Jesus Does Not Allow Divorce-An Apology

[BCF]

VerticalReality

It seems to me like the only mistakes are made when man walks out of God's will and joins themselves with someone that God never intended for them to be with.

This I can agree with, and also add that I would think God would call it a sin, as far as someone getting
divorced and remarried when taking things into there own hands. Simply because they would not be doing it to Glorify God, they would be doing it to Glorify themselves.

But then again who am I

I'm just a man with an opinion about a LOVING GOD.

[Alaska]

Deut. 21:
15 If a man have two wives, one beloved, and another hated, and they have born him children, both the beloved and the hated; and if the firstborn son be hers that was hated:16 Then it shall be, when he maketh his sons to inherit that which he hath, that he may not make the son of the beloved firstborn before the son of the hated, which is indeed the firstborn:17 But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his.

Deut 24:1-4
When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

Deut. is full of places addressing what to do in certain circumstances. They start with something like "If a man" or "When a man" as above.
These were laws to Israel for that time. These were not binding absolute moral laws like, "thou shalt not steal".
Paul made reference to the law not being of faith, but the man that doeth them shall live in them. That would relate, among other things, to laws like this that served to put order to situations, not necessarily making such laws moral imperatives.

If it is reasoned that since God allowed it it must be holy and acceptable, then polygamy must be reasoned to be holy and acceptable.

The NT reveals that the law was set in place UNTIL Jesus came to bring in the NT. The NT states that the law made nothing perfect and that if perfection came by the law then there was no need for the Messiah. Jesus the eternal High Preist has changed the OT law as Paul wrote: the preisthood being changed there is made of necessity a change also of the law.

Part of the change of law was to clarify the definition of marriage and answer questions like, is it allowable to divorce. Jesus took care of this by commentinting on Gen. 2.
Mark 10:2-12 has the full answer plainly spoken. No divorce. Remarriage is adultery.
(Separation for self preservation etc. is allowable.)

[Alaska]

The following is to show that an exception clause can pertain to something closely associated to what is being addressed and not to the main point under discussion. In Matt. 5:31 The main point under discussion is divorce as it pertained to sending the wife out of the man's house as was the context of Dt. 24:1-4 which is what Matt. 5:31refers to. The next verse which possesses the exception clause, 5:32, continues in the same vein addressing the post marital divorce. [The Hebrew culture had a premarital divorce as is exemplified in what Joseph was about to do with Mary]. However, it can be seen that the exception clause in 5:32 can be understood to pertain to a closely associated aspect of what is under discussion, namely, the premarital divorce exercised in their culture.

The way that language works, it can be seen in the following grammatical parallel that an exception clause can indeed pertain to a closely associated aspect of what is being addressed.

Workers in an agricultural setting have two separate water irrigation gateways off of the same canal leading to a field which produces a cash crop. This canal is fed by a reservoir one mile away. In the winter months, the reservoir can get too high and to avoid it spilling over its embankments, the canal is filled by the reservoir and the first of the two gates off of the canal is opened so that the excess water can be drained off into the field which at that time is not planted. This procedure of emptying the reservoir is called diversion. Although irrigating during the months when the crop is growing is also a diverting of water from the same canal and could also be called a diversion, it is preferred to be called irrigation which specifies a certain type of diversion from the canal.
The word "irrigation" indicates that the diversion of water off of the canal is during the growing season and that it is from the second water gateway off of the canal.
"Diversion" indicates that the diversion is during the winter when the crop is not growing and that it is from the first water gateway off of the canal.

For the purpose of showing how language works with regard to how an exception clause can be applied or inserted into a statement, focus should be placed only on the first water gateway in the following scenario:

There is a disagreement among the workers. Some want to use the first gateway, which is used for diversion, for irrigating the growing crop since both gateways empty water into the same field. A big discussion takes place and goes on for more than an hour. Some are in favor of using the diversion gate to irrigate the crop and some oppose the idea.
Finally the old hired hand who knows more about the two gates than anyone else, shows up on the scene. He knows that the first gate used for diversion allows an uncontrollably large amount of water that will damage some of the crops. He makes the men stop arguing and delivers this message:
Whoever opens that gate, saving for diversion, causes damage to the crop: and whosoever assists in the opening of that gate will also be held responsible for the damage caused.

The discussion is not at all about using that gate for diversion, it is about using it to irrigate. Yet an exception clause, pertaining to diversion is inserted into his statement!
There is an acceptable use of that gate, for diversion, which though not the point of discussion, is made reference to as a means to indicate what is not allowed.
Using that gate for diversion is allowable. Using that gate for irrigation is not allowed.

