Sometimes I'm not happy doing His work

**Christian_lady** · Dec 17th 2008, 05:12 PM

Sometimes I do His work with joy but other times I don't feel happy.
The reason I don't feel happy is because I feel I am serving Him, not myself.
I also feel as if I sacrifice myself for Him.

I know this is all a part of the Christian life and it's "suppose" to be this way but at times my emotions of frustration bottle up SO much that I basically tell God to leave me alone and for a few days I ignore Him.
This lasts for a few days and when I feel 'better' I return to Him to do His work (with frustration).

I think I am kind of stuck in the state of mind, "what's in it for me." When I do His work and I see people around me getting all the things they want, getting away with sin, experiencing happiness and joy, I feel like doing His work has no benefits (for myself).

Yes, I am serving Him and if anything I can help bring people to God (which makes me feel happy), but when I walk with Him daily I just don't feel happy. I feel frustrated because I am the one who has to be as Christ-like as possible while people around me don't try as hard and still have comfortable lives.

I would appreciate advice without:
1. Sarcasm
2. Assumptions

CL

**angelwind** · Dec 17th 2008, 05:51 PM

I often saw in my heart through the years that my heart did not seem the same as what I read about Jesus' Heart:

Then I said, "Behold, I come; in the scroll of the Book it is written of me.

I delight to do Your will, O my God. And Your law is within my heart. Ps 40:7-8

So I would pray...Lord cause me to delight to do Your will...cause me to love You with my whole heart. I do believe He is answering that prayer for me...it is slow, but it is surely happening.

The verses in Titus 2:11-14 were helpful and and eye-opener to me too...and good verses to pray over for personal growth...God's grace...teaches us, trains us...to live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age.
This means to me I must let Him work...through and by His grace in my life (not of my own strength) to live in the way that pleases Him...even in a wicked and perverse world that cares nothing for God...Jesus had the very same challenge and He did live perfectly pleasing His Father in every way...He will help us to do the same.

Titus 2:11-14

For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men,
teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,

looking for the blessed hope and glorious appearing of our great God and Saviour Jesus Christ,
who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every lawless lawless deed and purify for Himself His own special people,

zealous for good works.

***ServantofTruth*** · Dec 17th 2008, 06:45 PM

Are you refering to self professing Chrisitians or non believers - when you say, 'people are getting everything they want, getting away with sin, and experiencing happiness and joy.'

All i want in life is for my wife and children to be healthy and find Jesus Christ. For me to have time to read the bible and visit those who need someone/ anyone. I see people getting what THEY want and i'm glad i don't want it any more!

As for them getting away with sin - noone gets away with sin. I hope you'll think about that and pray.

Life is not easy for anyone. The pepers are full of the rich and famous who have 'everything this world' has to offer and look at the pain in their lives. We wouldn't hear so much about them if they were happy!

Joy, for me isn't the same as happiness. Joy is knowing our Lord Jesus Christ and having a hunger for the Word/ Wisdom of God in the bible. Joy is feeling sorry for those people and wanting to help them. Joy is inner peace.

May I ask what Work you do for Christ? Who gave it to you? It is likely that you are not in line with the Work our Lord wants you to do. I have been there and it just doesn't work.

Where does LOVE come into your life and faith? Do you love everyone - yes everyone - who professes faith in Jesus Christ? Do you love all non believers and those of all faiths?

I have found there is so much 'in it for me.'

Usually more work! Only kidding. The people i thought were bad christians in the church, responded to my visits by telling me of their many years of service to the church and other people. Some i thought weren't christians at all, but used the church as a social club - may our Lord forgive these thoughts.

I have church friends for the first time! People i can love and pray for. Who come and talk to me and i can drive round to and just pop in with no warning.

Yes we've all been in the I'm so Christ-like position, look at how unchristian everyone else is. I felt like that most of the last 10 years - how can i go to church, i do everything right and i know what they do and think, it's awful. That's a more common feeling that you probably think among christians, but most keep it to themselves.

Well this topic shows you realise something isn't right! It's me and YOU! We're thinking wrongly and trying to do things our way. We're not loving enough and we are judging too much, without giving those people the chance to bless us with the 'real' person we don't see. We think we're working so hard for Christ, when infact we are striving by our own efforts, instead of praying and asking the Spirit to lead.

If your 'work' is differcult, it doesn't have God in it. If the results are poor, you need to submit more and pray. I know you are probably over flowing with urgency to serve daily and get out there - but perhaps you should ask a mature christian or minister to guide you/ put you in the right place for you.

Listening to your struggle, was like a mirror of myself. May God's Spirit guide us both, SofTy.

***RabbiKnife*** · Dec 17th 2008, 06:57 PM

Softy, the struggle you feel is the "old man" trying to crawl off the cross. When we do God's work, we have to daily nail the old rascal to the cross, and he doesn't like it.

One of the most profound things I ever came to understand was that "I no longer live, and the life that I now live, I live in Christ."

When I remember that I am a dead man, people and circumstances can't hurt my feelings. Takes a lot of pressure off.

