advice

[Stranzua]

Hello everyone, i'm in a bit of a predicament here. It's a long story so i'm going to try and simplify it as much as possible. So, to start off, i must say that i have been a dreamer my whole life and i always believed that true love was possible eventhough i had experienced and witnessed alot that supported the contrary. Along the way i was introduced to Jesus and i found it, the pinnacle example of true love. Through my efforts of trying to imitate Jesus i struggled with the doubt and unbelief of God's unconditional love because instead of hearing a loving God i heard my judgemental father. So in my unbelief i became scared, confused, and paralyzed and seeing me in my weakness someone i care about who is a non-believer told me that she thought that people who believed in god were just people who wanted to run away from their problems. Now when i was younger i always would pray and ask god to help me never let the love of my life pass by. So when i met and worked with this girl working at yale she was moving away to go to college and when i was walking with her to say goodbye i heard a voice say don't let the love of your life pass by. I thought that possibly it could of just been me in my head but it was also so distinct and unexpected. So what happened was that she ended up coming back to yale which is when she saw me at my weakest struggling to believe which is when she said that to me. So its been 2 years since and i have grown and God has most certainly helped me. So about a week ago i had a dream about this girl out of the blue. I sent her a facebook friend request and she accepted which is when i found she was going into surgery the next day, that can't be a coincidence right. So i sent her this thing that ive been writing which shares why i believe what i believe. Should i share everything i have to say or wait for her to reply.

[HisLeast]

Hello everyone, i'm in a bit of a predicament here. It's a long story so i'm going to try and simplify it as much as possible. So, to start off, i must say that i have been a dreamer my whole life and i always believed that true love was possible eventhough i had experienced and witnessed alot that supported the contrary. Along the way i was introduced to Jesus and i found it, the pinnacle example of true love. Through my efforts of trying to imitate Jesus i struggled with the doubt and unbelief of God's unconditional love because instead of hearing a loving God i heard my judgemental father. So in my unbelief i became scared, confused, and paralyzed and seeing me in my weakness someone i care about who is a non-believer told me that she thought that people who believed in god were just people who wanted to run away from their problems. Now when i was younger i always would pray and ask god to help me never let the love of my life pass by. So when i met and worked with this girl working at yale she was moving away to go to college and when i was walking with her to say goodbye i heard a voice say don't let the love of your life pass by. I thought that possibly it could of just been me in my head but it was also so distinct and unexpected. So what happened was that she ended up coming back to yale which is when she saw me at my weakest struggling to believe which is when she said that to me. So its been 2 years since and i have grown and God has most certainly helped me. So about a week ago i had a dream about this girl out of the blue. I sent her a facebook friend request and she accepted which is when i found she was going into surgery the next day, that can't be a coincidence right. So i sent her this thing that ive been writing which shares why i believe what i believe. Should i share everything i have to say or wait for her to reply.

I would advise you to be nice, be gentlemanly, but don't inundate her with your personal stuff this early.

How well do you really know her?

[DDG]

We have only left this planet once to go to the moon. A very small system of planets orbiting around a sun that is in a HUGE galaxy with BILLIONS of starts that is one of BILLIONS of galaxies, yet people tell me there can be no God? How can there not be! He is evident in nature. You probably won't listen, but I would not attach myself to this person. I know you love her, but if she's not at least willing to educate herself on scripture before she makes a choice, she would be a bad choice for you. I would rather be single for life than to be attached to a person that doesn't believe in God. If she is willing to study and then make a decision, I would give her the chance to study and if she chooses God, you are good to go. It's too important to play around with.

[Lefty]

Doesn't sound good to me. Guard your heart, stand firm, and if you do renew this thing, do it from the position of a Christian who depends solely on God to be a complete man, not on a woman, especially an unbelieving woman to be complete. I have to ask; how can a woman truly love a man if she doesn't love the God who made that man? You brought up the phrase "true love", so beware of it's obvious counterpart, which would reveal itself it time.

[Stranzua]

Well she's extremely liberal, she's an anthropologist who has tons of health problems, she went into surgery for her hip for the third time, when she was 13 she had to relearn how to walk again. So with all of her health problems i would understand that she might blame God. Claiming to be a Christian as she saw me weak and completely miserable im sure that didn't help. I know that Jesus stands between us so i love her as the free person that she is and if that means i never see her again i atleast want to tell her how God touched the weak needy young man she knew and helped me become the man i am today. After having that dream i feel God does want to use me, when i was working with her i tried to tell her why i believe in God but i was struggling to believe. She liked me and i liked her but i let her walk out of my life because i didn't believe in myself. I'm sure that had to hurt. I want to show her that i do care and that i struggled so i can find what i found in Jesus.

[Lefty]

Go for it, and I'll keep you in my prayers. Maybe God does want to use you to reach her.

I'm guessing I'm older than you, but single too. Nine years ago I got into a relationship with a woman who I knew was an unbeliever, something I would'nt have done except like you, I was at a weak point in my life. In my case I had a lot of discouragement come down on me and my faith was pretty bruised and I was plagued with doubts. This was when she stepped into my life. I dated her, she was nice, sweet and like yours, had some physical things to contend with that elicited some compassion out of me. I came to care for her a lot, and there was a bond made, even though we couldn't connect about God. I struggled with this though, I was always torn between my heart telling me yes, and my head telling me no. No won out and I broke it off but not without a lot of anguish. We traded some calls and emails that petered out about five years ago, the last I heard from her.

