, some type of curtains....we can only guess.

But, aren't we fortunate today! We do have Walmart...and hopefully money to go there!

She sure was industrious! She did whatever she had to do....

[Vickilynn]

She sure was industrious! She did whatever she had to do....

Shalom Judy,

I think you hit the nail on the head for me and made this verse come alive.
She did whatever she had to do and what she COULD do! It was in her attitude that we can emulate, not necessarily her actions.

For example, I'm not blessed right now with knowing how to sew, but I grind wheat, bake all our bread products and take care of our family that way. When we raised milk goats, hubby milked and I made cheese. Things like that - to bless our family and those G-d brings our way.

So, our heart attitude should be as this one - to do whatever we can with what G-d has given us - to bless those He puts in our lives. This too is a wonderful reflection on our husbands.

My husband BRAGS to everyone about my homemade breads and always wants some to give away to his friends! He is blessed by my actions!

[Momof5]

Good morning!:)

25) Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come.

The best clothing of all: strength and honor!

[Joanna Joy]

This has been one of my favorite verses of this chapter for a long time now.

When I'm facing tough times at work, at church or home - little problems or big problems - this verse always gives me a boost. It reminds me that if I persevere with strength and honor, I'll be able to look back on those tough times later and rejoice. I'll have no regrets and nothing to be embarressed or ashamed of because I clothed myself with strength and honor.

[Momof5]

26) She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness.

Ouch! I wish I could say this was me all the time. Only through the Lord am I able to control my tongue!

[miepie]

Ouch! I wish I could say this was me all the time. Only through the Lord am I able to control my tongue!
I'd settle for 3/4 of the time........ :) I am much better in typing than in straight talking...... I do pretty good though..... except when I talk to my mum..... that's agony for me...... :eek: I only say bad things to Charles when I am really angry...... we have been studying the part of James where it talks about the power of the tongue and since then I am doing a little better..... working on the situation with my mum too...... but then both parties need to want to do that.... :rolleyes:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[Diggindeeper]

Oh Lord...Sometimes when I get Really...MAD at Bill, like I did the other day...

I say some nasty things...like I did that day...
"Your MOM used to do that all the time...and we BOTH got aggravated with her! Now...you're turning into YOUR MOM!" :blush: :hmm: :pray:

[Momof5]

Good morning! I took the day off yesterday:) .....so here's the next verse:

27) She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.

[Momof5]

27) She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.

I know with a teenager and a preteen in the house, I constantly have to watch over the ways of my household.....and we discuss what is going on in school, music, etc. We have to watch and not let some of the seemingly innocent things, which when looked at are ungodly, creep into our home.

The bread of idleness.....I thought about that while snacking on chips and dip in front of the television! :) Seriously, I try to get everything that I need to get done before I go to bed at night.

[Momof5]

28) Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.

My grown children both say something to other people that blesses me immensely - they say "We were raised right!" As a mother, that is the biggest compliment I could get besides the fact that they are both born-again Christians.

[Diggindeeper]

28) Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her.

Believe me, this is how, as we grow older and our children leave the nest and start their own family...this is how we have no regrets about things we taught our children.

I really believe that someday when we stand before God, we as Mothers will be judged first and foremost as to what we taught or did not teach our children. When our babies were born, they knew absolutely NOTHING. It was we who taught them how to eat! How to hold a spoon! How to someday dress themselves! How to walk! Later, how to be nice! How to do EVERYTHING!

But I take very seriously Deut. 6:6-9:
6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:

7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

We are to teach God's Word DILIGENTLY...when we are sitting in our house, when we are walking at Walmart, when we put the kids to bed, and when they get up! Meaning--all the time!

Not only that, but as little kids, they could not and would not go to church if we (parents) did not take them. But Mom, even if Daddy does not go to church, SOMEBODY should take them. And that somebody is US! The Mothers!

I now see the results of how I did these things. My children are grown and have children of their own. I see all 4 of them teaching scripture to my grandchildren! I see them taking their little children by the hand and taking them to church! I see them being teachers and deacons and leaders at their churches!

And once my daughter invited me to a Mother/Daughter Banquet at her church. They had a special time for all daughters who would, to say "What their Mother means" to them. My daughter was the first to speak up. What she said brought tears to my eyes.

She said,"My Mom may look small in stature. But she is and always has been the strong one in our family. She raised us with a Bible in one hand and a paddle in the other. And before my Dad was right with the Lord, it was Mom who dressed us and took us to church. She taught us to pray. She gave us the example of how to raise our own children. I thank God for my Mom!" And she came over to me, and hugged me.