Jesus said,
Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

It can be understood that, like the example above, what is allowable,for the cause of fornication, is made reference to as a way to indicate what is not allowed. Like the example: reference is made to what is allowable, to indicate what is not allowed. In both cases it can be said that what the exception refers to was not the point of the discussion. Though Jesus is not addressing the well known premarital divorce for fornication, exemplified in what Joseph was about to do with Mary in Matthew 1, He nevertheless refers to that type of divorce that is allowable as a means to indicate what is not allowed.
Divorce for fornication (divorce before marriage) is allowable.
Divorce from a joined lawfully married wife is not allowed.
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

[Alaska]

Exception clauses are flexible. They can refer to a side point of that which is being discussed. Jesus' exception clauses in 5:32 and 19 :9 serve the purpose of showing that his prohibition was not to the extent to prohibit the customary termination of the betrothal (engagement). It also served to make the statement that unless a man divorces his wife before he marries her, he cannot divorce her.
What God has joined together, let not man put asunder.

If their definitions of the words husband wife divorced and married were the same as ours today then the exception would not have been made because the exception pertains exclusively to the Joseph/ Mary type of divorce recorded in Matt. 1: the only book also to record the exception clauses.
People jump on the issue of how archaic definitions need to be updated. In this case, it served the flesh well to ignore the archaic definitions since the lack of understanding of those definitions and hence how the exception did NOT allow divorce for adultery has resulted in the horrible heresy of allowing divorce: allowing the putting asunder of what God has joined together.
I believe this to be a grievous and horrible crime in God's eyes. A crime pastors and ministers will not escape from when judged.

[Alaska]

Of all the listed sins of this nation, for which there has to be judgement, the desecration of marriage as committed by the church by allowing divorce must surely be in the top 3 of the list.
Almost all churches allow divorce. What an absolute horrible shame!

[JesusPhreak27]

Alaska

Im going to be honest.....I read the majority of your first post and then have skimmed through about 5 pages of posts.....so what Im going to ask may have already been discussed.

From what I have gathered you yourself have neither A. been married or obviously B. been divorced.

Now that being stated I have been divorced. My ex wife cheated on me at least once and I suspect on multiple occasions. She and I dicorced a while back. Now both of us have since remarried (to other people obviously). Towards the end of my first marriage it hd turned into a situation where it was literally unhealthy for our children for us to be around each other. Things had gotten to the point to where it came VERY close to physical altercations (by both of us) almost happened.

The question I want to ask is.....are you telling me....in your own words.... that I was supposed to stay in that situation..... put my children through that for their entire childhood?????

I am since remarried and the relationship I have with my son is the best it has EVER been. My ex-wife's relationship wiuth him is better as well. I am now in a place in my walk with Christ that I never thought was possible. My wife now has helped lead me to this point.

Is it your stance that I am living a life of perpetual sin because I divorced my ex wife?

I had a conversation with my pastor about this a while back...... he told me that even though God hates divorce He lets things happen for a certain reason. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us this. He has plans of good in store for us...... look at what Paul writes in Romans about grafting branches. Sometimes God has to remove negative parts of our lives to get us to be able to do His bidding here on earth.

Im not saying that you can get a divorce for any reason. But I absolutely refuse to believe that I am a perpetual sinner because I divorced my wife and walked away from a situation that was causing more harm for all involved then good.

I would like to hear your thoughrs on this.....

[JesusPhreak27]

Of all the listed sins of this nation, for which there has to be judgement, the desecration of marriage as committed by the church by allowing divorce must surely be in the top 3 of the list.
Almost all churches allow divorce. What an absolute horrible shame!

Read my below post and tell me that you HONESTLY still believe what you wrote......

By the same token Im curious of your stance on this:

Lets say your Pastor and his wife divorce. Should he be removed from his position? And if so why?

[itsafreegift]

No, you are NOT living in a state of perpetual sin. To say that is to make divorce the same as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.

If a Minister goes through a divorce due to the unfaithfulness of his wife, in some cases it may be wise for him to step down from his position in the church until the situation dies down. But he should never quit the ministry. The Bible says that the gifts and the callings of God are without repentence. That tells me that if God places a calling on someone's life then that calling remains intact regardless of what situations may occur.

[Alaska]

Alaska

Im going to be honest.....I read the majority of your first post and then have skimmed through about 5 pages of posts.....so what Im going to ask may have already been discussed.

From what I have gathered you yourself have neither A. been married or obviously B. been divorced.

