I loved being back in Church with my girls again. They both go to the same Church but it is an hours drive for me so I will find another Church close to home to attend. I tried so hard not to cry but God had other plans for me. I did good till both my daughters and my son n law went to the front. I felt the Holy Spirit so strong in that Church. Let me ask you all something. Why have I got such a hang up about things? When people are raising their hands and praising God, why can't I do it too when I really want to? And why am I so afraid of crying? What's the matter with me? When I'm alone I have no problem what so ever crying out to God and praying out loud to him, but do you know that my children have never heard me pray? I am so ashamed to say that. I talk about God to them and they know I pray all the time but I have never prayed out loud in front of anyone.
When I was with their father, he was very mentally abusive and always made me feel stupid or foolish and just made fun of me for so many things. They have also never heard me sing. (I never sing in Church either) He would laugh when he caught me singing to myself. Could that be why I'm the way I am? I'm going to really start asking God to release me from these hang ups I have. I feel like I can talk to you folks on here and I know you never judge me but give me good advice and for that I thank you.