Sometimes I'm not happy doing His work

[Dani H]

At the core of evangelism is introducing another person to Jesus.

Which is easy if Jesus is real to you and your best Friend and someone you're delighted to spend time with and share your life with.

It's not easy if you look at it as some religious burden. You're not introducing a teaching, or a doctrine, or a set of commandments.

You're introducing a Person.

I'm here to tell you, the more time you spend with that Person, the Lord Jesus, the easier it becomes to share Him with others any chance you get because you will get to the point where you won't be able to help yourself and people will tell you to be quiet already with all your Jesus talk.

[Lee-Roy]

Some very interesting stuff in this thread. Thanks for posting.

[Christian_lady]

At the core of evangelism is introducing another person to Jesus.

Which is easy if Jesus is real to you and your best Friend and someone you're delighted to spend time with and share your life with.

It's not easy if you look at it as some religious burden. You're not introducing a teaching, or a doctrine, or a set of commandments.

You're introducing a Person.

I'm here to tell you, the more time you spend with that Person, the Lord Jesus, the easier it becomes to share Him with others any chance you get because you will get to the point where you won't be able to help yourself and people will tell you to be quiet already with all your Jesus talk.

That's a great advice!

[paidforinfull]

Jesus said his yoke is easy and his burden light. Perhaps you are serving in a way that is not what God has called you to serve.

Have you ever looked into the difference between being a slave and a son?

If you want a book to read, I recommend reading "The Utlimate Privilege" by Devern Fromke as it can help stir up our soul/emotions towards God. Often, our joy can be found in time spent with him instead of for him.

Amen to this - yes, His burden is easy.

I've been where you are at now, but I have learnt that things only get 'tough' and 'unpleasant' when I try to do things in my own strength. Maybe you shouldn't try so hard to 'do' things for Him, but rather just 'be available', and ask Him to show you specifically what He wants you to do. When I spend less time trying to work for God, but more time with Him, He does tend to use me more, and bring more opportunities to work for Him in a constructive way across my path. We don't have to earn God's approval - we've already got it because of what Jesus did.

Your heart is willing and you are available to do God's work - that is wonderful! Praise God for that. Now rest in Him, and let the Holy Spirit guide you.

God bless you.

[Christian_lady]

Another part of the problem is that I want to create a 'home'...

I do NOT mean a home in terms of buying a house and decorating it.
lol.

What I mean is, reach a state of mind where I feel secure.

I understand that only God provides that security, but I feel kind of like someone floating around, reading His word and doing kind things from time to time (as well as praying) but I haven't reached that "place" where I feel like everything is ok, safe, or perhaps in other words, "I'm home".

Does that make sense? I know this is a bit vague, I apologize.
CL

[paidforinfull]

Another part of the problem is that I want to create a 'home'...

I do NOT mean a home in terms of buying a house and decorating it.
lol.

What I mean is, reach a state of mind where I feel secure.

I understand that only God provides that security, but I feel kind of like someone floating around, reading His word and doing kind things from time to time (as well as praying) but I haven't reached that "place" where I feel like everything is ok, safe, or perhaps in other words, "I'm home".

Does that make sense? I know this is a bit vague, I apologize.
CL

Yes, CL, I know exactly what you mean.

It seems to me that you may not be totally satisfied with where you 'are at' spiritually right now, and that God is calling you to a deeper relationship with Him (the next level, so to speak). This is very positive.

The best advice I could give you right now is to concentrate on the Lord. If possible, withdraw from some of your Christian activities, and spend more time talking to God. Really talk to Him - tell Him all these things which have been bothering you; tell Him you want to feel that you have come 'home'. Spend time in His Word (I know you are doing this already, but what I mean is, don't make reading the Bible a duty, but rather ask God to give you a hunger for His Word so that reading It would become a pleasure. Also ask God to guide your reading of the Word - does this make sense?).

We all need God's peace which surpasses all understanding in our lives, and only God can give us this peace - this 'coming home' feeling.

I hope this helps
God bless.