Now that being stated I have been divorced. My ex wife cheated on me at least once and I suspect on multiple occasions. She and I dicorced a while back. Now both of us have since remarried (to other people obviously). Towards the end of my first marriage it hd turned into a situation where it was literally unhealthy for our children for us to be around each other. Things had gotten to the point to where it came VERY close to physical altercations (by both of us) almost happened.

The question I want to ask is.....are you telling me....in your own words.... that I was supposed to stay in that situation..... put my children through that for their entire childhood?????

I am since remarried and the relationship I have with my son is the best it has EVER been. My ex-wife's relationship wiuth him is better as well. I am now in a place in my walk with Christ that I never thought was possible. My wife now has helped lead me to this point.

Is it your stance that I am living a life of perpetual sin because I divorced my ex wife?

I had a conversation with my pastor about this a while back...... he told me that even though God hates divorce He lets things happen for a certain reason. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us this. He has plans of good in store for us...... look at what Paul writes in Romans about grafting branches. Sometimes God has to remove negative parts of our lives to get us to be able to do His bidding here on earth.

Im not saying that you can get a divorce for any reason. But I absolutely refuse to believe that I am a perpetual sinner because I divorced my wife and walked away from a situation that was causing more harm for all involved then good.

I would like to hear your thoughrs on this.....

You are leaving out the main thing that makes your situation sinful: the remarriage.
True, the divorce itself was a sin because divorce claims that the parties are no longer one flesh which according to Jesus is only possible if one of them dies. Lets say you only divorced and then realized you had turned the truth of God into a lie and repented of it. That is a sin already done. You could contact your wife and admit your ignorance and blasphemy and assure her that in God's eyes you are still husband and wife because you are still both alive. You could also assure her that you are not ever going to take another wife because you understand that to be committing adultery. You tell her that you are praying for reconciliation and you would forgive her because it is your duty to faithfulness to Christ to forgive.

But in ignorance for which your pastors will also have to give an answer before God, the above is probably not what happened. You were probably lied to by those thinking they were doing God service. Your conscience was seared by the doctrine of a devil that claims you can harden your heart as was permitted under Moses and not forgive. You were also brought under the delusion that a divorce in the NT terminates the status of one flesh between you and your wife when in reality only death does that.

The definition of adultery is when someone is having sex with someone other than who is their lawful spouse in God's eyes.
That is why Jesus said that to remarry is adultery because the remarriage involves sex and the sex with that new spouse, though lawful under civil law, is not with the person with whom God has recorded in His book as being the true other half/one flesh partner in the sacred institution of marriage as described in the revelation of the NT.
Whenever you have sex with the second marriage partner, you are committing adultery against your first and true wife.

Read the first paragraph of the OP and see how the "great mystery" of the married couple being part of each others own bodies is emphasised by Paul.
If your first marriage is after the pattern of Adam and Eve's, meaning neither of you had been married before, then your marriage is reckoned as that which has been joined together by God and which no man may put asunder, especially by you.

I am sincerely sorry for the pastors who will face wrath from God as those who will be damned for adultery by remarriage bring up those pastors' names who encouraged the adultery. They will be held accountable to some extent for the adultery by their heretical counsel, similarly to how the man is held accountable for causing his wife to commit adultery by divorcing her.

We are not to recompence evil for evil.
Forgive your wife. Seek reconciliation. Stay true to God and remain single until either a reconciliation is successful or until you die.
Cursed and damned in my opinion is the counsel from many pastors who will encourage you to abandon this your cross.

[threebigrocks]

Just some food for thought, as I haven't read this entire thing.

What sort of bride will be married to Christ?

Should our earthly marriages not be a shadow, a sort of mirror image, of what that will be?

If the husband is supposed to present his wife as unblemished to God, pure and without stain, and the wife to be in submission to her husband, how can we carry over the understanding of earthly marriages to what marriage to the Lamb will be like?

What room is there for divorce, unless one spouse walks away from the other? What room is there for divorce of the church from Christ, unless one walks away in unbelief?

[VerticalReality]

You are leaving out the main thing that makes your situation sinful: the remarriage.
True, the divorce itself was a sin because divorce claims that the parties are no longer one flesh which according to Jesus is only possible if one of them dies. Lets say you only divorced and then realized you had turned the truth of God into a lie and repented of it. That is a sin already done. You could contact your wife and admit your ignorance and blasphemy and assure her that in God's eyes you are still husband and wife because you are still both alive. You could also assure her that you are not ever going to take another wife because you understand that to be committing adultery. You tell her that you are praying for reconciliation and you would forgive her because it is your duty to faithfulness to Christ to forgive.

