Blown Testimony-moved from Intro

[Sea Pony]

How you respond to your "backsliding" can be a better testimony than any you have had in the past.

Everyone must know that being Christians does not make any of us perfect. There has only ever been one perfect man in this world. I am convinced that how we respond to our sins is by far the best testimony we can give.

Prayers for you and your wife.

[Sherry W]

Greetings saints. I've been a follower of Christ since 1987, but I'm new to this site. Sorry my first entry is so blunt & personal, but I really need your prayers, if you would.

Yesterday I blew my testimony. I am sick at heart about it. My wife caught me smoking a cigarette and became very angry & disappointed. Yes, I did it deceitfully, behind her back. She quite understandably questioned what ELSE I was doing contrary to my "supposed" beliefs. Well, nothing actually- by the grace of God- but she won't believe that now. Accusations ensued, and my flesh got the better of me. Angry hurtful words were exchanged. The worst was when she said "So the bible doesn't work then, huh??" and that she wants nothing more to do with it. We'd already been having other familial problems of late (grown children & their spouses), and it seems most of those are likely a result of my disobedience (or maybe the other way around?) In any case, I got complacent and allowed a "little" sin to get a toe hold, and then wound up speaking rashly to my wife. Beloved, I fell right in to it and before I knew what hit me, my family life is now a wreck. What is so sad is that in the months prior I had been soaring with the Lord, really for the first time in my Christian life. I must also tell you, at one point last night a thought came to my mind that asked "So what do you think of your bible NOW??" Beloved, I guess I forgot this is no game we're playing. This is warfare, and our enemy is as real as our Father is. I humbly request for your prayer support at this difficult time. Also that I might regain my testimony. I feel ashamed that I've brought reproach on the name of the Lord Jesus and his excellent word.

Please know that I have confessed and repented but my concern now is the reprecussions. How can I persuade my lost loved ones that Jesus and his word are the Truth and answer to all of lifes questions, if they see me as nothing more than a hypocryte??

In closing, may God bless you all for your prayers and any encouragments you might offer.

Your brother in Christ, KAA09

At one point in my Christian walk, I smoked pot and drank heavily for a few years and my family knew it. I even did it in front of them, but I have been clean now for nearly a decade. I still smoke cigarettes. I still feel I blew my testimony BIG time and my credibility is down the toilet, I feel horrible about it because before that I never did and wanted to be the "perfect" Christian. So I can understand what you're going through. I believe we should leave witnessing to family members to others because they know us too well. Mark 6:4 below verifies this:

"But Jesus, said unto them, A prophet is not without honour, but in his own country, and among his own kin, and in his own house."

[daughter]

Interesting that you heard an accusation in the third person ("so what do you think of your bible now...") I'm sure you don't regularly think in the third person, so something slipped up to let that one through.

I know how horrendous a struggle it is sometimes, and that any one of us (every one of us) can slip and fall if we don't walk with Him. It happens to all of us, I'm afraid. I'd simply say, keep praying, repenting, following, believing... God will work out the details.