When Does Appreciation of Feminine Beauty Become Lust?

[tt1106]

"You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' {28} "But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. {29} "If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell. {30} "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell."

Jesus is speaking of intent here. The reason we sin just by looking at a woman and lusting is because we unlike Jesus would give in to our temptation if we could. The message here is to avoid being tempted to sin, not to avoid committing the sin.

[Papa Polar Bear]

Having said that, there are different responses for a married man who sees a beautiful woman. I don't like at all the idea that married men should feel ASHAMED that they think a woman beautiful, but he shouldn't stare, while a single man is free to do so (as long as his thoughts are contained). A married man probably shouldn't comment, either in or outside the presence of his wife, while a single man is free to do so.

With honest and open communication with your spouse, there is no need to worry about what to say or not to say. There has to be a point when Men stand up and say "We are Men. We are not perfect!" If you can have an open conversation with your wife, you will find that your comments do not really make her upset with you, but they point out some silly inadequacy that your wife has that does not make her feel like a complete woman. Most of the time you will find that it is something that you have not even noticed and probably don't care about. Once the communication is open, you will find that talking about everything is easier, and you may even find that those little things that seem to distract you wife disappear because she is no long self-conscience and with her renewed view of herself, makes her even sexier than she was when you first married her.

I know this from first hand experience. It was some tough times and conversations, but when she realized I am not comparing anybody to anybody, and I am just appreciating the woman for who she is, she was able to open up to me. It seems that she had some insecurities about things that I never knew. Because of that, we have been able to work on her feelings, and get her to understand that she is absolutely perfect, at least for me. I can honestly say I love my wife more now than when we first got married.

[buster]

Very true, wanting her enough to do things you shouldn't with her is lust, regardless of the issue of consent.

If you're desiring her enough to be willing to violate her I'd say that had gone way beyond the boundary into lust.

So then, does this mean that Matthew 5:28 in fact technically flows along with the 10th commandment?

I of course do have to admit that, even if lust is not sexual fantasies/pipe dreams, I still would certainly like my ideal woman to be one highly capable of bending my sexual fantasies/pipe dreams towards her.

[Liquid Tension]

Wow! A 3 year old thread.

[andrew_no_one]

If feminine beauty is but one of the many channels by which Creation glorifies God, are we as men incorrect to appreciate feminine beauty as such?

Is there a difference between looking at a beatiful woman with lust in one's heart and looking at her while praising God for creating such beauty?

Question: Where in the Bible does it say that "feminine beauty is but one of the many channels by which Creation glorifies God"? Answer: No where. From this I conclude that the ponderings of such are worthless.

[-SEEKING-]

Wow! A 3 year old thread.

EXACTLY !

[andrew_no_one]

EXACTLY !

We're going to have to take the training wheels off the bicycle soon!

[-SEEKING-]

We're going to have to take the training wheels off the bicycle soon!

Indeed.

[BrianW]

When does appreciation of a beautiful woman become lust....

About the time that you start having an increase in blood pressure in a certain part of the body that would alleviate the need for Viagra.

About the time your mind goes from "she's beautiful" to "I wish I could..."

About the time your mind goes from recognizing her beauty for what it is to creating a single image of a fantasy that depicts her in a different circumstance...

Perfect answer. I miss this guy.

[Warrior4God]

I think that the fact that men find women attractive and admire their beauty is good. I mean, as men, are we to find men attractive? Obviously not. God does not condone homosexuality, despite what some more "enlightened" unbelievers, and believers, claim. He created men to be with women, and part of that involves men being, well, attracted to women, does it not? Can that be overdone? Of course. However, in an effort not to overdo it, I'm not going to go to the other extreme like some guys do and act like a eunich and pretend like the physicality of women doesn't interest me in the least just so I can appear more pious or something.

[amazzin]

It becomes lust when you want to do thingswith that women that is reserved for your wife. Sexual desires with the women is lust.

1 John 2:16 --> For everything in the world--the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does--comes not from the Father but from the world

If feminine beauty is but one of the many channels by which Creation glorifies God, are we as men incorrect to appreciate feminine beauty as such?

Is there a difference between looking at a beatiful woman with lust in one's heart and looking at her while praising God for creating such beauty?

[Warrior4God]

Question: Where in the Bible does it say that "feminine beauty is but one of the many channels by which Creation glorifies God"? Answer: No where. From this I conclude that the ponderings of such are worthless.

Sorry to be so blunt, but the men that claim not to have the ability, or desire, to find women attractive are either liars, spiritual eunichs, gay, blind, or just outright dead. None of those scenarios, thank God, apply to me. Just sayin'...

[andrew_no_one]

Beauty can be unimportant or not applicable, as in a woman not one's wife. There may be some other pretty women out there somewhere, but I don't care. The happenstance that their physique is what society finds attractive today is not some means by which God is glorified. God is glorified either way and no matter what.

[BrianW]

Very true. I cannot deny that I love to see a beautiful girl though. God made woman for man and man, I sure do appreciate that!

The trick for me is to just take a quick look and say to myself "Wow. She's beautiful." (Or something similar) and then either turn my head and think of something else or to say a little prayer of "Lord, please keep the lust beast down.She isn't worth hell."

I would like to point something else out as well though. I've found many times as I got older that sometimes who a person is, how they act and conduct themselves, can reflect mightily on how beautiful I think they are despite what they physically look like. A woman I may have thought was a plain Jane or just average can turn into what I see as a very beautiful person after I've really gotten to know them.
The reverse can be true as well of course.

[John 8:32]

A woman I may have thought was a plain Jane or just average can turn into what I see as a very beautiful person after I've really gotten to know them.
The reverse can be true as well of course.

Well, I gotta say that I thought Lindsay Lohan was attactive at one time. That time has come and gone.