Little worried.

[Desperaux]

I love you Desperaux and thanks for all your thoughts.

About the only problem I have with it is it sometimes blames the devil for things I was doing. I shouldn't be rebuking Satan (in some ways) as much as I should be getting down on my knees and asking for the Lords forgiveness for simply being disobedient! I think a lot of the time we are deceived by the FLESH. That's why it is SO important to stay tuned into the word. Because we all have fleshly desires and if we stray from the word we WILL fall. And it will hurt!

I am surprised that you may have missed the point that Anderson says the same thing. We often must come to the point where we must forgive even ourselves. I know I had to.

I definitely agree with a LOT of what are in the steps, such as ways in which I was deceived or deceived myself!

Or also the pride vs. humility or the rebellion vs. submission. A LOT of those things are so true about me and God was convicting me of them even before I found the steps!

He showed me how being rebellious got me into some serious trouble!

Anyway I am walking with God again and nothing is going to stop me from serving Him and Him alone. I refuse to be deceived anymore!

Way to be!

I will look to His Word for my answers from now on, and I will 'lean not on my own understanding.'

I also realize the absolute importance of cutting off the things of the world which:
a) cause us to stumble (non-christian friends/situations)
b) cause us to be deceived (non-christian movies/tv/music)
c) cause us to doubt (non-christian educations/knowledge)

These are our responsibilities. I never knew how important it was until I was lost at sea. Thank God for being the lighthouse, Jesus the liferaft, and the Word my lifejacket.

You are on the right path, friend!

[JohnnieGuy]

One thing I dislike about Neil Anderson is that he does (to me) mix truth with error. We can't just rebuke satan away when it is our own LUST (or desires) that we need deliverance from. We can use the old saying, "The devil made me do it." But, the fact is, and you have learned this, our own LUST. our own desires, our own flesh, etc. it is these that leads us into temptation.

That's exactly my problem too. But in the steps I have there are a lot of steps that make you admit where you went wrong, so it's not all like that. There is definitely some good material in there.

I'm ashamed at how rebellious and disobedient I was. I developed a true anger at God. Some anger and bad feelings are still there but I know He will heal me of it as time goes on and as I trust in Him. I will not give up!

Again, friend, someday down the road of your life, I can see YOU counseling others! Because of what you are learning! The Lord is going to use you....

Wherever the Lord leads me! I refuse to live for myself anymore. And man, you know, the PULL of doing so is still there. It's weaker, but the temptation to trust in myself is still there. I hope it gets weaker and weaker as time goes on and God really changes me. I cannot trust myself anymore. I submit myself completely into His arms.

I hope also He will heal me of my rebelliousness and disobedience. Teach me to hate those things Lord. Remove them from me!

[tt1106]

He will Johnny. I remember the pain I felt, when I canceled my netflix.
I had decided to only watch movies that Christ would watch. It leads to some slim pickings, but I know God is glorified because of it.
Now, it doesn't bother me at all. God will complete the work he started. Give him time, be faithful and trust him.

[awestruckchild]

Ah, I also gave up all movies, shows and entertainment that didn't have a "christian theme" for a time. If it had cursing or violence or anything I thought might not please Him, I cut it out.

But after a while the strangest thing happened. I can even remember what the movie was and where I was. I was in Cancun on vacation and my first night, I was taking a break from reading and writing and I flipped the tv station to a movie just starting called "Crash."

Almost immediately there was violence, cursing, etc.
In my mind I thought: I should turn this off immediately. It is offensive to God! It is a sin for me to watch it!

But I didn't turn it off and I don't know why exactly, except that looking back later, I can say He was showing me something. I will try to explain what He showed me but it is pretty....vast, so I don't know if I will succeed.

Even when Hollywood makes a movie with the knowing intent to directly dishonor God or make a false statement about Him, or maybe the vicious intent is not there but nevertheless, there is no thought at all of honoring Him but is instead just a ploy to make some money, God can still be seen!

For instance, no matter how poorly Hollywood may portray it, any "action/adventure" movie will have an outline of "good vs. evil." It may be vague or faint but it is just a fact that the theme of some variation of good guy/bad guy is there. I even watched a vampire movie and it was so! In fact, it is impossible to write an action or suspense movie without "the theme."

