Atheist family - help :(

[Christian_lady]

Well, I come from an Atheist family and I am basically the only Christian (except for a few older aunts/uncles who are passed away by now).

Basically I'm one of younger ones in the 'new' generation, my cousins and second-cousins are starting to get married, etc.

We live in different States but try to keep in touch.

Most of the family knows I'm Christian and they haven't tried to "change" me. That's the thing about my family, we leave each other alone to make our own decisions, which IS a good thing...

But there is sin in my family such as open homosexuality, abortions, divorce, living with their partners, drug users, etc.

My family is starting to view me as the "judgmental" Christian. They feel uncomfortable around me, opening up to me because of the way I've changed.

I never tell them what I think of their lifestyle, I just don't feel as if God wants me to call a judgment. But, I think they know what my opinions are, after all, I am Christian now...they're not stupid.

I feel kind of lonely lately, and sometimes when I see movies such as The Birdcage, it kind of reminds me of how my family 'used' to be - loving, always there for each other, didn't matter if you were gay - we still accept you, etc.

For a split second, I reconsider if Christ was a good decision because I'm losing my family...But of course I KNOW that I have to place Him above all.

I could use some advice, I promise not to be hasty with whatever advice you have.

I want to be close to my family, and to honor Christ at the same time.

Please help.

[Dani H]

I think we have to be careful not to let people's alienation from God become our alienation from them. Jesus was always around sinners, because the healthy don't need a doctor, but the sick do. For some reason, Christians think that they can't be around sin, lest they become affected. Well, Jesus was around it, and touched those most affected by it, because love covers a multitude of sins. That means we have to fully accept people for who they are, and where they are. It can be difficult when people feel convicted just by your presence in their lives, and withdraw. There's nothing you can do about that except being there for them and leaving the door open and perhaps helping them understand that your love for them hasn't changed any; because of Jesus, you love them more, not less. People in sin have a habit of hiding from God and that is probably what is affecting you. I know you love your family because it shows from your post. I pray God will help you find your footing.

[tt1106]

Blessings Sister,
Unfortunately Jesus tells us that this may happen, but there is still hope. The hope is in Jesus and in him using you. Demonstrate Christ's love for them and allow God to work on them.
Christ ate among the poor wretched and most sinful people. I fwe only hang out with Church people then who will become saved? Don't embrace their lifestyle but by all means, don't avoid them. God may use you to bring them to the cross.

[Gregg]

God bless you and yours!

It is evident that you love your family. The love that you feel for them is not contingent on how they believe or act. We may cringe at the sin, and feel scared that they are not saved. We still love them. They may be convicted by their own sin or they may view you as the picture of a stereotypical idea of a judgemental hypocritical Christian that they themselves have painted. Love them more tenderly, softer, but do not when confronted or asked shrink back, but tell them the truth in loving kindness. They need to be attracted to your reflection of Christ. Someday one or more of them will be in need of someone or something Holy, it is that day when they will turn to one that they think may have some answers. It is that day that you will be able to share your testimony, pray with them and share Jesus.

Father, I pray for your daughter to have wisdom, patience, and a kind and loving heart in dealing with her family. Only you know the outcome and why we are placed in this time and space. Help her to do your will in all things but especially in regards to this family whom you love. Help her to see the opportunities and have courage to act on them when you present them. In Jesus name I pray Amen.

[CoffeeCat]

As others have said , just sharing Christ's love with your family might be the best thing you can do. I know it's a tough call, when you're stuck between taking a stand and risking an uncomfortable situation. But here's a thought: if family members voice an opinion that because you're Christian you're judging them and their lifestyles, it would be a GREAT opportunity to say "we ALL sin -- me too." and then you could explain to them how you came to know the Saviour.

I think a lot of non-Christians don't know what to make of someone who's come to Christ. They're afraid of a lot: that they'll be judged, that they've "lost" the person who's Christian, that humour and laughter and old memories won't be brought up anymore, or that they'll get a lecture. And so a 'stand-offish' situation sometimes develops. That can be done away with by just loving your family -- spending time, calling, laughing, praying, just being honest and approachable.

Praying for you and your family.

[Marc B]

Just be yourself and be a living example of a good Christian like Jesus taught in the many verses on how to treat your fellow man[woman]. Pray for your family and be there for them, show them you're not judging them and let God bring them to you in His own good time. Worry about your own shortcomings and sins and work at your own spiritual growth. You can't force salvation on anyone. Only God can draw someone to salvation.