My faith in God has grown very much since then, and I'm glad I broke it off for the simple reason that she wasn't a Christian. I still feel my heart tugging for her from time to time though. Part of it's coming from occasional loneliness where I want the romance and togetherness back, but mostly it's out of a compassion and sympathy for her to find meaning, strength and purpose in life, which she has none of and I think she's pretty sad. That eats at me so from time to time I remember to pray for her, though it feels odd since I never expected to see her again.

Now, just 12 hours ago she sent me an email, just to check up. This is the first contact since 2004, so it's a coincidence to read your story today. I'm not willing to start the romance up again in the state things are at now, but looking for an opening to reach her for Christ somehow.

If you would, please pray for this to happen. Her name is Tina.

[Stranzua]

hey lefty, i don't think it was a coincidence

[CoffeeCat]

I don't believe in coincidence. Instead, I do believe that God has a hand in much of what happens, and allows everything to happen.... and when someone from our past comes back into our lives we used to know when we were not walking as closely with the Lord as we maybe are now, it's always a chance to just share what God's been doing in our lives.... and that gives Him the glory.

Stranzua, it would be a mistake to try and pursue a relationship with someone who doesn't know Christ, right now. I think you maybe know that, because there are a LOT of hills and bumps and as Lefty has said, your faith can take a beating. Sometimes you DO emerge stronger and more sure of your faith than before.... but we aren't promised that, and starting a relationship with such a fundamental difference makes its way onto very shaky ground. I know from experience.

What you CAN do.... is pray for her! Talk to her and tell her about how much Christ has changed your life since you talked last! And if she's still recovering from surgery.... sending a card, getting in touch etc with her to say "I hope you're feeling better" is always nice, too. Just share who you are in Christ with her.... and let Christ do the driving on this one.

God bless, brother.

[Stranzua]

Wow, thanks! I appreciate the wholesome advice. Lefty, i will pray for you and Tina, i hope you find what your looking for. Please play for Beth and I, i truly believe that this is not a coincidence but God speaking to us through each other, thanks again.

[Jabba]

Do not try to love God...okay, wait, let me refrase. Do not think that God does not know that you are trying to love Him. But the problem is that our love towards Him as fallable. Perhaps you should change your perspective...
We should seek to love Him, yes, but know this: His love towards you is infallable(I hope I get the spelling right, English is not my mother toungue)
We should know, besides our struggles, loss, fear or whatever, His love is unconditional, unwavering and, may I say it, undeserving. But that was why we were put on earth in the first pace...so that He could love us. This shoud be our first perspective...the rest will flow from His love towards us. Seek Him, and all else will be added to us.
John 3:16 - 17.
Be blessed...and have faith!

[tt1106]

hey lefty, i don't think it was a coincidence

Coincidence is when God wants to remain anonymous.
-Albert Einstein

[Stranzua]

I posted my testimony in the testimonies section and its called 'what do you think?' This is what i sent Beth when i found out she was going into surgery

[Stranzua]

Ok, so this girl still hasn't written me back at all. She accepted my facebook friends request but hasn't said a single word to me. When she saw me at my weakest i was pretty flighty, so i would understand that she wouldn't want to open up and leave herself vulnerable to get hurt again. But some people also struggle when it comes to having balance with giving and receiving, i want to give my best effort but i am a little frustrated that she hasn't said ANYTHING to me. Silence says something but it can also be anywhere from leave me alone to being reluctant to share what she has to say. Would it be trust in God for me to stop trying and hope she writes back eventually or simply lack of effort?

[Lefty]

Keep praying, asking for wisdom on this and peace for whatever happens. If there's any wrong you might have done that she might be holding against you, follow up with something appropriate if you think you need to. You say your letter was met with silence and I'm sure that stings a little, but don't forget you're sharing in Christ's suffering in this regard because we sure know how often his message is met with silence...and worse.

[WonderWoman4Jesus]

This might sound a bit harsh, so please don't take offense. Right now, you really can't consider getting into anything other than friendship with this woman. God really has a very good reason for not wanting us to be unequally yoked. Let me share a story with you. I was in a relationship with a non-believer on and off for ten years. I started liking him in seventh grade until I was in my twenties. Yes, I had become a believer when I was very young, about eight or so, but I walked away from God a long time.

After my grandfather died, I renewed my quest for Christ, for a time, until I wanted to be with my ex-boyfriend. It was an unhealthy relationship. I loved him very, very deeply and thought I'd be married to him. I started doing very secular things because that's how he was, and I wanted to please him. Long story short, I regret it, and wish I'd listened to those telling me he wasn't right for me. I loved him very deeply, and it's taken me a good part of three years to get over him. I won't go into a lot of details, but it was a deep scar and heartache.

It sounds like she could definatly use a friend as she's going through. God might have led you to her for a reason, but not necessarily a relationship. He might be asking you to reach out to her and maybe eventually minister. Just please don't persue a relationship with a non-believer.

God bless