Hi everyone. I'm new here and thought sharing my testimony might help you get to know me a bit better. Plus, I pray it might edify the body of Christ and maybe give some witness to non-Christians here.
I grew up in a strong Christian home where my WHOLE family lived within a 50 mile radius. By the time I left home for college, I had NO doubts of who I was in Christ. I'd accepted Him as my savior when I was 12 years old and spent my childhood totally devoted to learning more and becoming what I "thought" He wanted me to be. In my childlike mind that meant - making good grades, not getting involved with the teenage drinking / drug / sex scene, obeying my parents, and having a clear path for my future laid out for me. (I'm not saying these things are against God - but I'm only saying in my immaturity it's all I thought was necessary.)
Looking back I see how HORRIBLY arrogant, prideful and legalistic I was! I was smart, pretty, a "good girl" and could answer all the questions in my new church's college age Bible Study Class. I was really in "tune" with how to be a Christian.
Fast Forward Five Years:
I was 23 and working with a young man 3 years my junior.....We ate lunch together daily with other co-workers for a whole year at work. He'd asked me out a few times over the 12 months, but I always declined. Eventually we did (sort of) "date" after work.....(we never really dated. I don't know what to call what we did, maybe courted?) We had dinner with his mother and spent large amounts of time with her and his Aunt. I attended church with them several times and they visited my church. We celebrated Easter together since I was unable to make the 4 hour drive home that year to visit my own family.....
Finally - we married after a year of this. I was happy to have a Christian husband I was "set out" to start my life as a Christian wife, develop my Christian Home, and start having babies I could raise in the LORD! Yea!
(All good things, yes?)
My husband was basically a baby Christian, only having accepted Christ late in his teen years. His family was not so keen on going to church so his background knowledge of the Bible was not as strong as mine. And his parents weren't really all that happy with how I planned on raising their grandchildren, either. There were very hurt feeling all the way around. My husband didn't know HOW to be a Christian leader in our home. He was frustrated with me pushing him to be so. I became frustrated and sort of "took over." Which of course only complicated the mess even further.
Then we found out we couldn't have children - at all - ever. I had a tumor that grew off of my ovaries that prevented child bearing and eventually, I had a hysterectomy.
During the past 15 years of marriage, I've been humbled, learned to shut my mouth and let my husband make the final decisions, learned to forgive in ways I never thought were possible, held on tight to God's hand when being wheeled into surgery at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester MN, and believe it or not - I DO NOT HAVE ALL OF THE ANSWERS!
Also during this time, my husband has grown so close to the Lord. He's learned to be the leader in our home. He's matured in ways that amaze me. When we first married, I believed with all my heart I was superior to him. I believe now we're equals and I have so confessed and begged for forgiveness on my "Pharisee - itis" disease I harbored for so long.
I say I accepted Christ when I was 12. But I didn't start living with the heart of Christ until after I married at 23. It took me a long time to be shown that God doesn't want you to KNOW the facts, He wants us to live them in accordance to HIS Glory - not our own. Why did it take so long for me to figure that out?
I thank God daily for my husband. He's been a true partner in our lives. And I have faith - that God always knows what is best for us - even if we do not understand it and don't like it. God loves so much. More than we can possibly know.
Thanks for reading this.