And the good guy usually has great weaknesses of character but still triumphs. We always applaud his victory. We always forgive his weaknesses and flaws because after all, he is human and we can relate.But we are on the edge of our seats in anticipation of the victory and we never tire of the theme:GOOD GUY WINS!! It is the same story over and over again. How is it that we never tire of it??

Or think about a "love story." Once again, we're talking about Hollywood, so it may be poorly done or vague but you simply cannot write a love story without - "the sacrifice." Some sort of sacrifice because of love is "the theme".

There is nothing new under the sun and even if we think someone has come up with an original story or twist, it would never be a story without at least a vague outline of Gods story to us! God wrote our story, only He can create. We just borrow His outline and repeat it again and again with variations!

Doctors in movies (and in real life) wear white coats. They are clothed in white because they "save" us. No human just decided this, it is Gods' story/idea that good is clothed in white! I saw this and so much more in a horror-type movie starring Jessica Biehl called..."The Eyes? I think.

I saw God in a superhero story called "Hancock."

I could go on and on with dozens of movies but I won't. You just watch JohnnieGuy, there is no place where God isn't, even when Hollywood is trying to remove Him!! You will come to see Him everywhere you look and it will amaze you!

[JohnnieGuy]

Oh you are absolutely right. You can SEE God in secular things. And I mean you can because you have the Holy Spirit in you. Non-christians just see with their blinders on (let's help them!). This whole world and everything in it, is a battle between good and evil. Without a doubt. But you seem to be a very strong Christian who is very close to God. Personally, I did not see the ways in which those things can deceive and I was deceived. It's very subtle and it took a long time. But as a baby Christian I did not cut these things out and it caused me to stumble. The evil one is out there and looking for anyone he can to devour, even God's elect.

Just look at the Matrix movies. I mean that is SO close to the Bible story I have a hard time believing that those guys are not Bible believing born again Christians. Cause it's RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

The world, ensnared by an evil force that no one can see but whose power everyone is under. We live our lives and do what we want but we are really slaves. And there is a prophecy of the ONE, who will break free of the bondage of the 'system,' die and be brought back to life, resurrected and triumphed over the ways of the system, and whoever believes in him will be freed of their bondage as well.

Amazing isn't it? I mean, it IS the Bible story, adapted to modern times.

The thing is, I know personally for me I definitely see the world that way. But to a non-christian they might just consider it total fantasy, and it might even draw them furthur AWAY from the truth.

I can't say. All I know is that it IS the truth. Thank Jesus for saving me from it. He is my ONE and ONLY.

[awestruckchild]

I start bawling everytime I hear you making a joyful noise unto the Lord Johnnie.

I keep shaking my head in wonder that yesterday you weren't surrendered and today you are!

Your SELF gasped it's last breath in here yesterday. It's like, I got to see your death but it was the most beautiful thing because it caused you to know the freedom you really, really have in Christ!

It amazes me that we read and read the gospels and we miss the one thing necessary and have to flounder around to discover it and see that, yes, it really is that easy-TRUST HIM-it is all summed up in that!

Here is me making a joyful noise with JohnnieGuy!

[awestruckchild]

Oh you are absolutely right. You can SEE God in secular things. And I mean you can because you have the Holy Spirit in you. Non-christians just see with their blinders on (let's help them!). This whole world and everything in it, is a battle between good and evil. Without a doubt. But you seem to be a very strong Christian who is very close to God. Personally, I did not see the ways in which those things can deceive and I was deceived. It's very subtle and it took a long time. But as a baby Christian I did not cut these things out and it caused me to stumble. The evil one is out there and looking for anyone he can to devour, even God's elect.

Just look at the Matrix movies. I mean that is SO close to the Bible story I have a hard time believing that those guys are not Bible believing born again Christians. Cause it's RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

The world, ensnared by an evil force that no one can see but whose power everyone is under. We live our lives and do what we want but we are really slaves. And there is a prophecy of the ONE, who will break free of the bondage of the 'system,' die and be brought back to life, resurrected and triumphed over the ways of the system, and whoever believes in him will be freed of their bondage as well.

