This is to all the members on the forum, who became like family to me the past months. Thank you for your love, guidance and input in my life.
I started off a crazy journey almost four months ago being a drug addict trying to overcome. I have not known Christ like I do now, but within my heart I longed for this emptiness in my life to be filled. Because of my addiction I had no where to go, and I was running from people I owned money, I was running from family and friends, I just could not take it to see how I was causing others pain. I was running from drug dealers, by whom I was stabbed just before this journey of mine started. I really had no where to go, as I lost everything I had in life. Fact is I thought that I was running, but today I know that I werenít really running, but it was God brining me to stand still for a while.
On 3 October 2008 I ended up in a foreign country, where hardly no English are spoken, because God knew that I had to learn the language of love.
On 27 October, out of desperation I was seeking for a NA group on the net, when I found this forum. At this stage I was also an alcoholic who denied being an alcoholic. That same night I was lead to Christ by someone whom in fact became one of my mentors.
This forum became my safe house, where I could speak freely, and could make the effort to find out who I really am. I have been through a lot of humiliating experiences because of my addiction. I have been humiliated by the consequences of addiction, such as paying of my own colleagues to not be arrested, breaking open my own house, stealing my husbands car in the middle of the night, lies, manipulation and broken relationships. I have been humiliated in childhood. I wanted to avoid being humiliated at all costs, but on this forum I have learned that humility is actually humanity.
I just want to let all of you know, with whom I had contact, who left me messages, who prayed for me, with whom I shared some of my darkest secrets in life, those who guided me and leaded me in truth, those who allowed me to cry on their shoulders, the guys of the social group, those who played Battle of the Post with me, and that one special person that lead me to Christ, a heartfelt of thanks and love to you all. None of you judged or labeled me as a junkie, like the norm is in the outside world, but instead, you guys supported, motivated and believed in me, sometimes I thought that you guys believed more in me than I believed in myself. Thank you for making this forum a place where I could seek comfort in difficult times.
Within a couple of days I will be returning home! (15th January 2009) I will be going home as a new person, starting a new life in Christ. I am going home, leaving some things behind here in Hungary, being a drug addict and an alcoholic, leaving behind my past. But I am going home with a couple of new things. Firstly I am not going home alone as I came, but God will be with me every step of the way. I will also have heavier baggage than before...............No I did not go shopping, but I am taking with an extra 14kg of body weight!...............lol. I never thought I would ever weigh this much!
I am not sure how long it is going to take, to be back on line, as I have to rebuild everything I have lost.
Once again, thank you for becoming part of my new family. May God bless you all. Much love, until we meet again! Whether it will be on the net, or in heaven!