hi I'm new here, holding my breath

[TrueBlue]

New and holding my breath because I'm not sure how I will be received here. I grew up in a Christian home and was/am a Christian. But a series of events happened in the last year and I fell away. I struggled with depression. I became distant in my marriage and to my children and to make a long story short had an affair.

I feel so ashamed and I am so sorry for my sin, ashamed for what I have done. I have asked the Lord back into my heart and asked for His forgiveness. I have a wonderful loving husband who, for some reason has made up his mind to forgive me and let me stay with our family.

We are going to counseling and working on this but I am finding it hard to forgive myself. I was just hoping to find some advice, maybe some encouragement, maybe a friend. Because of this incident, because of me, we have lost all of our friends, and to top it off, the "other man" has made sure to tell his side of the story, lied, and blamed the whole thing on me, painting an already horrible picture even worse, making himself the victim to our friends.

I am NOT looking for anyone to tell me it's ok, help me justify my sin, or in anyway make me feel better about what I have done. I just simply would like encouragement to find God again, maybe a friend or two that might understand.
Thanks.

[karenoka27]

Welcome to the board.

You are not unlike many other Christians who have given in to the flesh. None of us are above what you have done:

Matthew 5:27-29-"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

I will confess to you that I have in the past had thought in my mind regarding someone else. That makes me no better or worse than what you have done.

The point is to confess, the Lord forgives and we must repent. We have to walk away from those thoughts and desires.
Read this carefully:
John 8:2-11-"And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more"



Jesus never says, "Why did you do this against Me, why did you walk away from Me to commit this adultery." He says 'I forgive you. Don't do it again." That is repentance. The Lord puts us back on the path He has laid out for us...so that we will walk in it, following Him.


I hope you will stay, and I hope you will find great encouragement here. I have made many friends here and I think you will as well.

[Vhayes]

Hi there True Blue -

I just wanted to wish you a warm welcome and to tell you to please stop holding your breath. You are no better or worse than anyone else here - we are all sinners saved by grace and we all fall at some point. There are no perfect Christians, only a perfect Savior. The key is telling Jesus you know what you did is wrong and asking that He use it for His glory and your growth.

I John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Hope that helps a bit - I'm glad you're here.
V

[sunsetssplendor]

Sadly our sin has a way of producing guilt that does not easily let go of its grip on us or of resurfacing, months or years later, with raw pain all over again.

I encourage you to read your bible, join a church (if you haven't) and make new friends - Christian friends that will accept you and encourage you in your walk with Christ.

Bottom line is he loves you dearly and has already forgiven you.

[KJo]

Welcome to the boards TrueBlue

I agree, quit holding your breath. I by no means have any right to judge you. I have done horrible things in the past myself, and though I still remember and regret them. I know that God can forgive even the things that it is hard for us to forgive ourselves for.

His grace is SUFFICIENT for us all

[mrsparks]

Welcome TrueBlue, all of us have sinned & fallen short of the glory of God. That's what God's grace is all about! I understand your shame. It wasn't until I had done something that was, to me, unspeakable that I truly understood God's grace. I wondered how God could still love me. But He does. And He loves you too! Time will help you and your family heal. Just remember that He can use for good what the devil meant for evil!

[L'Ange]

New and holding my breath because I'm not sure how I will be received here. I grew up in a Christian home and was/am a Christian. But a series of events happened in the last year and I fell away. I struggled with depression. I became distant in my marriage and to my children and to make a long story short had an affair.

I feel so ashamed and I am so sorry for my sin, ashamed for what I have done. I have asked the Lord back into my heart and asked for His forgiveness. I have a wonderful loving husband who, for some reason has made up his mind to forgive me and let me stay with our family.

We are going to counseling and working on this but I am finding it hard to forgive myself. I was just hoping to find some advice, maybe some encouragement, maybe a friend. Because of this incident, because of me, we have lost all of our friends, and to top it off, the "other man" has made sure to tell his side of the story, lied, and blamed the whole thing on me, painting an already horrible picture even worse, making himself the victim to our friends.

I am NOT looking for anyone to tell me it's ok, help me justify my sin, or in anyway make me feel better about what I have done. I just simply would like encouragement to find God again, maybe a friend or two that might understand.
Thanks.

VHayes beat me to saying it first: "If we turn away from our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Hey, you want I should put you on a reeeal guilt trip? You gonna believe your Heavenly Father or not, young lady?

We surely have all fallen short. But our Savior gets us back up again when we ask Him to do so.

I hear very positive things about you from your post. You take sin seriously. You take Abba and His Word seriously. There are so many phonies out there Trueblue, not uncommonly to be found right next to one in the Church pews looking all proper and righteous. Such have sinned too, but they are not convicted, as you are.

