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Thread: Don't take it personally

  1. #1
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    Don't take it personally

    I've said this and heard it said to me. Don't take it personally.


    I'm starting to wonder what are the choices? If someone says don't take it personally, what are they really saying? How else are you supose to take someones words if not personally?

    The Antichrist will be taught and raised by the christian church. He will come from your own, not from the "outsiders". "Thus saith the Eternal, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house. . . ."

  2. #2
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    It can be very difficult to say something negative to someone, in a spirit of love.

    I think sometimes people use it as a way of sugar-coating something they need to say, to help make it clear that they have the person's long-term interests at heart.

    Other times I think people use it as a way of insulting someone to their face and feeling like it's justified.
    24 August 2013 - I've decided to take a break from a number of internet forums, including this one, for my own reasons.
    I expect to be back at some time in the future, although at present don't know when that will be.
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    1Jn 4:1 NKJV Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
    1Th 5:21-22 NKJV Test all things; hold fast what is good. (22) Abstain from every form of evil.




  3. #3
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    Unfortunately, this phrase has become so overused it has lost any meaning.

    Don't take it personally, your nose is huge. Don't take it personally, I hate your personality.

    In today's society, people use this to validate their wish to hurt feelings without guilt.
    If you take it personally, then you are over reactive and is is your fault.
    It is a cowards way to say what they want to say and , in my opinion, contrary to speaking in love.
    I agree with Tango. Unfortunately it depends on the intent of the speaker.
    My 12 year old, says it all the time and is routinely chastised for it.
    The lesson, if it hurts their feelings, but is necessary, then don't caveat it with a pointless disclaimer. If it is useflul instruction, then simply say, this may hurt your feelings, but I feel led to say this to you....
    If it is irrelevant or meaningless, keep it to yourself and pray about it.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scubadude View Post
    I've said this and heard it said to me. Don't take it personally.


    I'm starting to wonder what are the choices? If someone says don't take it personally, what are they really saying? How else are you supose to take someones words if not personally?
    Maybe one should rather say: "dont take offence".

    Of course, it is easier not to take offence when rebuked in love and humbilness.

    Anton
    השייך לאלוהים דרך ישו

  5. #5
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    If someone used that line on me, once they're done pointing out any faults, I'd say, "Since I'm not to take this personal, are we talking about you?"

    After 21+ years in the military, I want to be told when I'm messed up and this includes spiritually cause then I can stop marking time going nowhere and fix it, and get moving again... I know from experience that the Lord may lead a brother or a sister to me to point out a problem and if I don't heed it, the Holy Spirit will begin to drop bricks on my head till I get it.

    I guess I don't beat around the bush... if a brother or sister is falling and the reason is obvious but they are ignoring it or actually don't see it (blinded)... I have to be the Watchman that we're to be and I'll point it out as led. If this means saying... Dude, you're all messed up and you need to know why you're messed up...

    ~Limitations in a Christianís life are due to limited prayer and limiting obedience~

    ~Forgiveness has nothing to do with forgetting that moment... it's all about freedom FROM that moment.~


    ~Your needs activate God's compassion and faith activates God's power~

  6. #6
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    In a sense, we are not to take anything personally. The Holy Spirit, once we meet Him, begins to show us this.

    I agree with the other poster who said that when someone uses this phrase they usually mean to say: Don't get mad or get your feelings hurt or take offense. Their intent is sort of to say: I am getting ready to say something that I think may be upsetting to you and I don't really want any kind of emotional or personal dealing with you after I say it.

    One of the things the Holy Spirit does as He works in us is to show us how when we take offense or have hurt feelings it is usually because we feel dishonored by someone. But God was greatly dishonored by each of us and He still loved us and forgave and saved us. It is when we remember this great mercy that we tend to not take offense at what others say to us.

    A woman named Margaret Mitchell said something like: It wasn't until I lost my reputation that I realized what a great burden it was. (I probably mangled that quote.)

    I took what she said to mean that when we realize by the Holy Spirit that we have absolutely no reputation or good thing to commend us, it is very freeing. We no longer have to get hurt or demand respect from others because we see we are due nothing from anyone and that only God is due any honor. If we do come to have anything to commend us in any way, we realize it is only because it is Jesus being seen inside of us. We realize the things others see that could be of any good are never something we have done but that instead, He has done.
    "knowledge makes arrogant but love edifies"

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by tt1106 View Post
    Don't take it personally, your nose is huge. Don't take it personally, I hate your personality.

    In today's society, people use this to validate their wish to hurt feelings without guilt.
    If you take it personally, then you are over reactive and is is your fault.
    It is a cowards way to say what they want to say and , in my opinion, contrary to speaking in love.
    Yeah, the cousin to don't take it personally is "I was only joking." It gives the joker a chance to slice you, then leave you dangling with your hurt.

    I think there is a sadness when someone trys to say what they need to say, but hopefully not in a way they might have to answer for by getting more personally involved. If there is a struggle to engage in our life, we often need others to get mixed up in our lives to help us along. Carrying one another's burdens involves saying "I intend you to take this personally." because I'm intending to get as involved as you want me to. I think I'm kind of reiterating what paintdiva said.

    I agree with Tango also, that it is difficult to say hard words to someone you care about. Don't take it personally can just mean I don't want you to get defensive so we can talk about this. I depends on the intention.

    The Antichrist will be taught and raised by the christian church. He will come from your own, not from the "outsiders". "Thus saith the Eternal, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house. . . ."

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slug1 View Post
    If someone used that line on me, once they're done pointing out any faults, I'd say, "Since I'm not to take this personal, are we talking about you?"