**Buck shot** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:08 PM

Originally Posted by angelwind

I

So I would pray...Lord cause me to delight to do Your will...cause me to love You with my whole heart. I do believe He is answering that prayer for me...it is slow, but it is surely happening.

zealous for good works.

Praise God it is happening! I too feel that my growth is slow but even slow steps are much better that no step

We should be wanting God's will to be ours, if we do not think this way we should be questioning why

***Brother Mark*** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:12 PM

Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden light. Perhaps you are serving in a way that is not what God has called you to serve.

Have you ever looked into the difference between being a slave and a son?

If you want a book to read, I recommend reading "The Utlimate Privilege" by Devern Fromke as it can help stir up our soul/emotions towards God. Often, our joy can be found in time spent with him instead of for him.

***paidforinfull*** · Dec 18th 2008, 02:26 AM

Originally Posted by Brother Mark

Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden light. Perhaps you are serving in a way that is not what God has called you to serve.

Have you ever looked into the difference between being a slave and a son?

If you want a book to read, I recommend reading "The Utlimate Privilege" by Devern Fromke as it can help stir up our soul/emotions towards God. Often, our joy can be found in time spent with him instead of for him.

Amen to this - yes, His burden is easy.

I've been where you are at now, but I have learnt that things only get 'tough' and 'unpleasant' when I try to do things in my own strength. Maybe you shouldn't try so hard to 'do' things for Him, but rather just 'be available', and ask Him to show you specifically what He wants you to do. When I spend less time trying to work for God, but more time with Him, He does tend to use me more, and bring more opportunities to work for Him in a constructive way across my path. We don't have to earn God's approval - we've already got it because of what Jesus did.

Your heart is willing and you are available to do God's work - that is wonderful! Praise God for that. Now rest in Him, and let the Holy Spirit guide you.

God bless you.

**Christian_lady** · Dec 18th 2008, 03:20 AM

Another part of the problem is that I want to create a 'home'...

I do NOT mean a home in terms of buying a house and decorating it.
lol.

What I mean is, reach a state of mind where I feel secure.

I understand that only God provides that security, but I feel kind of like someone floating around, reading His word and doing kind things from time to time (as well as praying) but I haven't reached that "place" where I feel like everything is ok, safe, or perhaps in other words, "I'm home".

Does that make sense? I know this is a bit vague, I apologize.
CL

***paidforinfull*** · Dec 18th 2008, 03:41 AM

Originally Posted by Christian_lady

Another part of the problem is that I want to create a 'home'...

I do NOT mean a home in terms of buying a house and decorating it.
lol.

What I mean is, reach a state of mind where I feel secure.

I understand that only God provides that security, but I feel kind of like someone floating around, reading His word and doing kind things from time to time (as well as praying) but I haven't reached that "place" where I feel like everything is ok, safe, or perhaps in other words, "I'm home".

Does that make sense? I know this is a bit vague, I apologize.
CL

Yes, CL, I know exactly what you mean.

It seems to me that you may not be totally satisfied with where you 'are at' spiritually right now, and that God is calling you to a deeper relationship with Him (the next level, so to speak). This is very positive.

The best advice I could give you right now is to concentrate on the Lord. If possible, withdraw from some of your Christian activities, and spend more time talking to God. Really talk to Him - tell Him all these things which have been bothering you; tell Him you want to feel that you have come 'home'. Spend time in His Word (I know you are doing this already, but what I mean is, don't make reading the Bible a duty, but rather ask God to give you a hunger for His Word so that reading It would become a pleasure. Also ask God to guide your reading of the Word - does this make sense?).

We all need God's peace which surpasses all understanding in our lives, and only God can give us this peace - this 'coming home' feeling.

I hope this helps

God bless.

**Christian_lady** · Dec 18th 2008, 11:58 AM

Originally Posted by paidforinfull

Yes, CL, I know exactly what you mean.

It seems to me that you may not be totally satisfied with where you 'are at' spiritually right now, and that God is calling you to a deeper relationship with Him (the next level, so to speak). This is very positive.

The best advice I could give you right now is to concentrate on the Lord. If possible, withdraw from some of your Christian activities, and spend more time talking to God. Really talk to Him - tell Him all these things which have been bothering you; tell Him you want to feel that you have come 'home'. Spend time in His Word (I know you are doing this already, but what I mean is, don't make reading the Bible a duty, but rather ask God to give you a hunger for His Word so that reading It would become a pleasure. Also ask God to guide your reading of the Word - does this make sense?).

We all need God's peace which surpasses all understanding in our lives, and only God can give us this peace - this 'coming home' feeling.

I hope this helps

God bless.

Yes I think you understand my emotions, perhaps you went through the same thing at one point in your life.
I am relieved to hear it's "positive", I was under the impression it's not.
And thanks to the other posters, I appreciate your time to give me helpful advice.

I hear that the Holy Spirit satisfies and is enough, but I just don't feel it. I acknowledge it but I don't agree. And when I pray "harder" and read my Bible "more", I feel peace, yes, but I feel as if it's a peaceful distraction not solution.

I remember the Samaritan women and how Jesus promises her His water will never make her thirsty. I acknowledge He is the best, but I still feel a longing (thirst). I am not saying I want to reach a point where I don't feel a desire to seek God anymore, not at all, I just want to reach a place where I DO feel completely satisfied in all areas of my life, through Jesus and His water, not through other means.

It's a struggle.

***paidforinfull*** · Dec 18th 2008, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by Christian_lady

Yes I think you understand my emotions, perhaps you went through the same thing at one point in your life.
I am relieved to hear it's "positive", I was under the impression it's not.

Dear CL:

Growing is always painful, but the results are positive. Fortunately we are not alone in this, since God is with us all the time; all the way (whether we are aware of His presence or not).

I wonder if it would be possible for you to speak to your minister/pastor about this, so that he could council you and pray with you? Just a suggestion, mind you.

God bless

***ServantofTruth*** · Dec 18th 2008, 01:35 PM

Have you read Matthew 6:25-34? Do you still worry about tomorrow? Or money? Or where you'll live?

We moved house a couple of months back and my wife and I made a list of the problems that we need to get sorted with the owner/ rental agent. We have 5 sons. No hot water for over a week. A broken washing machine connection. A collapsed cieling in one of the bedrooms. Well you get the idea.

While my wife worried, i told her it would all be sorted in a few days and other people had it much worse than us. My wife is a non believer.

When i was in the letting agents office one day, i was talking to the secretary, waiting for her boss to get back. The conversation turned to Christianity/ Jesus

, and before i knew it i was witnessing. A couple of days later when i popped in, the staff looked worried and said what's wrong now - nothing i said! , some things are more important than houses - i gave this lady a tract/ christian leaflet and told them both about church and Christianity.

If i die tonight, i'm ready. Yes there are things i want to see like my children growing up and grand children - but i trust God to look after them. There are things i would like to achieve, full acceptance in a church, and for them to use for, rather than me working mainly alone. But we'll all be together in Peace and Love one day soon, so whether i go today or in 50 years matters little.

You will always be happy doing the work God gives you.

If you are not happy

, you need a pastor or mature christian's help.

SofTy

**Scubadude** · Dec 31st 2008, 06:22 PM

Originally Posted by Christian_lady

Another part of the problem is that I want to create a 'home'...

I do NOT mean a home in terms of buying a house and decorating it.
lol.

What I mean is, reach a state of mind where I feel secure.

I understand that only God provides that security, but I feel kind of like someone floating around, reading His word and doing kind things from time to time (as well as praying) but I haven't reached that "place" where I feel like everything is ok, safe, or perhaps in other words, "I'm home".

Does that make sense? I know this is a bit vague, I apologize.
CL

When I come home from work, I walk through the door and say, "Honey, I'm home!" And my wife gives me a big hug and a smooch. For that moment, I'm 'home'. Then the busyness of life crouds in again. But, I remember that taste, that moment when something in both of us relaxed and exhailed. I find I am faced with a decision. Do I become demanding for more of that 'home' feeling, or do I feel sad that we haven't been allowed to really be 'home' yet?

Hope this makes sence.

***Firefighter*** · Dec 31st 2008, 07:36 PM

Originally Posted by Christian_lady
Another part of the problem is that I want to create a 'home'...

I do NOT mean a home in terms of buying a house and decorating it.
lol.

What I mean is, reach a state of mind where I feel secure.

I understand that only God provides that security, but I feel kind of like someone floating around, reading His word and doing kind things from time to time (as well as praying) but I haven't reached that "place" where I feel like everything is ok, safe, or perhaps in other words, "I'm home".

Does that make sense? I know this is a bit vague, I apologize.
CL

How did I miss this one???

In fear of sounding cliche-ish, if you want to walk on water... you have to leave the (perceived) security of the boat.

**Christian_lady** · Dec 17th 2008, 07:20 PM

Thank you for the responses, I appreciate their gentleness.

Here is the situation:

I feel God is calling me to Evangelize which I am not very happy about.
I understand this reluctance is not good and not godly.

I am NOT writing this because I want to hear responses reminding me how 'bad' my emotions are. I'm already aware of that.

The problem is, I don't know how to feel happy about this calling.
I feel like it's a punishment because I will be serving Him, not myself and I will have to sacrifice myself.

I try pretending I am happy but seriously, that just doesn't work. I end up bottling frustration and blowing up at Him.

I don't know if I am 'suppose' to feel happy or perhaps part of the Christian life is to do His work (in this case evangelize) and not enjoy it at the same time.

When I pray why I am not happy I sense He tells me it's because I don't want to let go of my self. Is that such a bad thing? Is the self really that evil? I don't want to break the ten commandments, I just had my own agenda in mind, that's all.

I don't want to do His will for years only to later look back and resent Him because I didn't get to do 'my thing' (which does not necessarily mean my 'thing' is to break the Law).

confused!