Sometimes I'm not happy doing His work

**Christian_lady** · Dec 17th 2008, 05:12 PM

Sometimes I do His work with joy but other times I don't feel happy.
The reason I don't feel happy is because I feel I am serving Him, not myself.
I also feel as if I sacrifice myself for Him.

I know this is all a part of the Christian life and it's "suppose" to be this way but at times my emotions of frustration bottle up SO much that I basically tell God to leave me alone and for a few days I ignore Him.
This lasts for a few days and when I feel 'better' I return to Him to do His work (with frustration).

I think I am kind of stuck in the state of mind, "what's in it for me." When I do His work and I see people around me getting all the things they want, getting away with sin, experiencing happiness and joy, I feel like doing His work has no benefits (for myself).

Yes, I am serving Him and if anything I can help bring people to God (which makes me feel happy), but when I walk with Him daily I just don't feel happy. I feel frustrated because I am the one who has to be as Christ-like as possible while people around me don't try as hard and still have comfortable lives.

I would appreciate advice without:
1. Sarcasm
2. Assumptions

CL

**angelwind** · Dec 17th 2008, 05:51 PM

I often saw in my heart through the years that my heart did not seem the same as what I read about Jesus' Heart:

Then I said, "Behold, I come; in the scroll of the Book it is written of me.

I delight to do Your will, O my God. And Your law is within my heart. Ps 40:7-8

So I would pray...Lord cause me to delight to do Your will...cause me to love You with my whole heart. I do believe He is answering that prayer for me...it is slow, but it is surely happening.

The verses in Titus 2:11-14 were helpful and and eye-opener to me too...and good verses to pray over for personal growth...God's grace...teaches us, trains us...to live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age.
This means to me I must let Him work...through and by His grace in my life (not of my own strength) to live in the way that pleases Him...even in a wicked and perverse world that cares nothing for God...Jesus had the very same challenge and He did live perfectly pleasing His Father in every way...He will help us to do the same.

Titus 2:11-14

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men,
teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,

looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour Jesus Christ,
who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people,

zealous for good works.

***ServantofTruth*** · Dec 17th 2008, 06:45 PM

Are you refering to self professing Chrisitians or non believers - when you say, 'people are getting everything they want, getting away with sin, and experiencing happiness and joy.'

All i want in life is for my wife and children to be healthy and find Jesus Christ. For me to have time to read the bible and visit those who need someone/ anyone. I see people getting what THEY want and i'm glad i don't want it any more!

As for them getting away with sin - noone gets away with sin. I hope you'll think about that and pray.

Life is not easy for anyone. The pepers are full of the rich and famous who have 'everything this world' has to offer and look at the pain in their lives. We wouldn't hear so much about them if they were happy!

Joy, for me isn't the same as happiness. Joy is knowing our Lord Jesus Christ and having a hunger for the Word/ Wisdom of God in the bible. Joy is feeling sorry for those people and wanting to help them. Joy is inner peace.

May I ask what Work you do for Christ? Who gave it to you? It is likely that you are not in line with the Work our Lord wants you to do. I have been there and it just doesn't work.

Where does LOVE come into your life and faith? Do you love everyone - yes everyone - who professes faith in Jesus Christ? Do you love all non believers and those of all faiths?

I have found there is so much 'in it for me.'

Usually more work! Only kidding. The people i thought were bad christians in the church, responded to my visits by telling me of their many years of service to the church and other people. Some i thought weren't christians at all, but used the church as a social club - may our Lord forgive these thoughts.

I have church friends for the first time! People i can love and pray for. Who come and talk to me and i can drive round to and just pop in with no warning.

Yes we've all been in the I'm so Christ-like position, look at how unchristian everyone else is. I felt like that most of the last 10 years - how can i go to church, i do everything right and i know what they do and think, it's awful. That's a more common feeling that you probably think among christians, but most keep it to themselves.

Well this topic shows you realise something isn't right! It's me and YOU! We're thinking wrongly and trying to do things our way. We're not loving enough and we are judging too much, without giving those people the chance to bless us with the 'real' person we don't see. We think we're working so hard for Christ, when infact we are striving by our own efforts, instead of praying and asking the Spirit to lead.

If your 'work' is differcult, it doesn't have God in it. If the results are poor, you need to submit more and pray. I know you are probably over flowing with urgency to serve daily and get out there - but perhaps you should ask a mature christian or minister to guide you/ put you in the right place for you.

Listening to your struggle, was like a mirror of myself. May God's Spirit guide us both, SofTy.

***RabbiKnife*** · Dec 17th 2008, 06:57 PM

Softy, the struggle you feel is the "old man" trying to crawl off the cross. When we do God's work, we have to daily nail the old rascal to the cross, and he doesn't like it.

One of the most profound things I ever came to understand was that "I no longer live, and the life that I now live, I live in Christ."

When I remember that I am a dead man, people and circumstances can't hurt my feelings. Takes a lot of pressure off.

**Buck shot** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by angelwind

I

So I would pray...Lord cause me to delight to do Your will...cause me to love You with my whole heart. I do believe He is answering that prayer for me...it is slow, but it is surely happening.

zealous for good works.

Praise God it is happening! I too feel that my growth is slow but even slow steps are much better that no step

We should be wanting God's will to be ours, if we do not think this way we should be questioning why

***Brother Mark*** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:12 PM

Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden light. Perhaps you are serving in a way that is not what God has called you to serve.

Have you ever looked into the difference between being a slave and a son?

If you want a book to read, I recommend reading "The Utlimate Privilege" by Devern Fromke as it can help stir up our soul/emotions towards God. Often, our joy can be found in time spent with him instead of for him.

**Christian_lady** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:20 PM

Thank you for the responses, I appreciate their gentleness.

Here is the situation:

I feel God is calling me to Evangelize which I am not very happy about.
I understand this reluctance is not good and not godly.

I am NOT writing this because I want to hear responses reminding me how 'bad' my emotions are. I'm already aware of that.

The problem is, I don't know how to feel happy about this calling.
I feel like it's a punishment because I will be serving Him, not myself and I will have to sacrifice myself.

I try pretending I am happy but seriously, that just doesn't work. I end up bottling frustration and blowing up at Him.

I don't know if I am 'suppose' to feel happy or perhaps part of the Christian life is to do His work (in this case evangelize) and not enjoy it at the same time.

When I pray why I am not happy I sense He tells me it's because I don't want to let go of my self. Is that such a bad thing? Is the self really that evil? I don't want to break the ten commandments, I just had my own agenda in mind, that's all.

I don't want to do His will for years only to later look back and resent Him because I didn't get to do 'my thing' (which does not necessarily mean my 'thing' is to break the Law).

confused!

***Tanya~*** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:47 PM

May I ask why you feel you are called to evangelize specifically? What has led you to this belief?

***Bethany67*** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:59 PM

What is it about evangelism that makes you feel reluctant? Not enough ability to answer hard questions? If so, I'd recommend some serious study, especially on the typical questions we all get asked.

I often wonder if Paul felt weird as an ex-Pharisee being the apostle to the Gentiles, when it might seem 'obvious' his skills and experience lay with the Jews.

**Christian_lady** · Dec 17th 2008, 08:06 PM

Hmmm...good question.

Basically I committed to Christianity about two years ago and my life consisted of reading the Bible daily, trying to understand it (i.e. learn) and pray daily.

The more that I concentrated on prayer and Bible reading, the more I felt God told me to evangelize. This happened, I'd say about six-ten months ago.

Maybe I have the word wrong (evangelize). When I pray and read my Bible I get the sense that I should learn enough of the Bible to be aware of the right scripture when people have questions. I should also learn how to tell people about God, the right way (that He is the Truth, He is the God everyone is searching for). I sense I should focus on just telling people about God.

I didn't like the idea of evangelizing and I don't know why. It's not as 'wonderful' as it sounds, at least not for me. Not because I don't like the idea of other people enjoying God, but because there is a lot of responsibility involved and basically no room for sin or just letting go and enjoying other things except God.
It's like a 24/7 focus on God and His word and it's so hard to pretend I like it. It's more work than pleasure.

So I stopped praying as hard as I use to, because every time I would pray I would get the sense He wants me to do this.

But the problem is I am kind of missing out on that relationship I used to have with Him. I still have a relationship but it's not really the same.

When I pray again, opening my heart, I sense He wants me to evangelize.

So now I'm thinking, 'ok I'll do what He wants me to do' but I would lying if I said it tickles me. It's kind of a pain in my neck (sorry) and I'm not looking forward to it.

CL

***Tanya~*** · Dec 17th 2008, 08:41 PM

CL,

What you're describing is a bit unusual, and I think you are being kicked off the right track somehow. When we serve God acceptably, it is an outflowing of what He is working in us. The Holy Spirit fills us and leads us where to go, what to say, and it truly is a joy to experience this. When we serve God acceptably, we are serving Him willingly because He is the one who gives us that will.

Phil 2:12-13
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure.
NKJV

If you are trying to serve but not with a willing heart, it's likely God isn't working this in you. Maybe you have been told somewhere along the line that you're supposed to evangelize when you really aren't, but because you have that in your mind, you think God is calling you to that. Maybe God has something else for you.

When we are doing things out of duty it is boring, drudgery, tiresome, and can lead to frustration and even anger at God, and it isn't even God's fault.

Your relationship with your Heavenly Father has to be first because anything that doesn't flow out from that isn't going to be fruitful. When you say you committed to Christianity, did you ever actually receive Christ? Maybe the disconnect is that you still need to receive the Holy Spirit.

But count the cost. Because if we love our own life, want to make room for sin and "other things" that don't include God, well, it doesn't work that way. Even when we are doing things unrelated to church or Christian activities, God is still in the middle of it. When we receive Him, His Holy Spirit comes to dwell in us, to be with us no matter what we are doing. So there isn't really going to be any room for sin, and there isn't going to be any place you can go, or any thing you can do, that God isn't there in the midst of it because He will be in you. When a Christian sins, it isn't like a little vacation from God. We will be corrected by our Father when we sin because He is training us in righteousness.

**samphillipssr** · Dec 17th 2008, 09:26 PM

Christian friend, God knows us better than we know ourself.

May I tell you a quick story...

A little boy and his Dad were outside. While his dad worked on a project, he climbed up into an old apple tree. Half way up, the limb he was on began to break. Crying out his dad came running. When he was directly under his son, he said... " Son, let go, I'll catch you. " The young man hesitated, then said:

" Dad, can I trust you to catch me? "

With a smile, Dad assured him, " yes son. You can trust me. Let go and I'll catch you safe and sound. "

Suddenly the little fellow let go and fell safely into his big Dads arms.

CL, why not let go of your own worries, feelings, and doubts and Trust God who loves you with an everlasting love. Read your KJV Bible first thing in the morning and have prayer, knowing God our Father is ready and willing.

Let go and let God lead and guide, not yourself.

Last but not least, read Prov.3:5-10 every morning when you wake up. Here it is below...

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.
It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
Honour the LORD with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.

God bless you. We'll be praying for you.

Sam

**Christian_lady** · Dec 17th 2008, 10:27 PM

It's interesting because I was talking about that proverb with a friend of mine just this morning in regards to what I sense God tells me every time I pray about my future. The response is always the same, "trust Me".

And she is not a believer and told me that when I told her this a few weeks, it stuck with her, especially the line, "trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
Interesting...

Thanks for your prayers.

***Brother Mark*** · Dec 17th 2008, 10:30 PM

Originally Posted by Christian_lady

It's interesting because I was talking about that proverb with a friend of mine just this morning in regards to what I sense God tells me every time I pray about my future. The response is always the same, "trust Me".

He can be trusted. He is kind, gentle, loving, selfless, and many other things. He desires intimacy, communion, fellowship, and friendship. Sometimes, it can be difficult to trust Him, but the rewards of knowing Him fully, are beyond description.

Ask Him for help. He loves to give grace and mercy.

**Christian_lady** · Dec 17th 2008, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by Brother Mark

He can be trusted. He is kind, gentle, loving, selfless, and many other things. He desires intimacy, communion, fellowship, and friendship. Sometimes, it can be difficult to trust Him, but the rewards of knowing Him fully, are beyond description.

Ask Him for help. He loves to give grace and mercy.

It's getting more interesting because this afternoon while I was thinking about my situation, I felt He gave me part of the answer which was: intimacy (one of the first things you wrote).

He said that He wants me to tell Him my sin, instead of pretending it doesn't exist "in the name of Jesus".

As far as I know I am not outright breaking the ten commandments but I am weak and my weaknesses IS preventing me from being Christ-like.

I was under the impression that I should pretend it doesn't exist but it seems God told me I am tormented because He wants me to TELL HIM, not sweep it under the carpet.