Whatever you do you don't want to seek validation as a man from women. I suggest reading Wild at Heart if you haven't already. The author (John Eldredge) speaks about how every man/boy wants to know that he has what it takes. To know that he is strong. He says that we are meant to recieve validation from God first and foremost (although our own earthly fathers were meant to have an important role) so that we can then offer our strength to others, especially the woman in our life.
It sounds as if you have taken this "Do I have what it takes" question to women and as a result you give this girl the power to strip you of your masculinity by giving you a bad verdict (which is what it sounds like with all the spiritual attack you are having with the depression and lust).
You need to seek God first, then you can offer your strength to this woman. But you cannot let her give the verdict on your life.
Private Message me if you want to speak more about this
He's charging into hell and bringing heaven with him!- Rob Bell
"So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir" - Paul - Galations 4:7