Her testimony/My testimony

[Connie Sue]

Before I accepted Christ as my Saviour, I had heard people say it was a peace that passes all understanding. Now I know what they meant. When everythings is going wrong, and I don't know where to turn, I go to my Father in heaven, and He directs my path. I can't see the obstacles ahead, but he can. I wouldn't trade my fellowship with Him for all the gold and silvver in this world. Anyone who is reading this and has not accepted Christ as Saviour by faith is by-passing the most presious gift, eternal life.
I am a child of the King, and He owns everything. You can have your treasures here on earth; I'll lay my treasures up in heaven. I used to say that I wouldn't go to church because I couldn't live up to salavation; but, you know, I don't have to. Jesus paid my sin debt once and for all on Calvary's cross, and I am clothed in His righteousness. If it had been up to me to earn my salvation or keep my salvation, I would have had to die and go to hell. I'm not worthy. But, thank God, it's Jesus all the way.

[Connie Sue]

Sharon, my youngest sister, was a church member and Sunday school teacher for several years. Then she realized that she was trusting in the gift of tongues and good works for salvation. On September 20,1985, she accepted the blood that Jesus shed for her and the free gift of salvation.
My mother was a church member for over fifty years. For the first time in her life, March 7, 1993 , God showed her that she was lost and on her way to hell. She accepted the grace of God and was saved March 7, 1993. My mother had depended upon the tongues and good works for salvation, for over fifty years.



Amen.

[Connie Sue]

I talk to my friend just the other night to make sure I remember how this all began. This is my story.

It was the summer of 1984, I was with my sister Debra R. I don't remember talking to her about going to church, and she doesn't remember stopping these ladies and asking if they had a bus route.
I remember we were on our way back to Deb's house when we stopped the ladies. My friend Linda told me that her and Bernice had been out looking for someone to go to church. She said when we stopped them and ask if we could ride their bus to church, they started laughing. They couldn't believe it.

If I remember this right, I the first night we went to church invited a friend to go with us. And Brother Rice's sermon was about hell. I don't remember ever hearing a sermon on hell. During the services our friend's kid's were moving around and making a bit of noise. I was so focused on what Brother Rice to really know what was going on around me. I remember a lady telling the kids to be quiet. I watched Brother Rice as he walked back and forth across podium pulling at his face as he cried out "THE WORM DIETH NOT AND THE FIRE IS NOT QUENCHED!" This frighten me.
Our friend was very upset with this lady for telling her kids to be quiet she never went back to the church. I don't remember Deb ever going back either.
After hearing this sermon on hell, I was concerned about my husband going to hell, and I would have my Bible ready to read scriptures to him when he got home. He stopped coming right home after work, so I stopped preaching to him. At the time I was preaching to him I had no idea that I wasn't saved.
Linda never failed to be at my door on a Saturday visitation. It wasn't long after I had started going to this church that Bernice came with Linda on one of the visits. This was the first time she asked me if I was saved. I avoided the question and told her about the time I spoke in tongues when I was eleven years old. Before she left she gave me the book she had written "How I Was Demon Possessed."
At first I didn't want to read the book, because it was about demons.
I remember Bernice telling me that she and her family had been in a church where they spoke in tongues. I knew what she was, was my experience was demonic, and that I really wasn't saved. I finally did read the book. It really upset me. I didn't know what to believe. I think I just got angry, I didn't want to believe that my experience wasn't from God, and that it was something demonic. I just couldn't believe it. Me and my kids went to church there off and on for about a year.
My Husband and I moved because we lived on a very busy street.
After we moved I became very depressed. My husband had always been verbally abusive. Not only that but he was never really there for me. I had just gotten to the point where I just wanted to lay down and die. I ended up going to my Mother's and before this I had never had a problem with drinking.
In fact I couldn't count the times on one hand.
My Mother and my two Brother's drank. I started drinking with them, then I started going to the bars, and staying out all night. I was getting the attention that I never really got at home as a kid or even when I was with my husband. This was nice! It was like I became someone else.

[MercyChild]

What a story................still following

[matthew7and1]

yes this is awesome

[Connie Sue]

I became someone else alright. Someone who became so consumed to satisfy a desire to just feel loved. See one of the things my husband would tell me is "No man would ever want you", I think I was just trying to prove to myself that he was wrong. I felt so trapped by my husband, he was very jealous, and controlling. I had always felt so alone. But when I got out there drinking and started mingling with people, I finally felt free, I no longer felt alone or depressed. But this new found freedom lead me to thinking of myself more than my childern. In a way I felt everything was OK. My children were with my family and they were being took care of. My husband had called me wanting me to come home, I would never go back to him after the way he had treated me.

I went to my mother's because I was so depressed, I really was in dire need of psychiatrist. The day my husband and I separated I had gone to see a doctor earlier that day because I was feeling so depression. I will never forget that day. When I left the doctor's office the rain started pouring down, I was drenched by the time I got home, and he was standing at the door when I got there. I wouldn't go in, because I was afriad of what he would do to me because I had left the kids with a sitter. I told him I wanted to go to my Mother's. He said, "OK" AND i went in and gathered our clothes and he took us to get a bus to St. Louis. I remember feeling so numb all the way there.

I can't remember just how long it took for things (me) to get completely
out of control. I thought I had it all together once things were going according to my plans. When I went out I never planned on staying out all night, but if I did I would at least try to make it in before my mother went to work. I couldn't see then, how careless and irresponsible I was.
After my husband had called wanting me to come home, I decided he should take some of the burden off me, so I sent our two sons to live with him. Not knowing I would never get to see them again. After all he did want me to come home. So I never expected what was about to happen. I guess that day will haunt me for the rest of my life. The picture of my youngest son crying as he got in the car.

[Connie Sue]

It wasn't long after my two boy were taken to their father that I got a
call from my mother, I can't remember exactly what she said. I just remember her saying they took my two daughters to their father. I was in shock. I remember saying no, no, no, no, this can't be, how could they do this to me? Just before they took my daughter too their father, I had taken a handful of pills, I believe I was suicidal then. I had my daughters with me. I knew I had to get them back to my family, because I thought I WAS GOING TO DIE, I could bearly get a word out. I called my mother and asked if she could come and get me and the daughters. She had been to the place where I was staying, so she knew where we were. there's no doubt this is why they took them away. I was so hurt, so angry. I couldn't go back to my mother's and face any of my family, after what they did. I felt like they should have handled it in a different way. They never cared much for me any way. They
like him better than they did me. cry:
It soon became very obvious when some of my family went to stay with him instead of trying to find me. If it sound like I may still have some issues
I guess I do. I don't know why I'm even trying to write this I'm feeling very depressed right now. My doctor had to change the medications I was taking for depression, so I'm not feeling very well at all. Please pray for me.
I wanted to get my testimony on here. I think I need to go to the hospital for a few days, so they can get my meds regulated and I can better by christmas. I My two daughters are supose to be here.
Anyways, where was I? OK, I got involved with a drug dealer, I had
no problems getting my drugs then. He was very sweet at first, then he became violent. This man was into drug trafficing. He had also spent time for murder, over a drug deal.

[Connie Sue]

I thought I had gotton away from him, but he found. Who else would know where I was but my family? He came right into this business my Brother had. He said he had watching me. I remember I was setting out back
by myself and a police officer come up and ask me my name, what I was doing there. He shows up after this happened.
I did go back with him, crazy I know! I'm kinda getting off track here, but to just share with you some of the things that happened to me. We were at a friends house. We were all high as usual, I just got up and walk out the door, I can't remember if I told him what I was doing or not. Anyways he comes after me. He said, he said something and I just kept walking. So he attacked me. He punched me in my mouth, and I fell to the ground. We're on the road, and he just starts stomping my head. OUCH! I had blood running down my blouse. The police station wasn't very far from where we were at, so I walk into the police station and look at them, ans just turn around and walked out and into a park that was across the street. It took them a couple of minutes to get over I'm just across the street.
I finally left him and went to a town close to my home town. Thats when I met this guy, I was with him for 2 or 3 years. I was still using drugs, by this time I had graduated to using a needle. It was when I was here that I got under conviction. I remember being terrified of going to sleep, I was afraid of dying, I was scared out of my wits. I started reading the Bible and really searching for God. I coudln't stop thinking about Bernice and Linda. I kept thinking call Bernice and go to Linda's.

[Connie Sue]

I went to Linda's she had know idea what was going on with me, and fro some reason I didn't tell her. Linda's place was like a refuge to me. Linda wasn't very happy with me keeping her up late at night. Linda had a lot of testimonies on tapes. I must have listened to them all, and I was just so hungry for the Word of God. I couldn't sleep, and I had a hundred questions. She was so angry about this, she told her sister I was keeping her up late. I can just see how the devil was working against us, and I see how God brought about the things that happened to get me just where I needed to be to get saved.
Linda would go to her brother's house every year. She was undecided
whether or not to let me stay there. She let me stay,
On a February the 15, 1991. It was a friday night, I went to an old friend of my mother's to play dominos'. It got late an dI didn't want to walk back to Linda's house, so I stayed there that night and another friend that was there gave me a ride to Linda's house the next morning. When I tried to open the front door, it was locked from the inside. I went to the back door, put the key in to ope the door and stopped before I even turned the knob. I'm thinking someone could be in there. So I walked to the Police Station. When we got to the house I took the Police Officer around the to show him the damage that had been done. I walk on around to the side of the house and look in the window and I see someone standing in the doorway of the bedroom. I get a good look at him and realize who it is. Then I yell "Open the door", he opens the door and goes back to the bedroom and gets back in bed I was so mad. We argued a few minutes about who was supposed be be there. I called him a liar and hauled off and slap him. The Police Officer was quick to say "Now that not necessary". This young guy that broke into the house was a friend of Linda's.
He starts crying and then I start crying, I go in and tell him I'm sorry and ask if there was someone I could call. He said, "yes" so I called this person, and he came and got him.

[Connie Sue]

I'm there feeling bad about slapping this young man and a scrupture comes to mind, "be angry and sin not". I wasn't sure what it meant, I just knowI was feeling terrible for being so angry with this young man, and slapping him.
I thought about calling Bernice again. So I went into the bedroom and set down on the bed and made the call. I told her all about what had happened, and she repplys with "Connie do you know you're saved?" I didn't say anything. She said, " hang up the phone and pray about it, and God will show you". She said , "You need to pin point a time when you got saved, because if you can't, you will burst hell wide open". I hung up the phone and
walked into the front room stop turned around and called her back. I didn't even have to give it a thought, I knew I had never accepted Jesus Christ as my saviour. I called her back, I begin to cry as I told her I wasn't saved. I asks her if she would come over. She said she would but it would be a couple of hours. I was a little suprised when she didn't say I will be right there.
I paced the floor, and walked to the front door then the back. I stopped
and looked out the front door, and thought about Linda asking somebody where would they go if they died right now. I remember someone saying something like what if you were in a car accident do you know where you would go? I remember thinking I can't go outside. I walked from the front door to the back door. I remember thinking I can't wait two hours, I know I'm lost and If I die right now I'm going to hell, I know what I need to do, so I got on my knees and asks God to forgive me of my sins, I can't remember exactly what I said, I just know he heard me when I asks him to forgive me.
I know I cried for a long time. At last my search was over. The search that would fill that void was Jesus. He loved me so much He died for me. I remember thinking no one has ever loved me, but Jesus loves me, He gave
his life so that I could be with Him someday. I seemed like I was on my face
for hours just crying and thanking him for loving someone like me.
I was saved February 16th, 1991, at about 10:30 Saturday morning.

I thank God for Brother Rice, who has now passed on. I thank God for sending Bernice my way, and for Linda. Linda showed me compassion and love when nobody else would. Linda and I have been friends for over 20 years. I thank God for her, she is the only Christain friend I have.

Revelation 3:20
Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.