My advice would be continue to grow before tackling this issue. Discipline yourself to read the bible daily. Take time each day to talk to Jesus/ God as a friend. Open up privately first.
Keep this in mind as you read and pray each day. Write down any verses you think apply to it.
You are forgiven by Grace, not the balance of good to bad you do. There are many people you can love and help because our Lord loved you first. These neighbours may or may not be amoung them. SofTy.
1 Corinthians 1:12-13 Now this I say, that every one of you saith, I am of Paul; and I of Apollos: and I of Cephas; and I of Christ.
Is Christ divided? was Paul crucified for you? or were ye baptised in the name of Paul?
May the power of the Spirit of our God unite us. SofTy.