Okay, should I go out with this guy?

[Bex4Jesus]

Okay, here's the deal - I will do whatever the majority of people think I should. This is going to be fun!!

A guy from school asked me out this past weekend. I really sorta flaked on him, leaving it up in the air whether or not I would. I told him I'd text him or something this week (we don't see each other much during the week).

About him - he's my age and a good student. He dresses well and is very smart. I have not heard any bad stories about him or anything. I know he goes out but he is not the 'partying' type, if you know what I mean.

The thing is, he's not a Christian. We talked one time about life things and he mentioned he's not sure what he believes in - he likes some of the Eastern teachings but is just 'finding his way' now.

So what do you think? I do like him, but I'm not sure whether it would go anywhere.

[ServantofTruth]

If you know how to act correctly yourself and he is aware of the bounderies which your faith sets - fine. Just keep it public, not private. Why not rope in another Christian couple? If he's really interested in you the person, he'll play ball, if he wants more he'll back off. SofTy.

[matthew94]

I wouldn't recommend 'going out' with him in any kind of romantic/dating way. Since he's not a Christian, there is no point in dating him in that away. I'd recommend hanging out with him in group settings. Get to know some of his friends and see what kind of guy he is. Be Christlike and share your faith with him and see how he responds. Then, if he becomes a Christian down the road, the romantic option is available too.

[D in Georgia]

I'm with Matthew. Don't "date" non-Christians. I lean towards the only reason to date would be to find a proper mate. God has chosen a Godly man for you. Of course this guy could become that man. He just isn't there yet.
It is heartbreaking to hear the stories of women who marry a man, have children and then begin to regret that he does not love the Lord as she does. (Or he)
Socializing in a group would be ok. Are you involved in a church? Invite him to church. D

[daughter]

You can certainly be friendly with him. But I don't think going on a "date" with him would be a good idea - not only because he's not Christian, but also because if I were him I'd be offended to find out I was treated as the object of a dare. Humm, not sure if that makes sense... but I hope you get what I mean. If you go out with someone, it should be a little more serious, perhaps, than this.

This is not to say that you should never go out with him. If he ever does become a Christian, he sounds like he'd be a very nice young man to go out with. In your position, I would be friendly with him, I would pray for him... but I'd not go out with him. He sounds like he's spiritually seeking... I'd encourage you to talk to him about Jesus, and why He makes everything different from all the "religions" and "mysticisms" in the world.

Does that help, sis?

[MrAnteater]

You should be his friend but that's it. The bible says not to become yolked to unbelievers and we should adbide by that always with close personal relationships. You cannot have a deep meaningful relationship with someone who does not accept the same truth as you and that includes Jesus first and foremost. Do not think you can starting dating him to "change" or "convert" him. It rarely happens and you will be hurt in the end.

Please take the advice here and save yourself a lot of heartache. Pray and wait for a guy you know for sure is commited to Christ from day one of the relationship.

[Bex4Jesus]

You can certainly be friendly with him. But I don't think going on a "date" with him would be a good idea - not only because he's not Christian, but also because if I were him I'd be offended to find out I was treated as the object of a dare. Humm, not sure if that makes sense... but I hope you get what I mean. If you go out with someone, it should be a little more serious, perhaps, than this.

This is not to say that you should never go out with him. If he ever does become a Christian, he sounds like he'd be a very nice young man to go out with. In your position, I would be friendly with him, I would pray for him... but I'd not go out with him. He sounds like he's spiritually seeking... I'd encourage you to talk to him about Jesus, and why He makes everything different from all the "religions" and "mysticisms" in the world.

Does that help, sis?

I'm sorry if I seemed too silly about this! I am just a dork especially when it comes to dating. I figured I haven't made wise decisions in the past so why not ask a group of strong Christians for guidance?

Sorry if I disappointed you, sis

[daughter]

Don't worry, you didn't seem like a "dork." And asking advice from other Christians is always wise. I think you'll find that we're all agreed on this one. But you know, when I was first Christian (only a few years ago) I was asking some really stupid questions... I'm glad nobody thought I was a dork! I just didn't know.

I was wondering, do you have any Christian friends in the "real" world?

[Bex4Jesus]

Don't worry, you didn't seem like a "dork." And asking advice from other Christians is always wise. I think you'll find that we're all agreed on this one. But you know, when I was first Christian (only a few years ago) I was asking some really stupid questions... I'm glad nobody thought I was a dork! I just didn't know.

I was wondering, do you have any Christian friends in the "real" world?

I thought I did but the more I listen to people here, I'm not sure. A lot of my friends say they are Christians, but honestly they pretty much all drink (at least some), and go out to clubs, and flirt with guys, and I don't think "Is he a Christian?" is a question they ask themselves when a guy asks them out. Lately I've felt...uncomfortable...with how things are, but I'm afraid of saying anything to them.

And I love this site but everything I say is out in the open. I can't even send emails or private messages or anything. I just feel like I need to spill my guts to someone. And I don't even have a church home right now. Ugh!

[MrAnteater]

I thought I did but the more I listen to people here, I'm not sure. A lot of my friends say they are Christians, but honestly they pretty much all drink (at least some), and go out to clubs, and flirt with guys, and I don't think "Is he a Christian?" is a question they ask themselves when a guy asks them out. Lately I've felt...uncomfortable...with how things are, but I'm afraid of saying anything to them.

And I love this site but everything I say is out in the open. I can't even send emails or private messages or anything. I just feel like I need to spill my guts to someone. And I don't even have a church home right now. Ugh!

You ask good questions and the Holy Spirit is guiding you away from bad situations/people. My advice for a young person is to get involved with a campus Christian orginization (assuming these are not the same people out clubbing and getting drunk that you had mentioned). Look for people not talking the talk but walking the walk. Find a new bible based church home as well and surround yourself with other belivers.

Get plugged in with the right people and soon you will find plenty of dates.

[CactusCarlos]

And I love this site but everything I say is out in the open. I can't even send emails or private messages or anything. I just feel like I need to spill my guts to someone. And I don't even have a church home right now. Ugh!

Little Sis, a lesson I've relearned recently is that we're supposed to surround ourselves with things that are of God. Get in the word daily and get involved with a church so you can fellowship and worship with fellow Christians. Keep your distance from those of this world so that you are not influenced by them.

And keep coming here!

[Bex4Jesus]

Thanks, everyone, including Anteater and CactusCarlos, you guys with silly names! I think its safe to say you all have made the right decision. The more I think about it, I know you did. I'm texting him right now to say maybe we can hang out with friends sometime. I think he'll get the message.

[RoadWarrior]

I'm late to the voting, but I agree with all the others here. The more deeply you get into your faith walk with Jesus, the more important it will be to you that your life mate walks the same path with you.

It is exceedingly hard to have fallen in love with someone who turns out to be into eastern religion, or some other such.

I have a couple of family members who went in that direction. We just keep getting further and further apart. The ones who don't choose Jesus, eventually it will be revealed that they hate Him.

Keep the public setting, don't date. Invite him to church, not as a date but so that he can see what you stand for. It is flattering to have someone like you and want to go out with you, but that excitement is risky. Only true love withstands all the tests that a Christian needs to exercise.