You have apparently had quite a painful experience in a lot of ways. Yes, it might help for you to have some people you can trust to help you sort things out and pray for you. I hope you will be very prayerful, discrete and careful about that, though. Not all good friends are in Churches, though of course some are found there. Your Abba knows where they are.

It seems like that the "some reason" your husband took you back is because he loves you and sees the worth you have to him and your family. I am proud of him for being forgiving.

I'm proud of you, too, for wanting to do what is right and live more wisely.

[Jeanne D]

Welcome to the board.
You have repented of your sin and God has forgiven you.
We're not here to condemn you, because God doesn't condemn you.

May God restore your relationship with Him and with your family.

Many blessings to you.

Jeanne

[livingwaters]

Welcome to the board, Trueblue!!! You sound human.................. listen, Jesus died on the cross so you and I could be forgiven and cleansed of our sins; therefore, you say that you have repented and confessed to Jesus, so now receive HIS forgiveness. Also, the stripes he took at Calvary were for our healing. HIS Word says this!! It is the TRUTH, the only TRUTH!!!

We can't enjoy HIS peace and joy if we are living under condemnation. The Bible says when we are saved, there is no more condemnation, as we are in Christ and HE is in us! Don't let satan steal anything else from you. Read Ephesians 6 and learn how to wear the full armour of God!!! Alleluia!

God Bless

[kayte]

I hope by this point in the thread, you've taken a few breaths!

I was watching a video the other day - Louie Giglio, How Great is Our God - and he was showing the HUGENESS of the universe. It occurred to me that when His word says that He casts our sins as far as the east is from the west, that He meant more than just the east and west of this planet. He meant as far as the east is from the west of this universe!

Be at peace. He has forgiven you and you are heeding His instruction to 'go and sin no more'. He intends you good and not harm.

Read this verse: Song of Solomon 2:4 He brought me to the banqueting house,
And his banner over me was love.

He loves you and you are welcome here.

[matthew7and1]

Be blessed! I struggle every single day with my shortcomings as do many of us here. Do not worry about being judged, be prepared to be loved!
This board has a great group of loving and supportive folks who I'm sure will be there for you and whom you will have much to contribute to as well...
Looking forward to seeing you around!

[TrueBlue]

I want to thank each and every one of you! I've jotted down some of the verses you've shared for me to study later. I feel much better today (but I struggle with even saying that--should I allow myself to feel better?)

I am moved to tears at your responses. While we are a part of a Bible-believing church, many of the couples our age are concerned about outward appearances, wealth, judging others, etc. and it has been hard for us to try to fit in.

You all seem so kind, I just wanted to share with each of you what a blessing you are to me on this day.

I hope to remain here because I think this is a good, healthy, Spirit-filled place for me to be right now, I just don't have a lot of time to spend on the computer each day.

Incidently, I am breathing now! Thanks again!

[EagleWatch]

I want to thank each and every one of you! I've jotted down some of the verses you've shared for me to study later. I feel much better today (but I struggle with even saying that--should I allow myself to feel better?)

I am moved to tears at your responses. While we are a part of a Bible-believing church, many of the couples our age are concerned about outward appearances, wealth, judging others, etc. and it has been hard for us to try to fit in.

You all seem so kind, I just wanted to share with each of you what a blessing you are to me on this day.

I hope to remain here because I think this is a good, healthy, Spirit-filled place for me to be right now, I just don't have a lot of time to spend on the computer each day.

Incidently, I am breathing now! Thanks again!

Welcome TrueBlue
Have you ever felt like this? about the outward-wealth-judging other's etc. in your church arggghhhh BTDT and I left because of all of it. The focus wasn't on Jesus but on self. Praying for you!

[L'Ange]

Trueblue - I am so glad you are feeling better. You are also giving us all a chance to confess we are not perfect either and to obey Yahshua in ministering to a sister.

Here is another Bible passage, one your initial post made me think of after I had typed my response yesterday:


9 And he spake also this parable unto certain who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and set all others at nought:
10 Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
12 I fast twice in the week; I give tithes of all that I get.
13 But the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote his breast, saying, God, be thou merciful to me a sinner. 14 I say unto you, This man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be humbled; but he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

Luke 18
I guess we all know that publicans/tax collectors were the most despised of people in Israel because of their extortionist practices and etc.

And just for good measure, if anyone seems to be trying to judge you harshly at all:

“Why does your Teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?” When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. “But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’ For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” - Matt 9: 9-13.

[cnw]

there is a book called from forgiveness to forgiven. good book.
God does forgive, after we repent, he promises to forgive. I hope you only find encouragement here. You know why I like the story of David and bathsheba? David sinned. He didn't continue his sin, it was a one time thing and he repented, but there were serious consequences to that sin and God did forgive him.
sin has consequences, God forgives. I understand your position in a very personal way. pm me sometime when you have that ability.
Cynth