Linda - God is a God of new beginnings. As far as God is concerned, the past is not only forgotten and forgiven - it has never even happened! We often bash ourselves over something long after we have asked God for forgiveness. Silly us! Anyway, it is clear that you are desperately crying out to God. He hears you, Linda. He hears you loud and clear, and He is with you - now and always. He will never leave you or forsake you. Even when you are weak, He is your strength.
Originally Posted by Linda Steyn
Of course you are not perfect - no human being is. We are all 'works in progress', becoming more and more like Him, but we will only stop making mistakes when we get to heaven. There is a saying (ok, it is a cliche, but a good one): 'Salvation only takes a moment, but sanctification takes a lifetime'.
If you find it difficult to concentrate while you are reading, you could try to listen to Christian sermons over the internet (if you have internet at home). Just a suggestion. Another one is to read until you get tired, take a rest and try again. I pray that God gives you understanding when you read the Bible.
May God bless you and give you strength in this difficult time.
"For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." (NASB)