Amazing isn't it? I mean, it IS the Bible story, adapted to modern times.

The thing is, I know personally for me I definitely see the world that way. But to a non-christian they might just consider it total fantasy, and it might even draw them furthur AWAY from the truth.

I can't say. All I know is that it IS the truth. Thank Jesus for saving me from it. He is my ONE and ONLY.

And if you were deceived, maybe you should be vigilant with these kinds of movies. I happen to think you are pretty much past that but the Holy Spirit is who you gotta follow and He will lead you.

It's even the same with spiritual movies ,helps, aids or books. If you find it a help to understanding God better and if it is doing you some good and if the Holy Spirit speaks that it is true and good, by all means, use it. But if it isn't profiting you personally, chuck it.

[JohnnieGuy]

Hmm. I don't know if I 100% absolutely trust Him no matter what because I still have my 'programs' that urge me to lean on my own understanding. But I know I want to serve the Lord and not myself. But my self still does things, like smoke and drink coffee and eat chocolate. It's really hard to reconcile the two. I want to be filled up with the Lord all of the time. I want to be led by the Spirit ALL of the time.

But I know that His way is the only way. And I won't be living life for myself anymore. That's for sure.

The pull to do so is still there, guess that never goes away? The closer you get to and walk with the Lord the less you want to?

Don't get me wrong I don't want to sin and I hate it. But sometimes my body wants to. That's what temptation is, I guess. And that's what they mean when they say that Jesus is the light. He shows you WHY sin is wicked. How much it promises to please you but how much pain it actually causes. But some selfish desires are still there. I guess that's what they call it 'the flesh.'

I hope He comes back soon, and when He does that He takes me.

[awestruckchild]

But my self still does things, like smoke and drink coffee and eat chocolate.

But Johnnie, don't you remember what Jesus said about food and drink? How it isn't what we put into our body that defiles us but that it is what proceeds out of us from our heart that defiles us?

[JohnnieGuy]

Yes. I guess I FEEL selfish by enjoying things like that. I guess I can enjoy food and drink to His glory! And as long as those things do not cause me and the Lord's relationship harm or to cause me to love my brother or sister less then we are ok.

But as far as ambition goes NOPE. I will not be living for myself anymore. HE WILL PROVIDE. And HEEEE will give me the desires of my heart, because He said He would!

Praise God!

[awestruckchild]

I've been reading Luke today and I saw something pretty amazing. After Jesus was born, his parents took Him to the temple because
after the birth, by the Law, a purification offering was required.

And it struck me that this corrolates to us. After the birth (our new birth), a purification offering is required. It is kind of like He eventually brings us to giving a "purification offering" by offering ourselves. He purifies us or I guess some say sanctifies us. We offer ourselves to Him and His will.

They used to go to temple to give the offering butnow we do it inwardly, at that point where we totally surrender to Him and give ourselves to Him and then He works to purify us. It isn't based on what we do anymore - He does it all, but it is offering our life to Him after He has saved ours...interesting...not one jot or tittle of the law will pass away, it is still Gods' law, but it is for the inside now and He fulfills it in us by the Holy Spirits work! He even said, I have not come to do away with the law but to fulfill the law!

[JohnnieGuy]

One thing the Lord showed me today.

Amazing really.

I have struggled with fear my ENTIRE life. You could call it Obsessive Compulsive disorder, or intrusive thinking or whatever.

I get violent thoughts or sexual thoughts or just weird negative thoughts. Maybe some family bondage there because my mom and other members suffer from similar things.

But for YEARS, I was afraid I was possessed or of being so. I knew I was a Christian, and I knew that the Holy Spirit was in me, but that fear kept me out of church and sometimes it even kept me from praying or reading the Bible. I heard crazy stories and saw stupid movies and the devil SEEMS powerful, more powerful than God, to the world. How wicked the enemy and flesh are!

Today I was afraid to go to church. But I told my thoughts and I told the enemy: I DONT CARE HOW SCARED I AM, JESUS IS MY LORD AND I AM GOING TO WORSHIP HIM SCARED OR NOT.

