A Family Issue

[ohmylove]

Hello, to whoever out there who will be reading this post.
Recently in my family we have discovered the unthinkable, something I find to be a sin and ever since it has been let out there is undescribable pain in my heart. My younger brother told me he is Gay. I've been trying to show him the way of the bible and that everyone goes through temptation we just musn't give in, that is where strong will comes from. I know it says in 1Thessalonians 4:5-7 That the concerns over your brothers and sisters are gods concerns and he will take care of them. I've been trying to do that, however, the only way I can is shutting him from my life. I feel that he won't listen, he doesn't care about his life style, he thinks about himself and not the ones he is hurting.. i've lost hope. Can anyone shed some light on this issue? Maybe some advice or a personal experience?

[Mercy4Me]

Hi, ohmylove, welcome to Bible Forums!

I'm sorry to hear of the problems you are having with your brother. May I ask how old you both are? Do you both still live at home? Are your parents Christians?

I don't have any personal experience with an issue of this kind; there are others here who do, and I hope they will come by with some advice. The only advice I could give you right now would be to keep praying for your brother...don't give up praying! And don't give up loving him. You'll have to try to separate your feelings for his sinful lifestyle from your feelings for him, so that you can keep showing the love of Christ to him. Does your brother have any respect for God and the Bible? Does he acknowledge that homosexuality is a sin? At this point it will probably just drive a bigger wedge between the two of you for you to try to convince him from the Scriptures of his sins...unless his heart is tender toward God or he has a true desire to serve Him, I'm not sure it will be effective. But don't give up hope...as long as there's life, there can be hope for anyone's salvation.

Keep praying, seeking God's face, crying out to Him for strength to love your brother and be an example to him, and sharing your deep fears and sorrows with Him...He understands. He loves your brother even more than you do, and He longs for your brother to be right with Him, too. I'll pray for you and your brother, too...

[*Hope*]

There's a book I've heard of called "Someone I love Is Gay". I haven't read it but I've heard it recommended by some people that I respect. I would caution you not to cut your brother off entirely. You can disapprove and disagree with his sin, but you must balance that will love and compassion. Remember that his sin is no more severe than your own willful sins. Pray and ask God to soften his heart to the truth. There are many many people who have overcome this lifestyle. It's not impossible.

[cheech]

There is always hope! Do not shut your brother out. The best thing you can do for him is to love him and pray for him every day. We can't control what others do and I know it can become discouraging to do everything we can to make someone see the truth, but we have to remember that we are not in control...God is. By witnessing to your brother, even though you feel he doesn't care, you are planting seeds and watering them every time you talk to him. God is the one who makes those seeds grow. You must set an example and be there for him when he does ask questions. Pray for God to work on his heart every day and to shine the light on the truth for him. God is patient and works in his own time. Try not to be too hard on your brother. Right now there is a veil over his eyes just like anyone who suffers from a stronghold. We've all suffered from them. Some are stronger than others. Only God can remove them and change our hearts and renew our minds. Pray without ceasing.

1 Thess 5:17
pray without ceasing;

Romans 8:24-25
24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.

[ohmylove]

Thank you for replying, I didn't expect such quick responses.
In response to mercy4me, My brother is 18 and I am 21. I moved away from home for college and my brother still lives at home for he is in his senior year in Highschool. He wears the cross around his neck, except I cannot get him to go to church, he gets very angry when you mention God and the bible, my grandmother tried to get through to him that homosexuality is a sin and he can overcome it, you aren't born that way, many people cease temptation everyday for moral reasons, and he proceeded to call her "the holy woman" for trying. He has such hatred in his heart, he isn't even seeking God for guidance, he is listening to his friends telling him it is okay (and he's listening just like any other teenager would).

To *Hope*, thank you for the book recommendation! I will definetly check it out, and yes I have heard of people overcome this lifestyle as well, it most definetly isn't impossible and I need to get that through to my brother because he believes that once he thinks he is homosexual then it is set in stone. But it is your willpower and love for God will guide you down the correct path.

In response to Cheech, You are correct I am planting seeds and I hope everyday they will begin to grow ( we were actually talking about planting seeds in my bible study a little while ago ) .. I just hope my brother will realize that I am doing this out of love. He's giving the impression that "this is the way I am deal with it, I don't want to hear your nonsense" but I will pray everyday in hopes that he will overcome this :\

[Chimon]

Hello, to whoever out there who will be reading this post.
Recently in my family we have discovered the unthinkable, something I find to be a sin and ever since it has been let out there is undescribable pain in my heart. My younger brother told me he is Gay. I've been trying to show him the way of the bible and that everyone goes through temptation we just musn't give in, that is where strong will comes from. I know it says in 1Thessalonians 4:5-7 That the concerns over your brothers and sisters are gods concerns and he will take care of them. I've been trying to do that, however, the only way I can is shutting him from my life. I feel that he won't listen, he doesn't care about his life style, he thinks about himself and not the ones he is hurting.. i've lost hope. Can anyone shed some light on this issue? Maybe some advice or a personal experience?

Shutting him out of your life is not the way to go. Christ spent much time with sinners who were not repentant at that time. He knows where you stand, you don't need to keep telling him.

Love him. Talk to him. Spend time with him. Let him tell you about his opinions and lifestyle without you condemning it. That is not being permissive because you have already made it clear where you stand. Do life together with him, and share the gospel through your actions.

Fracis of Assisi, "Always share the gospel, and use words if necessary."

It is important during this time that his contacts with Christians are not severed. Otherwise he will not likely return tot he church.

[Emily]

I have quite a few homosexual friends and a sibling who has been "out of the closet" for a long time.

I also chime in to recommend that you NOT shut him out of your life. That is the WORST thing you can do. I would really not even broach the topic of homosexuality, unless he asks you about it. It looks like your grandma has already brought up that homosexuality is a sin, and he knows it is, hence why he gets angry at mention of the Bible and Jesus Christ. These things convict him and he doesn't like it. What you need to do is be a living example, constantly preach the gospel, and simply preach JESUS. Let them come to Jesus and the Holy Spirit will take care of the rest.

You need to realize, when it comes to homosexuals (and this is probably true of most sin), you cannot convict someone to believe that they are in sin. That is the job of the Holy Spirit. You just need to point your brother to JESUS. Love him like Jesus would love him. If he asks you what you think about homosexuality, then use that opportunity to be brutally honest with him--tell him what the bible says. Yes if you are a practicing homosexual, according to the Bible you will go to hell when you die. This is a very tough and painful message for someone to hear from a loved one, but if they ask about it then I take that as an opportunity to simply tell the Truth.

The reality is, your sin is no different from your brother's. You need to always remember this. The only difference between you and your grandma and your brother is that you and your grandma have accepted Jesus' free gift of salvation. Pray for your brother constantly. Share the gospel with him. This is a very difficult thing because there is a large homosexual community that teaches that homosexuality is ok, and it gets even scarier when you go to a Christian homosexual community that teaches that you can be Christian and practice homosexuality at the same time. Well, it doesn't matter, they can go to a church that preaches this and God's Word will not come back void. Just pray for your brother, pray pray pray and don't ever give up. Even if 10 years pass and he's even deeper into the homosexual culture than ever. Don't ever give up. God be with you as you deal with this.

Lord Jesus, save our homosexual friends and family Lord, let them come to YOU, and open their eyes to see that they are living in sin! Let them be washed by your precious blood Lord Jesus! Let them see Your Kingdom when they breathe their last breath!! Only You can make this happen Lord, by Your perfect grace and mercy Father. I pray and ask this in Your precious Name Jesus, Amen.

[Dani H]

Did Jesus cut you off when you were yet in sin? Or did He die for you?

I know what a challenge this is. My girlfriend a few years back announced that she was a lesbian. For me, it was a call of God to become more Christ-like. I learned much from the situation as I struggled and sought God in and through it. As will you.

[ohmylove]

omg i'm so sorry DaniHansen. :\ Did you try and win her back?? Don't stop losing faith in her, I believe it is undoubtebly a choice!