[chad]

Hi Christan Lady,

Well the first thing I would like to say is that we are no longer under the law - 10 commandments. Jesus came and died for us, so we may have eternal life through Gods Grace.

There are many ways to evangalize. This could be as simple as sharing the word of god with others, joining your local churces evangalism group and sharing your faith in groups with others, going on short term minsionary trips with your local church, or even going on a summer of service with inter-denominational church organizations such as YWAM.

The key is to keep praying and try to find out what sort of evangalism and area of evangalism God is calling you to.

Another important thing about evangalism is that you do not have to be perfect in order for God to use you. As we depend on God, God takes what we have and makes it useable by the Holy Spirit. sometimes its not our natural ability that God is interested in, it's our availability.

Another thing to consider when we evangalise is that it is normally done under the covering of your church or the organization God leads you to. An equiping usually takes place before you are sent out.

Prayer is the key and sharing your vision/callling with your pastor can help.

Chad

Thank you for the responses, I appreciate their gentleness.

Here is the situation:

I feel God is calling me to Evangelize which I am not very happy about.
I understand this reluctance is not good and not godly.

I am NOT writing this because I want to hear responses reminding me how 'bad' my emotions are. I'm already aware of that.

The problem is, I don't know how to feel happy about this calling.
I feel like it's a punishment because I will be serving Him, not myself and I will have to sacrifice myself.

I try pretending I am happy but seriously, that just doesn't work. I end up bottling frustration and blowing up at Him.

I don't know if I am 'suppose' to feel happy or perhaps part of the Christian life is to do His work (in this case evangelize) and not enjoy it at the same time.

When I pray why I am not happy I sense He tells me it's because I don't want to let go of my self. Is that such a bad thing? Is the self really that evil? I don't want to break the ten commandments, I just had my own agenda in mind, that's all.

I don't want to do His will for years only to later look back and resent Him because I didn't get to do 'my thing' (which does not necessarily mean my 'thing' is to break the Law).


confused!

[ServantofTruth]

Part of that 'home' will be the time every day that you put aside for quiet reflection on the Word and to pray. Never get too busy in God's work to do this. Recharge each day at the foot of the Cross of our Lord Jesus Christ.

[Christian_lady]

Yes, CL, I know exactly what you mean.

It seems to me that you may not be totally satisfied with where you 'are at' spiritually right now, and that God is calling you to a deeper relationship with Him (the next level, so to speak). This is very positive.

The best advice I could give you right now is to concentrate on the Lord. If possible, withdraw from some of your Christian activities, and spend more time talking to God. Really talk to Him - tell Him all these things which have been bothering you; tell Him you want to feel that you have come 'home'. Spend time in His Word (I know you are doing this already, but what I mean is, don't make reading the Bible a duty, but rather ask God to give you a hunger for His Word so that reading It would become a pleasure. Also ask God to guide your reading of the Word - does this make sense?).

We all need God's peace which surpasses all understanding in our lives, and only God can give us this peace - this 'coming home' feeling.

I hope this helps
God bless.

Yes I think you understand my emotions, perhaps you went through the same thing at one point in your life.
I am relieved to hear it's "positive", I was under the impression it's not.
And thanks to the other posters, I appreciate your time to give me helpful advice.

I hear that the Holy Spirit satisfies and is enough, but I just don't feel it. I acknowledge it but I don't agree. And when I pray "harder" and read my Bible "more", I feel peace, yes, but I feel as if it's a peaceful distraction not solution.

I remember the Samaritan women and how Jesus promises her His water will never make her thirsty. I acknowledge He is the best, but I still feel a longing (thirst). I am not saying I want to reach a point where I don't feel a desire to seek God anymore, not at all, I just want to reach a place where I DO feel completely satisfied in all areas of my life, through Jesus and His water, not through other means.

It's a struggle.

[paidforinfull]

Yes I think you understand my emotions, perhaps you went through the same thing at one point in your life.
I am relieved to hear it's "positive", I was under the impression it's not.

