need a general perspective on women

[motormouf]

I put a similar thread in the Solomon's Porch area but i think it is better to get a general both sexes perspective. Am i justified to be angry at the excuse that women are emotional, hence they are entitled to do any ridiculous, spiteful selfish thing as long as their "emotions" are involved. Reason i'm saying this is that i've had to work and do projects and time and time again, they've been messed up or delayed by some woman for some emotional reason. Example-

1. Doing a play, as a director i gave a girl a role in the early planning stages, but then it becomes apparent that someone else would do that part better 9inbitially i wasnt sure if said person would be available so i gave the lady the part) so I changed around their parts, (note no practice had been done, scripts werent even handed out yet) The girl in question gets upset and calls me ranting and raving about she doesnt want that part, even thought she doesnt know what it involves, I try to be diplomatic but still get shouted and screamed at. Eventually I say we can discuss this at length when i get to practice (since i was walking to get a bus to practice where i'd see her). I get a phone hung up on me.. Then she drops out and i have to scramble to find someone to replace her.

1. At another, production, a similar drop out happens when the girl stops coming without discussing anything with me, because she feels that shes not doing enough in her role much. Even though i make it prefectly clear that if you have any problems come to me.

1. Sometime later, after other incidents with said girl who tends to drop out whenever she doesnt like what's going on, i decide that i dont want to work with her anymore since she always causes trouble by dropping out when she cant get her way, i get talked to by older women who intercede for her- The case i was given was this- I basically caused the trouble, because if a woman prepares her mind for something and it gets changed, its different than for a man, a man can just adapt to change but a woman will be messed up mentally and it would cause problems.

So basically any neccessary changes that i have to make should be forgotten and the production must suffer because it might disrupt the flow of what a girl wants and she probably wont be able to adapt her feeling to it. Later i heard someone comment on it in a way that seems to me that i'm painted as a bad guy for changing stuff all the time.

I've had different problems with other girls doing parts- One stopped coming because she dont like doing X or Y in practice,as in stop coming completely, no word, no returning calls, just disappear for 5 weeks, by then i had to find a replacement, only to complain to others that i replaced them and didn't give them a chance to quit(Hello you werent here!!!) One flat out refused to do something which would have made the programme better because they didn't want to do it,no mattter how many times they were nicley asked (the just stubbornly did what she wanted.

When i discussed this frustration with another director after all these incidents- he basically said the woman is emotional so stuff like that will happen.

Am i wrong to think this is utterly stupid and ridiculous belief, which just excuses selfish behaviour and villanises people who have a job to do???

[Friend of Jesus]

You would be correct as far as my knowledge permits. Being a woman has nothing to do with being emotional (men just tend to show their's less- it doesn't mean we don't have them. However you would be wise to show compassion and understanding in all circumstances rather than getting angry or frustrated at people who get on your nerves.

[CoffeeCat]

As a woman, I can tell you that women OR men excusing women for doing something rude, inappropriate etc just BECAUSE they "are emotional" is not a good excuse at all. We ladies need to know ourselves and our bodies, and how much we can take on at any given time if we're under stress or PMS'ing or whatever.... and we need to learn how to say "thanks, but no thanks" gracefully. Nobody gets out of living up to their responsibilities just because they're overly emotional..... and nobody, male or female, should expect them to do that, OR insult them by suggesting they WILL do that. (and I am speaking generally here about my own past experiences.)

Yeah, there'll be some days when the world is VERY 'hard to handle' emotionally. I really, truly get that. But that doesn't preclude us ladies from picking up the phone and handling it responsibly... and it doesn't exempt the men-folks from being as kind and understanding as they CAN be, especially when we do our best.

Just my 0.02.

[Radagast]

...]Doing a play, as a director i gave a girl a role in the early planning stages, but then it becomes apparent that someone else would do that part better 9inbitially i wasnt sure if said person would be available so i gave the lady the part) so I changed around their parts, (note no practice had been done, scripts werent even handed out yet) The girl in question gets upset and calls me ranting and raving about she doesnt want that part, even thought she doesnt know what it involves, I try to be diplomatic but still get shouted and screamed at...

I think any actor would get upset at that, and with some justification. It might not have been the best decision...

[motormouf]

I think any actor would get upset at that, and with some justification. It might not have been the best decision...

so i was supposed to let her keep it, not give a much more suitable and reliable actress the part and let the entire production suffer as a result?

[Athanasius]

so i was supposed to let her keep it, not give a much more suitable and reliable actress the part and let the entire production suffer as a result?

