Went back to Church, I really need help with things

[peacewithin]

I loved being back in Church with my girls again. They both go to the same Church but it is an hours drive for me so I will find another Church close to home to attend. I tried so hard not to cry but God had other plans for me. I did good till both my daughters and my son n law went to the front. I felt the Holy Spirit so strong in that Church. Let me ask you all something. Why have I got such a hang up about things? When people are raising their hands and praising God, why can't I do it too when I really want to? And why am I so afraid of crying? What's the matter with me? When I'm alone I have no problem what so ever crying out to God and praying out loud to him, but do you know that my children have never heard me pray? I am so ashamed to say that. I talk about God to them and they know I pray all the time but I have never prayed out loud in front of anyone.
When I was with their father, he was very mentally abusive and always made me feel stupid or foolish and just made fun of me for so many things. They have also never heard me sing. (I never sing in Church either) He would laugh when he caught me singing to myself. Could that be why I'm the way I am? I'm going to really start asking God to release me from these hang ups I have. I feel like I can talk to you folks on here and I know you never judge me but give me good advice and for that I thank you.
Beverly

[Vhayes]

Hi Beverly -

Please forgive me if this comes out in a rush -
you are crying because God is holding you in His arms and comforting you from all the hurt. You are beginning to heal. It will take time but you WILL heal because He loves you and He knows that you love Him.

Sing when you want to. Pray when and how you feel led to pray. Lift your hands or not - just know that you are being held close in His arms and you are ALLOWED to cry. He'll wipe away your tears. He has the biggest box of tissues you ever did see!!

(((((Hugs)))))
V

[th1bill]

Bev,
... In my life time I've met a large umber of mentally abuse ladies and some of them never find Christ and never heal. The ones that extract themselves, by what-ever method and turn to the LORD always seem to do very well in the healing department but healing takes time. Just as Vhayes has suggested, hang in there and go to church, a church to is like the one I go to. It's sometimes difficult to find an assembly where you feel like your at home with family but they are there and family and God are what you need. If you don't find the right church in the first months, don't give up, pray for God's guidance.

[Sold Out]

Don't you dare feel bad! You have set a wonderful example for your children. And besides, your relationship with God in private is way more important than you raising your hands or crying in church.

We are looking for a new church too (closer to home). I feel for you!

[Desperaux]

I loved being back in Church with my girls again. They both go to the same Church but it is an hours drive for me so I will find another Church close to home to attend. I tried so hard not to cry but God had other plans for me. I did good till both my daughters and my son n law went to the front. I felt the Holy Spirit so strong in that Church. Let me ask you all something. Why have I got such a hang up about things? When people are raising their hands and praising God, why can't I do it too when I really want to? And why am I so afraid of crying? What's the matter with me? When I'm alone I have no problem what so ever crying out to God and praying out loud to him, but do you know that my children have never heard me pray? I am so ashamed to say that. I talk about God to them and they know I pray all the time but I have never prayed out loud in front of anyone.
When I was with their father, he was very mentally abusive and always made me feel stupid or foolish and just made fun of me for so many things. They have also never heard me sing. (I never sing in Church either) He would laugh when he caught me singing to myself. Could that be why I'm the way I am? I'm going to really start asking God to release me from these hang ups I have. I feel like I can talk to you folks on here and I know you never judge me but give me good advice and for that I thank you.
Beverly

Bless you!

You have what many people have: the fear of man. Jesus came to relieve you of that fear. Simply step out of that fear and by breaking it off, you will suddenly begin to walk in new freedom!

I am not saying it is not going to be initially uncomfortable, but it is so worth it.

I remember as a teenager, suffering the fear of praying in a group. I thought I would come off as dumb and embarrass myself by saying something nonsensical. I pushed through the fear and did it, red-faced and stammering!. Now, I have no problem being the first to pray when the opportunity comes.

Remember that when we congregate with other believers in church, we are there to worship Jesus Christ. When we sing, we sing to Him, and not only that, the Bible says that angels join us! When we pray, we are talking to Him. When we raise our hands or dance, we are praising Him alone, and not only that--but God dances also! No one is watching us but GOD--and He is blessed!



Just something to think about: If you have discovered a church that is Spirit-filled and Spirit-led, and it is an hour's drive away--please consider not moving to one that is more convenient to attend. If it is where God wants you, it is worth the effort to be there. We have many people as members in our church who commute a distance. I know a woman who travels an hour on the highway with her family every Sunday because the church is where God has planted them. they get up early, pack a lunch and go, making a day of it. Often the people who they have developed relationships with will invite them home for lunch. it has been a great thing for them and their children and their own family relationships.Our pastor teaches us that if God plants us, we shouldn't ever leave unless he uproots us Himself. If we receive a job offer that offers a transfer, we need to refuse it unless the Lord is moving us. Where we worship is really more important than where we work, and I would venture to add--where we live, also.