Yes they do rise up and call us "blessed". But, if a Mom for some reason was not right with God when her children were little and teachable, it is NOT too late! I believe she can REPENT to her children, and she can tell them, "I know I did not do this, but I was wrong. I wish I had known to teach you what the scriptures say. And it says...."

You know, we the Mothers of the world...it is we who bring forth and rear the kings and presidents, the Pastors, the Evangelists, the Hitlers, the Neros, the criminals, the good people and the bad people. So many times today I find myself asking, as in the case of so many youthful criminals or kids who bring weapons to school, I find myself asking...where are the
parents? Where are the Moms?

And truly, the husband is proud of a Godly wife. And yes, he does praise her...to his children...to coworkers...to everyone! He has every reason to do that! Men may "date" the wrong kind of woman...but ladies, the men WANT a Godly woman for a a wife and for the Mother of his children!

[Momof5]

Great post, Judy!:hug:

28)........Her husband also, and he praises her:

This is what he says:

29) "Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all."

What a blessing her husband has given her. That is what I hope my husband says - "you're the best of all." - and he does is many ways!

[IserveIAM]

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

My husband has always done this, but I waited a long time for one of my children to do so. Finally at age 30, my son gave me a card with this verse......WOW, what a blessing.......this one is going to be framed....:spin:

[Momof5]

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

My husband has always done this, but I waited a long time for one of my children to do so. Finally at age 30, my son gave me a card with this verse......WOW, what a blessing.......this one is going to be framed....:spin:

It usually takes our children to be grown before they do this, doesn't it?:)

[Momof5]

30) Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

Ask this woman over 50 if beauty is passing!!;) But the reverence and awe of our most awesome God is eternal for us!

[judi<>><]

I think you are right about the fact that we do not often hear our children "call us blessed" until they are adults. I am still waiting for the day....

My DS turns 18 today, so.... I no longer have any "children" in my home, only young adults! ;) And though he has never "called me blessed," I think that hearing from your son, "But Mom, you are my friend" comes pretty close to qualifying. And having others tell you good things about how your children behave even when you're not around feels pretty good, too.

[Momof5]

Here is the last verse in the passage:

31) Give her of the fruit of her hands, And let her own works praise her in the gates.

I thank all who participated in this thread - please continue.....:hug:

[carissadawn]

Bump. (Can you tell I have Proverbs 31 on the brain lately?)

[superwoman8977]

It usually takes our children to be grown before they do this, doesn't it?:)

My children are awesome! They are 6 and 10 and they absolutely adore mom. Dad pretty much for the most part isnt in the picture that much and for Christmas they went and had their picture taken and put it with their handprints and had it framed with the year for me to hang on the wall and my 10 yr old is always saying how awesome his mom is because I work 40-50 hrs a week and still make it to all his bball games and choir concerts and everything. You know you have done right when your kids praise you to others!

[carissadawn]

This is an extremely "meaty" thread. I think I am going to get a spiral notebook to take notes with, set a timer for 30 minutes here and there, and work my way from the beginning. (Busting out with the Strong's so I can pull this whole study apart even more and examine it.) I really needed something like this.

If I post quotes to comment on old posts it is because I am starting from the beginning, so please forgive me!

I would love some company, if anyone would like to join me on this thread!:spin:

[miepie]

Sure, I'll help you..... :hug:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

[carissadawn]

Sure, I'll help you..... :hug:

Love you,
Mieke :kiss:

Yay! Thank you Meike! I started this the day before yesterday, and I am going to try to set aside 15 to 30 minutes each day to devote to it over break. All my kids are home for break though and the little ones already took off with the notebook I started my first lesson in.:blush:
I'm gonna have to put my notebook up after I start again! LOL! Heading off to see if I can get them to give up the one I already started in...

It's funny, I thought I would be most interested in the domestic aspects of this lesson, but I can already tell that I am severely in need of the aspects of controlling speech and learning wisdom.

I read the whole thread once through and the discussion of not talking poorly about one's husband was very valuable. I am not married but I had very hard relationship with my ex and I put him down CONSTANTLY (quite ofte in public). He was abusive and I still wouldn't stay with him if I could do it all over again, but I would have tried to treat him with more respect while we were together because I was just an absolute witch. I could have behaved myself with much more dignity than I did. I resented him so much for his behaviors and I let it show everywhere I went. (And I wondered why his family disliked me.):hmm:

This thread is enlightening in so many ways, I am really grateful to the Titus 2 ladies on the board who started this discussion, hopefully some of us newbies can learn from it as well!:hug: