Mourning

[Debra R]

I had wanted to find out what the bible says about mourning and how long they mourned for their loved ones who had died. I feel as if I will mourn forever for our Nathan. It still hurts very badly. I just had the thoughts to look up mourning in the bible. I did find where they mourned thirty days for Moses but I really didn't find what I was looking for. Which I didn't really know what it is I'm looking for either. Anyway I ran across this in Isaiah and I thought this was very beautiful..............


Isaiah 60:19 " The sun shall no longer be your light by day,
Nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you;
But the LORD will be to you an everlasting light,
And your God your glory.

20 Your sun shall no longer go down,
Nor shall your moon withdraw itself;
For the LORD will be your everlasting light,
And the days of your mourning shall be ended.

21 Also your people shall all be righteous;
They shall inherit the land forever,
The branch of My planting,
The work of My hands,
That I may be glorified.



If you guys can find more verses about mourning I would appreciate it.
Thanks :hug:

[Vickilynn]

Shalom Dear Sister,

I have much to say, but this says it so succinctly.


Matthew 5:4


4"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

[slightlypuzzled]

It will take you awhile to get over it. It was all intense for you, and you were with him for so long. Just let Him lead you....you will always have a soft place in your heart for Nathan, and that is a good thing.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

Ecclesiastes


7:2 It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.
7:3 Sorrow is better than laughter: for by the sadness of the countenance the heart is made better.
7:4 The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning; but the heart of fools is in the house of mirth.

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up [that which is] planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;"
Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

[Vickilynn]

Shalom,

"I will turn their mourning into gladness. I will give them
comfort and joy instead of sorrow."
~Jeremiah 31:13~

[Vickilynn]

Nave's Topical Bible (http://bible.crosswalk.com/Concordances/NavesTopicalBible/)

For the dead Head uncovered - Leviticus 10:6 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Le+10:6&version=av) & Leviticus 21:10 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Le+21:10&version=av)
Lying on the ground - 2 Samuel 12:16 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Sa+12:16&version=av)
Personal appearance neglected - 2 Samuel 14:2 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Sa+14:2&version=av)
Cutting the flesh
Leviticus 19:28
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Le+19:28&version=av)Leviticus 21:1-5
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Le+21:1-5&version=av)Deuteronomy 14:1
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=De+14:1&version=av)Jeremiah 16:6,7
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Jer+16:6,7&version=av)Jeremiah 41:5 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Jer+41:5&version=av)
Lamentations
Genesis 50:10
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Ge+50:10&version=av)Exodus 12:30
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Ex+12:30&version=av)1 Samuel 30:4
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1Sa+30:4&version=av)Jeremiah 22:18
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Jer+22:18&version=av)Matthew 2:17,18 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Mt+2:17,18&version=av)
Fasting
1 Samuel 31:13
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1Sa+31:13&version=av)2 Samuel 1:12
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Sa+1:12&version=av)2 Samuel 3:35 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Sa+3:35&version=nasb) (http://bible.crosswalk.com/Dictionaries/EastonBibleDictionary/)
Easton's says this: "In the later times we find a class of mourners who could be hired to give by their loud lamentation the external tokens of sorrow
(2 Chr. 35:25; Jer. 9:17; Matt. 9:23)."
Hired mourners
2 Chronicles 35:25
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Ch+35:25&version=av)Ecclesiastes 12:5
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Ec+12:5&version=av)Jeremiah 9:17
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Jer+9:17&version=av)Matthew 9:23 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Mt+9:23&version=av)
Let's look at some of what the Bible says about Sorrow:
Nave's Topical Bible (http://bible.crosswalk.com/Concordances/NavesTopicalBible/)helps us to understand what the Bible says about SORROW.
Sorrow (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?srch_type=STANDARD&word=sorrow&section=both&version=av)is mentioned 65 times in the Bible.
God takes notice Of Hagar's - Genesis 21:17-20 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Genesis+21%3A17-20&version=av)
Of the Israelites - Exodus 3:7-10 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Ex+3:7-10&version=av)
For sin - 2 Corinthians 7:10,11 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Co+7:10,11&version=av)
No sorrow in heaven - Revelation 21:4 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Re+21:4&version=av)
"Sorrow and sighing will flee away," - Isaiah 35:10 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Isa+35:10&version=av)
Of Hannah - 1 Samuel 1:15 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=1Sa+1:15&version=av)
Of David for Absalom - 2 Samuel 18:33 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Sa+18:33&version=av) & 2 Samuel 19:1-8 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=2Sa+19:1-8&version=av)
Of Mary and Martha - John 11:19-40 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Joh+11:19-40&version=av)
Of Jeremiah - Lamentations 1:12 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=La+1:12&version=av)
Of Jesus - Isaiah 53:11 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Isa+53:11&version=av) & Matthew 26:37-44 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Mt+26:37-44&version=av) & Mark 14:34-42 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Mr+14:34-42&version=av) & Luke 22:42-44 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Lu+22:42-44&version=av)
From bereavement Of Jacob for Joseph - Genesis 37:34,35
(http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Ge+37:34,35&version=av)For Benjamin - Genesis 43:14 (http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?passage=Ge+43:14&version=av)
"Therefore the redeemed of the Lord shall return, and come with singing unto Zion; and everlasting joy shall be upon their head: they shall obtain gladness and joy; and sorrow and mourning shall flee away."
~Isaiah 51:11~

Main Entry: 1sor row
Pronunciation: 'sär-(")O, 'sor-
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English sorow, from Old English sorg; akin to Old High German sorga sorrow
Date: before 12th century
1 a : deep distress, sadness, or regret especially for the loss of someone or something loved b : resultant unhappy or unpleasant state <to his sorrow he lost his temper>
2 : a cause of grief or sadness
3 : a display of grief or sadness
synonyms SORROW, GRIEF, ANGUISH, WOE, REGRET mean distress of mind. SORROW implies a sense of loss or a sense of guilt and remorse <a family united in sorrow upon the patriarch's death>. GRIEF implies poignant sorrow for an immediate cause <the inexpressible grief of the bereaved parents>. ANGUISH suggests torturing grief or dread <the anguish felt by the parents of the kidnapped child>. WOE is deep or inconsolable grief or misery <cries of woe echoed throughout the bombed city>. REGRET implies pain caused by deep disappointment, fruitless longing, or unavailing remorse <nagging regret for missed opportunities>.

In many societies, clothing of certain colors has special meaning. For example, people in mourning may wear black clothes. But colors may have different meanings in various societies. A color worn for weddings in one country may be worn for funerals in another land. Most brides in the United States wear white gowns. But the people in India wear white clothes to mourn the dead.

Mourning is the expression of grief after a death. People in mourning may deny themselves amusement, avoid certain foods, or wear special clothing. Until the 1940's, Americans and Europeans wore black armbands and hung funeral wreaths on their doors while in mourning. Some societies regard a period of mourning as a time of being uncleanliness. They believe death contaminates the survivors and makes them taboo (set apart as cursed or sacred).

The funeral may include prayers, hymns and other music, and speeches called eulogies that recall and praise the dead person. In the United States, many funeral services take place at a funeral home with the embalmed body on display. After the service, a special vehicle called a hearse carries it in a procession to the cemetery or crematory. A final brief ceremony is held before the body is buried, or cremated in a special furnace. After many funerals, the mourners return with the bereaved family to their house and share food. Later, a tombstone or other monument is erected to record the dead person's life and mark the place of burial.

Funeral customs are special ceremonies performed after a person dies. Throughout history, humankind has developed such customs to express grief, comfort the living, and honor the dead.

Jews observe special rituals in connection with death. Burial takes place as soon as possible, in most cases within a day after a death. After the funeral, the family enters a seven-day period of deep mourning called Shiva. The mourners recite the Kaddish, a prayer that praises God but does not mention death. On each anniversary of the death, the relatives observe a memorial called a yahrzeit, reciting the Kaddish and lighting a candle in memory of the person.

Source for the above: The World Book Encyclopedia

[Vickilynn]

Shalom Debra,

A lot of the posts came from this website. This is an EXCELLENT website, with LOTS of great info, Scripture and practical helps.

http://www.annieshomepage.com/copetext.html

[Pastor Dennis]

I had wanted to find out what the bible says about mourning and how long they mourned for their loved ones who had died. I feel as if I will mourn forever for our Nathan. It still hurts very badly.
Hi Debra,
There's a whole heap of useful stuff that has been given you above. But I want to share something from my personal life that makes me relate so much to the cries from your heart.
My wife and I had been married for three years when our second child, a daughter was born. Alison was her name and she lived a very short life - she passed into the presence of the Lord when she was eight years old. I was filled with so much anger towards God.... I remember one night walking around in our very large back garden, and raising my voice to God in protest at his taking our little girl away from us. But God is so loving and gracious he seemed to understand my anguish and instead of striking me with a lightning bolt (which I kind of expected!), he gave me a wonderful peace and a miracle of acceptance of her life in heaven with him.
Can you guess when that was? It was in the year 1962 - yes, 44 years ago this very month. And my heart still aches... there is an empty spot there. But with it, there is a gentle acceptance of the best will of God for Alison so that I and my wife will each shed a quiet tear as we remember her every year on her birthday, her date of death and at Christmas times. There is a sadness in us both at those times but a real peace of Jesus so that we do not live ur lives in heartbroken style but with an eagerness for that day when we shall be joined with her in the Lord's presence.
I will not seek to give you advice about your mourning for Nathan, that would be presumptuous of me, However I am praying that from my own story and our loss of our dear daughter you will find your own consolation and way of accepting the ways of our Lord God.
Wiht love in Jesus,
Dennis

[threebigrocks]

Debra, there has been so much shared here, a lot of things worth reading and listening to the Lord to speak on. I pray that you do find increasing peace as you travel along in this life, holding to that day you will see Nathaniel and our Savior together. :hug:

[Debra R]

Shalom Dear Sister,

I have much to say, but this says it so succinctly.

Thank you dear sister for all your postings :hug:.
I will read and think on them awhile.

[Debra R]

It will take you awhile to get over it. It was all intense for you, and you were with him for so long. Just let Him lead you....you will always have a soft place in your heart for Nathan, and that is a good thing.

Thank you :hug:.

I miss him so terribly. I loved him so much. He was so sweet and precious.
Here lately, all I want to do is cry. When Caleb passed away it seemed to make it all even harder.

How are you doing? I hope things will get better for you too. Love you dear brother :hug:.

Hey, maybe sometime when Ken and his family come down you can visit us too. :)

[Debra R]

Hi Debra,
There's a whole heap of useful stuff that has been given you above. But I want to share something from my personal life that makes me relate so much to the cries from your heart.
My wife and I had been married for three years when our second child, a daughter was born. Alison was her name and she lived a very short life - she passed into the presence of the Lord when she was eight years old. I was filled with so much anger towards God.... I remember one night walking around in our very large back garden, and raising my voice to God in protest at his taking our little girl away from us. But God is so loving and gracious he seemed to understand my anguish and instead of striking me with a lightning bolt (which I kind of expected!), he gave me a wonderful peace and a miracle of acceptance of her life in heaven with him.
Can you guess when that was? It was in the year 1962 - yes, 44 years ago this very month. And my heart still aches... there is an empty spot there. But with it, there is a gentle acceptance of the best will of God for Alison so that I and my wife will each shed a quiet tear as we remember her every year on her birthday, her date of death and at Christmas times. There is a sadness in us both at those times but a real peace of Jesus so that we do not live ur lives in heartbroken style but with an eagerness for that day when we shall be joined with her in the Lord's presence.
I will not seek to give you advice about your mourning for Nathan, that would be presumptuous of me, However I am praying that from my own story and our loss of our dear daughter you will find your own consolation and way of accepting the ways of our Lord God.
Wiht love in Jesus,
Dennis

Thank you Pastor Dennis :hug:. I am so sorry for your loss of your daughter. Can I ask what happened?

I struggle sometimes with anger too. I guess trying to understand why.
I try to chase some thoughts away. Like, why did God allow it? I believe that our God is all powerful, there is nothing that can happen without His knowledge or without Him allowing it to happen. Actually my heart is just broken. A part of me realizes that Nathan is in the very best place he could be, with God. After being with God and enjoying the glorys of heaven it would be cruel to wish him back here you know what I mean? But I miss him. The worst part is the disease and what he suffered. That still hurts me. I'm still struggling with a lot of emotions. I guess I will just have to work through them. I am thankful God is with me and that He loves me. I could not make it if God were not with me. I would rather be dead.


Thank you all so much for your comfort.

God bless you.
Love, Deb

[Pastor Dennis]

Hi Deb,
I'll PM you over the weekend. It's just that some things are easier to share in more detail on a one-to-one, like it would be if one was sitting down with a friend sharing a cup of tea or something...
All blessings, Dennis

[susan7522]

Hi Debra,
I dont really know your situation but I do know what it is like to lose a loved one. In the beginning for me it was very hard and I had days where I thought I cannot go on like this. Eventually days got better but every once in awhile I still find myself crying and missing them very much so. Some say you will never get over it. For me I have to a degree..........if that makes sense. Big hug!:hug:

[god_guided_guy]

Debra,

My deepest sympathies are with you. Mourning is something the body does to release all its inner sadness. For we see that Abraham mourned over Sarah:

2 She died at Kiriath Arba (that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan, and Abraham went to mourn for Sarah and to weep over her.

Here is some scipture for you...

Psalm 23:4

Yes, though I walk through the deep, sunless valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod (to protect) and Your staff (to guide), they comfort me.


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Psalm 25:14-17

The secret (of the sweet, satisfying companionship) of the Lord have they who fear (revere and worship) Him, and He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its deep, inner meaning. My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. Lord, turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are multiplied; bring me out of my distresses.


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Psalm 30:5b

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.


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Psalm 30:11

You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness.


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Psalm 31:7

I will be glad and rejoice in Your mercy and steadfast love, because You have seen my affliction; You have taken note of my life's distresses.


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Psalm 31:24

Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for, and expect the Lord!


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Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow...


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Psalm 94:17-19, 22

Unless the Lord had been my help, I would soon have dwelt in the land where there is silence. When I said, My foot is slipping, Your mercy and lovingkindness, O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul!

...But the Lord has become my High Tower and Defense, and my God the Rock of my refuge.


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Psalm 119:50

This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: that Your Word has revived me and given me life.


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Song of Solomon 2:4

He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love (for love waved as a protecting and comforting banner over my head when I was near Him).


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Matthew 5:4

Blessed and enviably happy (with a happiness produced by the experience of God's favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace) are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted!


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Matthew 5:5

Blessed (happy, blithesome, joyous, spiritually prosperous - with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the meek (the mild, patient, long-suffering), for they shall inherit the earth!


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Romans 1:12

That is, that we be mutually strengthened and encouraged and comforted by each other's faith, both yours and mine.


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2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God Who is the Source of every comfort (consolation and encouragement), Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction) so that we may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God.


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2 Corinthians 7:4b

I am filled (brimful) with the comfort (of it); with all our tribulation and in spite of it, I am filled with comfort, I am overflowing with joy.


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2 Corinthians 7:6

But God, who comforts and encourages, and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered us...


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1 Thessalonians 3:7

...in spite of all our stress and crushing difficulties, we have been filled with comfort and cheer about you because of your faith (the leaning of your whole personality on God in complete trust and confidence).


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Psalm 5:11

But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits.


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Psalm 16:11

You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.


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Psalm 51:11-12

Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.


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Psalm 126:5

They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing.


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Psalm Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek; the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the (physical and spiritual) captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord (the year of His favor) and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, to grant (consolation and joy) to those who mourn in Zion - to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment (expressive) of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit - that they may be called oaks of righteousness (lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God), the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

(Note: It meant so much to me to realize that one of Christ's purposes in coming was to "comfort all who mourn"...)


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Isaiah 61:7

Instead of your (former) shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach (your people) shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double (what they had forfeited); everlasting joy shall be theirs.


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Habakkuk 3:17-19

Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, (though) the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the (victorious) God of my salvation! The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk (not to stand still in terror, but to walk) and make (spiritual) progress upon my high places (of trouble, suffering, or responsibility)!


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Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior (Who saves)! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest (in silent satisfaction) and in His love He will be silent and make no mention (of past sins, or even recall them); He will exult over you with singing.


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John 17:13

(Jesus speaking) And now I am coming to You; I say these things while I am still in the world, so that My joy may be made full and complete and perfect in them (that they may experience My delight fulfilled in them, that My enjoyment may be perfected in their own souls, that they may have My gladness within them, filling their hearts).


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Nehemiah 8:10b

...And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.

(Note: This does not mean we are to never feel grief or sadness - but that we should not allow ourselves to fall into a deep pit of depression that we get stuck in. We are to grieve for a season, and then move past the grief...)


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Revelation 21:3-4

Then I heard a mighty voice from the throne and I perceived its distinct words, saying, See! The abode of God is with men, and He will live (encamp, tent) among them; and they shall be His people, and God shall personally be with them and be their God. God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and death shall be no more, neither shall there be anguish (sorrow and mourning) nor grief nor pain any more, for the old conditions and the former order of things have passed away.

[ComeLordJesus]

Debra I will keep praying for you!!!!!:hug:


Love you,

Joyce

[cheech]

Pastor Dennis's post reminds me of my mom. 25 years ago, my brother passed away. He was 19 adn died in a house fire while stationed in KS. I was 15 at the time and my brother in law had to come get me from school to bring me home yet I didn't quite know what had happened as he wouldn't tell me till I got home to my parents. I named everyone in my family (knowing something had happened)...except my brother...for some reason I just didn't think anything could happen to him. I'll never ever forget getting out of the car and as I was walking past our large picture window, I saw my mother looking out at me crying :cry:. To this day when I think of it I become very teary eyed as I am now.

That next year my mother literally cried herself sick. It got so bad she was vomiting uncontrollably and ended up in the hospital. It was summer vacation and I went to her work to have lunch with her. Later that afternoon my dad got a call she had collapsed and was in the hospital...it was all due to stress over losing my brother. She found out years later she had a silent heart attack (that term always mystified me...how can a heart attack be silent?). Her pain was horrendous. My dad not only grieved over my brother but was now worried about her. My mother did pray constantly and in time God eased her pain, but to this day, 25 years later, she still cries a bit when she talks about him. We could be talking on the phone and one of us would mention something about him and I can hear the choke in her voice. 5 years after my brother died, my father died, which devastated her. But God, being ever loving and compassionate, opened another door for my mother. My sister had just found out she was pregnant either right before or right after my dad passed away and come June the next year she had twins :). Those boys were a Godsend for my mother as their parents both worked so my mom took care of them during the day. She literally threw herself into taking care of them and that is what got her through her grieving. She is now 83 and the twins are 19 and she still treats them like they are babies :rolleyes: :lol:. My sister and I laugh and tell my mom "don't forget to change their diapers!" :lol: I don't think the boys appreciate that comment much but they are good sports ;).

Healing will come Debra...in time. You have such great faith in God and that is something that will get you through this most difficult time. When it seems like your pain will never go away, take heart in knowing Christ is walking right beside you, guiding you through this difficult journey. Sometimes he may seem like he is silent, but he's there...waiting for you to begin your conversation with him...telling him how you feel. That is when you will see his true glory in the healing process. Of course, you know all of this ;).

I can tell you from experience...he will be using this time...this situation...to help others. Don't be surprised if you have people coming across your path who are going through something similar and need those words of encouragement that only you can give...because you have already been through it :hug:.

[amazzin]

I had wanted to find out what the bible says about mourning and how long they mourned for their loved ones who had died. I feel as if I will mourn forever for our Nathan. It still hurts very badly. I just had the thoughts to look up mourning in the bible. I did find where they mourned thirty days for Moses but I really didn't find what I was looking for. Which I didn't really know what it is I'm looking for either. Anyway I ran across this in Isaiah and I thought this was very beautiful..............


Isaiah 60:19 " The sun shall no longer be your light by day,
Nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you;
But the LORD will be to you an everlasting light,
And your God your glory.

20 Your sun shall no longer go down,
Nor shall your moon withdraw itself;
For the LORD will be your everlasting light,
And the days of your mourning shall be ended.

21 Also your people shall all be righteous;
They shall inherit the land forever,
The branch of My planting,
The work of My hands,
That I may be glorified.



If you guys can find more verses about mourning I would appreciate it.
Thanks :hug:

Hello Debora

You don't know me but I am a friend of projectpeter. He and I spoke of you son often when he would travel to St Luis to visit him. I followed attentively what was happening via the web page and I prayed for all of you everyday.

I want to express to you today that God is a comforting God and His Holy Spirit is ever present to bring healing to your hurting lives. The void is great and only He cam fill that void with the Hope we all have to one day see our loved ones again. I trust that you beleive that your son is in a place where there is no more pain and sorrow.

You ask a question that many have asked when they have experienced what you have. I am reminded of the story of David when his son died. David fasted while his son was alive and he prayed for his healing but God's plans are always soverign. David's son died and after he died, David sat down at the table and broke his fast and aked his servant to bring him food. His servants didn't understand why David would do such an insensitive thing. David's responce was that while his son was alive he fasted and prayed but God had His way, now his son is gone so why should he contiue mourning for a situation that cannot be reversed. But David always remembered his son.

I say this to you today, that there will be a time when you only will know that the mourning is to end. This time will come after you have surrendered everything to the Lord in regards to your dreams and hopes you had for you son. It may take weeks or months but there will be a time when your heart will witness to you through the Holy Spirit that "it is finished".

Remember Mary, the mother of Jesus? She mourned for her loss and didn't even realize that it was her Lord who was talking to her in the garden. When her eyes were open to who he was that she was filled with awe. You too dear Debora will come to that place of peace when you have this assurance that God is in control and that Nathan is right there playing with him. I know that you know that already, but "knowing" is the beginning of the journey towards the place of letting go. Mary had to let go and allow Jesus to ascend inot heaven. We all need to let go at some time.

There is a wonderful plan here. I don't know what it is but all things work together for His good.

I am praying for you and believing with you for that day!

(former pastor and your friend)

[Debra R]

Hi Debra,
I dont really know your situation but I do know what it is like to lose a loved one. In the beginning for me it was very hard and I had days where I thought I cannot go on like this. Eventually days got better but every once in awhile I still find myself crying and missing them very much so. Some say you will never get over it. For me I have to a degree..........if that makes sense. Big hug!:hug:

Thank you Susan :hug:

[Debra R]

Debra,

My deepest sympathies are with you. Mourning is something the body does to release all its inner sadness. For we see that Abraham mourned over Sarah:



Here is some scipture for you...

Psalm 23:4

Yes, though I walk through the deep, sunless valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod (to protect) and Your staff (to guide), they comfort me.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 25:14-17

The secret (of the sweet, satisfying companionship) of the Lord have they who fear (revere and worship) Him, and He will show them His covenant and reveal to them its deep, inner meaning. My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for He will pluck my feet out of the net. Lord, turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart are multiplied; bring me out of my distresses.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 30:5b

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 30:11

You have turned my mourning into dancing for me; You have put off my sackcloth and girded me with gladness.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 31:7

I will be glad and rejoice in Your mercy and steadfast love, because You have seen my affliction; You have taken note of my life's distresses.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 31:24

Be strong and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for and hope for, and expect the Lord!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 94:17-19, 22

Unless the Lord had been my help, I would soon have dwelt in the land where there is silence. When I said, My foot is slipping, Your mercy and lovingkindness, O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul!

...But the Lord has become my High Tower and Defense, and my God the Rock of my refuge.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 119:50

This is my comfort and consolation in my affliction: that Your Word has revived me and given me life.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Song of Solomon 2:4

He brought me to the banqueting house, and His banner over me was love (for love waved as a protecting and comforting banner over my head when I was near Him).


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matthew 5:4

Blessed and enviably happy (with a happiness produced by the experience of God's favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace) are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Matthew 5:5

Blessed (happy, blithesome, joyous, spiritually prosperous - with life-joy and satisfaction in God's favor and salvation, regardless of their outward conditions) are the meek (the mild, patient, long-suffering), for they shall inherit the earth!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Romans 1:12

That is, that we be mutually strengthened and encouraged and comforted by each other's faith, both yours and mine.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of sympathy (pity and mercy) and the God Who is the Source of every comfort (consolation and encouragement), Who comforts (consoles and encourages) us in every trouble (calamity and affliction) so that we may also be able to comfort (console and encourage) those who are in any kind of trouble or distress, with the comfort (consolation and encouragement) with which we ourselves are comforted (consoled and encouraged) by God.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Corinthians 7:4b

I am filled (brimful) with the comfort (of it); with all our tribulation and in spite of it, I am filled with comfort, I am overflowing with joy.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Corinthians 7:6

But God, who comforts and encourages, and refreshes and cheers the depressed and the sinking, comforted and encouraged and refreshed and cheered us...


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1 Thessalonians 3:7

...in spite of all our stress and crushing difficulties, we have been filled with comfort and cheer about you because of your faith (the leaning of your whole personality on God in complete trust and confidence).


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 5:11

But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 16:11

You will show me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy, at Your right hand there are pleasures forevermore.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 51:11-12

Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm 126:5

They who sow in tears shall reap in joy and singing.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Psalm Isaiah 61:1-3

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek; the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the (physical and spiritual) captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound, to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord (the year of His favor) and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, to grant (consolation and joy) to those who mourn in Zion - to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment (expressive) of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit - that they may be called oaks of righteousness (lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God), the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.

(Note: It meant so much to me to realize that one of Christ's purposes in coming was to "comfort all who mourn"...)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Isaiah 61:7

Instead of your (former) shame you shall have a twofold recompense; instead of dishonor and reproach (your people) shall rejoice in their portion. Therefore in their land they shall possess double (what they had forfeited); everlasting joy shall be theirs.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Habakkuk 3:17-19

Though the fig tree does not blossom and there is no fruit on the vines, (though) the product of the olive fails and the fields yield no food, though the flock is cut off from the fold and there are no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the (victorious) God of my salvation! The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk (not to stand still in terror, but to walk) and make (spiritual) progress upon my high places (of trouble, suffering, or responsibility)!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zephaniah 3:17

The Lord your God is in the midst of you, a Mighty One, a Savior (Who saves)! He will rejoice over you with joy; He will rest (in silent satisfaction) and in His love He will be silent and make no mention (of past sins, or even recall them); He will exult over you with singing.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John 17:13

(Jesus speaking) And now I am coming to You; I say these things while I am still in the world, so that My joy may be made full and complete and perfect in them (that they may experience My delight fulfilled in them, that My enjoyment may be perfected in their own souls, that they may have My gladness within them, filling their hearts).


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nehemiah 8:10b

...And be not grieved and depressed, for the joy of the Lord is your strength and stronghold.

(Note: This does not mean we are to never feel grief or sadness - but that we should not allow ourselves to fall into a deep pit of depression that we get stuck in. We are to grieve for a season, and then move past the grief...)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Revelation 21:3-4

Then I heard a mighty voice from the throne and I perceived its distinct words, saying, See! The abode of God is with men, and He will live (encamp, tent) among them; and they shall be His people, and God shall personally be with them and be their God. God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and death shall be no more, neither shall there be anguish (sorrow and mourning) nor grief nor pain any more, for the old conditions and the former order of things have passed away.

Thank you for that wonderful scripture :hug:.

I love the Psalms. Sometimes when I read them they feel as if they are the cry of my heart.
God bless you.

[Debra R]

Debra I will keep praying for you!!!!!:hug:


Love you,

Joyce

Thank you Joyce :hug:

[Debra R]

Pastor Dennis's post reminds me of my mom. 25 years ago, my brother passed away. He was 19 adn died in a house fire while stationed in KS. I was 15 at the time and my brother in law had to come get me from school to bring me home yet I didn't quite know what had happened as he wouldn't tell me till I got home to my parents. I named everyone in my family (knowing something had happened)...except my brother...for some reason I just didn't think anything could happen to him. I'll never ever forget getting out of the car and as I was walking past our large picture window, I saw my mother looking out at me crying :cry:. To this day when I think of it I become very teary eyed as I am now.

That next year my mother literally cried herself sick. It got so bad she was vomiting uncontrollably and ended up in the hospital. It was summer vacation and I went to her work to have lunch with her. Later that afternoon my dad got a call she had collapsed and was in the hospital...it was all due to stress over losing my brother. She found out years later she had a silent heart attack (that term always mystified me...how can a heart attack be silent?). Her pain was horrendous. My dad not only grieved over my brother but was now worried about her. My mother did pray constantly and in time God eased her pain, but to this day, 25 years later, she still cries a bit when she talks about him. We could be talking on the phone and one of us would mention something about him and I can hear the choke in her voice. 5 years after my brother died, my father died, which devastated her. But God, being ever loving and compassionate, opened another door for my mother. My sister had just found out she was pregnant either right before or right after my dad passed away and come June the next year she had twins :). Those boys were a Godsend for my mother as their parents both worked so my mom took care of them during the day. She literally threw herself into taking care of them and that is what got her through her grieving. She is now 83 and the twins are 19 and she still treats them like they are babies :rolleyes: :lol:. My sister and I laugh and tell my mom "don't forget to change their diapers!" :lol: I don't think the boys appreciate that comment much but they are good sports ;).

Healing will come Debra...in time. You have such great faith in God and that is something that will get you through this most difficult time. When it seems like your pain will never go away, take heart in knowing Christ is walking right beside you, guiding you through this difficult journey. Sometimes he may seem like he is silent, but he's there...waiting for you to begin your conversation with him...telling him how you feel. That is when you will see his true glory in the healing process. Of course, you know all of this ;).

I can tell you from experience...he will be using this time...this situation...to help others. Don't be surprised if you have people coming across your path who are going through something similar and need those words of encouragement that only you can give...because you have already been through it :hug:.

Thank you for sharing Cheech :hug:
It is so hard getting adjusted to a new way of life without our loved ones here with us. I have been keeping myself so busy, working like a mad woman :D. And then I'm so tired I can't even think straight.

Trying to chase thoughts away. I keep remembering his last day with us.
Kneeling beside his bed telling him how much we loved him. Tina had said he wasn't breathing and as I watched him his lips moved as if he was trying to say something and then that was it I knew he was gone. The hospice nurse had just come in and after she checked him she began to take off the IV's and the catheter and then gave him to Tina to hold. She held him awhile and then let me hold him. His little body was still warm. I held him with tears streaming down my face my heart breaking into little pieces. I continued to hold him until his body started growing cold.
I lost my mom to cancer in 1992 and it was bad but watching Nathan die almost killed me. I remember the day of Nathan's funeral on the way to the cemetary Joe and I were listening to Agnes Dei and I was singing to the Lord and I tell you I know God got me through the funeral service and at the cemetary, because sitting by his casket at the cemetary I honestly thought I was going to keel over and die right beside Nathan. Our God did give me strength and He continues to give me strength. I know I couldn't make it without Him, not at all.

I know I need to keep focusing on our reunion when we are with Jesus too. And Oh what a happy and glorius day that will be. To see all our loved ones again. I can hardly wait.

I have to stop thinking of Nathan's suffering because he is not suffering any more. It's so hard to stop those memories popping up. I have to chase them away and think of Nathan being happy and well with Jesus.

Thank you sis for your words of comfort too :hug:.

[Debra R]

Hello Debora

You don't know me but I am a friend of projectpeter. He and I spoke of you son often when he would travel to St Luis to visit him. I followed attentively what was happening via the web page and I prayed for all of you everyday.

I want to express to you today that God is a comforting God and His Holy Spirit is ever present to bring healing to your hurting lives. The void is great and only He cam fill that void with the Hope we all have to one day see our loved ones again. I trust that you beleive that your son is in a place where there is no more pain and sorrow.

You ask a question that many have asked when they have experienced what you have. I am reminded of the story of David when his son died. David fasted while his son was alive and he prayed for his healing but God's plans are always soverign. David's son died and after he died, David sat down at the table and broke his fast and aked his servant to bring him food. His servants didn't understand why David would do such an insensitive thing. David's responce was that while his son was alive he fasted and prayed but God had His way, now his son is gone so why should he contiue mourning for a situation that cannot be reversed. But David always remembered his son.

I say this to you today, that there will be a time when you only will know that the mourning is to end. This time will come after you have surrendered everything to the Lord in regards to your dreams and hopes you had for you son. It may take weeks or months but there will be a time when your heart will witness to you through the Holy Spirit that "it is finished".

Remember Mary, the mother of Jesus? She mourned for her loss and didn't even realize that it was her Lord who was talking to her in the garden. When her eyes were open to who he was that she was filled with awe. You too dear Debora will come to that place of peace when you have this assurance that God is in control and that Nathan is right there playing with him. I know that you know that already, but "knowing" is the beginning of the journey towards the place of letting go. Mary had to let go and allow Jesus to ascend inot heaven. We all need to let go at some time.

There is a wonderful plan here. I don't know what it is but all things work together for His good.

I am praying for you and believing with you for that day!

(former pastor and your friend)

Thank you amazzin, Nathan is my grandson. We were as close as if he were my son though. Thank you for your encouraging words :hug:.

[Debra R]

Just a few minutes ago I got a phone call from a dear friend. She asked me how I was. As we were talking she mentioned that my mourning could affect my witness. We have to live and show others our hope. We shouldn't mourn overly long. She reminded me that I should be happy for Nathan that he is well and running around in heaven enjoying being with Jesus. She said I should do my mourning in private and show my trust and strength in God to those around me. I guess she is right.

Thank you all again so much for your words of comfort and your prayers. :hug:

Love,
Deb

[cheech]

Thank you for sharing Cheech :hug:
It is so hard getting adjusted to a new way of life without our loved ones here with us. I have been keeping myself so busy, working like a mad woman :D. And then I'm so tired I can't even think straight.

Trying to chase thoughts away. I keep remembering his last day with us.
Kneeling beside his bed telling him how much we loved him. Tina had said he wasn't breathing and as I watched him his lips moved as if he was trying to say something and then that was it I knew he was gone. The hospice nurse had just come in and after she checked him she began to take off the IV's and the catheter and then gave him to Tina to hold. She held him awhile and then let me hold him. His little body was still warm. I held him with tears streaming down my face my heart breaking into little pieces. I continued to hold him until his body started growing cold.
I lost my mom to cancer in 1992 and it was bad but watching Nathan die almost killed me. I remember the day of Nathan's funeral on the way to the cemetary Joe and I were listening to Agnes Dei and I was singing to the Lord and I tell you I know God got me through the funeral service and at the cemetary, because sitting by his casket at the cemetary I honestly thought I was going to keel over and die right beside Nathan. Our God did give me strength and He continues to give me strength. I know I couldn't make it without Him, not at all.

I know I need to keep focusing on our reunion when we are with Jesus too. And Oh what a happy and glorius day that will be. To see all our loved ones again. I can hardly wait.

I have to stop thinking of Nathan's suffering because he is not suffering any more. It's so hard to stop those memories popping up. I have to chase them away and think of Nathan being happy and well with Jesus.

Thank you sis for your words of comfort too :hug:.

:hug::cry::hug::cry::hug::cry::hug::cry::hug::cry:

It's ok to grieve Deb...keeping it in is only worse...that's when the difficulties will really hit. We all go through a mourning processes...it's a natural process for humans. You are fortunate that you know the way to peace and comfort after tragedy though. There are many who don't. This is where your experience will come in. God will surely use you and your daughter to help others who are suffering through the same pain :hug:.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows
2 Cor 1:3-5


God bless you all...may God's healing power shine down on all of you and heal your aching hearts :hug:.

[moonglow]

Just a few minutes ago I got a phone call from a dear friend. She asked me how I was. As we were talking she mentioned that my mourning could affect my witness. We have to live and show others our hope. We shouldn't mourn overly long. She reminded me that I should be happy for Nathan that he is well and running around in heaven enjoying being with Jesus. She said I should do my mourning in private and show my trust and strength in God to those around me. I guess she is right.

Thank you all again so much for your words of comfort and your prayers. :hug:

Love,
Deb

Debra...I haven't read every single post on here yet...was scrolling through and saw this one and I have to say I strongly disagree with what this person told you. Telling someone to mourn in private is just plain wrong and frankly rather insenitive actually....

As far as I know no where in the bible does it say we have to be joyful and cheery all the time! In fact when reading through it I don't recall anyone in the bible in a constant state of joyfullness. The other night on the way home from bible study I was listening to one of the pastors on it talking about how David lost one of his sons (not the baby..but a grown one) I can't remember the son's name but he had rebelled against David and plotted to overthrown his throne. All through it all David never stopped loving his son though. When it finally came down to his son's army fighting against David, David begged his men to not kill his son. His son's army lost badly and his son was fleeing through the woods on a donkey and apparently had long hair and it got caught in the limbs of a tree and the donkey went off with out him. So here he was hanging by his hair on a tree.

One of David's men went and shot him with arrows and killed him and he was taken down and buried someplace. Then someone else in a round about way told David his son was dead. David mourned bitterly over the loss of his son.

Job mourned openly when he lost all his children and everything he had. Jesus wept in public over His friend that died even though He knew He would soon bring him back to life! The bible tells us to mourn with those that mourn..to comfort them...support them...be there for them. Nothing is said about hidding our grief though...let alone because it would be a bad witness...

Being a Christian doesn't stop us from being human beings. Being a Christian does give us hope, yes...but death still hurts. Death still stings! Its a fact of life and even the bible says so. I would think it would be a bad witness to tell others they have to hide their true feelings if they become a Christian actually...plus its not healthy to do that.

When my dad died when I was 11, because of what another family member said about how I needed to be strong for my mother...I stuffed my feelings. I wouldn't cry in front of her....I would hold it in and when it got where I couldn't stand it anymore I would go outside or in the garage then cry with my hand over my mouth in fear she would hear me and then she would fall apart! I can't tell you how much damage that did to me...it made the grieving process just go on and on and on much longer then it should have because I was fighting to not grieve! Its just not normal to stuff it like that..

Think of different characters in the bible...they were all human like us, with the same emotions as us...they were real people. They had their good times of course and their joys and happiness...but they also suffered and had no problems expressing it.

Psalm 6:6
I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.

Psalm 39:12
“Hear my prayer, O LORD,And give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner, as all my fathers were.

Psalm 42:3
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?”

Look I did a search starting at Psalms on the word 'tears'...click on this link to see all the Psalms where David mourns and crys to the Lord! He had no problems expressing it. Neither him or others.

http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/?search=tears&version1=50&searchtype=all&wholewordsonly=yes&spanbegin=23&spanend=73

Now I have a song I would like you to listen too...titled "Praise Him in the Storm"...its on Youtub so has pictures with it. Only watch and listen when you think you can handle it. Its a song about praising God in the trials and tribulations we go through. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEacEP4spG4&mode=related&search=

It will make you cry...but I pray it brings you closer to our Lord so He can comfort you, which I pray He does for you all the time.

God bless

[Debra R]

Debra...I haven't read every single post on here yet...was scrolling through and saw this one and I have to say I strongly disagree with what this person told you. Telling someone to mourn in private is just plain wrong and frankly rather insenitive actually....

As far as I know no where in the bible does it say we have to be joyful and cheery all the time! In fact when reading through it I don't recall anyone in the bible in a constant state of joyfullness. The other night on the way home from bible study I was listening to one of the pastors on it talking about how David lost one of his sons (not the baby..but a grown one) I can't remember the son's name but he had rebelled against David and plotted to overthrown his throne. All through it all David never stopped loving his son though. When it finally came down to his son's army fighting against David, David begged his men to not kill his son. His son's army lost badly and his son was fleeing through the woods on a donkey and apparently had long hair and it got caught in the limbs of a tree and the donkey went off with out him. So here he was hanging by his hair on a tree.

One of David's men went and shot him with arrows and killed him and he was taken down and buried someplace. Then someone else in a round about way told David his son was dead. David mourned bitterly over the loss of his son.

Job mourned openly when he lost all his children and everything he had. Jesus wept in public over His friend that died even though He knew He would soon bring him back to life! The bible tells us to mourn with those that mourn..to comfort them...support them...be there for them. Nothing is said about hidding our grief though...let alone because it would be a bad witness...

Being a Christian doesn't stop us from being human beings. Being a Christian does give us hope, yes...but death still hurts. Death still stings! Its a fact of life and even the bible says so. I would think it would be a bad witness to tell others they have to hide their true feelings if they become a Christian actually...plus its not healthy to do that.

When my dad died when I was 11, because of what another family member said about how I needed to be strong for my mother...I stuffed my feelings. I wouldn't cry in front of her....I would hold it in and when it got where I couldn't stand it anymore I would go outside or in the garage then cry with my hand over my mouth in fear she would hear me and then she would fall apart! I can't tell you how much damage that did to me...it made the grieving process just go on and on and on much longer then it should have because I was fighting to not grieve! Its just not normal to stuff it like that..

Think of different characters in the bible...they were all human like us, with the same emotions as us...they were real people. They had their good times of course and their joys and happiness...but they also suffered and had no problems expressing it.

Psalm 6:6
I am weary with my groaning; All night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears.

Psalm 39:12
“Hear my prayer, O LORD,And give ear to my cry; Do not be silent at my tears; For I am a stranger with You, A sojourner, as all my fathers were.

Psalm 42:3
My tears have been my food day and night, While they continually say to me, “Where is your God?”

Look I did a search starting at Psalms on the word 'tears'...click on this link to see all the Psalms where David mourns and crys to the Lord! He had no problems expressing it. Neither him or others.

http://www.biblegateway.com/keyword/?search=tears&version1=50&searchtype=all&wholewordsonly=yes&spanbegin=23&spanend=73

Now I have a song I would like you to listen too...titled "Praise Him in the Storm"...its on Youtub so has pictures with it. Only watch and listen when you think you can handle it. Its a song about praising God in the trials and tribulations we go through. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEacEP4spG4&mode=related&search=

It will make you cry...but I pray it brings you closer to our Lord so He can comfort you, which I pray He does for you all the time.

God bless

Thank you Julie :hug:,

I guess my friend thought she was helping. She was worried about me.
Thank you for your words. Thank you for the link for the scripture those were great. I had forgotten about Jeremiah. I remember he was called the weeping prophet. All the scripture everyone shared has really helped. Thank you all. :hug:

That was a beautiful song Julie thank you. Praise you in this storm by Casting Crowns, I hadn't heard that one before. I'm going to have to buy it. It was beautiful. Sometimes just singing to the Lord helps.
That song Agnus Dei by Third Day
Alleliua, Alleliua
For our Lord God Almighty reigns
Alleliua, Alleliua
For our Lord God Almighty reigns
Holy, Holy
Are You Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
You are Holy
Holy are You Lord God Almighty
Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Lamb
Amen

As I was singing that song on the way to Nathan's funeral I know that God gave me strength. I felt Him carrying me. Though it was several months before I could listen to that song again.

Thank you all for your words of comfort, your emails, your understanding, thank you for being here for me. God bless you all greatly. :hug:
Love, Deb

[god_guided_guy]

Debra, I love that song by third day it is one of those songs I just love...try listening to nicole C mullens, my redeemer lives...

[Mercy4Me]

Dear sister Debra,
I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts with you that helped me get through the death of my mother and my sister. They both died at home, while we were with them.

First of all, especially with my mother, I found the thoughts of those last few days and hours were just too much to bear. I had to force my mind away from them when they came, until the pain lessened a bit. Actually, even now, seven years later, it's still difficult to think of that time. To be honest, I try not to...

Secondly, a thought that helped me so much when the sorrow started to become overwhelming, is that she was not mourning for us...she was in such a joyous place. She wasn't longing to be here, as we were longing for her to be...I'm not sure why I found that such a source of peace, but somehow it was. I think, for me, a part of the grief was what she would be missing...seeing the grandchildren she loved so much grow up...but knowing that she was so much happier there than here helped with this aspect of my grief.

I have never lost a child or grandchild; I know that what you are going through is different...I just pray that in the midst of the sorrow that you will find the peace of the Prince of Peace.

"Put thou my tears into thy bottle; are they not in thine book?" Ps. 56:8 God sees every tear...He will not forget you.

Lastly, I received a poem on a card that I carried for a long time in my wallet...I read and re-read it over and over during the first year or two. I'll post it here...again, I'm not quite sure what about it was so comforting, but somehow the phrase "locked and set in time" kept going over and over in my mind. I think because God (although the poem doesn't mention Him) is the One who has these days in His hands...and there is a promise that joy will come in the morning.

I also want to post the words of a hymn that has been a great comfort to me. Rich Mullins did a beautiful rendition of it.

May God be with you...



Time Will Ease the Hurt


The sadness of the present days
Is locked and set in time,
And moving to the future
Is a slow and painful climb.
But all the feelings that are now
So vivid and so real
Can’t hold their fresh intensity
As time begins to heal.
No wound so deep will ever go
Entirely away;
Yet every hurt becomes
A little less from day to day.
Nothing else can erase the painful
Imprints on your mind;
But there are softer memories
That time will let you find.
Though your heart won’t let the sadness
Simply slide away,
The echoes will diminish
Even though the memories stay.

~ Bruce B. Wilmer ~



ALL THE WAY MY SAVIOUR LEADS ME
All the way my Saviour leads me;
what have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His faithful mercies,
Who through life has been my guide?
Heavenly peace, divinest comfort,
Ere by faith in Him to dwell,
For I know, whate'er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.


All the way my Saviour leads me,
He cheers each winding path I tread..
He gives me strength for every trial,
And He feeds me with the living bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
and my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the rock before me,
Lo! a spring of joy I see.


And all the way my Saviour leads me,
Oh the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father's house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of the day,
This my song, through endless ages,
"Jesus led me all the way."

[beachbum53]

Deb, I am sure your friend was only trying to help;I just hope you don't 'stuff' your mourning. It has been less than six months and that is almost like yesterday at least to me for what you must be going through. Even though you know Nathan is happy now and with Jesus it does not lessen how very much you miss him and yearn for him. I just ask that you keep talking about him and your feelings to us and everybody else; personally I think it's the best thing. Your strength is amazing to me and I'm sure all here. I know that strength comes from you knowing that he is with Jesus and you will see and hold him again but the heartache you have is going to be there; I know it will lessen with time but this is much too soon to be thinking 'you should be better'. You mourning him does not make you any less of a witness to others,if anything people will wonder where your strength comes from. I know it has inspired me. It saddens me just looking at his precious little face,and I can't imagine what you all are going through. I'm not good with words but know we all care and love you. Give your daughter a big hug from us all.

Laura :hug: :kiss:

[Debra R]

Dear sister Debra,
I just wanted to share a couple of thoughts with you that helped me get through the death of my mother and my sister. They both died at home, while we were with them.

First of all, especially with my mother, I found the thoughts of those last few days and hours were just too much to bear. I had to force my mind away from them when they came, until the pain lessened a bit. Actually, even now, seven years later, it's still difficult to think of that time. To be honest, I try not to...

Secondly, a thought that helped me so much when the sorrow started to become overwhelming, is that she was not mourning for us...she was in such a joyous place. She wasn't longing to be here, as we were longing for her to be...I'm not sure why I found that such a source of peace, but somehow it was. I think, for me, a part of the grief was what she would be missing...seeing the grandchildren she loved so much grow up...but knowing that she was so much happier there than here helped with this aspect of my grief.

I have never lost a child or grandchild; I know that what you are going through is different...I just pray that in the midst of the sorrow that you will find the peace of the Prince of Peace.

"Put thou my tears into thy bottle; are they not in thine book?" Ps. 56:8 God sees every tear...He will not forget you.

Lastly, I received a poem on a card that I carried for a long time in my wallet...I read and re-read it over and over during the first year or two. I'll post it here...again, I'm not quite sure what about it was so comforting, but somehow the phrase "locked and set in time" kept going over and over in my mind. I think because God (although the poem doesn't mention Him) is the One who has these days in His hands...and there is a promise that joy will come in the morning.

I also want to post the words of a hymn that has been a great comfort to me. Rich Mullins did a beautiful rendition of it.

May God be with you...



Time Will Ease the Hurt


The sadness of the present days

Is locked and set in time,
And moving to the future
Is a slow and painful climb.
But all the feelings that are now
So vivid and so real
Can’t hold their fresh intensity
As time begins to heal.
No wound so deep will ever go
Entirely away;
Yet every hurt becomes
A little less from day to day.
Nothing else can erase the painful
Imprints on your mind;
But there are softer memories
That time will let you find.
Though your heart won’t let the sadness
Simply slide away,
The echoes will diminish
Even though the memories stay.

~ Bruce B. Wilmer ~



ALL THE WAY MY SAVIOUR LEADS ME
All the way my Saviour leads me;
what have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His faithful mercies,
Who through life has been my guide?
Heavenly peace, divinest comfort,
Ere by faith in Him to dwell,
For I know, whate'er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.


All the way my Saviour leads me,
He cheers each winding path I tread..
He gives me strength for every trial,
And He feeds me with the living bread.
Though my weary steps may falter,
and my soul athirst may be,
Gushing from the rock before me,
Lo! a spring of joy I see.


And all the way my Saviour leads me,
Oh the fullness of His love!
Perfect rest to me is promised
In my Father's house above.
When my spirit, clothed immortal,
Wings its flight to realms of the day,
This my song, through endless ages,
"Jesus led me all the way."











Thank you Mercy4Me :hug:,
I loved that poem. That song was beautiful too. It made me think of another song I used to love but I can't think of all the lyrics now. I'll have to find it. I used to sing it all the time.

Thank you dear sister :hug:

[Debra R]

Deb, I am sure your friend was only trying to help;I just hope you don't 'stuff' your mourning. It has been less than six months and that is almost like yesterday at least to me for what you must be going through. Even though you know Nathan is happy now and with Jesus it does not lessen how very much you miss him and yearn for him. I just ask that you keep talking about him and your feelings to us and everybody else; personally I think it's the best thing. Your strength is amazing to me and I'm sure all here. I know that strength comes from you knowing that he is with Jesus and you will see and hold him again but the heartache you have is going to be there; I know it will lessen with time but this is much too soon to be thinking 'you should be better'. You mourning him does not make you any less of a witness to others,if anything people will wonder where your strength comes from. I know it has inspired me. It saddens me just looking at his precious little face,and I can't imagine what you all are going through. I'm not good with words but know we all care and love you. Give your daughter a big hug from us all.

Laura :hug: :kiss:

Thank you Laura :hug:,
I will probably see Tina tomorrow and I will give her a hug and tell her everyone here is thinking of her. I talked to her earlier this evening. She was a little excited, she has a new job. She'll be working at Target department store. I think she'll enjoy that.
I better get to sleep. Talk to you later. Love you :hug:,
Deb

[threebigrocks]

I know it's off topic, but give Tina an extra hug for me on the new job! The employee discount doesn't hurt either! ;) :hug:

[Debra R]

The past few days had been tough again. I can't describe the pain, only that my heart feels like a stone in my chest, so heavy. Seems there is always something that triggers it and struggling with missing our sweet Nathan is at times so hard to deal with. I was rereading the scripture you all posted and it gave me some comfort once again. So I wanted to give my thanks again for you all. :hug: God bless you.

[karenoka27]

Debra, when I saw Nathan's picture today, it just made me cry. I loved that little boy and yet I never met him. He had a great impact on my life, his enthusiasm for life, his smile, he just made me happy. His life many times caused me to go before the Lord bringing me closer to our God.
You were so much closer than any of us here. It takes time to heal. How precious is your tender heart towards Nathan. But you know what Debra, I can still see him smiling, more filled with life than he ever had while here on earth. Just thinking about that, he still makes me happy!

Praying for you Debra...don't try to figure out how long you should mourn..God heals the open wound, and He will...in time.

[JesusRocks]

I know Debra..I can feel your pain all the way here ....and I am at a loss of how to help you but wish I could make all that pain go away. I wish I was close by I would come sit with you and cry and eat....and cry and talk and pray...but on a computer....its hard to be a good friend and do the things I wish I could do......know I miss you..I UNDERSTAND and I hurt with you ...and I know you are in pain :cry: and I hurt too knowing you hurt cause I really love ya sis ....:hug: :pray:

[moonglow]

The past few days had been tough again. I can't describe the pain, only that my heart feels like a stone in my chest, so heavy. Seems there is always something that triggers it and struggling with missing our sweet Nathan is at times so hard to deal with. I was rereading the scripture you all posted and it gave me some comfort once again. So I wanted to give my thanks again for you all. :hug: God bless you.

I image is the coming of spring triggering alot of this fresh pain....we tend to connect seasons with a heavy loss I think. And you got so much bad news off and on your saddness may be in that too.

I am praying the Lord comforts you!

God bless

[stabalizer]

I had wanted to find out what the bible says about mourning and how long they mourned for their loved ones who had died. I feel as if I will mourn forever for our Nathan. It still hurts very badly. I just had the thoughts to look up mourning in the bible. I did find where they mourned thirty days for Moses but I really didn't find what I was looking for. Which I didn't really know what it is I'm looking for either. Anyway I ran across this in Isaiah and I thought this was very beautiful..............


Isaiah 60:19 " The sun shall no longer be your light by day,
Nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you;
But the LORD will be to you an everlasting light,
And your God your glory.

20 Your sun shall no longer go down,
Nor shall your moon withdraw itself;
For the LORD will be your everlasting light,
And the days of your mourning shall be ended.

21 Also your people shall all be righteous;
They shall inherit the land forever,
The branch of My planting,
The work of My hands,
That I may be glorified.



If you guys can find more verses about mourning I would appreciate it.
Thanks :hug:

I'm so sorry for your loss, you are not alone.

You are in prayer.

[Debra R]

Debra, when I saw Nathan's picture today, it just made me cry. I loved that little boy and yet I never met him. He had a great impact on my life, his enthusiasm for life, his smile, he just made me happy. His life many times caused me to go before the Lord bringing me closer to our God.
You were so much closer than any of us here. It takes time to heal. How precious is your tender heart towards Nathan. But you know what Debra, I can still see him smiling, more filled with life than he ever had while here on earth. Just thinking about that, he still makes me happy!

Praying for you Debra...don't try to figure out how long you should mourn..God heals the open wound, and He will...in time.

Thank you Karen :hug:,
I love that picture of Nathan. You can see his sweet personality in his face, his eyes, his smile. All of his pictures capture his personality so well.

I can picture how happy he must be with Jesus. It is so hard though, I wish he was still here with us, so bad. A year ago today is when he went in the hospital and stayed until we brought him home to die. Those memories are hard to cope with. Maybe when we get through the next few months it will get a little easier. Thank you my dear sister :hug:. Love you. :hug:

[Debra R]

I know Debra..I can feel your pain all the way here ....and I am at a loss of how to help you but wish I could make all that pain go away. I wish I was close by I would come sit with you and cry and eat....and cry and talk and pray...but on a computer....its hard to be a good friend and do the things I wish I could do......know I miss you..I UNDERSTAND and I hurt with you ...and I know you are in pain :cry: and I hurt too knowing you hurt cause I really love ya sis ....:hug: :pray:

Thank you my sweet sister :hug:. Love you :hug:.

[Debra R]

I image is the coming of spring triggering alot of this fresh pain....we tend to connect seasons with a heavy loss I think. And you got so much bad news off and on your saddness may be in that too.

I am praying the Lord comforts you!

God bless

:hug: Thank you my dear sister. Love you. :hug:

[karenoka27]

debra, i hope it helps in some very small way that we are here for you.

[Debra R]

I'm so sorry for your loss, you are not alone.

You are in prayer.

Thank you dear brother, love you. :hug:

[Debra R]

debra, i hope it helps in some very small way that we are here for you.

:hug: It does Karen, it really does.

[Debra R]

Thank you Mercy4Me :hug:,
I loved that poem. That song was beautiful too. It made me think of another song I used to love but I can't think of all the lyrics now. I'll have to find it. I used to sing it all the time.

Thank you dear sister :hug:


This is what the song you posted made me think of. We used to sing it all the time at church. I love this..........

Oh God, You are my God
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
Oh God, You are my God
Oh God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And Step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days


Where You lead me
I will follow
With Your rod and staff to guide me
Over the mountains
Through the valleys
You will bring my heart through safely
And I will rest
In the shadow of Your wing
My soul follows hard after Thee
Oh my God
You are my keeper
And You have everything I need
You're my shepherd
My soul follows hard after Thee
My soul follows hard after Thee

[Faithin1]

My dear sister, I can't say that I know your pain, because no one but Jesus truly knows how you feel. I have had to bury a child, and although my heart ached, it was nothing compared to your pain. My son was stillborn, so I didn't have the memories you have, nor the relationship of mother and son. My heart truly aches for you. I have a son who is 15, and I can't imagine my life without him. I can't even allow myself to think of it. However, I do know the pain of losing someone very dear, for I lost my dear brother last year. I don't think a day passes without thinking of him. It was very difficult during holidays and the 1st of each significant date. The first Easter, Thanksgiving, Christmas and his birthday. My first birthday without him...he never missed calling me. How strange it felt to not get that call.

I know that there are really no words to adequately comfort you. Believe me, there is no timetable for grief. Don't let anyone tell you that there is a period after which you should feel better. Yes, time does ease the pain, but only the love of God can heal the pain.

My prayers are with you and your family. May God comfort you and heal your aching heart.

Your Sister in Christ

[Debra R]

Not doing well. It has been extremely difficult these past weeks. And as it comes closer to the anniversary date of Nathan's death it grows harder.
I have to pray very hard every day to have strength to get through the day. Can't concentrate very well on anything. Trying to suppress the pain because it is still too unbearable. Even though I suppress it as best I can I feel it in my dreams. It is a horrible horrible pain.

I miss our sweet boy so very much.

If not for our God I don't know what I would do.

[Befaithful]

:pray: :pray: :pray:

“But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief.” Job 16:5

‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord,” Isaiah 54:10.

A grief so overwhelming The heart would almost Break
and at that time the Lord did something powerful he gave this parent words that were penned for a song. It was a way for them to describe and release it to the Lord. I have put the song below the story of this person, I pray that it will minister healing to your heart.

In 1871, tragedy struck Chicago as fire ravaged the city. When it was all over, 300 people were dead and 100,000 were homeless. Horatio Gates Spafford was one of those who tried to help the people of the city get back on their feet. A lawyer who had invested much of his money into the downtown Chicago real estate, he'd lost a great deal to the fire. And his one son (he had four daughters) had died about the same time. Still, for two years Spafford--who was a friend of evangelist Dwight Moody--assisted the homeless, impoverished, and grief-stricken ruined by the fire.

After about two years of such work, Spafford and his family decided to take a vacation. They were to go to England to join Moody and Ira Sankey on one of their evangelistic crusades, then travel in Europe. Horatio Spafford was delayed by some business, but sent his family on ahead. He would catch up to them on the other side of the Atlantic.

Their ship, the Ville de Havre, never made it. Off Newfoundland, it collided with an English sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and sank within 20 minutes. Though Horatio's wife, Anna, was able to cling to a piece of floating wreckage (one of only 47 survivors among hundreds), their four daughters--Maggie, Tanetta, Annie, and Bessie--were killed. Horatio received a horrible telegram from his wife, only two words long: "saved alone."

Spafford boarded the next available ship to be near his grieving wife,
When he came near the area where the ship with His daughters had died it is said that he was inspired to pen the song below. When he finally met up with his wife and they met up with Dwight Moody. "It is well," Spafford told him quietly. "The will of God be done."

Though reports vary as to when he did so, Spafford was led during those days of surely overwhelming grief to pen the words to one of the most beautiful hymns we know.

Who can say what it is about life that leads us to such a peace ... like a river. Who can say what ingredients it takes, for this person or that, that transforms such overwhelming sadness into personal peace, or brings healing, or leads our souls to a new depth, or compassion. Perhaps the answers lie in the heart. And for each one, whatever the answer is, it must come in a kind of unapproachable solitude with our Lord.

In the deepest recesses of your heart I pray the Lord will reveal His peace and assurance that one day you will see your son again. With my heart next to yours I pray you know you are not alone.:pray:

PEACE LIKE A RIVER

When peace like a river, attendeth my way;
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

He lives--oh, the bliss of this glorious thought;
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more.
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Oh my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

And, Lord, haste the day when our faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trumpet shall sound, and the Lord shall descend;
Even so, it is well with my soul...

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

~~Horatio Gates Spafford
[1873]:pray:

[fuzzy]

Ill pray that God gives u strength :)

[Debra R]

:pray: :pray: :pray:

“But my mouth would encourage you; comfort from my lips would bring you relief.” Job 16:5

‘Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken, nor my covenant of peace be removed,’ says the Lord,” Isaiah 54:10.

A grief so overwhelming The heart would almost Break
and at that time the Lord did something powerful he gave this parent words that were penned for a song. It was a way for them to describe and release it to the Lord. I have put the song below the story of this person, I pray that it will minister healing to your heart.

In 1871, tragedy struck Chicago as fire ravaged the city. When it was all over, 300 people were dead and 100,000 were homeless. Horatio Gates Spafford was one of those who tried to help the people of the city get back on their feet. A lawyer who had invested much of his money into the downtown Chicago real estate, he'd lost a great deal to the fire. And his one son (he had four daughters) had died about the same time. Still, for two years Spafford--who was a friend of evangelist Dwight Moody--assisted the homeless, impoverished, and grief-stricken ruined by the fire.

After about two years of such work, Spafford and his family decided to take a vacation. They were to go to England to join Moody and Ira Sankey on one of their evangelistic crusades, then travel in Europe. Horatio Spafford was delayed by some business, but sent his family on ahead. He would catch up to them on the other side of the Atlantic.

Their ship, the Ville de Havre, never made it. Off Newfoundland, it collided with an English sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and sank within 20 minutes. Though Horatio's wife, Anna, was able to cling to a piece of floating wreckage (one of only 47 survivors among hundreds), their four daughters--Maggie, Tanetta, Annie, and Bessie--were killed. Horatio received a horrible telegram from his wife, only two words long: "saved alone."

Spafford boarded the next available ship to be near his grieving wife,
When he came near the area where the ship with His daughters had died it is said that he was inspired to pen the song below. When he finally met up with his wife and they met up with Dwight Moody. "It is well," Spafford told him quietly. "The will of God be done."

Though reports vary as to when he did so, Spafford was led during those days of surely overwhelming grief to pen the words to one of the most beautiful hymns we know.

