I want to start looking for another church.

***Living~By~Faith*** · Oct 6th 2009, 06:57 AM

But I just don't have a clue what to do. I thought this church was so great when I started attending last year. There were several small bucket groups going on, which are like smaller bible studies. But they don't seem to have any that would be right for me any longer. I also really didn't get anything out of the ones that I did attend.

They don't have a Sunday School class that I enjoy. The two adult Sunday School classes are more of a preaching setting than a teaching and discussion setting. Our pastor is talking about starting a young adults Sunday School class on Sunday evenings since there isn't any room to have this class on Sunday mornings. But the age group will be 18 to 30. I'll be 31 in a few days, so technically I won't fix into that group. I also think that is too much of an age gap because I don't see that 18 year olds have much in common with 30 year olds.

I'm just overall not getting anything out of my church any longer. I can never remember what the sermons are about after leaving church. But I don't know if it's because of a distraction within this church or if it's something within myself that I'll have a problem with at another church. I think I'm just bored with the teaching style at my church.

I know it costs a lot to keep a church going, but our pastor just keeps going on and on about tithing.

I feel so dry spiritually. I'd just like to find somewhere where I fit in and feel welcomed and will be spiritually fed. But I don't like the idea of starting all over with searching for another church. I don't feel like I belong there and I'm not at all happy there, but I don't know where or how to begin looking for another church.

I'm planning on checking out some of the local churches once I get my license, but I don't know what to say if someone from my church says something to me. I don't feel that it's anyone's business because I won't be leaving my church completely at least not for a long time. I've talked to my one and only true friend at this church about this. She's actually been dealing with this herself because her parents have started attending another church and she has been going back and forth from our church to her parents church for a while. But she's decided that she needs to stay at our church for now. She said she feels that others in the church have judged and shunned her for HER parents leaving our church. I just don't want to deal with that myself. That's why I don't want anyone knowing that I'm visiting other churches.

The thing is I also want to find a church that my parents may attend with me. Either Sunday nights or Wednesday nights. But I don't know how to talk to my parents about attending church with me. I want to ask my parents if they will come to my church Sunday morning and have lunch with me afterwards since it's my birthday. But I doubt they will. My dad says my church is too big for him.

***Quickened*** · Oct 6th 2009, 10:55 AM

You say you arent getting anything out of it. What are you looking to get out of it?
I see you say that you arent getting anything out of bible study and that you feel dry spiritually. This does happen.

Dont feel bad about it.

She said she feels that others in the church have judged and shunned her for HER parents leaving our church.

If this is the kind of fruit that church is producing then I would look somewhere else too. Really.... though church is a body of believers. we are all sons and daughters of Christ. People should be mature enough to recognize that sometimes people have different needs and various churches outside of their own might fill those better.

Various churches have different styles of preaching. Some are indepth expository and some are topically repetitive.

It sounds like you know its time to move on. Sometimes when a man is dying of thirst he needs to look around for water and not wait for it to rain.

I pray that you find a place that can help you grow and build you up as a believer. To equip you and strengthen you. To be a blessing to you.

**soldout4God** · Oct 6th 2009, 11:52 AM

That is a deep situation! I pray that God will guide you. Any situation surrendered to God turns out with the best results!!!

***JohnDB*** · Oct 6th 2009, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by *Living~By~Faith*

But I just don't have a clue what to do.

Obviously...your discerning process is somewhat off kilter here.

Our pastor is talking about starting a young adults Sunday School class on Sunday evenings since there isn't any room to have this class on Sunday mornings. But the age group will be 18 to 30. I'll be 31 in a few days, so technically I won't fix into that group. I also think that is too much of an age gap because I don't see that 18 year olds have much in common with 30 year olds.

The fitting in will be just fine...it is what they call a singles class...and the age range is never what it is supposed to be. The 18 year olds are there to learn from older singles as to what they are supposed to be behaving like and what their future life should look like...you are there for leadership of the younger ones if you can accept the responsibility.

I'm just overall not getting anything out of my church any longer. I can never remember what the sermons are about after leaving church. But I don't know if it's because of a distraction within this church or if it's something within myself that I'll have a problem with at another church. I think I'm just bored with the teaching style at my church. I know it costs a lot to keep a church going, but our pastor just keeps going on and on about tithing.

The preacher at my church is also a prolific book writer...and where his books read just fine and are good reads...his preaching style is the same as his book writing style...and so very boring as well...I can't stand his preaching style at all...but that isn't why I go...I am there for others and not me and not him.

I feel so dry spiritually. I'd just like to find somewhere where I fit in and feel welcomed and will be spiritually fed. But I don't like the idea of starting all over with searching for another church. I don't feel like I belong there and I'm not at all happy there, but I don't know where or how to begin looking for another church.

Do you do any of your own devotional study? Do you have any calling in your life for any type of ministry?...Most Children of God do have a calling of some kind in their life to do something...not neccesarily a paid position inside of the church itself...It sounds like that these people need you more than you need them...a servant's heart is a rare thing...and special.

I'm planning on checking out some of the local churches once I get my license,

What kind of liscense are you talking about? Driver's?

The thing is I also want to find a church that my parents may attend with me. Either Sunday nights or Wednesday nights. But I don't know how to talk to my parents about attending church with me. I want to ask my parents if they will come to my church Sunday morning and have lunch with me afterwards since it's my birthday. But I doubt they will. My dad says my church is too big for him.

Your lack of communication skills on a verbal level are an obvious issue for you. For some reason you can't seem to find interaction with others at your church now nor be able to speak to your parents...or others if anyone says anything to you about looking at other opportunities in your community for a singles fellowship that allows for group discussion. I am not sure that another church will be the answer to prayer that you think it will be.

***Living~By~Faith*** · Oct 6th 2009, 04:35 PM

I definitely have a servants heart and the staff at my church all know this. I can't remember how many times I've said something to them about helping out with things on a day to day basis, but no one has ever called or asked me to come by the church to help out with anything. I want to be involved with things but don't see where I fit in at my church. I went over there last Wednesday just to do some things and I heard the co-pastor ask someone why I was there. I feel like I'm not wanted there when I come by to offer to help.

I don't really do much devotional study and I know that is a major problem in all of this. I'll never get anything out of any church service until I start putting in my own effort first. I did study a lot for several days a few weeks back and I really got a lot out of the service that following Sunday. So I guess I need to work on preparing myself more to receive the message.