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Thread: Trouble with Family

  1. #1

    Trouble with Family

    Hey guys. I am having some trouble at home with my family and I really don't know what to do. From an early age my parents divorced, and l lived with my mom. I was only able to see my father for certain days specified by the court. Once I turned 18 I was able to go see my father whenever because I became a legal adult. Now that being said, I have always tried to not show favorites regarding my parents, but you might tell that I show a little favoritism toward my father because of the time I missed being with him when I was younger. Lately, my mom has been getting upset over the littlest things that before I turned 18, wouldn't have upset her, but now she gets almost angry at me and I don't understand why. I try to ask her what I did wrong but she just says she doesn't feel good and goes to bed and locks her door, and I'm just alone. Please help me, what do I do that I can help my mother and I's relationship.

  2. #2
    Join Date
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    Well, I've never been in that position, so at best what I have to offer is a guess. I would say she is feeling under appreciated and as though you are rejecting her. I'm not saying this is true, just that it might be her perception. When you ask her what is wrong, she might be feeling that if she tells you and you get angry with her, the rejection then becomes even more "real".

    If I were to make a suggestion, it would be that you let her know in various ways how much you care about her and how much you realize what a good parent she was while you were growing up. Sometimes the smallest things, such as a hug or a sincere "thank you for being the person you are" can go a long way in healing someones hurt and letting them know they are not being discarded.

    I hope that helps a bit - I'll be praying for all of you.
    V

  3. #3
    Join Date
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    I fully second what V just said, and I have been in that situation, and know it well -- not identical to yours, but let's just say the tune's more or less the same, just change a few of the words.

    Your mom's probably feeling insecure right now, because although you are eager to see your dad more often and you enjoy the time you're spending with him.... she doesn't share your eagerness, and she may be feeling a wee bit 'left out in the cold' and unsure of what to do, exactly. A lot of bad memories could be floating around, and this whole situation might make her feel defensive. To disarm her.... honestly... the best thing you can do is let her know she's loved and valued as your mom. Let her know that nobody can EVER replace her. Hug her. Reassure her. Joke around with her.... just love her.

    In time, that anxiety you see in her will be much more likely to fade when she realizes you're not running off to jump on the "dad's a saint and I want to spend every waking moment thinking about him" bandwagon. She's human. Your dad's human. In time, it WILL balance out, and you'll see them both as people with weaknesses AND strengths, two adults who you'll always treasure as a young adult, yourself.

    My prayers go with you!
    -- Your ~sister~ in Christ.... a "Kaffinated Kittykat"!!

    ROMANS 5:8. Forgiven. Freed. Humbled. Amazed. Grateful. Relying on Christ.

    Love is not a place to come and go as we please
    It's a house we enter in, then commit to never leave
    So lock the door behind you, and throw away the key
    We'll work it out together, let it bring us to our knees.....
    Warren Barfield




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