I know teen rebellion is common, but I do not know what to do. My 17 yr old son hates me. I mean, he absolutely hates me. I keep finding letters he writes to his girlfriend(s) and one he wrote to me and they are all about how much he hates me and how selfish I am and how I think I am god and he hates church and doesn't believe in God, etc. These are all anger issues, but they seem very unfounded to me. He calls all Christians hyprcrits and says they are ruining the world by trying to tell other people how to live.
I try very hard to be fair and reasonable without compromising Truth and Biblical moral standards. Everyone I have sought counsel from IRL says the same thing "you are doing the right thing" but if I am doing it so right, how is he turning out so WRONG?
His letters are so peppered with profanity I can barely stand to read them. Of course, what he wants and expects is totally unrealistic...complete freedom, never being told NO, no curfews, etc. AND when he is mean to his younger siblings, I am supposed to "let it go" because, according to him "they deserved it".
He is very selfish and mean, I mean VERY and very verbally abusive to his siblings. He even says he is proud to be seflish. I have tried counseling and he is unwilling and uncooperative. Since he rejects God, he will not hear godly counsel. He is a huge hyporcrit, calling me selfish all the time and calling ME a hypocrit.
Honestly, maybe I have been TOO lax, because I expect him to be responsible for himself and that is about all. He says that is unreasonable but yet he wants emancipation. He is obviously naive to what being an adult really is.
I am re-married and we have raised the kids in church from day 1. We practice what we preach and are, really, very sefless people! I do not mean to toot my own horn, but setting the good example is NOT working. I admit when I am wrong and make sure they see I am not perfect.
His language and how he talks to his friends is horrid. He is so angry and his reasons are all very petty. They are HUGE to him but he has probably had it TOO good and is probably spoiled. His biological father is in another state and rarely sees them. We have seriously considered sending him to live with his bio-dad because of how he treats my other 2 kids (they all have the same dad).
He wants to move out as soon as he is 18 and I am all for it but he is taking NO steps towards that goal. He does not even have a driver's license yet. We keep trying to encourage him and have helped him out a lot (more than we should) but he is also "lazy and proud of it" and will not take steps for his OWN goals!
He has abused caffiene a time or two but his drug tests come up clean. He says caffeine is "fun" and harmless called me a hypocrit because I drink one cup of coffee every morning.
I honestly do not know what to do. I love him, but I cannot stand to be around him at this point. All I have been doing, besides constantly seeking counsel from other Christians, is "keep on keeping on" and "kill'em with kindness" and I just treat him well even tho he uses me and says these awful things about me to other people. I am not afriad of confronting him and I don't walk on eggshells.
I really want to send him away, but I don't want him to feel un-loved. I love him, but I do not like him. I know this sounds harsh but this has been going on for YEARS and while we are less than a year away from his 18th, I know he will fall flat on his face when he tries to make it on his own, what am I supposed to do? Emancipation is not an option. I sometimes wish it were.