I was still a little scared but said I have the power through God to ignore these lies and that's just what i am going to do. We do, we have the power to ignore lies.

So I felt a little better.

But in church the most amazing thing happened. The music leader asked that we all just take a minute to REST in the Lord. He said anyone who was afraid or needed to be freed from fear to just allow Him to come to us so that we can rest in Him.

Amazing, the same EXACT thing we've been talking about on this board for three days!!!!

It brought tears to my eyes, I was on the verge of weeping. So I did, I just rested in Him, and I cast all my fears and doubts and lies and worries onto Him and I rested on Him.

I felt free.

Then the sermon was about Gideon and how God takes the most frightened scared wimps and turns them into powerhouses! And I think that is what He is going to do with me.

I ran from God for years. I could hear His voice but would not submit. I wrestled with His plan for my life. I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to find a wife on my own, make money on my own (not a lot I told myself, just enough), but He wouldn't let me. Did I sumbit? NO! I ran some more.

And now He has brought me to a place where I can't do anything BUT submit. And I'm so glad I don't have to run anymore. Because I am tired. I don't even have to walk. He's going to carry me the whole way.

[awestruckchild]

Wow, Johnnie!

See, He really does build one thing on another on another like we were saying yesterday. He even geared todays sermon for you. Isn't it amazing ? How does He do it?!

You know, one more thing I was reading today was the story about the possessed man and the pigs and how the demons begged Jesus to let them enter the pigs and my translation says He allowed them to.

They can't do anything He doesn't allow them to or give them permission to do.

Satan even has to ask permission to sift us like wheat, as Jesus said! And if God allows it, it will be for our growth. So even satan, seeking to harm us, accomplishes Gods' will! You'd think he would figure it out, duh!!!!

[JohnnieGuy]

Ya a thought that crossed my mind that was pretty awesome was how Christ used Satan's evil to defeat himself!

He knew Jesus was the Son of God, so what did he do? He killed him. He was afraid that he would take over. But God knew he was going to do that. When Jesus rose from the dead the devil must have known his defeat was complete.

I just think it's so awesome and so indicative of God's character. He moves slowly but perfectly, and uses all things to accomplish His will. He hates sin and hates evil but He is SO GOOD that He will even use what He hates for His perfect will. HE IS IMMOVABLE! Praise God.

Satan hates God so much, he must know he is defeated but maybe he is trying to take as many down with him as he can.

It's up to us and God to fight that.

[fuzzi]

But Johnnie, don't you remember what Jesus said about food and drink? How it isn't what we put into our body that defiles us but that it is what proceeds out of us from our heart that defiles us?

Amen! You're exactly right!

And whatever we do, we should do it for God's glory:

"Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God." (1 Corinthians 10:31)

... But in church the most amazing thing happened. The music leader asked that we all just take a minute to REST in the Lord. He said anyone who was afraid or needed to be freed from fear to just allow Him to come to us so that we can rest in Him.

Amazing, the same EXACT thing we've been talking about on this board for three days!!!!

It brought tears to my eyes, I was on the verge of weeping. So I did, I just rested in Him, and I cast all my fears and doubts and lies and worries onto Him and I rested on Him.

I felt free.

Then the sermon was about Gideon and how God takes the most frightened scared wimps and turns them into powerhouses! And I think that is what He is going to do with me.

I ran from God for years. I could hear His voice but would not submit. I wrestled with His plan for my life. I wanted to do it on my own. I wanted to find a wife on my own, make money on my own (not a lot I told myself, just enough), but He wouldn't let me. Did I sumbit? NO! I ran some more.

And now He has brought me to a place where I can't do anything BUT submit. And I'm so glad I don't have to run anymore. Because I am tired. I don't even have to walk. He's going to carry me the whole way.

Isn't God great, how He works things out for our good?

He puts people in our lives that help us to get saved.

Then He makes sure someone helps us to grow in love and knowledge of Him.

Of course, in order to be blessed as you have been, you have to be open to God's message to you, to His will in your life. You did that by opening your heart, and letting Him work on you.

God bless you, I am so happy for you.