But in ignorance for which your pastors will also have to give an answer before God, the above is probably not what happened. You were probably lied to by those thinking they were doing God service. Your conscience was seared by the doctrine of a devil that claims you can harden your heart as was permitted under Moses and not forgive. You were also brought under the delusion that a divorce in the NT terminates the status of one flesh between you and your wife when in reality only death does that.

The definition of adultery is when someone is having sex with someone other than who is their lawful spouse in God's eyes.
That is why Jesus said that to remarry is adultery because the remarriage involves sex and the sex with that new spouse, though lawful under civil law, is not with the person with whom God has recorded in His book as being the true other half/one flesh partner in the sacred institution of marriage as described in the revelation of the NT.
Whenever you have sex with the second marriage partner, you are committing adultery against your first and true wife.

Read the first paragraph of the OP and see how the "great mystery" of the married couple being part of each others own bodies is emphasised by Paul.
If your first marriage is after the pattern of Adam and Eve's, meaning neither of you had been married before, then your marriage is reckoned as that which has been joined together by God and which no man may put asunder, especially by you.

I am sincerely sorry for the pastors who will face wrath from God as those who will be damned for adultery by remarriage bring up those pastors' names who encouraged the adultery. They will be held accountable to some extent for the adultery by their heretical counsel, similarly to how the man is held accountable for causing his wife to commit adultery by divorcing her.

We are not to recompence evil for evil.
Forgive your wife. Seek reconciliation. Stay true to God and remain single until either a reconciliation is successful or until you die.
Cursed and damned in my opinion is the counsel from many pastors who will encourage you to abandon this your cross.

Just curious, but what do you think it means to become one flesh with someone?

I'm also wondering why you continuously keep bumping this thread while not adding anything meaningful to it that hasn't already been stated over and over and over again . . .

If you don't have anything new or meaningful to add, why don't you just let this go?

[JesusPhreak27]

You are leaving out the main thing that makes your situation sinful: the remarriage.
True, the divorce itself was a sin because divorce claims that the parties are no longer one flesh which according to Jesus is only possible if one of them dies. Lets say you only divorced and then realized you had turned the truth of God into a lie and repented of it. That is a sin already done. You could contact your wife and admit your ignorance and blasphemy and assure her that in God's eyes you are still husband and wife because you are still both alive. You could also assure her that you are not ever going to take another wife because you understand that to be committing adultery. You tell her that you are praying for reconciliation and you would forgive her because it is your duty to faithfulness to Christ to forgive.

But in ignorance for which your pastors will also have to give an answer before God, the above is probably not what happened. You were probably lied to by those thinking they were doing God service. Your conscience was seared by the doctrine of a devil that claims you can harden your heart as was permitted under Moses and not forgive. You were also brought under the delusion that a divorce in the NT terminates the status of one flesh between you and your wife when in reality only death does that.

The definition of adultery is when someone is having sex with someone other than who is their lawful spouse in God's eyes.
That is why Jesus said that to remarry is adultery because the remarriage involves sex and the sex with that new spouse, though lawful under civil law, is not with the person with whom God has recorded in His book as being the true other half/one flesh partner in the sacred institution of marriage as described in the revelation of the NT.
Whenever you have sex with the second marriage partner, you are committing adultery against your first and true wife.

Read the first paragraph of the OP and see how the "great mystery" of the married couple being part of each others own bodies is emphasised by Paul.
If your first marriage is after the pattern of Adam and Eve's, meaning neither of you had been married before, then your marriage is reckoned as that which has been joined together by God and which no man may put asunder, especially by you.

I am sincerely sorry for the pastors who will face wrath from God as those who will be damned for adultery by remarriage bring up those pastors' names who encouraged the adultery. They will be held accountable to some extent for the adultery by their heretical counsel, similarly to how the man is held accountable for causing his wife to commit adultery by divorcing her.

We are not to recompence evil for evil.
Forgive your wife. Seek reconciliation. Stay true to God and remain single until either a reconciliation is successful or until you die.
Cursed and damned in my opinion is the counsel from many pastors who will encourage you to abandon this your cross.

OK.... simple qusestion this time. What does that make my current wife and I?

From what Im understanding in your post, its your belief that no matter what happens in a marriage (good or bad) you should forever remain married to that person?

So going by your logic -- I should have stayed married to my first wife even though A. there was no love left in the marriage and B. she told me straight out that she would cheat on me regularly if we were to stay married.

Now you seem well versed in the Scripture. Im just a simple believer who believes more then anything that God is love.

But folks like you truly scare me. You can not even half heartedly believe what you are saying my friend. There is no possible way.