Dear CL:

Growing is always painful, but the results are positive. Fortunately we are not alone in this, since God is with us all the time; all the way (whether we are aware of His presence or not).

I wonder if it would be possible for you to speak to your minister/pastor about this, so that he could council you and pray with you? Just a suggestion, mind you.

God bless

[ServantofTruth]

Have you read Matthew 6:25-34? Do you still worry about tomorrow? Or money? Or where you'll live?

We moved house a couple of months back and my wife and I made a list of the problems that we need to get sorted with the owner/ rental agent. We have 5 sons. No hot water for over a week. A broken washing machine connection. A collapsed cieling in one of the bedrooms. Well you get the idea.

While my wife worried, i told her it would all be sorted in a few days and other people had it much worse than us. My wife is a non believer.

When i was in the letting agents office one day, i was talking to the secretary, waiting for her boss to get back. The conversation turned to Christianity/ Jesus , and before i knew it i was witnessing. A couple of days later when i popped in, the staff looked worried and said what's wrong now - nothing i said! , some things are more important than houses - i gave this lady a tract/ christian leaflet and told them both about church and Christianity.

If i die tonight, i'm ready. Yes there are things i want to see like my children growing up and grand children - but i trust God to look after them. There are things i would like to achieve, full acceptance in a church, and for them to use for, rather than me working mainly alone. But we'll all be together in Peace and Love one day soon, so whether i go today or in 50 years matters little.

You will always be happy doing the work God gives you.

If you are not happy , you need a pastor or mature christian's help.

SofTy

[Gregg]

Hmmm...good question.

Basically I committed to Christianity about two years ago and my life consisted of reading the Bible daily, trying to understand it (i.e. learn) and pray daily.

The more that I concentrated on prayer and Bible reading, the more I felt God told me to evangelize. This happened, I'd say about six-ten months ago.

Maybe I have the word wrong (evangelize). When I pray and read my Bible I get the sense that I should learn enough of the Bible to be aware of the right scripture when people have questions. I should also learn how to tell people about God, the right way (that He is the Truth, He is the God everyone is searching for). I sense I should focus on just telling people about God.

I didn't like the idea of evangelizing and I don't know why. It's not as 'wonderful' as it sounds, at least not for me. Not because I don't like the idea of other people enjoying God, but because there is a lot of responsibility involved and basically no room for sin or just letting go and enjoying other things except God.
It's like a 24/7 focus on God and His word and it's so hard to pretend I like it. It's more work than pleasure.

So I stopped praying as hard as I use to, because every time I would pray I would get the sense He wants me to do this.

But the problem is I am kind of missing out on that relationship I used to have with Him. I still have a relationship but it's not really the same.

When I pray again, opening my heart, I sense He wants me to evangelize.

So now I'm thinking, 'ok I'll do what He wants me to do' but I would lying if I said it tickles me. It's kind of a pain in my neck (sorry) and I'm not looking forward to it.

CL

Thank you for this post and being so honest. I sometimes struggle with this. I lived my life pursing all things...or at least most things pleasurable for the longest time. I think that satan whispers to me that I am missing something to keep me from doing God's will. I am not one that walks around asking people if they know Jesus, sometimes "I" feel that I should be. The truth is I never liked that when people did it to me. They are the spooky Christians (or so I thought). Now the weird thing is that I attend a 12 step Christ based program and have no trouble talking about Jesus to the new comers. I actually enjoy it. So where do I get the idea that "if I really loved the Lord I would be spreading the Word with words in everything I do, so I must not be saved?" While this does not happen often, it happens enough to rob me of some peace. I think that I have to trust the Lord and give it to him. When he presents "clear" opportunities ask him to give me the wisdom, courage, and words to step up. I then can see the gift he has given me to help some people. If I am giving my will and life to Christ I should be able to ask him to help me in the things that he wants me to do. After all if I was doing it wrong, wouldn't he show me the way? It is how I got here in the first place. Thank the Lord!

God Bless you and yours.