[superwoman8977]

My family is my life. Without them I would be sunk. My mom, my dad yeah we have had our issues and now thank goodness despite their flaws and everything they have been there for me when it was like no one else was there. I personally think sitting there and judging everyone for their beliefs is going down some dangerous path and it can lead to other things. i love my mom and dad and even though are beliefs are not the same (well they are but they arent) I know if there is anything I need I know I can count on them because they dont judge but they love me. Just some honest advice

[Metalwolf]

Hi, I am also one of the few Christians in this present generation of my family, and I kinda know how you feel. Most are agnostics and a few are probably athiests and spiritists, and thats all I know. I still live among them and talk to them, but I pray for them too. I don't follow their lifestyles, but I try not to be preachy either. If I am asked (or suggested as an answer to a predicament) to do something that I feel is counter to my beliefs (like lying) then I will say, "I don't feel comfortable doing that, is there another way?"

I do also feel scared that anyone of my family members won't accept Christ before its too late, but its something a person must give up to God and pray for God to work in the unbeliever, as its something the unbeliever must come to him/herself and can't be forced.

By me being around them, they see me as being me (let it be in a good way ) but hopefully they will see Christ in me too.

[Christian_lady]

I do also feel scared that anyone of my family members won't accept Christ before its too late, but its something a person must give up to God and pray for God to work in the unbeliever, as its something the unbeliever must come to him/herself and can't be forced.
.

I don't know if this helps:

I used to be afraid of my family members' salvation but I studied (a bit) the book of revelations and discovered there are SO many second chances given to people who chose to live a life of atheism.

One of the passages that keeps me at peace is Rev. chapter 7

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...7;&version=50;

Verse 14 especially: “These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."

I keep in mind that IF my family is going through the tribulation, they might remember my choice and acknowledge Jesus is the way and (hopefully) they will be one of the people who will be saved.

CL

[Christian_lady]

My family is my life. Without them I would be sunk. My mom, my dad yeah we have had our issues and now thank goodness despite their flaws and everything they have been there for me when it was like no one else was there. I personally think sitting there and judging everyone for their beliefs is going down some dangerous path and it can lead to other things. i love my mom and dad and even though are beliefs are not the same (well they are but they arent) I know if there is anything I need I know I can count on them because they dont judge but they love me. Just some honest advice

I want to be clear that is not who I am or what I do, it's great advice though for anyone, not just family members.

[ServantofTruth]

Be pro-active. Invite these family members round or out for coffee/ a meal. Invite them to stay for a holiday. Write by snail mail or e mail, phone them.

So you're a Christian. That means you and I are guilty for everything ever done in our Lord's name and everything preached in the most extreme churches.

The only way to not allow people to think this way, is to communicate with them and show them who you really are in Jesus' name. The really you isn't bad from what I've seen. SofTy.

[Metalwolf]

I don't know if this helps:

I used to be afraid of my family members' salvation but I studied (a bit) the book of revelations and discovered there are SO many second chances given to people who chose to live a life of atheism.

One of the passages that keeps me at peace is Rev. chapter 7

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/...7;&version=50;

Verse 14 especially: “These are the ones who come out of the great tribulation, and washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."

I keep in mind that IF my family is going through the tribulation, they might remember my choice and acknowledge Jesus is the way and (hopefully) they will be one of the people who will be saved.

CL

Ah, thankies!

[Scubadude]

My family is starting to view me as the "judgmental" Christian. They feel uncomfortable around me, opening up to me because of the way I've changed.....

I feel kind of lonely lately, and sometimes when I see movies such as The Birdcage, it kind of reminds me of how my family 'used' to be - loving, always there for each other, didn't matter if you were gay - we still accept you, etc.......

For a split second, I reconsider if Christ was a good decision because I'm losing my family...But of course I KNOW that I have to place Him above all.

That makes me sad, Christian Lady. Jesus was always in the company of sinners, and the reputation he got was he was their friend. I imagine everyone has a story of how they felt ostracized "for their faith".

I think your statement about reconsidering Christ as a good decision is brilliant. I don't believe Jesus should be rejected, but there is a way that Jesus is portrayed by churches that probably should be rejected. All the systems of theology, discipleship programs, witnessing techniques, devotionals, and endless lists of ministries has created a ton of smoke to walk through for the average Christian. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds.

Bless your heart. Loneliness is a very appropriate feeling.

[navigator]

one thing I just thought of is in the Bible Jesus never seemed to condemn sinners or do anything but show them love. What seemed to make him upset where when His children didn't do what they knew was right (the money changers in the temple etc).

I think as has been mentioned many times, just love them and be who you are.
In parts of my family I am the only one that lives like a Christian but at all the meals they ask me to say the blessing. Maybe ask if you can say the blessing/give thanks and make sure to show your love for them in that prayer without being preachy.