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Thread: Hope for a compulsive liar?

  1. #1

    Help Hope for a compulsive liar?

    I've been married for just over 4 years...but have known my wife for almost 10 years. During our relationship I've been caught in various types of lies. I love my wife very much...but she has LOST hope in our marriage and I feel that she may walk out & not return. I NEED HELP! Is there hope for a compulsive/pathological liar? As far back as I can remember...I always lied to hide/prop up/build up/meneuver etc. I claim to be a Christian...but my walk & actions do not show this. Please send me your thoughts and prayers & "by God's grace" have victory over this entangled sin in my life!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Kentucky, USA
    Posts
    1,264
    Jesus is the only hope for all of our sins.
    It is through His death on the cross--that the penalty was paid for all of our sins.
    Once we become Christians, He will transform our lives through the process of sanctification. By His mercy and grace, we are led to submit ourselves fully to Him.
    When we abide in Him, the Holy Spirit controls our tongue, gives us strength to withstand temptation, and replaces our worldly desires with godly ones. It is a process which does not happen overnight...but as a believer your life should be bearing fruit. Constant lies and deception should sadden you and bother you to the point of repentance, and changed behavior.
    I believe God is showing you the inconsistency of your life, ie: acknowledging Jesus with your lips, but not being willing to follow Him with your life. The question now is are you willing to be broken and surrender complete control of your life to God?
    I've heard it preached that if you don't have a new relationship with sin, you don't have a relationship with Christ. In other words, if in your pride and determination to live your life as you wish to live it, complete with deceiving your wife and others, is more important than bowing to Christ's Lordship and allowing Him to lead and guide you, you will miss out on the Kingdom of Heaven. Christ cannot be our Savior, without also being our Lord. He is both, or He is neither in our lives.

    Rev 21:
    5And He who sits on the throne said, "Behold, I am making all things new " And He said, "Write, for these words are faithful and true."
    6Then He said to me, "It is done I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end I will give to the one who thirsts from the spring of the water of life without cost.
    7"He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son.
    8"But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death."



    In Christ,
    Jen

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by shine4God View Post
    I've been married for just over 4 years...but have known my wife for almost 10 years. During our relationship I've been caught in various types of lies. I love my wife very much...but she has LOST hope in our marriage and I feel that she may walk out & not return. I NEED HELP! Is there hope for a compulsive/pathological liar? As far back as I can remember...I always lied to hide/prop up/build up/meneuver etc. I claim to be a Christian...but my walk & actions do not show this. Please send me your thoughts and prayers & "by God's grace" have victory over this entangled sin in my life!
    This is an easy snare to fall into. The more you do it, the more your heart hardens to it. So it becomes second nature after a while. I suggest doing the opposite. Start out small, when you know you could easily lie about something to "help enhance it" or "prop it up", just tell the truth. Tell 100% truth on something and see what happens, the world wont implode on you . Keep doing this and eventually start moving up to bigger things and you will break the habit, for the most part. Everyone struggles now and again but I think your snare is tight around your ankle, so do what I said and I believe it will help loosen its grip on you. Its a condition of the heart, I think a lot of people get into lying habits and some people break them and others struggle with it. Good old practice makes perfect applies here.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Mid-East Coast, USA
    Posts
    737
    Apparantly your wife is aware of your condition, so, if she is a Christian, I would ask her to help you take this before the Lord. Tell her how you feel about your condition and that you want her to be there. You may consider going to a trusted elder or pastor. You may just go privately before the Lord seeking his help. I know you can be delivered of your sins. I just keep telling people the answer to any sin is more of the Lord. The Bible says in the book of James that we are to submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from us. That sounds easier than it is, but once you finally submit to God, it really is easy. You see, we can't deliver ourselves from sin, only God can do that. God can not only take away the sin, but the desire to sin as well. At the very least, nurture your walk with the Lord. You can never get to close to him. That's how people change. That's how they find deliverance.

  5. #5

    Truth

    Thank you for your truth in your comments above. "The Truth will set you (me) free". It's a heart change that needs to happen...by God's wonderful grace and love in my life. I desire to have true confession over this particular sin in my life today. I've fallen on my face and asked our loving Lord to forgive and wash me from the lies that I've told. He is faithful...& I need to turn the opposite direction...and flee those sins "that so easily ensnared me".

    My wife and I are beginning counseling (with our Pastor & another Counselor) tomorrow evening...please pray that I may be truthful (by His grace) during our session...and that my wife's heart may begin a healing process...! I love her dearly…as well as our children. I want to be an honest, loving husband…and father…by His grace TODAY!

  6. #6
    Nothing is impossible for God as long as you are willing to change yourselves. This habit seems to grow with you since childhood but asking the Holy Spirit (which is in you) to always remind you when you're about to make a lie will help you to get rid of this bad habit. Asking your wife to pray for you - better still, pray together with holding hands, ask forgiveness and strength to do be truthfull will show your wife that you're sincere about changing. I know that changing a habit is easier said than done but you have to work it and with God's help you'll succeed. GBU

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