Who can say what it is about life that leads us to such a peace ... like a river. Who can say what ingredients it takes, for this person or that, that transforms such overwhelming sadness into personal peace, or brings healing, or leads our souls to a new depth, or compassion. Perhaps the answers lie in the heart. And for each one, whatever the answer is, it must come in a kind of unapproachable solitude with our Lord.

In the deepest recesses of your heart I pray the Lord will reveal His peace and assurance that one day you will see your son again. With my heart next to yours I pray you know you are not alone.:pray:

PEACE LIKE A RIVER

When peace like a river, attendeth my way;
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

He lives--oh, the bliss of this glorious thought;
My sin, not in part, but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more.
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, Oh my soul.

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

And, Lord, haste the day when our faith shall be sight
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trumpet shall sound, and the Lord shall descend;
Even so, it is well with my soul...

It is well...with my soul... It is well, it is well, with my soul...

~~Horatio Gates Spafford
[1873]:pray:

Thank you :hug:,

I love that hymn. I remember Nathan listening to it with me and asking me what they were singing about. He enjoyed listening to hymns with me, he called them Jesus songs. :)

We sang that song in church this past sunday. And even though I hurt, it is well with my soul.

[Debra R]

Ill pray that God gives u strength :)


Thank you :hug:

[karenoka27]

Debra that is the hymn I want to be singing on my last breath. I want everyone around me to know at that moment it truly is..."well with my soul."

And I know that it is well with nathan's soul as well....

[Debra R]

Isaiah 61:3
To console those who mourn in Zion,
To give them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
That they may be called trees of righteousness,
The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.”

I am so thankful for my dear friends here. For all those who have written me :hug:, for your many prayers.

It has been very difficult. The sorrow and grief can really weigh you down. Sometimes it is so heavy, you are overwhelmed.
Our Lord has been speaking to me very strongly these past few days. He has spoken to me through sermons, devotionals, friends.
The devotional that a friend shared with me yesterday had brought tears.
It was on Isaiah the verse I posted above. I have always loved that verse. "To console those that mourn....To give them beauty for ashes...."

In the devotional they spoke of an exchange. Exchanging the ashes for beauty. We have to give God the ashes before He can give us the beauty.
I hadn't thought of it in that way. See I had prayed and prayed for God to help me with my grief. But I guess I was holding onto it. And I'm not saying it's easy it's not, and I am trying. God says I have to give Him my grief, my ashes, then He can give me the beauty. I have to stop dwelling on the disease, the horrible things our sweet boy went through, (thats not easy) the death of his body, the hurt of not seeing him and having him with us is still hard. But, it is better to dwell on the good times we had, the joy of having him in our lives. The great joy that he is with Jesus. The great joy that I will join them someday. And I am trying.

Thank you all so much for your care and prayers. I thank our God for you.

Love :hug:,
Deb

[Befaithful]

Thank you Debra :kiss:Bless you.:hug:

[Sherrie]

Debra, I know I don't post much on these kinds of threads. I tend to stay away from them, because of my own experiences with the passing of a loved one. Sometimes it stil hurts.

But I wanted to let you know, that it will get better. It takes time. I did not lose a grandchild, or child, but lost my 1st husband Dec. 2000. On the outward appearance I was very strong, and my appearance was shown so to be an example to others. Showing God ws holding me up, He ws my strength, and for other continually saying I knew my husband was resting in our Lord Jesus.

But on the inside, I was an emotional wreck. I think sometimes, truely, we just are suppose to mourn. I am so grateful that I did have Jesus in my life, and through this experience. He was there holding me up, and He was there hearing me, and holding me through all my tears and feeling of being lost without my husband.

The Lord showed me how to let go in the present time, and still be able to cherish the wonder time I did have with my husband. I had just felt like when my husband died; that I died. But holding my hand, He helped me to take baby steps, on showing me how to live again.

Give things time. Go ahead and mourn. You are suppose to. You are good Godly woman, stay there with the Lord, and He will lead you.

[Debra R]

:hug: Thank you Sherrie :hug:

It is so hard. There are still many unshed tears, at times they seem right at the surface ready to fall. I know without our Lord I wouldn't make it.
I treasure our God's promise that we will see our loved ones again.

Love you sis. :hug: God bless you.


Debra, I know I don't post much on these kinds of threads. I tend to stay away from them, because of my own experiences with the passing of a loved one. Sometimes it stil hurts.

But I wanted to let you know, that it will get better. It takes time. I did not lose a grandchild, or child, but lost my 1st husband Dec. 2000. On the outward appearance I was very strong, and my appearance was shown so to be an example to others. Showing God ws holding me up, He ws my strength, and for other continually saying I knew my husband was resting in our Lord Jesus.

But on the inside, I was an emotional wreck. I think sometimes, truely, we just are suppose to mourn. I am so grateful that I did have Jesus in my life, and through this experience. He was there holding me up, and He was there hearing me, and holding me through all my tears and feeling of being lost without my husband.

The Lord showed me how to let go in the present time, and still be able to cherish the wonder time I did have with my husband. I had just felt like when my husband died; that I died. But holding my hand, He helped me to take baby steps, on showing me how to live again.

Give things time. Go ahead and mourn. You are suppose to. You are good Godly woman, stay there with the Lord, and He will lead you.

[kwipex10]

how's things going, Debra? hang in there, ok?

I didn't lose a child but I lost my dad 1 1/2 years ago. for me the grief is like wound up deep inside of me. like it has never gone away, but just 'covered up' by daily activities.

there are dark nights when grief consumes me, and I struggle. vivid memories of my dad's suffering don't seem to go away.

my world has changed; i've withdrawn a lot to myself and become very introverted. my wife tries to coax me out of it, though, thank God for her.

i identify with what you say : there are still many unshed tears.

hang on in there, Debra. from me, another person 'soldiering on' amidst the grief.

[Debra R]

how's things going, Debra? hang in there, ok?

I didn't lose a child but I lost my dad 1 1/2 years ago. for me the grief is like wound up deep inside of me. like it has never gone away, but just 'covered up' by daily activities.

there are dark nights when grief consumes me, and I struggle. vivid memories of my dad's suffering don't seem to go away.

my world has changed; i've withdrawn a lot to myself and become very introverted. my wife tries to coax me out of it, though, thank God for her.

i identify with what you say : there are still many unshed tears.

hang on in there, Debra. from me, another person 'soldiering on' amidst the grief.

:cry: Thank you. I'm so sorry for your loss too :hug:.
I know what you mean. It has been a year and three months now since Nathan passed away and the wound is still there, deep down in your heart. Sometimes covered over with daily activities, work, just surviving. When you are tired and exhausted the pain surfaces and is hard to control. The memories of their suffering is so very hard to deal with. It is something you can never forget. I know what you mean about the vivid memories. There are times I can still hear Nathan telling us "I can't make my stomach stop hurting." It still breaks my heart. I guess it will take a very long time for those memories to soften. No one can know what it's like until they see someone they love suffer like that. And the worst thing is that we couldn't stop their suffering. I've been pretty tearful lately. It's like you have to go through so many milestones. The anniversaries of their deaths, their birthdays, special times of certain months, days, holidays. Things you used to do together. There is so much to deal with. It is so hard. Our lives have forever been changed. We will never be the same as we once were. I know there are times I withdraw from everyone and just have to grieve by myself. I guess we are still adjusting to being without them.
I do know that without God I couldn't make it. He does give us the strength we need for each day.

God bless you dear friend and fellow "soldier" soldiering on amidst the grief.
I am glad for the support your wife gives you. I know it would be even harder for me without my husband and family and friends.
I will pray for you too. :hug:

In Christ's love,
Debra

[Debra R]

I was reading through this thread again after so long a time. Though the sorrow is not as vivid now as then, it is still there. Still many unshed tears. Though I do feel stronger now. Actually, it's in the past few months that I've begun to feel stronger. Like I'm climbing out of the pit or valley rather. Our Lord is pulling me up. For He has been carrying me these past few years and I mean that literally. Like the foot prints in the sand poem, that's how I see it, looking back over the past several years.

I know this is an old thread but I thought the shared scriptures and wisdom here could be a comfort to someone else. And to say the many prayers prayed for my family have and are being answered. God bless you all. :hug:
Love,Deb

[quasar]

I just joined up but I see his pic in your avatar and he's just a little guy. I'm sorry that you have to go through the loss of a child. I can't imagine the pain. I lost my father 6 years ago and still mourn him. Just pray a lot, get support however you choose to (I chose therapy) and realize there is nothing wrong with grieving. No one talks about it because it's an uncomfortable subject but my therapist likened it to a magician pulling something out of a hat. Somedays, you are ok, and others, you are triggered and a big rainbow of emotions come out. It's normal and I'm so sorry about Nathan.

[Moxie]

Deb,

Thank you so much for sharing your update. I do hope others will see how God has worked--and still working in your family and will provide hope for them as well.

God Bless:hug:

[turtledove]

Debra, thanks for the update. My prayers for you today..dear friend in Christ...:pray:

I always appreciate your encouraging words on the forum too! :hug:

[GFR1718]

:pray:Ye have said, It is vain to serve GOD: and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinance , and that we have walked mournfully before the lord of hosts. MATTHEW 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted.