Hello sorry if this is a bit long but I'm very confused.
I want to believe that everything happens for a reason and I'm just now truley giving faith a chance. Meaning I love someone very much and he is with someone else now and it's very heartbreaking. I have been praying everyday for God to either reunite us or help me through this so I can live again. I have my days where I am happy and excited for the future cuz I know God will do the best for me, but I still have days where I'm sad, and that makes me scared that I am not trusting god that day and it makes me feel sadder.
Im very lonely and have never had a relationship before even though I have loved deeply a couple of people they have not loved me back. I see happy couples and get very sad cuz I want that so much.
I have always believed in Jesus and God but I just recentely surrendered to the fact he is the only one who can give me happiness but I get scared sometimes that my faith will wobble again and I'll be still alone.
I guess I'm confused because it says we have free will but it thats true how can God be in control and be guiding us.