When Jesus was on the earth who exactly did He walk among? Was it the sinners or the saints? Did He tell His disciples that they were to only mingle with the people who were "righteous"? Oh, no wait a minute..... I believe He said "Who needs a doctor? A man in good health or a sick man?"

God is NOT going to judge me based on a failed marriage. He is NOT going tosay "No Heaven for you because you didnt stay in a situation that was bad for you and your children" Nor are those actions going to determine my place in Heaven. I will be judged on what I did with my talents and my time He aloows me.

You seem to be (and please all forgive me for my bluntness) a beat someone over the head with your Bible Holier then thou Christian. Now I dont know you personally but just reading your posts that is the impression I get. You feel the need to live by the Law. There is no more Law. It has been completed. We are to live in love. Love one another the way Christ loves us. Are you doing that by telling others that they are sinners because they had a divorce? Who are we to judge anyone? Who are you to tell me that I should NEVER remarry?

I used to be a lot like you my friend. But God has opened my eyes to the one aspect of this relationship that many Christians are missing.....grace. Im walking in grace. Romans 8:1 states: There is no condemnation for those united in Christ Jesus. Im united in Christ. He is my Lord and Savior. I believe that He was crucified, died on the cross for my sins then three days later He rose again to walk among His followers and was then lifted into Heaven to sit on the right side of our Father.

That being said I am NOT condemned for the sins I have commited. The blood of my Savior has paid that cost. For you to tell me that I am not a good Christian because my first marriage did not work is appalling to say the least. Then for you to say that Pastors who preach and teach of God's LOVE (Look it up in Hebrews God is LOVE not condemnation and rules) is an even bigger issue.

So again I leave you with this..... Love others the way that Jesus loves us...... I mean its only part of the Greatest Commandment right?

[Alaska]

OK.... simple qusestion this time. What does that make my current wife and I?

An adulteress and an adulterer.

True love respects what Jesus declares to be truth.

[MommyTee]

oh my word..........I shake my head and I stand astonished that in some of these post and replies there is no compassion and none of the love of Christ exhibited. my word my word my word........I can not believe the utter lack of compassion and the love of Jesus in some of the replies I have read. Jesus would say "you who are without sin cast the first stone". I grew up in a home where I, my mother and my siblings were horribly abused. my dad was unfaithful and only pretended to be a believer. He robbed God and made my mother not pay tithes or else we would be punished. You are telling me my mother and father should not have been divorced! Where is the love? My sister was married for 9 years a God fearling loving woman, her husband told her and I quote "Our lives are going different ways and I do NOT want to be married to you anymore"....He walked away from their marriage and was married not long after to the woman he cheated on her with. So you are telling me, my sister only 40 years old should remain unmarried and alone for the rest of her days? where is the love? where is HIS compassion? in the words of Jesus again I say "You who are without sin cast the first stone". He does NOT like divorce I agree......but saying that someone who has remarried is a sinner refutes the love and sacrifice of the cross. Many Christians are remarried and they love and serve God with all their heart and souls.....should they then divorce their 2nd spouses and go back to the first? I think NOT. Had my parents not divorced someone in our house would have been killed by my father's anger.....I am beyond upset reading some of these posts. My God help people see that your love is greater than anything.......even divorce!

[VerticalReality]

oh my word..........I shake my head and I stand astonished that in some of these post and replies there is no compassion and none of the love of Christ exhibited. my word my word my word........I can not believe the utter lack of compassion and the love of Jesus in some of the replies I have read. Jesus would say "you who are without sin cast the first stone". I grew up in a home where I, my mother and my siblings were horribly abused. my dad was unfaithful and only pretended to be a believer. He robbed God and made my mother not pay tithes or else we would be punished. You are telling me my mother and father should not have been divorced! Where is the love? My sister was married for 9 years a God fearling loving woman, her husband told her and I quote "Our lives are going different ways and I do NOT want to be married to you anymore"....He walked away from their marriage and was married not long after to the woman he cheated on her with. So you are telling me, my sister only 40 years old should remain unmarried and alone for the rest of her days? where is the love? where is HIS compassion? in the words of Jesus again I say "You who are without sin cast the first stone". He does NOT like divorce I agree......but saying that someone who has remarried is a sinner refutes the love and sacrifice of the cross. Many Christians are remarried and they love and serve God with all their heart and souls.....should they then divorce their 2nd spouses and go back to the first? I think NOT. Had my parents not divorced someone in our house would have been killed by my father's anger.....I am beyond upset reading some of these posts. My God help people see that your love is greater than anything.......even divorce!

1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.