Well no, but you implied she was a bad actor.

[Radagast]

so i was supposed to let her keep it, not give a much more suitable and reliable actress the part and let the entire production suffer as a result?

Well, you could have left the assignment open while you explored other options. But once the part has been given, taking it away again is treating the actress with public contempt.

And apart from the issue of right and wrong, once you start doing that the entire production will suffer anyway.

[Friend of Jesus]

Let's not derail the thread guys, the topic is about women not theatrical niceties.

[motormouf]

Well no, but you implied she was a bad actor.

OOps sorry i didnt explain it properly. Both were competent actresses, but the one who had the part first was alot less mature and "controllable" (for a want of another word). She also had to be another characters wife, but they had issues with each other. The other actress was much more ,mature and FAR easier to work with but it wasnt a given that she would have been in the play, since she may have had something else to do. So for the time being and to get production rolling, i gave the other one the role.When she let me know that she was available, then i relised it'd be better and safer for her to have it. The other character got a part as well, but she was "I dont want it!!!!!" Never read a script of what either part involved all she could say is i dont want it. I tried to compromise and discuss but NO she drops out.

Another point i realise ( I dont want to bash women) but i realise whenever its man vs woman on an issue, other women automatically take the womans side ignoring whatever she did. Heck a woman could murder her husband for coming home too late and other women would say she was right he shouldve been home early. When this happened I started to get heat from other females who apparently completely ignored her actions.

[CoffeeCat]

Another point i realise ( I dont want to bash women) but i realise whenever its man vs woman on an issue, other women automatically take the womans side ignoring whatever she did. Heck a woman could murder her husband for coming home too late and other women would say she was right he shouldve been home early. When this happened I started to get heat from other females who apparently completely ignored her actions.

Don't take offense to this, because none is intended -- but methinks your experience of women thus far has perhaps been somewhat limited, because you just issued an untrue blanket statement on an entire gender.

Here's a good focus for this thread: how does the Bible ask men to treat women, and women to treat men? Especially when it comes down to them being young men and women?

Also, how does God want us to treat those who get under our skin?

Let's focus on that, here, and see what we can come up with. This thread could maybe stand a bit of a re-focus.

[Athanasius]

Let's not derail the thread guys, the topic is about women not theatrical niceties.

Sure enough, that's what we're discussing (women). Why does motormouf have these experiences with women. Is he just encountering nasty spoiled women or is there something he's doing - and may not realize it - that's making these sorts of situations worse?

OOps sorry i didnt explain it properly. Both were competent actresses, but the one who had the part first was alot less mature and "controllable" (for a want of another word). She also had to be another characters wife, but they had issues with each other. The other actress was much more ,mature and FAR easier to work with but it wasnt a given that she would have been in the play, since she may have had something else to do. So for the time being and to get production rolling, i gave the other one the role.When she let me know that she was available, then i relised it'd be better and safer for her to have it. The other character got a part as well, but she was "I dont want it!!!!!" Never read a script of what either part involved all she could say is i dont want it. I tried to compromise and discuss but NO she drops out.

Another point i realise ( I dont want to bash women) but i realise whenever its man vs woman on an issue, other women automatically take the womans side ignoring whatever she did. Heck a woman could murder her husband for coming home too late and other women would say she was right he shouldve been home early. When this happened I started to get heat from other females who apparently completely ignored her actions.

Just out of curiosity, is this a high school production?

[motormouf]

Sure enough, that's what we're discussing (women). Why does motormouf have these experiences with women. Is he just encountering nasty spoiled women or is there something he's doing - and may not realize it - that's making these sorts of situations worse?



Just out of curiosity, is this a high school production?

Mixed ages, kids to teens the "lady" in question was about 14-15

[Pascal90]

This is an article that gives a good insight to the difference between "Male logic" and "Female logic" http://www.geocities.com/stonerdon/M...e/MFLogic.html

[RabbiKnife]

Mixed ages, kids to teens the "lady" in question was about 14-15

Teenagers are not people. They are teenagers.

You should expect nothing from teenagers. Too many hormones.

[Friend of Jesus]

Teenagers are not people. They are teenagers.

You should expect nothing from teenagers. Too many hormones.

Because that's not stereotyping at all...

Seriously, teenager does not equal emotional and rebellious. It's just that when people hit the beginning of adulthood (14-15) they are hit with issues that they did not have to contend with before (I'm not talking hormones here) and it is rare in our society for anybody to show them the way- It is because of this lack of fathering (not just from fathers) that teenagers are rebellious or emotional- Not just because they are teenagers.