God's Sovreignty vs Drunk Driver

[mikebr]

I am trying to muster up the courage to go see a couple who are old friends. I haven't seen them in a couple of years. They lost their only daughter in a car wreck about two months ago and I know that they are still hurting tremendously. I can't even imagine what Christmas is going to be like for them. I don't have anything to say to them. They know all the pat answers just like I do. I can only go and listen and hope to answer any questions that they may ask. I'm sure most of my answers will be "I don't know."

The problem comes with the fact that they saw the Lord working before she was killed. They got some clues and they believe that she knew. It helps them but they still want to blame the drunk driver.

My question. Was the drunk driver a tool to accomplish God's will or was it truly an accident caused by a terrible person?

Please pray for them and me. I really don't want to do this.

[kenrank]

I am trying to muster up the courage to go see a couple who are old friends. I haven't seen them in a couple of years. They lost their only daughter in a car wreck about two months ago and I know that they are still hurting tremendously. I can't even imagine what Christmas is going to be like for them. I don't have anything to say to them. They know all the pat answers just like I do. I can only go and listen and hope to answer any questions that they may ask. I'm sure most of my answers will be "I don't know."

The problem comes with the fact that they saw the Lord working before she was killed. They got some clues and they believe that she knew. It helps them but they still want to blame the drunk driver.

My question. Was the drunk driver a tool to accomplish God's will or was it truly an accident caused by a terrible person?

Please pray for them and me. I really don't want to do this.

Greetings Mike. The normal answers (you called them pat?) are all true, but they do not bring ease. I always wonder if a young one is taken early if that isn't a great act of grace. After all, she was young, God knows all, and maybe down the near future road of her life, she would have gotten into things that might have weakened her relationship with God? Who knows...God I guess!

My congregation leader has 5 children. They had 7. The eldest was hit by a car while crossing a street and was killed almost instantly. He was about 13, an intellectual when it comes to scripture, he spoke Hebrew, an amazing kid. This came on the heals of their youngest, who developed a brain tumor and died at 3 years old. I can't begin to imagine the hell a parent goes through when this happens. I can't do anything but pray for you, Mike, and for them. And I do pray that YHWH give you a word of encouragement for them.

Peace and blessings.
Ken

[Vhayes]

Hi Mike -

Sometimes words aren't necessary in situations like this, just the fact that someone cares and someone listens. There is nothing wrong with saying, "I don't know".

I can't remember who it was now (I think my first pasto€r) but years ago, someone told me they had visited with a couple who had lost a child. He was uncomfortable and had no idea what to say and realized the typical platitudes would possibly make the situation worse, not better. So he visited.

A month or so later, the couple came to him and told him how much they appreciated his visit, that he had helped them heal. He thought back to that day and realized that he hadn't actually "said" anything - that he only listened to what they said and prayed silently that the Lord hear their hurt and heal and bless them. He told me it was a lesson he took away that had stuck with him ever since; a willing ear to hear the pain of others is sometimes all that is needed.

I'm not sure if this will help you on your visit or not but I will be praying for you as well as for them.
V

[mikebr]

Thanks folks. Yep I'm simply going to listen. And I do know that the "pat" answers are all true.

[MacGyver]

I know how you feel, that is so hard for me to visit people when they are in such pain.

As for God's plan and her death, it is not God's will that she died, not in the sense that God desired it to happen. She suffered the effects of living in a fallen world where we all suffer the consequence of sin and people misusing their free will. God created a perfect world and He has given each and everyone of us the gift of free will, and how we use or abused our free-will will not only effect us but it will effect others around us. As for God's plan and His will, His plan is going to happen no matter what man does on earth, man cannot change how His plan fulfills itself, amazing as that is. But the fact is we live in a fallen world and bad things happen to good people, but God can bring good from bad situations, people can be brought closer to God through bad times.

I reject the ideal that God has a reason for taking her out of this world, I think that is a terrible misunderstanding about God, and it sure does not make those who are hurting feel any better about God because they end up seeing God as the one who is at fault. God allows man to chose how they use their free will and bad things are going to happen, but it is God who can bring good things out of evil and bad situations.

[Brother Mark]

What can one say? I think Job's friends catch a lot of deserved flack. But one thing they did right... they just sat with him for 7 days because they saw his grief was great.

On another note, I love the song "It is well with my soul". It is even more meaningful when one knows the story behind it. Having said that, there are very few folks that I would receive comforting words from in time of distress, and perhaps that is true of most people.

It is no accident that in the OT, some folks took month(s) to grieve. In today's society, I am not sure we know how to grieve.

[reformedct]

God is always in control we must remember this. But it is man who is responsible for making his bad choices. God could have somehow stopped that girl from being killed, but he didnt. Not because God is cruel. God mourns over those who suffer oppression. He doesnt even like when wicked people die without repenting

"i have no pleasure in the death of the wicked"

when that girl died, God was very sad. if she was a Christian, we must also remeber that precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His saints.

God allowed it to happen because there is a bigger plan being accomplished. We dont always understand the whole plan

my thoughts are not your thoughts
my ways are not your ways

we see things and sometimes think thoughts that are not what God is thinking

but God did not desire that to happen. that is a very sad event and you should mourn and comfort them. but it isnt God's fault that the guy was drunk. it was that drivers fault. Gods fault is in all things that are good, holy, and pure.

that being said, because God is good, he can use even terrible things to somehow bring about something good. but that doesnt mean God purposesly makes people do evil things like that.