    Quote Originally Posted by Slug1 View Post
    I guess I don't beat around the bush... if a brother or sister is falling and the reason is obvious but they are ignoring it or actually don't see it (blinded)... I have to be the Watchman that we're to be and I'll point it out as led. If this means saying... Dude, you're all messed up and you need to know why you're messed up...
    Better is open rebuke, than hidden love. Better the wounds of a friend, than kisses from an enemy.

    I would much more prefer to have someone talk straight to me than let things fester in silence. Sometimes (more times than I think, probably) I'm blind to something, what I say or how I say it. I tend to get on the defense when I am getting rebuked for failing to act a certain way, though. But in the end, it's all good. The Holy Spirit is speaking, and I am still responsible to do something with what someone has to say, how ever it's delivered. Serving the Lord for so many years, I've had more unsolicited feed back.......................................... The conversations where someone is intending to get personal, I find, are the one's that can end up being worshipful.

    When I hear "don't take it personally", usually I'm just weighting for the sniper fire.

    The Antichrist will be taught and raised by the christian church. He will come from your own, not from the "outsiders". "Thus saith the Eternal, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house. . . ."

  9. #9
    Elijah's Mantle Guest
    Unfortunately, this phrase has become so overused it has lost any meaning.

    Don't take it personally, your nose is huge. Don't take it personally, I hate your personality.

    In today's society, people use this to validate their wish to hurt feelings without guilt.
    If you take it personally, then you are over reactive and is is your fault.
    It is a cowards way to say what they want to say and , in my opinion, contrary to speaking in love.
    I agree with Tango. Unfortunately it depends on the intent of the speaker.
    My 12 year old, says it all the time and is routinely chastised for it.
    The lesson, if it hurts their feelings, but is necessary, then don't caveat it with a pointless disclaimer. If it is useflul instruction, then simply say, this may hurt your feelings, but I feel led to say this to you....
    If it is irrelevant or meaningless, keep it to yourself and pray about it.
    There is some mighty truth to that come to think more about it , Ive often heard the term used I always figured it was some type of nice way to pull a cop out ,and sure enough that is what it is

  10. #10
    Elijah's Mantle Guest
    Originally Posted by Slug1
    If someone used that line on me, once they're done pointing out any faults, I'd say, "Since I'm not to take this personal, are we talking about you?"
    OOH! slug1 can I borrow that sometime , if 'n u dont mind I like it

  11. #11
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    An effective way to tell someone a fault is to list at least three positives first, then tell them straight up without beating around the bush. This lets them know you're not out to cut them off at the knees and it gets it negative out there so it can be dealt with.
    Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
    Psalm 62:5

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by paintdiva View Post

    One of the things the Holy Spirit does as He works in us is to show us how when we take offense or have hurt feelings it is usually because we feel dishonored by someone. But God was greatly dishonored by each of us and He still loved us and forgave and saved us. It is when we remember this great mercy that we tend to not take offense at what others say to us.
    That's an interesting way to look at this. We feel dishonored because we forget the grace and mercy the Lord has given us. Maybe ungratefulness?


    Quote Originally Posted by paintdiva View Post
    A woman named Margaret Mitchell said something like: It wasn't until I lost my reputation that I realized what a great burden it was. (I probably mangled that quote.)
    Good quote. I could say it wasn't until I lost two houses that I realized what a great burden they were. Same idea? This helps make sense of King David's attempt at sabotaging his kingdom (you know, the whole adultery and murder thing). I'll bet at the time he longed to be free from the weight God has laid on him, being so popular. So, would you say David should not have taken offense at being rebuked? Taken it personally? Am I messing up what you meant?



    Quote Originally Posted by paintdiva View Post
    I took what she said to mean that when we realize by the Holy Spirit that we have absolutely no reputation or good thing to commend us, it is very freeing. We no longer have to get hurt or demand respect from others because we see we are due nothing from anyone and that only God is due any honor. If we do come to have anything to commend us in any way, we realize it is only because it is Jesus being seen inside of us. We realize the things others see that could be of any good are never something we have done but that instead, He has done.
    Good words. This sounds like the heart of grace. We have nothing to loose because our identity is found in him, not public opinion or fashion. And, we have nothing to prove or try to convince others of because the good in us is only because of Jesus.

    The Antichrist will be taught and raised by the christian church. He will come from your own, not from the "outsiders". "Thus saith the Eternal, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house. . . ."

  13. #13
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    It's often HOW we say things that is upsetting to others, not WHAT we say to them.

    I believe most people will accept hard facts, if said wrapped in love, truth, and grace.
    We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. ~Hebrews 6:12

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    "Certainly not." Mrs. Campson sniffed indignantly. "I would've made her take out those stitches and do them over, and if you match your points as poorly, I'll do the same to you."

    ~ Jennifer Chiaverini, Author, The Quilters Apprentice

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    Scubadude, Don't take it personally

    It can mean many things, personally I think it means "Take it like a man" and if it's a woman, "Take it like a man"

    Or it could be one's way of saying, "I'm gonna tell you something and you're probably not going to like it".

    Then there's a graceful way of rephrasing it. The way Christ would say it, because I believe it falls into a kindly rebuke category. In the lines of , Can I share something with you, brother to brother, or sister to sister etc....

  15. #15
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    My Thoughts

    Mat 5:44 ...Love your enemies bless them that curse you do good to them that hate you and pray for them who dispitefully use you. Rom 12:17-21 ...as much as lieth in you live peacably with all men.

    For the cause of Christ
    Roger

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