I'm having the most terrible days of my life man..and im only 16 years old!..i've been wrestling with temptation and nothing seems to work man..well let me take u back to where i was at..like a couple of weeks ago i was doin fine when I was doing real good in my christian walk livin 4 da lord,preachin him,loving him,lovn life u know just living out our great salvation..but one day things changed..I was talkin to an atheist on youtube tryna to convince him to come to christ u know tellin them the facts and showin him who christ is and what he does..so that went alright..i still didnt convert him but it was a good try tho..but later that night somethin strange happend..i started feelin guilty for what i had done and i didnt know why..so i did some reasearch on condemnation and i figured that was the problem and i solved for a couple of days..then it started haunting me with fears of death and fears of what if what i was doing was right or not..so i was worrying a while and then i started reading and prayin u know but the fears were still there..so then things just started downhill from there..I started gettiin discouraged of afraid of gettin up and keep on goin 2 school and i felt me and the lords relationship slipping like i wasnt feeling that intimate touch with him anymore..and then the fears and doubts started affecting my school work..my grades are slipping and i feel so powerless and weak and not adequate or encouraged like i used to..so i kept askin God to take it away but i felt like he wasnt even caring and usually when i asked god for somethin he either answered me then or later on when my trail or hardship finished but this time he did neither..so i figured i could way it out and kept going and my fears and doubts and discouragement started gettin worse and worse..till i started gettin these major headaches and i even almost passed out in gym 3 times..i was prayin and tellin myself i can do it and tryed to keep goin but the pain keeps growin no matter how hard i try and know it seems i'm loosing my sense of direction in life and purpose and it had me at one point even thinking about suicide..but i thought naw that wont help..but still i wasnt hearing from god and i still didnt feel that love and i'm starting gettin careless in life not caring about anything myself,others,my future or anything feeling like theres no hope 4 anyuthing..and this is coming from a dude who loved to talk to god and loved to tell others about him and was so gracious about what god has done in my life..but now it feels like i have no love and i cant love and i feel like i cant even stand firm in the faith anymore..i pray to god to help me love help me grow help me find my joy and peace in him..and no matter how hard i try it feels like i still can't..and my morals are gettin corrupted my thinking is always negative and i'm not even feeling thankful for the things that i know god gave me..it seems like my life is worthless and theres no hope for me evenn tho i know christ..i've tried seeking advice but nothing helps this pain and discomfort and negative feelings keep coming back and i'm unable to keep joy and love in my heart like i use to..I need all the help i can get cause im feeling useless and my friends are even noticing this change in me the way i act the way i think and all man..and even tho i know gods grace is suffcient i still dont see God the way i used to my picture of him is getting blurry and so is my future man i was so sure a while back but know i'm so unsure..i even faked playin sick to keep me from school because the pain hurted soo bad..somebody pray for me and ask god to help me through this i know he's here but my heart is not even feeling sensitive anymore the stories i read about jesus arent even touching me like they used i cant cry,feel,joy,or love i feel so cold and hurt too i feel like i have backslidin soo far even God can't help me man but i know thats true but i see no lettin up..i dont even see good as good anymore i feel like i goin crazy man..somebody help me!..People look up to me and ask for advice and now i cant even give it because i feel lost...

-God bless-