I havn't decided what I believe in yet... I have recently visited Thailand and seen the Thai's taking their religion seriously and decided I would upon my return to England start looking into where my believes lie.
I've always believed in creation and I believe in someone looking after me and guiding me. I'm not sure why, I don't feel a presence... not as such... More when I look back on my life everything I have ever wanted has happened.
I remember someone in church once (I was about 9) saying to me about the chances of Earth having been an accident is about 1,000,000 times more unlikely than putting all the pieces of a watch into a box... shaking it around and hoping when you open the box there it is ticking...
That stuck with me... As a result, sometimes also I look at something and realise just how perfect it is... Look at a flower... It is more perfect than a clock, which took thousands of years to design and yet I'm led to believe that this flower evolved from a speck of space dust.
I've been given so much in my life already and everything I experience I feel privilidge to have been given. However I am not sure who or what it is that has given me and sometimes I get sad... even frustrated at this
I've decided to read the bible although I havn't made my mind up about Jesus or God. I want to read all of the bible and I don't want to say 'Im a Christian' when I don't mean it because I think that is totally against the point of what I am trying to do. I'm not demanding God show himself to me or anything like that, but I'm trying to decide what I'm looking for... it's hard to describe and I'm not sure I'm doing things the right way.
Any advice / people who have had simular experiences?