Moms staying home

[Inthestorm]

Have you noticed how far the pendulum has swung the other way? A few decades ago, it was not only okay, but expected that the Mom stay home and be a Mom and housewife. Now, people act as though something is wrong with you if you don't have a big career. Now that we're in the midst of a down economy, and we have lost the value in our home, etc., etc., etc., and have no preparation for the future... I find my biggest regret being staying home all those years...what is wrong and what is right???

[steelerbabe]

I honestly don't think one amswer fits all. I have quit working full time after my second child was born. I worked part time when she went to school. It has been a struggle financially and sometimes I wish I had continued to work full time to provide the basics. Bottom line, if you can afford to stay home and raise your children it is usually for the better.

[*Hope*]

Have you noticed how far the pendulum has swung the other way? A few decades ago, it was not only okay, but expected that the Mom stay home and be a Mom and housewife. Now, people act as though something is wrong with you if you don't have a big career. Now that we're in the midst of a down economy, and we have lost the value in our home, etc., etc., etc., and have no preparation for the future... I find my biggest regret being staying home all those years...what is wrong and what is right???

Well, honestly, I think you've bought into what our culture teaches: there's more value in material things than in relationships and family. Sure, it would be great if you had a nest egg, but you can't let that regret make you think that the time with your kids was wasted. That was probably a way more substantial investment than any financial investment you could've made. You did prepare for the future by investing in and giving your children time to be nurtured by their Mom, helping develop their character, teaching them your values that they can carry on in the future. Plus, if your children are older now...can't you go to work now to help put it in savings or something?

[ImHe]

My wife is a stay at homer and I intend to keep it that way, it just takes more sacrifices. It means that we are choosing not to have all the american luxuries: big house, nice car, cable tv, etc. Why should women take on the curse specifically given to men.

[Dani H]

I work from home in order to keep a strong home base and be with my children while also helping with bills and such. I can always have a career later. Besides, I tried the rat race and hated it. The extra money just isn't worth the extra stress and the time away from my kids. Sure I make a lot less money than I could, but I save a lot more too, so it's all good. And some things you just can't put a price on because they're priceless.

[canvasjockey]

I think it's something that each family has to decide on. The pendulum has actually swung back and forth a few times, of course up until the 60's it was the norm for mom to stay home, then by the late 80's mom was expected to be super... holding down a successful career while fully caring for husband and kids. By the 90's there was a definite trend, mainly in christian circles, for mom to stay home, period, no excuses. Now there seems to be a balance, or maybe we're in mid pendulum swing. Mom's are finding more creative ways to contribute to the family income while still being there for their children (like you, Dani). I even know many non-christian moms who choose to quit their jobs to stay home.

The teacher of the mom's class I took at our church said it well.... work outside the home if you must to make ends meet, but not if you're just doing it to support a higher lifestyle.

I stayed home when our kids were little, doing occasional free lance art, though when they were that young it was hard to accomplish much and the pay never matched the hours I'd put into it. After a while I found myself spending the majority of my awake time glued to my computer putting together publications. I realized I really wasn't there for my kids even though I was home. That's what made me decide when the kids were both in school that I would take on part time jobs outside the home where I worked only while they were in school - that way the time I had at home could be spent being mom.

I'm still doing that, drop them off at school on my way to work then get home in time to pick them up. They're both teenagers now, but they still need mom around, maybe in some ways more so than when they were little.

While the "regular" job helps keep our finances stable, I'm building steam with my painting career, which of course is done at home... the art room is our family room (my husband and daughter are also artists), we watch movies and hang out as a family.

It's really about meeting reasonable financial needs without sacrificing important quality time with your family.

[Inthestorm]

canvasjockey...you've touched on a sensitive subject! I was going to be an art major, until I decided it wasn't a practical way to make a living. I ended up with a secretarial science degree, wanting the hours but not realizing how badly I would hate the environment and confinement. Now I'm outdated because I haven't kept up with technology, but my Dh is self-employed and trying to avoid bankrupting. Health insurance is a MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR sore subject! My husband often says that it is not my place to bring the bread, but other times he resents me for not doing it...!?!? Even though we are on the brink of Chapter 7, I have a 14 year old still at home and I know somehow that he needs me...but the finances need help, too...????????

Question is...HOW do you make it as an artist? I have long considered that as a liabillity, not an asset. For instance...NO aptitute for math. NONE, WHATSOEVER.

[canvasjockey]

Inthestorm... I really do feel your pain! We've relied partly on self employment for years, and it would be scary to try to survive on it alone.

Art is a tough field to succeed in, and it might help you feel better to know that majoring in art isn't neccassary for a career. Most successful artists I know are mainly self taught, most art majors are either teaching or doing everything but art. If you develop some skill and find your niche market, you can usually bring in some income. If you want to talk art career ideas more, go ahead and PM me!

[moonglow]

canvasjockey...you've touched on a sensitive subject! I was going to be an art major, until I decided it wasn't a practical way to make a living. I ended up with a secretarial science degree, wanting the hours but not realizing how badly I would hate the environment and confinement. Now I'm outdated because I haven't kept up with technology, but my Dh is self-employed and trying to avoid bankrupting. Health insurance is a MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR sore subject! My husband often says that it is not my place to bring the bread, but other times he resents me for not doing it...!?!? Even though we are on the brink of Chapter 7, I have a 14 year old still at home and I know somehow that he needs me...but the finances need help, too...????????

Question is...HOW do you make it as an artist? I have long considered that as a liabillity, not an asset. For instance...NO aptitute for math. NONE, WHATSOEVER.

There is EBay and art buyers on there and also you may find a local place that sales art work on consignment...meaning they get something like 20% of your sale. They won't take your work though unless they feel they can sale it. I did sale one painting on Ebay once ..but a horribly low price because I am also terrible at math and should have set it to accept only a certain price while hoping for more, of course...

I am a stay at home mom too but there is nothing wrong with working while the kids are in school at something part time...or just doing ebay. I have heard of people making good monthly wages selling used clothes. They go to places like Good will or other second hand stores and look for name brand...they take pictures of each item and put it on ebay. Its alot of work though keeping track of all of that and then mailing it. Some people are comfortable doing that but it would be too much for me. anyway just some ideas..

Tell your husband the bible says the wife is suppose to be the helper...and if it helps him by you working then why not? the Proverbs wife did literally everything...

Proverbs 31

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She finds wool and flax
and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
her lamp burns late into the night.

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
for everyone has warm clothes.

22 She makes her own bedspreads.
She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
and sashes to sell to the merchants.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.


No one wants to lose their homes...I understand that. your daughter is plenty old enough to take care of herself while you work too..

God bless

[My_King]

My sister is a stay at home mom and one way she's learned to survive is to pretend she lives in the 1950's... LOL

Meaning? She makes her bread homemade, she sews her daughter's dresses, she cooks all her meals at home and doesn't use any pre-packaged foods, she even makes homemade cookies and cinnamon rolls, etc.... She even found a way to make homemade laundry soap by using the left over pieces of the bar soap from the shower. I tease her all of the time and tell her she's such a miser!

But truthfully-it's helped save them loads of money. Now that the economy is not so swift, many people are asking her to show them how to do what she does.....I even started making homemade laundry soap myself!

[Inthestorm]

I'd like to know about the laundry soap!

I actually was doing the EBay thing...going to thrift stores and garage sales, buying and marking up. I enjoyed it and had an organized system. It worked pretty well...until the economy fell. Now I can't sell a thing. In fact, I'm gathering up some of the stuff I bought to donate. Nobody will buy unless the price is next to nothing.

[Oma]

My sister is a stay at home mom and one way she's learned to survive is to pretend she lives in the 1950's... LOL

Meaning? She makes her bread homemade, she sews her daughter's dresses, she cooks all her meals at home and doesn't use any pre-packaged foods, she even makes homemade cookies and cinnamon rolls, etc.... She even found a way to make homemade laundry soap by using the left over pieces of the bar soap from the shower. I tease her all of the time and tell her she's such a miser!

But truthfully-it's helped save them loads of money. Now that the economy is not so swift, many people are asking her to show them how to do what she does.....I even started making homemade laundry soap myself!

That's me; I consider that a normal life, and homeschool on top of it!
Lots of fulfillment and satisfaction in a job well done.

[flybaby]

My sister is a stay at home mom and one way she's learned to survive is to pretend she lives in the 1950's... LOL

Meaning? She makes her bread homemade, she sews her daughter's dresses, she cooks all her meals at home and doesn't use any pre-packaged foods, she even makes homemade cookies and cinnamon rolls, etc.... She even found a way to make homemade laundry soap by using the left over pieces of the bar soap from the shower. I tease her all of the time and tell her she's such a miser!

But truthfully-it's helped save them loads of money. Now that the economy is not so swift, many people are asking her to show them how to do what she does.....I even started making homemade laundry soap myself!

Yes, these are some of the ways that I make it profitable for me to stay home. Plus, if I were to put my three kids into daycare, it would eat up more money than I could make in our town. So, I do what I can at home to save money. We don't have cable television. Our internet we only have because it is paid for through our homeschool system that our local public school provides.

I make my own laundry soap (although not out of the soap from the bathroom, I use felsnaptha, Washing soda and Borax) which makes the soap only cost about 2 cents a load rather than the 64 cents a load that many of the laundry soaps cost.

I tried making homemade dishwasher detergent, but it left a filmy residue that my husband disliked so I stopped doing that.

At times, I take in an extra kid or two for daycare to help out a little bit. We don't go out to eat very often. Our vacations mostly consist of camping for the weekend...we rent rather than own, but you know, in these economic climate, I'm seeing this as a definite advantage.

Anyway, there are a lot of ways to cut costs and stay home. It just takes determination and a little extra work.

[JocelynAnn]

Well, honestly, I think you've bought into what our culture teaches: there's more value in material things than in relationships and family.

Very well said.
I am so very glad that I stayed home, and I am also thankful that the Lord has blessed our family with a good job and benefits for my husband. The value of relationships and family mean far more than anything else!

[Jesusdiedforme]

"That they may teach the young women to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, obedient to thier own husbands that the word of God be not blasphemed."

"I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully."

It is the duty of a man to be a provider and protecter and a woman to be a helpmeet and homemaker.