[Christian_lady]

Thank you for this post and being so honest. I sometimes struggle with this. I lived my life pursing all things...or at least most things pleasurable for the longest time. I think that satan whispers to me that I am missing something to keep me from doing God's will. I am not one that walks around asking people if they know Jesus, sometimes "I" feel that I should be. The truth is I never liked that when people did it to me. They are the spooky Christians (or so I thought). Now the weird thing is that I attend a 12 step Christ based program and have no trouble talking about Jesus to the new comers. I actually enjoy it. So where do I get the idea that "if I really loved the Lord I would be spreading the Word with words in everything I do, so I must not be saved?" While this does not happen often, it happens enough to rob me of some peace. I think that I have to trust the Lord and give it to him. When he presents "clear" opportunities ask him to give me the wisdom, courage, and words to step up. I then can see the gift he has given me to help some people. If I am giving my will and life to Christ I should be able to ask him to help me in the things that he wants me to do. After all if I was doing it wrong, wouldn't he show me the way? It is how I got here in the first place. Thank the Lord!

God Bless you and yours.

I am not trying to sound-alarm my ego but it seems when I express my weaknesses, in this case my weaknesses during my walk with Christ, it appears to have an effect on people: "oh you too? I thought I was the only one!"

That's kind of cool and I assume God likes it too because I sense something 'human' when fellow Christians admit they battle the self.

I believe the Holy Spirit conquers everything but I admit I do not always experience this victory, likely because my sin and/or my self takes over.


~~~~

I think I want to be face-to-face with God, meaning I want to walk with Him in everything. I think that's the place/sentiment of "home" I was describing earlier.

It's like being in a place where in everything I do or say, I feel binded with God. Even though I will undoubtedly make mistakes, I will still feel like there is room for error for the sake of learning and growing in Him.

Does that make sense?

At this point, I just don't know where I am going...I am walking with God as much as I can through prayer and reading the Bible (so I am on the right track) but I kind of feel like I'm doing it blindly, not really sure why or where I'm going or what for?

I do these things because I am afraid of His wrath. Also, in my past, I've tried all avenues of life and discovered that He is The Truth.

I understand it's all about His glory, but what does that really mean? Ok, I serve Him on earth and then I get repaid in Heaven? Does that mean my time here is to serve Him by evangelizing and honoring the Law? That's fine but I just don't feel satisfied.

I am a bit confused, I apologize if it doesn't make sense but I appreciate everyone's bits of advice, they are helpful.

[Dani H]

I began to truly feel at home in God when I realized that it was my responsibility to see to it that He can feel at home in me. And I asked Him to help me make that happen. And so the housecleaning began.

With everything that left that was not of Him, I grew closer to Him. Some of it has been painful but oh it's all been so well worth it. And if I'm going to spend eternity with Him, and eternity starts now, then what's the point of investing ourselves in anything BUT Him? Can we take anything with us? No, we cannot. But Jesus will still be there and so whatever we invest into our relationship with Him now, we will have always.

I know exactly what you mean, and what you yearn for. Trust that this desire has been given to you by the Lord, and root yourself in Him alone. We often have our roots (i.e. faith) spread out in this person and that doctrine and this tradition and that job and this career and family and so on and so forth. When we stop and pull our faith out of all these places and put it in God alone, the whole lump of it, that goes a long way in becoming rooted in Him.

You're already secure, from where God sits. No one can snatch you out of His hands. You just have to see it and know it by experience.

[Walking the Walk]

I know exactly how you feel...I sometimes lose patience with God too. But this year has been particularly interesting...after a severe rough going, God spoke to me on a number of occasions and reminded me that 'it's all about Him.' And the good thing about it is that I was totally OK with that. I am reminded everyday that whatever happens, IF I'm doing His will, He will eventually reward me and then everyone will know that I've been with Jesus...also, the scripture "Trust in the Lord...and lean not unto thine own understanding...." was hard to swallow at first...but everyday is another chance for me to Walk with the Lord, doing His will and not my own.