When Does Appreciation of Feminine Beauty Become Lust?

[Buck shot]

I can't speak for every guy but it seems that i know when my looking become lusting. When thoughts other than just "she's a pretty woman" start happening, BEWARE

[JaybeeinBibleForum]

I think we all need to remember that we are MEN, and were designed by Him to desire women sexually. If that is considered lust, so be it; eunuchs aside, I believe only one man in history hasn't been lustful at one point.

We also need to remember that there the difference between fornication with a woman (who is not our wife), and merely imagining how nice that would be, is FAR wider than the difference between imagination, and simple appreciation of her beauty.

Further, I feel it's easy for us guys of a certain age to pontificate to our younger brothers, but I remember what it was like to be a healthy, strapping red-blooded 18 y.o drowning in my own testosterone, just a smile from a fully clothed pretty girl on a summer's day would get my heart thudding and hormones racing (and sometimes it still does!!).

Anyway, I wish all my brothers, both young and young at heart, the very best of luck in keeping themselves in check; they won't always succeed, but I feel if you draw a firm line between looking, and touching, that's a pretty good start right there.

[Metamorphasis]

I personally believe a lot of it relies on whether you focus purely on physical looks. When I first met my ex, I found her to be the most beautiful woman, her face seemed to shine with a radiance, and that was only possible because I saw an enduring light within her heart. I saw love and kindness coming from her, and seemed to make her face and entire physical being more glorious then the most prized flowers. Just my 2 cents from personal experience.

[RedBird777]

Married men have to be careful with your statement.

I also think you can just want her and that is lust. It doesn't have to entail violation.

Yes, that is true. I meant along more along the lines that you would WANT to...not necessarily what you do. It is what is in your heart that determines the sin - not the actions.
Sorry for that confusion.

[HisLeast]

Its not something you can apply a metric to. You just know.

I know there's a difference between finding a woman beautiful and longing for her sexually. Only one of those thoughts stays in your head for an extended period of time.

[tango]

Yes, that is true. I meant along more along the lines that you would WANT to...not necessarily what you do. It is what is in your heart that determines the sin - not the actions.
Sorry for that confusion.

I don't think you have to want to violate someone to cross the line into lust.

A desire to take her home with her consent can still cross that line.

[RedBird777]

I don't think you have to want to violate someone to cross the line into lust.

A desire to take her home with her consent can still cross that line.

A desire to take her home? You mean, walk with her back to her place? If you are saying that just walking with a girl is lust, then I think we have to look at the definition.

Main Entry:1lust Pronunciation: \ˈləst\ Function:noun Etymology:Middle English, from Old English; akin to Old High German lust pleasure and perhaps to Latin lascivus wantonDate:before 12th century 1obsolete a: pleasure , delight b: personal inclination : wish2: usu. intense or unbridled sexual desire : lasciviousness3 a: an intense longing : craving <a lust to succeed> b: enthusiasm , eagerness <admired his lust for life>
m-w.com




God made man to want a woman, and to take her as a wife. As a HUMAN, we are a social species, and we need companionship (not just man-woman-love companionship). If a man just walks and talks with a woman, how is that lust? How is that wrong?
If the man wants the woman, as in WANTS her WITHOUT love, then that is lust. If a man wants a woman , as in for a friend, then what wrongs are made?

Again, it is what is in the man's heart. If it is a longing (Like David and Bathsheba), then that is wrong. But what if a man loves this woman? Is it then wrong to want her as a wife?

Now if you meant to have sex with her outside of marriage, then that is another sin called adultery.

So maybe I'm confused - are we talking about lust or adultery? Maybe that will clarify what I'm supposed to think.

[tango]

A desire to take her home? You mean, walk with her back to her place? If you are saying that just walking with a girl is lust, then I think we have to look at the definition.

Main Entry:1lust Pronunciation: \ˈləst\ Function:noun Etymology:Middle English, from Old English; akin to Old High German lust pleasure and perhaps to Latin lascivus wantonDate:before 12th century 1obsolete a: pleasure , delight b: personal inclination : wish2: usu. intense or unbridled sexual desire : lasciviousness3 a: an intense longing : craving <a lust to succeed> b: enthusiasm , eagerness <admired his lust for life>
m-w.com




God made man to want a woman, and to take her as a wife. As a HUMAN, we are a social species, and we need companionship (not just man-woman-love companionship). If a man just walks and talks with a woman, how is that lust? How is that wrong?
If the man wants the woman, as in WANTS her WITHOUT love, then that is lust. If a man wants a woman , as in for a friend, then what wrongs are made?

Again, it is what is in the man's heart. If it is a longing (Like David and Bathsheba), then that is wrong. But what if a man loves this woman? Is it then wrong to want her as a wife?

Now if you meant to have sex with her outside of marriage, then that is another sin called adultery.

So maybe I'm confused - are we talking about lust or adultery? Maybe that will clarify what I'm supposed to think.

I'm trying to avoid being too graphic here, "take her home" is euphemistic for going further than the front door.

Sorry if it wasn't clear... it may be a cultural thing

[RedBird777]

I'm trying to avoid being too graphic here, "take her home" is euphemistic for going further than the front door.

Sorry if it wasn't clear... it may be a cultural thing

I guess. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
So I do agree with you - even if you want it consensual, it is lust.

[ZAB]

It's a thin line, but I believe there's a point when "lust hath conceived" (Jas 1:15), and becomes sin. The world we now live in makes that line harder and harder to discern.

[Brother Mark]

If feminine beauty is but one of the many channels by which Creation glorifies God, are we as men incorrect to appreciate feminine beauty as such?

Is there a difference between looking at a beatiful woman with lust in one's heart and looking at her while praising God for creating such beauty?

If you are married, I would highly discourage you from appreciating other women's beauty. Also, keep in mind that lust and covetousness are from similar roots.

[RabbiKnife]

When does appreciation of a beautiful woman become lust....

About the time that you start having an increase in blood pressure in a certain part of the body that would alleviate the need for Viagra.

About the time your mind goes from "she's beautiful" to "I wish I could..."

About the time your mind goes from recognizing her beauty for what it is to creating a single image of a fantasy that depicts her in a different circumstance...

[MontanaCowboy]

When you begin to conger up thoughts of coveting her, that is temptation & you can still turn away. Once you to start to act on the temptation it becomes sin. This is of course IF either one of you are not single & free to start a relationship towards that end.
However if you are both able to do without sin & your intentions are honorable, then it is called acting on attraction. Just don't be blinded by what you see of her flesh or yo will surely suffer. Look deep, very very deep.

[AngelAuthor]

If you are married, I would highly discourage you from appreciating other women's beauty.

As a married man, I don't think this is something that any normal guy can help. There's nothing separating a married man appreciating a beautiful woman from a single man. It's a sight thing, and there's no need for married men to pluck out their eyes.

Having said that, there are different responses for a married man who sees a beautiful woman. I don't like at all the idea that married men should feel ASHAMED that they think a woman beautiful, but he shouldn't stare, while a single man is free to do so (as long as his thoughts are contained). A married man probably shouldn't comment, either in or outside the presence of his wife, while a single man is free to do so.

[bagofseed]

It's not about rules.
It is about a clean conscience before God.


Also I would comment to my wife about women who caught my eye.
It was a good safety valve.

Granted we did end up divorced but she told me later when dating again how she felt when I would notice and comment, and how bad she felt when her dates where distracted from her.

When she asked why things where different with me. I told her that she was more important to me then some woman across the room. That I loved her and that was why it was different.

Works the same with God.
See some temptation, something caught our eye or your heart.
Talk to God about it and find safety in that relationship.

God's Best