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Thread: struggling

  1. #1
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    struggling

    i dont know how to title this. i dont really even know how to describe all this, because I feel like im just repeating requests ive made before and i dont want ppl to feel like "here she is again". im just right now i feel like im sinking and the worst part is i dont have the desire to fight to stay above water anymore...i want to go numb...and i dont care anymore. im going through depression i know, but im very suspicious i might be bi-polar...i have days or weeks where im on this great high and everything seems great and i come crashing down and it lasts for days or weeks also.
    yesterday an english professor yelled at me...she came down on me for being late, for turning in two papers (in the whole semester) late, for not "participating" enough, she said i was lazy and couldnt keep up with everyone else and she thought i should drop because i was going to fail anyways, and because I was late that day she counted me absent from the entire class. Then she went on to say that she wouldnt accept the paper i had written even tho the day I was supposed to turn it in i was sick and had a doctors excuse..and this paper is 10% of my grade.
    She not only yelled at me she did it in front of another student. I was so mad...I mean I rarely get really mad but I was furious. I left school after that and had to drive around just to calm myself down. I am still so angry that everytime i think about it I swear I hope she takes a dirt nap. ]
    Its time for registration for classes next semester, im having trouble in this school, i hate the professors, i hate this school in general..its so small its like being in high school again. I'm lonely, I have these gorgeous skinny friends who have guys all over them all the time and I feel like the fat ugly friend that no one wants to talk to. I've been hurt and rejected so many times this year alone I can feel myself withdrawing...even from my best friend. I just want to be alone, I dont want to talk to anyone. It's easier than going through more crap. I was in a Christian store today and started listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's cd and I had to stop...because it made me cry. I just got over the flu and the next day that i was feeling better caught conjuctivitis in both of my eyes. That has finally healed up and now I have a bad sore throat again. Because I was out of work for about a week with the flu, my paycheck next week is probably not going to even cover my gas money. I am just at a loss....everything in my life...every relationship I have...my health, my money, school, work, its all falling apart on me. Even the little things just add up and I dont know how to handle it anymore...I dont know if i even want to.
    I'm just exhausted, and I dont know...I just dont know anymore.
    "My DADDY is bigger than your problems!"

    ~Danielle~

  2. #2
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    Sounds like you're having a pretty tough time of it, Danielle, and if this is a request for prayer you certainly have mine.

    We'll be holding you up, asking that the LORD give you victory over these anxieties and depressions. Praying also that He draw you close to Himself and comfort you as you face these difficulties at school, knowing that these kind of things will continue to be a part of our lives, even when we're done with school.

    Praying that you will be led to any further help or counselling you may need if you think you are BP, and that provision be made for this.

    Hope you keep us updated as to your progress, especially with school.

    We'll be watcing and praying.



  3. #3
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    Praying for your faith to be restored and peace of mind. Let go and let God. He is our peace, happiness, and provider, everything that is needed (you notice I don't mention wants, because His will is perfect, not ours). When I have life invade, I start praying for anyone the Lord knows about that is in the same shape I'm in, so they will be blessed and find victory in Him. Hope this helps. Blessings to you.

  4. #4
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    Hug In Me you may have peace!



    Father I thank You for Danielle.

    I thank You that none of the things You are allowing her to endure are without reason. Lord, You know how difficult this life is. You know, Your son walked it. He lived it so that we could know that You do indeed understand just how hard it is, and how hopeless it can seem at times.

    Lord, I thank You that we see the promise in John, that
    John 16:33 (b) In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.


    I thank You also that we hear You speak to us this truth in the same verse.

    These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.

    Oh Father, please grant Danielle Your peace, and see her through this current time of struggle.

    In Your Son's Name I ask,

    AMEN.





  5. #5
    Join Date
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    . . .

    (If you think you may be bi polar go to a doctor and get a proper diagnosis, and if necessary, the necessary drugs)

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by EaglesWINGS911 View Post
    i dont know how to title this. i dont really even know how to describe all this, because I feel like im just repeating requests ive made before and i dont want ppl to feel like "here she is again". im just right now i feel like im sinking and the worst part is i dont have the desire to fight to stay above water anymore...i want to go numb...and i dont care anymore. im going through depression i know, but im very suspicious i might be bi-polar...i have days or weeks where im on this great high and everything seems great and i come crashing down and it lasts for days or weeks also.
    yesterday an english professor yelled at me...she came down on me for being late, for turning in two papers (in the whole semester) late, for not "participating" enough, she said i was lazy and couldnt keep up with everyone else and she thought i should drop because i was going to fail anyways, and because I was late that day she counted me absent from the entire class. Then she went on to say that she wouldnt accept the paper i had written even tho the day I was supposed to turn it in i was sick and had a doctors excuse..and this paper is 10% of my grade.
    She not only yelled at me she did it in front of another student. I was so mad...I mean I rarely get really mad but I was furious. I left school after that and had to drive around just to calm myself down. I am still so angry that everytime i think about it I swear I hope she takes a dirt nap. ]
    Its time for registration for classes next semester, im having trouble in this school, i hate the professors, i hate this school in general..its so small its like being in high school again. I'm lonely, I have these gorgeous skinny friends who have guys all over them all the time and I feel like the fat ugly friend that no one wants to talk to. I've been hurt and rejected so many times this year alone I can feel myself withdrawing...even from my best friend. I just want to be alone, I dont want to talk to anyone. It's easier than going through more crap. I was in a Christian store today and started listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's cd and I had to stop...because it made me cry. I just got over the flu and the next day that i was feeling better caught conjuctivitis in both of my eyes. That has finally healed up and now I have a bad sore throat again. Because I was out of work for about a week with the flu, my paycheck next week is probably not going to even cover my gas money. I am just at a loss....everything in my life...every relationship I have...my health, my money, school, work, its all falling apart on me. Even the little things just add up and I dont know how to handle it anymore...I dont know if i even want to.
    I'm just exhausted, and I dont know...I just dont know anymore.
    I am no way an expert on bipolar, but my sister does have that problem and to me it does sound as if you definitely have the symptoms. I am praying that you will get help for the disorder, or any other, if any that needs help.

    For a teacher to holler at a student is outrageous. For her to do it in front of another student on top of that makes me wonder what kind of control she has over her life and emotions. I'm sorry that happened.

    I will be praying for you to have a good school experience, either where you are or elsewhere, either coming up or in the future, and for you to be led to do what, if anything, would help you to feel real good about your appearance.
    Please pray for "the least of these" in the Persecuted Church Prayer Forum at top.

    Acts 21 Now they have been informed about you that you continually teach all the Jews who live among the Gentiles to turn back from and forsake Moses...Therefore do just what we tell you. With us are 4 men who have taken a vow upon themselves. Take these men and purify yourself along with them and pay their expenses [for a temple offering],...Thus everybody will know that there is no truth in what they have been told about you, but that you yourself walk in observance of the Law of Moses.


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